Girlfriend
© 7/22/2001

The first time he asked me out, I said yes before he even went over the 
stipulations. We had been pen pals for months and had finally met in 
January. That same day, he asked what I was doing the next night. I had 
told him, "Hopefully going home, why?" The look on his face was 
something I'll never forget. He suddenly got this defeated look on his 
face and turned away from me, saying, "Oh."

"But I could change my plans if you had something in mind," I added 
quickly.

He glanced back at me and stumbled over his words, which I found 
endearing because I had never seen or heard him at a loss for words. "I 
was...uh...kinda wondering if you'd...uh...like to go out with me 
tomorrow night?"

"Are you asking me on a date?" I inquired, knowing perfectly well that 
he was.

"Yes."

"Sure, I'd love to go."

He perked up slightly but then went on the defensive, almost as if he 
was trying to talk me out of it. "You do know that we wouldn't be going 
alone."

"Yes, I know," I replied.

"We'd have to bring my bodyguard. And more than likely we'll be 
followed. And if by chance someone does catch up with us, they'll wanna 
know who you are. And..."

"I know," I replied again. "Don't worry. I'll be fine. This is my dream 
and it's probably the only time it's gonna happen. Just if someone 
comes up to us while we're eating, I'll physically pull them away from 
the table." I grinned evilly and he wrapped an arm around my shoulder.

"That, I'd like to see." We both laughed, knowing that I probably 
couldn't do what I was implying because I was barely five feet tall and 
weighed a hundred pounds.

That first date turned into several over the next six months. Granted, 
he had to work and I had to go to school, but he still managed to 
squeeze me in somewhere. Sometimes he'd fly me to Los Angeles, meet me 
there and tell me not to worry about the price. He even flew me to 
Florida for the weekend once. I had to admit that after all that time I 
was beginning to feel like we were a couple. Yeah, I dated on the side 
manly because he said I could and that we really weren't an item. And 
one of the best things about it was that he never took me any place 
where he knew there would be media. Yeah, he had awards shows to 
attend, but he never asked me. I didn't really care.

Then one day while he was on tour he asked me to come early to the 
sound check. I came and we sat there on the edge of the stage talking 
for a while. Then out of the blue he turns to me and says, "Becca."

"Yes," I replied, not knowing what to expect.

"Would you be my girlfriend? I mean, I want you to know that if you 
agree that you'll come under my spotlight and everyone will know your 
name. Some people will hate you just because you're dating me, but I 
think this a right. If you want to."

I stared at him for a moment and then started laughing. "Why are you 
laughing?" he asked me, suddenly terrified.

I composed myself before answering, "It's not because of you or 
anything you've said. It's just something that I've had in my head for 
a long time."

"What?"

I then turned serious. "When I first heard the song 'I'll Never Break 
Your Heart,' I longed for someone who could say those words to me and 
really mean them. So, Alexander James McLean, can you say those words 
to me and mean them?"

He looked at me and then replied, "I can do better than that." I 
watched as he opened his mouth and started singing, "I'll never break 
your heart. I'll never make you cry. I'd rather die then live without 
you. I'll give you all of me, honey that's no lie." He sounded 
absolutely beautiful, singing those simple words from a song he knew so 
well, solo. The thing that moved me to tears though was the way each 
note came from somewhere deep inside him and was filled with 
conviction. By what I could tell, he really did mean it. The tears 
streamed down my cheeks as I hugged him, agreeing to his request.