Date: Wed, 12 Dec 2001 02:59:00 -0500
To: Matthew Gaylor <freematt@coil.com>
From: Matthew Gaylor <freematt@coil.com>
Subject: The 12 Days of PC Christmas
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" ; format="flowed"

http://freedomofpress.tripod.com/12days.html

The Politically Correct Twelve Days

On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, 
Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship to 
me:

a.. TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,

b.. ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of 
members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for 
in their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a 
note)

c.   TEN melanin deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the 
patriarchal ruling class system leaping

d.   NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression

e.   EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing 
milk-products from enslaved Bovine-Americans

f.    SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands

g.   SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal products,

h.   FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic 
incarceration. NOTE: after members of the Animal Liberation Front 
threatened to throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, hens 
and partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To 
avoid further Animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift package 
has been revised.

a.   FOUR hours of recorded whale songs

b.   THREE deconstructionist poets

c.   TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree 
carcasses, and

d.   ONE Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.

Merry Christmas. Happy Chanukah. Good Kwanzaa. Blessed Yule. Oh, heck!

Happy Holidays!!!! *

*Unless, of course, you are suffering from Seasonally Affected 
Disorder (SAD). If this be the case, please substitute this 
gratuitous call for celebration with suggestion that you have a 
thoroughly adequate day.


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