The shadows were clogged with the heavy scent of animals, masked only by the intoxicating aroma of incense -opium, he thought - and the somehow comforting smell of fresh tea. The latter fragrance wove artfully through the air like a mischievous dancer and led him like a bloodhound to the now familiar parlour set. He glanced around once before announcing himself in his usual gruff manner.

"Count."

"Detective."

The voice that answered him was soft and slightly accented. Within it he could hear sly, secret smiles like faces hidden in the clouds.

"Why the hell do you always keep it so dark in here? Wouldn't kill you to turn a few lights on," he remarked as he sat down in his now-customary seat across from the other man.

"Many of the animals here are quite sensitive to light," his host replied. "I would not want to unduly upset them." As though in agreement the Count's winged companion squeaked shrilly.

"Hn." It wasn't a sound of agreement, but neither was it an argument.

"Would you care for some tea, Detective? Or is this not a social call?"

"Is it ever?"

"No, I suppose not."

Leon sighed and nodded at the teapot. He admitted to himself with some chagrin as the tea was poured that he was starting to develop a strange sort of fondness for his recurrent visits to the strange petshop located in the heart of Chinatown... and even a sort of grudging respect for the store's peculiar owner.

Count D was unlike anyone Leon had ever met before, both in looks and personality. As a homicide detective, Leon had worked in Chinatown before but none of the other residents seemed to possess the Count's aura of mystery. No matter what he was saying or doing, D managed to exude a mystic and esoteric aura that was somehow uniquely Eastern in feel. He had an equilibrium to be admired; no matter what Leon accused him of it seemed not to upset the man one bit. He was also possessed of a strange and subtle sense of humour, one that Leon felt he would never be able to truly comprehend.

"So, Detective, what brings you to my humble establishment this time?"

"I'm guessing you've already heard that Zachary Westbrook died the other day."

"Yes, I did. Pity; I heard he was a genius in his field."

"Yeah," Leon muttered. He sipped his tea and placed the cup down, trying hard not to be infuriated by D's calm expression. It was a hard task. "Zachary Westbrook was a doctor. Not that long ago he had a big malpractice suit filed against him and he almost lost his job." Leon settled back a bit more comfortably in his seat. "Not long after that he suddenly became the most sought-after doctor in the city due to his new and highly effective method of bone-setting. Apparently he discovered a technique that let broken bones heal in record time.

"His body was found in the bathroom, next to the tub, which was filled with water." Leon took another gulp of tea, not really relishing the next detail. "All his blood was drained, and his liver was gone, pulled out through his, uh, anus."

D's berry-stained lips curved the tiniest bit. "Oh?"

"Yeah. And guess what, Count? Before his resurgence in popularity and his death, Westbrook made a visit to your petshop."

D said nothing, merely sipped his tea. Leon fought back an urge to throttle the man with great effort, his hands curling into tight fists.

"I know you sold him something, Count," Leon said as evenly as he could manage. "What was it?"

D's mismatched eyes regarded him over the rim of the upraised teacup like a mellow cat's. "The creature I sold Mr. Westbrook was a very rare and exotic species of monkey, Detective. Mr. Westbrook signed a contract upon purchase of this animal outlining its care and relieving the petshop of any liability if the conditions outlined were not followed. It was all perfectly legal."

Leon sighed a little. "I figured as much," he muttered and reached into his coat pocket. "I know it's not much," he grumbled as he placed a small box on the low table. "But I thought, you know, maybe you might appreciate this..."

D's lips twitched into a sardonic smile. "Is this bribery, Detective?"

Leon smiled a little himself. "Could be."

The transformation that took place on D's face upon opening the box was rather dramatic in a comical way. His odd-coloured eyes widened and his painted lips sprung open in a gasp of unaffected delight before his pale face was suffused with an emotion that was unmistakable: greed. Tapered, elegant hands reached covetously towards the box and the sinfully decadent chocolate treat contained inside. I know women who would kill to have hands like he does, Leon thought to himself. It was true too; he knew that Jill in the office could only envy D's long painted nails. For one moment Leon had a perfectly clear vision of those exquisite hands dragging themselves over naked flesh, and then it was gone. Leon shook his head. Must be the incense, he thought.

"Oh, Detective!" D was exclaiming. "This really, this is too much... this is imported from Switzerland, is it not?"

"Yuh-huh," Leon replied with a careless shrug.

D carefully sampled the chocolate, his painted lips closing over the morsel daintily. His face flooded with ecstasy and a delighted moan escaped his throat as he chewed. Leon couldn't help but crack a smile.

"Better than sex, eh Count?" he asked jokingly. D swallowed and turned a cheshire-cat grin upon him.

"In many cases Detective, yes. Far better." He wiped delicately at the corner of his mouth and regarded Leon with his mysterious eyes once more in silent invitation.

"The monkey you sold Westbrook?" Leon prompted him gently.

D nodded slightly. "As I said, it is a rare breed from Japan. This particular breed is somewhat scaly, and lives in water. It is called a kappa."

"A kappa?" Leon repeated.

"Yes. Kappa's were well known throughout ancient Japan for their knowledge concerning medicine and were also widely feared. They are somewhat vampiric in nature."

"You sold Westbrook a blood-sucking monkey?!"

"Not at all. Kappa's far prefer the taste of cucumbers to that of blood and one of the terms outlined in Mr. Westbrook's agreement was that he should always ensure that the creature was regularly fed this vegetable." D shook his head, but a transparent smile remained on his lips. "I'm afraid we cannot be held responsible for Mr. Westbrook's carelessness."

"So, Westbrook bought a magic monkey that taught him how to set bones and then because he forgot to feed it a zucchini one day it got pissed off and ripped his liver out through his ass?!"

"Cucumber, Detective. Not zucchini."

Leon sighed and slumped his shoulders. "I don't believe this," he muttered.

"Whether you believe me or not is up to you. I am simply telling what I know."

Leon arched an eyebrow. "Okay, if Westbrook WAS killed by Mr. Psycho-Monkey, where is it now, Count? Huh?"

D tilted his head the slightest bit. "Since Mr. Westbrook broke the contract, I repossessed it. Such an animal cannot be allowed to run loose, you understand."

"Yeah, it might distend some poor loser's anus," Leon said with mock sincerity. D smiled at him again.

"Exactly."

Leon shook his head. "I'm starting to think you like fucking with me, Count."

D's smile extended a notch. "Interesting choice of words, Detective. Shall I take that as an invitation?"

Leon sputtered as the Count rose from his seat, silky fabric rustling covertly in the dimness. "Come, Detective, I'll show you the creature if you wish."

Leon stood and followed the slim figure before him, his mind reeling slightly from the incense and the fact that it seemed that D had made a pass at him. Or had it been the other way around? He rubbed the back of his head and mentally cursed himself for an easily manipulated fool.

D led him down a staircase and then down a hallway lined with screens. The smell of incense was heavier than ever before and Leon waved at the air in front of his face. "Jesus, Count, open a window," he grumbled. At last they reached a room, lit by a single lantern. In the middle of the room, half-hidden in the smoky haze, was a large tub.

"Is this it?" Leon asked. D nodded.

"Yes, Detective. The kappa is in the tank. I ask that you do not disturb it, however. Merely look, and do not get too close." Leon had the uncomfortable sensation that D was smiling, and he nearly jumped when the other man's breath tickled his cheek. "He has not been fed yet today, you see."

"Right," Leon muttered and leaned over the tub to see what was hidden in the water. For a minute he could see only his own reflection, and then slight movement below the surface caught his eye. He moved back a little and slowly a small skull covered by dingy, greenish scales emerged from the depths. Leon blinked, and the creature in the water blinked back,

It was about the size of a toddler, Leon guessed, and it did greatly resemble a monkey with no tail. Its entire body was covered with scales, and its long digits were webbed and tipped with what appeared to be small claws. Leon whistled softly as the creature regarded him with black eyes.

"So this is it, huh?"

"Yes." D moved closer to the tank and held a large cucumber over the water. The kappa's eyes seemed to take on a modicum more emotion and it snatched greedily at the vegetable. Before it dove back below the water Leon saw that the animal had very sharp teeth.

"Westbrook was a man with expensive tastes, Detective," D informed him softly. "Expensive tastes and expensive vices. The loss of his job would have been very bad news for him indeed, for he owed some very... influential people money." D chuckled gently. "The sort of people who create a need for bone-setting, if you understand." Leon nodded and D continued. "Medicine was all he was ever good at, and he knew it. But when everyone thinks you are a dangerous man to have work on you, well... Even a black sheep can become a hero, you know, and everyone feels safe with a hero."

D looked into the tank, his face a pale blur in the filmy shadows. "Westbrook came to this petshop because he had heard things about the use of shark cartilage by some doctors. He wanted to know if he could acquire such an animal from me. I however, decided that this kappa might be of more interest to him... and it was."

"Too bad it killed him," Leon remarked sharply.

"We had a contract, Detective."

Leon sighed. "I know, I know. Okay, get me outta here before I choke."

D led him back up to the main room of the store, seeing him to the door. "It is a pity," D sighed as Leon reached for the doorhandle. "He could have helped many people." He looked directly at Leon with his mismatched eyes. "But then, I suppose people who cannot control their own desires do not make the best pet-owners. Pity. Goodbye Detective, until next time."

Author's Note: The kappa IS a real creature in Japanese mythology. Modern kappas reside in toilets, and so you should always check before sitting down.

Writing

Index