Shawnibuya/Kitten's Creepy Crafts - recycled from 2003, hopefully with new additions to come!

I've only got 5 mintues, so here we go!

Step 1: Get an apple

Step 2: stick it up your butt.

Step 3: Enjoy it, you sick fuck.

Okay, I have more time now.

Creating your own shrunken head.

Step One: Go buy a large apple.
Step Two: Peel the apple and carve a face into it.
Step Three: Soak it in a solution of water and lemon juice for 2 hours.
Step Four: Throw it out and go sever the head of someone who pisses you off.
Step Five: Dry the head out and voila! Your very own shrunken head.

Making a Decorative Corpse
Step One: Buy a shovel.
Step Two: Go to your local cemetary.
Step Three: Pick out a grave.
Step Four: Dig.
Step Five: Carry it home and ta-da! it even SMELLS real!

How to make a demon
Step One: Change into your funny robes.
Step Two: Using your spooooooky powers, invoke SHUB-NIGGURATH and demand she pose for your decoations.
Step Three: After you get laughed at and have bile spat at you, drag your ass to WalMart and buy a plastic one.

Eye-ball Stew
Step One: Pull out your eyes.
Step Two: Make a stew.
Step Three: Figure out that you need eyes to see the stew, cry, and bleed to death.

Garbage Bag Ghosts
Step One: Get a garbage bag, preferably white. Orange will suffice, and if you're really a wanker you can use green.
Step Two: Go outside.
Step Three: Kidnap the elderly and stick em in the bags - this will create the illusion that your 'ghosts' are moving and not just shitty garbage bags in trees.

That's all, folks. Now get the hell out of here, I've got shit to do.