Author: Cosmic Rhapsody
Censor: PG
Genre: Romance
Dib rolled over in his bed, sleeplessly. He usually wouldn't have trouble
making a decision like this. But now it seemed so hard. When you had intense
feelings for somebody, you can't bury them deep inside, like a shell in the
sand at the beach. You had to find them, face them, and overcome them. But,
what if you didn't want to? What if you really wanted to stay with them,
when you could be famous? To get the publicity that you always wanted? But
then. Then he'd be gone. Gone, out of his life, like so many other wonderful
people had. His father, his mother...how could he be sure of a reality that
could just dissappear when it was at the peak of happiness? He could have
some wonderful dream of him, holding onto him, smiling, a kiss sweet and
fresh and warm upon his moist lips. Then it would dissappear...and that was
the only reason for waking up, and facing the day. Before this, there was
always the hope of something, somebody, that could take him away, out into
the stars, and show him a new life. One that was worth living. And, in that
life, simple things were so beautiful. But the beautiful dream was always
just a dream. Dreams don't come true, Dib thought coldly. He'd given up
dreaming since then.
Dib reached over and touched his lamp. It illuminated his small room with
a
soft golden glow. Dib's fingers searched for his glasses, and slid them onto
his face. The room came into focus out of the blurryness. He sighed as he
held the small object in his hand. The object he had hidden away, so Zim
couldn't find it. The object which Zim had chased through his bloodstream to
destroy the information of where Dib had hid it. The object which Dib had
found by accident a few hours ago.
The tape had been in a small envelope in a box he kept his most treasured
things. A lock of his mother's shiny purple hair next to his baby one of
spiky black. His Journal, which was filled to the very last page of notes on
Zim. Every step he took that day, every action, move, word, it was all in
that book. And some cherished drawings of Zim as well. And one....Dib picked
it up and blushed and wiggled happily. Him and Zim. Each face was filled
with the utmost amount of passion and happiness with being together. Dib
smiled happily as he floated into that dream, stored deep within the
crevices of his mind. But he jerked out of it, and carefully placed the
special picture under his lampside post, and took the disk back into his two
hands.
Yes, the picture disk. He had found it, and now he had two choices. He
could send in the disk, have Zim captured, and save the human race. But if
he did that, he wouldn't have Zim around anymore. To chase, to taunt, to
give him a reason to wake up in the morning to start another day. To love.
Every morning, Dib thought of ending his life. Every morning, he thought
of
moving into his dream world for eternity, to a place where he could rest in
eternal happiness. Every morning, he thought of Zim. A new challenge every
day. And he would raise the curtains and look out into the glorious sunrise,
and remind himself that this was what he must save. Sunsets, joy, feelings,
love. If not for him, for everybody else. For everybody else.
How could he think of giving up the fight to save the earth? But if he
did....there would be no reason for him to keep going. Surely he wouldn't
survive too long without Zim on the earth. God, he prayed. Please give me a
happy end. In the past, present and future, I'm completely devoted...
But! Think of how you would be treated! The Child Genius...Dib pictured
News on TV; the treatment he'd get at school! No longer beaten up by
bullies, given special duties by the teachers, tributed every day, holidays
from school on the day he had ridden the world of the alien menace, Zim.
Finally, his father and sister would give him the respect he truly deserved.
He wouldn't be the butt of every joke. He wouldn't have to worry about
people giving him odd looks. And he wouldn't be ignored! Unimaginable joy
rose. But as quick as it came, it plunged back down into the depths of his
soul. Without Zim around, even with everybody treating him normally, life
hadn't the spice in it. And besides...Dib gulped down a lump in his throat.
You can't abandon the one you truly love.
Dib hadn't wanted to admit it to himself at first. You don't share
feelings
with somebody...something that wanted to counquer earth. Something else out
there. But Dib knew it, deep inside, that he wanted to be with Zim every
moment of his life, and every time he hurt Zim, physically or emotionally,
he was sure it hurt him ten times worse. After all, you hurt the ones you
love, and oppisites attract, right? Well, they weren't complete oppisites.
After all, they both had a few things in common. They had no one to love.
With that thought, Dib closed his fist and crunched the disk.