Disclaimer time once again! Fourth verse same as the first . . everybody *sing*: I don't own these characters, (chorus) Paramount does! I don't own this venue, (chorus) Paramount does! I am making no money off of this, (chorus) Paramount does not either! This story involves sex between two men, aka: slash.  If that is *not* your cup of tea, sweet as it is, then don't read it!  (simple, ain't it??) Major angst warning, later on, as well as spoilers for "Caretaker", "Emmanations", "Threshold", "Investigations", "Deadlock", and "The Chute". Feedback is *very* much appreciated and always answered.  Flames will be passed around to friends and chuckled over.  :) This is the sequel to "Yours" and "Mine", so if you haven't read them, this *really* won't make a whole lot of sense. ************************************************ Janeway walked into Sickbay with her usual purposeful stride, and stopped short.  There, on the floor in the middle of the room, were Tom and Harry, wrapped up together in a blanket and, apparently, little else.  They were so tangled up around each other, she couldn't tell, for the life of her, where one ended and the other began.  Oh, my. Maybe *this* was the reason Tom had left Voyager, deliberately disobeying her orders?  If they had been involved before Harry went down to the planet, there was no way in hell Tom would have left him alone down there.  Could they have possibly managed to hide their relationship *that* well?  Janeway knew Harry could be the soul of discretion, but Tom . . She just wasn't sure.  Certainly he could have *told* her, for heaven's sake. Unless . . *Harry* had made him promise *not* to.  Tom would never have broken that kind of promise, she was sure, even if it *had* meant swaying her decision. She took a closer look at them, finally seeing the long hair both were sporting.  Good lord, how long had they been gone? Harry's hair was twice as long as her own, Tom's roughly the same length.  And they had obviously been outdoors a great deal; both of them were tanned, Harry, even darker than Chakotay.  Not much else was visible, thankfully, given their evident state of undress.  They were covered to their shoulders, in one of the blankets Tom took from Harry's bed before he left, she surmised. Lost in thought, she didn't notice the Doctor trying to get her attention until she heard him softly clear his throat from the other side of the room.  Giving the two men asleep on the floor a wide berth, she went over to the Doctor. "How are they?" she asked quietly. "They both appear to be in excellent physical health, Captain. Probably in even better condition then when they left," he replied in a soft voice. "Can you tell me how long they've been gone, Doctor?" "How long they've been gone and how much they have aged are not necessarily the same thing, Captain.  They have only been gone for two and a half days, in Ensign Kim's case, and two days, six hours, in the Lieutenant's.  However, they seem to have aged three and half years, and three years, two months, respectively," he answered. Janeway closed her eyes and put her hand over her mouth. Three and a half *years*?  She opened her eyes, reluctantly, and sighed heavily. "Damn," she muttered. "I would say that about sums it up, Captain," the Doctor responded, with acerbic humor. They paused, noting Tom seemed to be stirring, and moved closer. Tom vaguely heard voices in the distance and gradually came to wakefulness.  He opened his eyes, slowly, and saw himself looking up at the ceiling in Sickbay.  It might have been years, but he remembered it well. he thought . Janeway saw his eyes open and knew when Tom realized where he was. No emotion there at all, just a vague resignation came over his features as he turned his head to Harry, still asleep in his arms. "Sweetheart," he whispered, in a voice roughened by sleep. "You're not going to believe where we are." "Hmmm?" Harry mumbled. "Well, I'm not sure, Toto, but I don't think we're in Kansas anymore," he answered with a wry chuckle. Harry peeled one eye open and woke up immediately, looking up at Tom, then past him, at the familiar ceiling.  Sickbay. "Well, *shit*," he muttered, causing Tom to laugh even harder. "We knew it was too good to last forever, didn't we?" he asked the man in his arms lovingly, before turning his head to kiss him with a slow-burning passion. Harry groaned and kissed him back, hard, completely oblivious to the presence of the other two people in the room. The Doctor seemed to be taking it all in stride, rocking on his heels, waiting for them to finish, but Janeway was floored. <*Damn*, hook these two up to the warp core and we'll be home tomorrow> she thought, not knowing how to subtly break them apart.  Just then the Doctor cleared his throat again, rather loudly, this time, causing the two lovers on the floor to look over and see them for the first time.  Janeway thought it might be a good idea to let them have some time alone together, but not too much, she thought wryly. "Gentlemen, why don't you spend a few minutes getting yourselves together and report to my ready room in twenty minutes?" "Yes, Captain," they answered simultaneously. Janeway went to leave, feeling their eyes watching her walk to the door, and she turned. "Tom, Harry, it's good to have you both home, again," she said softly, sincerely. "Thank you, Captain," they answered, again at the same time. She smiled and went through the door, heading to the lift.  Not until she was halfway to the bridge, did she remember that neither one had said it was good to *be* home. She sighed. Damn, again. Tom spoke up.  "Doc, could we borrow some clothes until we get to our quarters?  I don't think the blanket will cover it." The Doctor snorted.  "Pun intended, Mr. Paris?  Right over here," he motioned opening a drawer of those wonderful blue Sickbay pajamas.  Ugh. "I took the liberty of healing your injuries, nothing too serious, as I'm sure you're aware.  Just a few minor lacerations, abrasions and contusions. I'll leave you both some privacy, now, but I would appreciate it if you could report back to me, at your earliest convenience.  I'd like to run a few tests." They both sighed.  "Sure, Doc," Harry said, Tom nodding in agreement, albeit without much enthusiasm. "Splendid.  Computer end EMH program," he finished before fading out of sight. They sighed and tossed off the blanket, standing up slowly, working the kinks out.  The floor was *not* the comfortable bed they had fallen asleep on, not by a long shot.  Tom looked at Harry with an evil grin. "Oh, no, you don't, don't even *think* about it," Harry hissed at him, smiling.  "We are *not* doing it in Sickbay." Tom heaved a martyr's sigh and moved to gently take his lover into his arms. "Spoilsport," He whispered, lovingly, into his ear, kissing him on the neck and letting him go. "Maybe so, but we only *have* twenty minutes to get to our quarters, change, and report to the Captain," Harry answered, grinning slightly, at Tom's insatiable, lovable, wonderful nature. "It would only take ten, Love," he started, moving toward Harry again with that familiar gleam in his eyes. Harry laughed, picturing Tom chasing him around the biobeds, finally getting what he wanted. "Later," he said, softly. "Like we'll *ever* have this opportunity, again," Tom grumbled. Harry just smiled tolerantly, slipping the blue clothing on. Definitely not his color, but not too bad at all on Tom.  Needed to be a bit darker, though.  Harry shook himself out of it.  Tom walked over to the blanket, picked it up, and folded it across his arm. "It *is* yours, after all, might as well return it to your quarters," he responded to Harry's look of inquiry. Harry took Tom's other hand in his and kissed the palm. "You okay, Cougar?" he asked gently. "I don't know, yet, Love," Tom answered.  "You?" Harry shook his head.  "I don't know, either," he sighed. "Whatever happens, we'll be okay.  I love you," he whispered softly, kissing Harry. Harry wrapped his arms around him, kissing him back.  "I know," he said, wishing he could be more certain that everything would *be* okay. "Let's go?" Tom asked. Harry nodded, and they left Sickbay together.  Fortunately, there was no one lurking around the outer corridor, and they headed for the lift.  Tom leaned back, seemingly nonchalant, against the wall, looking at his lover. Harry saw that evil grin come over his face again and burst out laughing. "*No*, we are *not* stopping the lift, either," he warned, still laughing.  "Damn, you're hungry." Tom mock-pouted.  "I haven't eaten anything in *hours*," he complained. "We'll feed you later.  You'll live!" Harry exclaimed, as the doors opened near their quarters, and they exited, heading for his, first. "Without you?  Not long," Tom replied, smiling, yet serious. Harry smiled back at him and they walked hand in hand through his door.  Tom tossed the blanket on the bed and looked at Harry, one eyebrow quirked.  Harry groaned in not-so-mock- exasperation and started looking through his clothes.  Pretty soon he was dressed from the waist down, but nothing fit from the waist up.  It didn't even occur to him to try on his spare uniform, not that it would've fit, anyway. "You can wear something of mine," Tom offered.  "I prefer looser clothing, something's bound to fit you." Harry nodded his thanks, wondering if he was going to need to replicate an entire wardrobe.  He hoped not.  They headed out again, going down the corridor to Tom's quarters.  Just as he had left them, a total mess. Harry sighed fondly. Not much had changed, there. Tom walked over to the closet and started rummaging, finding a dark, gunmetal gray shirt to go with Harry's lighter gray slacks. Harry tossed it on over his head.  Tom whistled. "It's yours," he said in admiration.  "It *never* looked that good on me." Harry grinned.  "Thanks.  Got *anything* in there in blue?" he asked, looking at his lover innocently. Tom groaned, tempted to bang his head on the wall a few times. "*Harry*, don't do this to me, not in a room with a bed in it," he moaned. Harry laughed.  "Sorry," he said, completely unapologetic. Tom found a dark blue shirt in a muted pattern with a pair of slacks to match and hurriedly tossed them on, before he started something they wouldn't have time to finish. Running a brush through his hair, he sighed, then gave up, handing it to Harry, who ran it quickly through his own, forgetting to do so in his quarters.  Finished at last, they headed to the bridge. It was only when they entered the Captain's ready room, that uniforms even occurred to them.  *Everyone* was there, the Captain and Commander at the end, Neelix, Kes and Tuvok on the far side, and B'Elanna on this side, with two empty seats. All of them looked stunned at their appearance, with Janeway and Tuvok the exceptions.  After all the handshaking with Neelix and hugs from Torres and Kes, with nods to Tuvok and Chakotay, they settled down and took their seats. "How long?" B'Elanna jumped in.  "I've *got* to know." They looked at each other and smiled, Harry answering, "About three and a half years." "Four months less than that for me, " Tom amended, softly. Shocked silence greeted the answer.  B'Elanna shook her head. "Oh, guys, I am *so* sorry," she choked out. Tom and Harry looked at her in astonishment, jumping in quickly. "B'Elanna, it's okay, really, it's not *your* fault," started Harry while Tom cut in with, "B'Elanna, we're both fine, we had each other down there." More silence, as B'Elanna arched one delicate eyebrow at them.  They looked at each other and smiled, Harry taking Tom's hand in his own, lacing his fingers through his lover's. "Yeah, we had each other," he confirmed, softly. B'Elanna started in, enthusiastically, with, "Oh, Tom, Harry, I am *so* happy . ." before Chakotay cut her off. "Be that as it may," he started, glowering at Tom.  "That still gives you no excuse in disobeying the *Captain's* direct orders not to leave this ship, Paris . . "  And with that, he was off and running, launching into his tirade about respect, and responsibility, and Tom's duty to the ship and Captain and on, and on. Neelix and Kes looked at each other awkwardly, B'Elanna stared at Chakotay in shock, even the Captain was stunned as she put her hand on his forearm and tried to halt what he was saying. Tom said nothing.  Harry was watching him, not believing he could just sit there and listen to this rant the Commander was dumping on him. Then Harry *really* started listening, and, oh, god . . He put his hand on Tom's arm and squeezed until his lover looked at him. "What?" Tom said softly, completely ignoring Chakotay and everyone else, his eyes only for Harry. "I *hear* it, now," Harry said, just as softly back, though he was having difficulty controlling his anger.  "I hear everything you hear, *everything*." Chakotay had stopped in midstream, aware they weren't even listening to him any more, only to each other. Tom looked at Harry sadly.  "Oh, Sweetheart, I'm sorry," he whispered, real regret in his voice, knowing Harry respected the man. Harry shook his head, trying not to blow up, failing. "How in the *hell* did you put up with *that* for two and a half *years*?" he said, loudly, in the now-silent room, pointing an accusing finger at Chakotay.  "How did you *stand* it?  What the *hell* kept you from slamming him into the nearest *fucking* *bulkhead*?" he finished in a roar, bringing his fist down onto the table with a bang. Several pairs of stunned eyes turned from Harry to Tom. "You did," Tom answered gently, turning to and looking at Harry with eyes filled with open adoration.  "You did, Love." As Harry tried to speak, Tom placed one hand over his lover's clenched fist, the other on his cheek, and continued, softly. "Anytime, every time, it all got to be too much, when I couldn't bear it anymore, when the fuse became so short, I'd thought I'd blow apart, I'd come to *you*, Harry.  You'd talk to me, joke with me," he smiled.  "Laugh with me, play for me, *be* there for me. You helped me seal the cracks before I broke completely.  You kept me whole and *sane*.  You were the only thing I had to keep mind and spirit together.  You were my salvation, Harry. You not only saved my *life*, you saved my soul.  You healed me . . more times than you will *ever* know."  Tom paused, looking into Harry's eyes, completely unaware of anything else. "As much as I loved you then, I *needed* you even more. I never would've made it this far, without you." Harry looked at Tom and turned his face toward the hand gently touching it, kissing the wrist. Tom pulled him closer, leaning his forehead on his lover's strong shoulder, feeling those wonderful, warm arms come around him to hold him, tight. "Sweetheart, I don't think I can do this anymore; I don't think I can take all the crap, not just from him," he said quietly as he waved vaguely in Chakotay's direction, "but from everyone. And I don't think I want to.  I just realized sitting here, listening to him, I've got no guard to put up, anymore, no defenses, no shields, nothing.  Those walls you climbed to get close to me aren't even there, any longer.  I haven't needed them with you, in our Eden, for *years*," he paused, taking a shaky breath.  "I have *never* been this . . open, this vulnerable, before in my life and you are the only one I can trust.  You're the only one I've trusted, for so long, I can't remember any other way."  He straightened up, looking at his lover's eyes again.  "And I am *not* going to let *him* turn me back into the man I was Before; I didn't like that me too much and I'm *not* going back." Harry kept holding him, looking at him, one hand gently stroking the golden hair. "Oh, damn," he said softly, regretfully.  "I've declawed my Cougar." He felt Tom's arms come around him, felt his lover's lips softly touch his neck. "It's not your fault, Sweetheart.  It's to your credit, that you rid me of years worth of baggage, shit I've been carrying around with me all my life.  I am finally free of it and I wouldn't have it otherwise.  I don't need it anymore, not with you.  I love you and you are all I need," Tom finished, softly, startling more than one person around them. "I can't ask you to go back to that.  I wouldn't do that to my worst enemy, certainly not to the man I love, more than *anything*," Harry replied, to the continued startlement of many at the table. "Are you . . thinking what I'm thinking?" Tom asked, even his whisper carrying clearly to everyone else at the table. "What, *fuck* this, let's resign our commissions and go home?" Harry asked, pulling away from Tom to look into his eyes. Tom nodded, looking at Harry.  "It's hard for me to think about this objectively with Chakotay sitting four feet away, *glowering* at me," he said, slightly sarcastic, slightly angry, but still quietly. Harry nodded, saying, "We need time to talk about this; we need time to *think* about this . . " he stopped, thinking. "Captain," he said, finally acknowledging her presence.  "Give us five minutes, in Voyager time.  If B'Elanna can find us easily again, give us five minutes.  It'll be three, maybe four days for us to work this through, please." B'Elanna interjected, "Captain, I can find them again easily, as long as they stay in one place for a few hours, their time, so I can get a fix." "We'll be at the cabin, same as last time," Harry assured her. Janeway was in a quandary, but saw no other solution.  "No one thought to ask you if you *wanted* to come back," she said gently.  "You deserve the right to make that decision for yourselves, both of you.  Go ahead, get whatever you need, you have your five minutes." Tom and Harry looked at each other, smiling, and stood. "Everything we need is on the planet," Tom said.  "Thank you, Captain." Harry echoed his thanks and Janeway nodded.  As the two of them left together, she heard herself mulling over Tom's words, and sincerely hoped that not *everything* they needed was on the planet.  She ran her hands over her face, and sighed.  She turned to look at Chakotay, shaking her head.  He looked like someone had parked a shuttle on top of him, stunned, dismayed, ashamed.  Good.  If they ever came back, there had better not be another outburst like the one like started all this. She knew it wasn't fair to blame him, solely.  If it hadn't been this, something else might have been the trigger. She was amazed at the changes, so evident, now, in both of them. Harry's outrage, like nothing she had *ever* seen before. Tom's calm and woundedness; gods, she hurt for him. She couldn't get over it, any of it. A quick look around the table, still in the pall cast over it, told her she was not the only one. Everyone seemed stunned, except Tuvok, who looked thoughtful, even pensive.  B'Elanna looked livid, angry enough to grind glass with her teeth, as she glared at Chakotay.  Kes simply sat waiting, patiently, and Neelix fidgeted.  Finally, he spoke. "I . . I'm sure . . they'll be back . . surely," he stammered, looking from one face to the next for reassurance. Janeway sighed again, drawing his attention to her. "We can only wait, Neelix, and hope for the best," she said carefully.  He sighed, and sat back, arms crossed over his chest.  She was right.  All they could do was wait.                  --------------------------- Tom and Harry just looked at one another after returning to the planet's surface.  Tom, being the sentimentalist he was, had both blankets from his own bed slung over his arm, to "christen" here, in the only home they had known as lovers.  Harry, being the practical one, had a trio of devices to help boost the transporter signal over a larger area; there were a lot of things they'd be taking back with them, if they returned.  He placed them on the table and went over to Tom.  Taking the blankets off his arm, he tossed them onto the end of the mattress.  He reached for both of his lover's hands and together they walked the few steps to their bed and paused, just to look at each other.  Tom started to slowly undo the dark gray shirt of his that Harry looked so damn good in, and glanced down at his hands to grimace. "What's wrong?" Harry asked him, softly. "This is so ridiculous," Tom fumed. "My hands are shaking, like they've never undressed you before.  Like this was our first time, again," he finished, looking at Harry, a sad, wry grin on his face. "So, let it be our first time, *again*," Harry answered.  "I feel nervous, too; I don't know why, I don't care.  Make love with me, Cougar. For the first time, all over again, please, make love with me," he ended in a whisper, moving closer to his lover. He reached out a careful hand and touched Tom, on the chest, right over his heart.  Tom inhaled sharply, as though that gentle touch had burned him. It *was* burning him; he could feel the heat in Harry's hand through the shirt he wore, searing the heart he didn't think could beat without Harry's to show it how. He closed his eyes, swaying slightly in the still cabin.  He reached out with shaking fingers to touch Harry, just the fingertips making contact, as he caressed that long throat, and moved to the 'V' of the shirt.  He began to undo it, taking his time, watching Harry watch him, the beautiful dark eyes slightly closed, his full, warm lips parted.  Tom ran his thumb over the bottom one and gasped again to feel Harry's tongue greet it and run along it, once, twice. Tom's eyes were nearly as dark as his shirt and slightly glazed, his breath coming quickly, unevenly.  Harry loved to see him like this, loving even more that no one else *ever* got to see him like this.  Harry looked him in the eye, leaned down slightly, opened his mouth just a little more, and closed it around Tom's finger, sucking gently, nibbling lightly with his teeth. Tom had known it was coming, but the knowledge didn't keep Harry's response from rocking him to his core.  He felt his knees weaken and knew he'd be falling to them, soon, if they didn't sit down. Harry took Tom's hand and, releasing the thumb, began running his tongue around the other fingers, pulling each one into his mouth, sucking it before moving on to the next.  He kissed the palm, and brought it to his own chest, placing it over his heart. "Yours, still," he whispered softly, seeing those beautiful blue eyes fill with tears. Tom took Harry's hand in his own and kissed the back of it, the wrist, and finally the palm, placing it on his chest, over his own rapidly beating heart. "Yours, Love," he whispered huskily.  "Still, always, and forever." Harry felt his own eyes filling, as he moved closer to his lover and put his arms around him, holding him, cherishing him. He heard Tom sob, once, and felt him begin to slide down to his knees.  He went with him, not letting go for an instant.  He felt Tom's arms come around him, holding him tightly, and felt his lover's body shake with emotion, heard another sob torn from his lips, and moved one hand up to hold the back of the golden head. He felt his own tears begin, softly, not bothering to hide them from his lover, as they leaned against the bed, held each other, and cried. They pulled apart at last, gently brushing tears from each other's faces. Home didn't quite feel the same, anymore, and they both knew it. It felt as though they were hiding from their lives, now, not starting a new one, together.  They looked at each other and smiled, sadly. "I know you're thinking the same thing I am," Harry said. "You're good at that." "Yeah," Tom sighed.  "We have to go back, but damned if I know what I'm going to do when we return.  The only thing I've flown for these last few years, is you." Harry laughed.  "I know," he said, also sighing.  "I can barely remember Ops.  I don't know if I *want* to do that, anymore." "So don't," Tom replied, trying not to panic at the thought of a bridge without Harry; he might not be back at the conn, himself. "Try botany, if you want to; get together with Kes and grow new and wonderful things from all the seeds and cuttings we'll be bringing back with us.  Do whatever makes you happy; the Captain will be bending over backwards to be flexible for us, you know she will." Harry nodded, smiling, then frowned.  "So, what are you going to do?  You can't tell me you've forgotten how to be the pilot you are, I won't buy it. You're too damn good, you *are*," he emphasized as Tom shook his head. "You'll be back at the helm in a couple of weeks after some sims on the holodeck, I know you." Tom was still shaking his head.  "The bridge will be a very different place without you.  Harry, I haven't let you out of my sight in more than three years.  I don't know how it's going to be, looking back at Ops and not seeing you there.  We'll see," he finished, noticing his lover's concern. "We'll just have to wait and see." He begin where he had left off, undoing Harry's shirt, as Harry's fingers came to make short work of his own.  They shrugged them both off, tossing them onto the floor in front of them, then kicked off the shoes and socks.  They helped each other stand and finished undressing one another. Tom took a large lock of his lover's long black hair and, holding the ends in his fingertips like a paintbrush, began caressing Harry's chest with it. Tom smiled as the man sighed and closed his eyes. "I am going to miss this," he said softly, caressing the hair. Harry opened his eyes, looking startled. "Don't tell me the *hair* is a consideration," he said in disbelief. "All right, I *won't*," Tom replied, smiling at the incredulity on Harry's face. "I don't believe you," Harry said, shaking his head slowly.  "The things you think about."  He stopped, and smiled.  "I'll miss yours, too, Cougar," he said, softly, running a hand over it.  "I'll miss yours, too. Maybe the Captain will let us keep it," he concluded, hopefully. Tom snorted and Harry sighed.  "Come on," Tom whispered softly, pulling Harry down onto the bed with him. "Lay with me. I want to love you, I *need* to love you, Harry."  Tom met his lover's lips with his own, arms going around each other again. They were a perfect fit, the perfect size for one another, the perfect match, made in heaven.   Harry groaned into Tom's mouth, moved on top of him, his arms resting on either side of his lover's head. These weren't the usual half-starved searing kisses that normally rocked his insides for him, these were the long, soft, slow ones that rearranged his gray matter. He felt Tom's hands splay onto his back, one going into his hair, to tangle in it, the other caressing his back lightly, from neck to ass, until he shivered. He could do this for hours and had, before, spent long nights just kissing, breathing each other's breath, bodies wrapped around one another.  It was wonderful, but he needed more, now.   Right about the time he began moving slowly on Tom, his lover moved his head to kiss and nuzzle his neck, stopping at that spot right below his ear, the one that always made his breathing quicken.  He felt his lover's tongue move slowly around his ear, felt the gentle teeth nibble on the lobe, felt Tom's body rise to meet and move against his own.  Felt those sure hands running all over him, coaxing response after response out of him, groan upon groan.  He opened his eyes to see Tom looking up at him, those eyes so dark with quiet, intense, arousal, felt Tom moving his knees up, felt their erections touch each other. He moaned softly when he heard Tom's voice, in a whisper, invite him inside.  That was an invitation he would never turn down.  He moved up slightly, saw Tom reach under the pillow they still shared, bring out a small tube.  He smiled, looking at the man below him with love in his eyes.    "Just stopped to get the blankets, huh?" he teased, leaning down to kiss Tom.  "Genius." Tom shrugged.  "Thought it might come in handy," he said in a low voice.  "No, let me," he halted Harry when he reached for it, flipping the top up and squeezing some out onto his fingertips. He gently caressed his lover's hard cock, slicking the entire length of it, loved hearing Harry gasp and moan under his fingers. "Enough," Harry sighed.  As Tom tossed the tube aside, Harry placed himself carefully outside the opening, bringing his lover's long legs over his shoulders, running his hands along the thighs, before he pushed forward, easily thrusting into Tom.  He saw the man's back arch to take him even further inside and he pulled out part way, then slid in again. "Oh, I love this," he groaned, thrusting steadily into the beautiful body rising to meet his own.  "I will *never* get enough of this." "I know," Tom answered, breathlessly, groaning.  "I won't either, *ever*." Harry reached down to take his lover's cock in his hand, began slowly caressing and pumping the length of it, feeling it throb beneath his fingers.   Tom threw his head back and growled, sending a tingle through Harry as he heard it. "That's it, there's my Cougar," he whispered roughly, speeding up his thrusts, going a little deeper with each one. "*Yesss*," Tom ground out, feeling the increase in tempo and strength, clenching himself around Harry, who moaned, loudly, feeling it all the way along his cock. Tom ran his hand up the arm braced next to his side, feeling Harry tremble, so nearly there.  "Yes, Love, like that . . take me there, please . . come in me," he groaned, hearing Harry moaning, continuously, now, so close to the end. "I love you, Cougar . . I love you . . so much," Harry barely finished saying before he felt himself let go, heard the cry torn from his throat as he emptied himself into Tom, collapsing onto his chest. He felt Tom's legs slide off of him and come to rest on either side of him, felt his lover's still-hard cock pulsing beneath him. He looked up at Tom and found his eyes still on him, felt one hand move up to caress his hair, as his lover sighed and smiled.  He smiled back and moved down slightly to lick Tom's length, hearing him gasp his name.  He took the man's cock into his mouth, swirling around the head with his tongue, feeling Tom jump and twitch and moan under him. "Harry," Tom groaned out the word, not believing his love was going down on him so soon after his own orgasm, totally helpless to try and stop him. Gods, that mouth. What it was going to him was probably illegal on a dozen different worlds.  And if it wasn't, it should be.  He felt Harry's hand tighten around him, felt his mouth speed up, oh, it wasn't going to take long.  He glanced down to see his lover watching him react, eyes glowing. "Yes, Love, *yes*," he moaned, feeling his eyes close, knowing Harry was still watching him, wanting him to come.  He felt the pace pick up a little more, then felt his head explode and, arching his back, came hard into Harry's mouth with a roar, then came again, right on the heels of the first one.  He opened his eyes upon returning to find Harry in his arms, grinning at him. He grinned weakly back and kissed him, tasting himself on his lover's tongue.  Harry reached down and grabbed the two new blankets, tossing them over both of them, as they snuggled into the haven of each other's arms, and fell asleep.                    ------------------------ To say that B'Elanna was angry was a major understatement, she was so far beyond *livid*, she didn't know if she could find her way *back* to being just angry.  She glared at Chakotay, who wouldn't meet her eyes. "Coward," she hissed at him, drawing several startled looks, as he flinched from the truth of it.  "You waited all of, what?  An hour? Before reaming that man a new orifice?"  She leapt up and began pacing in front of the door, stopping to bring both fists down onto the table, making everyone except Tuvok jump. "I am *amazed* you managed to wait *that* long.  Why didn't you just go down to Sickbay and let him have it then?  Huh?" She resumed pacing in the confined area, wrapping her arms around herself, tightly.  "You drove Harry to language I have *never* heard him use, and did you see the look in his eyes? *DID YOU*?" she roared across the table at Chakotay.  "How could you *do* that to him, he *respected* you, *idolized* you . ." "Paris . ." Chakotay choked out, when B'Elanna rounded on him, again. "*Tom* was his friend, his best friend, you were his *hero*, you idiot.  He watched you, constantly, observing, learning.  He told me, once, how much he admired you, your calm, your strength, your dignity, everything.  How *could* you?  What the *hell* did Tom Paris ever do to you, besides save your miserable neck?" B'Elanna paused.  "Or is that why you ran him off the ship, you can't *stand* the thought that you owe him your *life*?" she finished in a shout, before Janeway raised her hand, trying to calm B'Elanna. "This isn't helping, B'Elanna," she started gently, firmly, when Torres rounded on her. "Captain, how could you just let him *do* that?" she asked, pleadingly.  "How could you let him do that to Tom?  Do you realize that our best chance at getting home, the best *pilot* any of us has ever seen, is now on the surface of a planet he'll be dead of old age on in a few months?  He may not come back, why the hell would he want to?  He called it *Eden*, for Kahles' sake, it is *home* to them, paradise.  Why would either one of them *want* to come back?" she ended, so disgusted with her First Officer, she couldn't even look at him. "Torres," Chakotay started softly, not wanting her to get going again, no matter how much he deserved it, "Paris may not be the pilot he was, it's been years . ." "*BULLSHIT*," B'Elanna roared.  Janeway started to cut her off, to say that this had gone on long enough, but a hand on her arm halted her. Chakotay's.  Very well, if he wanted to hear more of this or, in penance, needed to, she wouldn't interrupt the Chief Engineer. "That man flies like the rest of us walk and breathe, Chakotay, and you *know* it; it's second nature to him, he doesn't even have to *think* about it.  How many times have you seen it, the way he practically hooks himself up to the ship, becomes an extension of Voyager, flinches when she's hit, like he can *feel* the blows impact.  It's because he *can*, it's what he does, he's a *pilot*, and we cannot get home without him." She finally ran out of steam, and rage, and fell into her seat, spent.  Quiet descended around the table, not much longer to wait, now, regardless.                    ----------------------- Harry and Tom had made love in every place they could think of, where they had ever done it.  They knew they were saying goodbye to the planet, their first home together, but not their last.  Voyager would be home, now, for both of them, likely for the rest of their lives.   They were packing up finally, reloading the satchels that Tom had brought so long ago, making sure the cuttings of various plants, that wouldn't breed true from seed, didn't get damaged; stashing small parcels of seeds for their favorite plants, in amongst the clothing.  They grabbed the medkits and took a last, long look around, tears in both their eyes, saying goodbye to this place that had nurtured them as they had nurtured one another and kept them warm, and safe, and happy. Harry turned on the beacons and they stood with all they possessed, waiting for Voyager.  Tom leaned down to kiss Harry, mindful of the clarinet in his hand.  They felt the transporter bring them back aboard the ship as their arms came around each other.  Tom knew they were back on board, but he couldn't seem to stop, Harry either.  Finally, when they came up for air and parted, they saw a rather crowded transporter room, and looked at one another and laughed, wiping tears away, again. B'Elanna ran forward, to throw her arms around them both and hug them until they were breathless.  She stepped back to see the eyes full of tears and knew how hard it was for them to leave.  "Oh, you had me scared, talk about the longest five minutes of my *life*.  I'm so glad you decided to come back to us, we all are," she finished, motioning vaguely behind her with one hand. The Captain stood there, with Kes, and Neelix, and Tuvok. The Commander was nowhere in sight. "So," she said, clearing past the lump in her throat, with a wicked gleam in her eyes.  "Whose quarters does all this stuff go in?" Harry and Tom looked at one another, pointed to the other, and said, "His." Everyone, except Tuvok, laughed.  "You have the larger quarters," Harry protested, to Tom's reply of, "Yes, but *you* have the bigger bed."  Again, everyone laughed, as Harry reasoned, "So, we move my bed into your quarters." "Ours," breathed Tom, leaning in again to kiss Harry, regulations be damned.  "Ours," answered Harry, breathlessly, laughing.  Tom handed the two medkits to Tuvok, who said he would see them safely back to where they belonged and took custody of the three phasers, as well, the one that Harry had beamed down with, originally, and the two that Tom brought, later. Harry gave Kes one of the crates filled with dirt and small plants and indicated the other four around them.   "Boy, are *you* going to be awfully busy." he said into her glowing face, as she laughed delightedly.  "We have seeds, too, to a few dozen others; we'll get them out when we unpack everything." "Take your time," Kes said, in her unusual soft voice. "These will keep me very busy for awhile."  She and Neelix headed down to the aeroponics bay, after she took a second crate and Neelix got the other three. That left just B'Elanna and the Captain.  Tom motioned Harry on, so he and Torres grabbed his satchel, clarinet, and the three tricorders, and headed out, chattering excitedly about everything under the sun.  Tom paused and looked at the Captain. "I know what I did was so wrong, there aren't words enough to apologize.  I'm sorry I had to disobey you, if there had been *any* other way . ." Tom trailed off seeing the Captain looking at him with understanding and compassion in her eyes.  "I just couldn't leave him down there, Captain.  I loved him so much, I just couldn't *make* myself do that to him." Janeway felt the tears gathering in her own eyes as she watched Tom's fill. She understood.  She had to and she couldn't really blame him, not really. "I know, Tom," she said in a husky voice.  "I know.  Gods, three and a half years.  I don't even want to think of him being all alone for that amount of time; it scares the hell out of me. And what you did *was* wrong, but I can't find it in me to fault your decision, or your compassion," she finished as she cleared her throat. "I will accept, gladly, whatever punishment you see fit to give me," he promised as she shook her head.    "Nothing comes to mind, Tom.  You two have been through so much, I can't even begin to imagine.  You're not going to be on the bridge, anyway, for a while, you *or* Harry, until you get back into the routine. Let me just take you off active duty for a couple of weeks, that will give you both the time you need to settle in, get reacquainted with everything and everyone.  Find out what you both want to do."  She paused, then said with a firm smile, "Make no mistake, I need you back at the helm, flying my ship.  But, take the time you need, find out if you *want* to be back there.  Please, think carefully," she finished, wryly. "It will take some time, Captain, I don't know if I'm still the hotshot I was three years ago," he laughed with her. "But I *will* find out, I promise you," he concluded with determination. Good enough for her and she nodded.  "I've got to get back to the bridge.  Tom," she paused on her way out of the transporter room, "Chakotay may find his way to you, in the next few days, to apologize, perhaps, or talk.  Try to be . . forgiving, if you can." And with that, she decisively left the room. Tom sighed.  Forgiving.  Oh, well, he'd see how it went, first, see if Chakotay would come to him, hat in hand, to apologize, or, failing that, explain.  He'd just have to wait and see. Squaring his shoulders, he set off with the remaining satchel, heading to his quarters, his and Harry's quarters, he amended, and the start of a new life together.                   -------------------------- Harry was headed to the holodeck, anyway, to find Tom, when B'Elanna's voice came over his comm badge. "Torres to Kim," she barked. "Kim here, what's the matter, B'Elanna?" "Harry, Tom has locked himself onto the holodeck, into some battle simulation, and I can't get him out.  His security system just keeps running around itself, in an infinite loop, and I can't stop it, or shut down the holodeck.  Harry, he's disengaged the safeties," B'Elanna finished, worriedly, as Harry barked he was on his way.   raged B'Elanna, as she kicked the door to the holodeck.  She looked up to see the Captain, Commander, and Tuvok coming from one direction, while she heard what she knew to be Harry's running footsteps, from the other.  They all got to her at about the same time. "Status, Torres," Janeway barked. B'Elanna sighed, "He's still in there, Captain, and I can't get him out. He's not answering his comm badge." "What program is the Lieutenant currently running?" Tuvok inquired, heading for the panel by the door. "Something called 'KCVR-7'," Torres replied.  "He started at 'KCVR-4' if that means anything to you."  She looked around to see the others shaking their heads. Chakotay ordered the computer to unlock the holodeck, giving his authorization, but the computer denied him access.  He turned around to see Janeway with her eyebrows almost to her hair line.  He shrugged. "Seems that Paris's computer security skills are still in top shape," he muttered, wryly. "Let me try," Harry offered, stepping up to the panel.  He barked a command at the computer, followed by Tom's sixty-six character personal security code, and the doors opened. Everybody stared at him and he grinned, "Took me weeks to memorize that bloody thing." Even Chakotay chuckled at that, as they all stepped through the doors, which seemed to heading out of the Captain's ready room onto the bridge.  They stopped in their tracks and stared. The bridge was a war zone, smoke everywhere and debris littering the floor. On the viewscreen they saw three ships, one Vidiian, one Kazon, and . . Romulan, for crying out loud?  The holographic Captain was barking out orders, with the rest of the holographic crew struggling to follow her commands.  All of them were injured, but only Tom's wounds were real and he was a bloody mess. Cuts and scrapes all over his face, uniform sleeve torn, with an obviously broken arm leaning on the console, one deep gash, following his ribs, that went from his backbone to underneath his arm, and one leg, twisted in such a way that everyone looking knew it had to be broken, as well.    Janeway looked at him horrified, one hand covering her mouth, as she met Harry's eyes, saw him flinch as he looked at the man he loved.  Tom didn't realize that members of the bridge crew had just become redundant, he was still flying, swooping up tight, beneath the Kazon ship, giving Tuvok an opportunity to fire. The holographic Vulcan missed, while the real one's lips compressed together slightly.   "Come on, Tuvok, try it again," Tom barked, as he moved Voyager into position again, taking another hit from the Vidiian ship.  "*Ouch*, you bastards," he roared at the screen, not noticing the real Tuvok step from behind Chakotay and make his way to his station, quietly deleting his character and replacing him. B'Elanna and Harry bounded to their posts and also deleted their counterparts, taking over their normal duties, as Tuvok fired and the Kazon ship exploded into fragments.   Janeway looked at Chakotay and shrugged, whispering, "We *could* all use the practice," as she headed for her chair. Chakotay grabbed her arm, halting her.  "Captain, he's turned the *safeties* off," he started, as Janeway nodded and, removing her arm from the Commander's grasp, took her seat, deleting her holographic counterpart. Chakotay sighed, glared at Paris's back and made his way carefully around the debris to his own post. He was slightly amazed that the 'First Officer' was still alive, as he replaced him, thinking uncharitably that Paris probably would have had *him* killed off first. Tom banked around the front of the Romulan ship, cutting off abruptly when the Vidiians fired again, missing Voyager altogether, and hitting the Romulans a blow to their warp core. He then flew the ship around the exploding Romulan ship, using it for cover as he came up again to give Tuvok time to fire on the Vidiians.  With a direct hit, the last enemy ship scattered into fragments and everyone breathed a sigh of relief, until Paris barked out, "Level 8," and they were off again.   thought Janeway .  Sure enough, two Cardassians, with two each of the Kazon, Vidiians, and Romulans, began firing on Voyager the instant the 'bridge' had 'repaired' itself from the last attack. "Red alert.  Status," she barked to Torres, sensor reports streaming in on the eight enemy ships.  As Torres reported to Janeway, Chakotay watched Tom.  He didn't seem to be aware of his own injuries, at all, and Chakotay was willing to bet the rasping sounds he heard were courtesy of a punctured lung.  He hands flew over the console, as the ship took another hit, and he heard Paris groan, cursing.   Chakotay thought wonderingly, as he saw the console next to Tom explode, knocking him out of his chair.  Chakotay moved forward to help him back into it, but Tom was already on his way, looking up at Chakotay through narrowed eyes.   "I've got it, Commander," he ground out before Voyager was hit again and his attention returned to flying. Tuvok got off a couple of great shots, wiping out one of the Vidiian ships, whose wreckage flew into one of the Cardassians, damaging it, as Tuvok sent another shot after it and it exploded.  Two down, six to go.    Tom came up hard underneath the Kazon ships, using them for cover as Tuvok got off a couple more shots, destroying one. Tom gasped again when Voyager got hit by the remaining Cardassian ship, and Tuvok sent off a volley, damaging it, badly, as well as one of the Romulan ships.  Paris went below the Cardassian ship, flying upside down as Tuvok sent off a shot, setting a chain reaction in motion that exploded it above them as he pulled up hard and turned sharply, avoiding the remaining Vidiian ship that was firing on them, watching as the shot hit home on the Romulan ship. Five down, three to go. Chakotay wondered what the hell was keeping Tom vertical, this was only their *second* foray, it was his *fifth*.  He also knew that if he interfered, Paris would resent the hell out of him for it, so he held his seat, and his tongue, and continued to watch the man in action.  Tom had Voyager twisting and turning in ways that seemingly defied the laws of physics, Tuvok firing on the Kazon and Romulan ships, as the Vidiian got off another shot that hit Voyager, causing Tom to slam into his console, gasping. Chakotay cringed; that *had* to have hurt like hell. "Captain, we're venting plasma," B'Elanna began, but before Janeway could say anything, Paris barked out an order to vent barconite as well. B'Elanna looked to Janeway, who ordered her to do it, and Torres' fingers flew to make it so.  Tom headed right for the Vidiian ship, then banked off towards the Kazon, telling Tuvok not to fire yet and for B'Elanna to end the barconite emission.  He yelled for phaser fire and Tuvok complied, watching as the phasers ignited the barconite and torched the Kazon ship, frying its circuitry, and the Vidiian ship, overloading their weapons banks.  As the Romulan ship flew through the unavoidable cloud of fiery plasma, Tuvok's aim was once again true, destroying both the Vidiians and the Kazon with another shot each.  One more shot to the Romulans, and the sky was clear.    Chakotay wondered if Paris would give up yet, when Harry came down the ramp at full speed before Tom could say a word, still slumped over the console.   "Oh, no, you don't," he whispered, kneeling next to Tom.  "No more for you, not today.  *Damn*," he groaned, "what the *hell* were you thinking?" Tom looked around, realizing for the first time that the crew was real.  He hadn't programmed Harry in civilian clothes, and sure as hell hadn't programmed that hair, either.  He looked at him in dazed astonishment, taking Harry's cheek in his hand. "I had to know," he rasped, everyone moving closer so they could hear him.  "It's not enough just to be able to *fly* Voyager.  I need to know that I can *keep* flying, when things get rough, no matter how knocked around I get," he stopped, seeing the understanding on his lover's face. "But you, are you out of your mind?" He looked around at all of them, saying, "Are you *all* out of your minds? The damn safeties were *off*," and then he had to stop for coughing on the blood seeping into his lung.   Harry's arms came around him, gently, as he hit his comm badge, barking, "Two to beam directly to Sickbay." As they shimmered out of sight, B'Elanna stepped forward, her eyes shining.  "That was the most fun I've had in quite a while," she beamed into their bemused faces and turned to leave the holodeck, humming, heading for Sickbay to find their masochistic pilot and thank him for a lovely afternoon.  Tuvok's voice stopped her, for a moment. "I must confess, that I, too, found the simulation to be quite stimulating.  It is a testament to Lieutenant Paris's ability, that he was able to achieve such a high degree of realism in this program."  And with that, Tuvok headed for the door. Janeway turned to her Commander and grinned.  "I wonder how many levels to this 'KCVR' simulation there are." Chakotay shuddered.  "I really don't think I want to know, Captain." Janeway watched as B'Elanna left after Tuvok and sighed.  "I think Mr. Paris will be ready for duty stations, as soon as the Doctor heals his injuries and he makes a full recovery.  I was keeping an eye on our Ensign, during all of that, as well.  He certainly remembers his way around Ops. I'm looking forward to having them both back on the bridge, where they belong."  She smiled at Chakotay, quietly delighted to see him nodding in agreement. "As am I, Captain," he said, looking thoughtfully at Paris's chair. "As am I."                      ----------------------- Harry looked on, worriedly, as the Doctor and Kes tended to Tom's injuries.  Kes had assured him that all would be well, but he was still worried and somewhat angry.  He understood Tom's reasons only too well, his love didn't like doing anything he wasn't the best he could be at, but *still*.  He sighed as the Doctor finished and motioned him over to the biobed. "I've taken care of Mr. Paris's injuries and he's going to be fine, Ensign," the Doctor said smugly, as Harry stepped forward to take Tom's hand in his. They simply waited, looking at him, until he cleared his throat and stepped aside, saying, "I'll leave you two alone, now. Lieutenant, you may leave for your quarters at your discretion." Harry leaned down to kiss Tom on his recently healed eyebrow. "Don't you ever do this without me, again, do you hear me? Next time, I want to be there."  Before Tom could reply, they heard B'Elanna's voice chime in. "I want to be there, too.  That was the most fun I've had in *too* long," she said cheerily, as she came over and kissed an astonished Tom right on the lips, not noticing Harry stiffen next to her. "Thank you, you did a *hell* of a great job, programming *and* piloting."  As Tom stammered his thanks, she waved them aside.  "Seriously, I want to be there, if you decide to run through it, again." "You will be, both of you, I promise," Tom said, still stunned from her kiss, too stunned to see the look on Harry's face. "Next time, it'll be even better," he finished with a cocky tone in his voice, lacing his fingers behind his head.  B'Elanna laughed merrily and leaned in close. "You'll have to go to some lengths to top this, Paris," she whispered huskily, as he laughed.  "I look forward to it.  Take care of yourself, you're the best pilot we have," she finished with another kiss, this one on the cheek, as she swept out of Sickbay in a wonderful mood. Harry felt like someone had socked him in the stomach. B'Elanna.  He should've realized.  And he knew Tom had feelings for her, too, he'd told him, ages ago.  He knew Tom loved him, at least he thought he knew Tom loved him, but now, suddenly, there were all these choices around, choices that hadn't been there on the planet.  He suddenly felt sick, but pasted a smile on his face as Tom's head came around from watching B'Elanna sail out the door. "Amazing, isn't she?  Only B'Elanna would consider a combat simulation to be a recreational program," he laughed, then stopped as he looked up at Harry.  "Hey, you okay?" Harry quickly nodded.  "I'm still worried about you, you scared me to death," he covered quickly, then, as Tom looked contrite, let him off the hook. "Next time . ." he started, only to have Tom cut him off. "I know, next time you want to be there." Tom finished for him, not noticing, as he sat up, that his lover's attention was still on the door B'Elanna had left through. Harry thought, aware of how *demonstrative* B'Elanna got after giving the bad guys a good ass-kicking.   He helped Tom off the biobed and the two of them made their way slowly to their quarters. As soon as the doors closed behind them, Tom was all over Harry, who tried to hold him off, protesting. "You have got to be kidding me," he began, glaring at Tom. "The Doctor said it would take you about three days to heal completely." "I don't give a damn, I *need* to touch you, love you, be inside you.  Combat always gets my body into overdrive," Tom growled, feeling Harry shudder. Harry thought, darkly, as Tom's arms came around him and his lips descended on his, hard and hot and furious.  All thoughts of B'Elanna fled as he felt Tom's erection moving against his own. He pulled away, reluctantly. "If we are going to do this, we're doing it carefully," he insisted, as Tom groaned.  "I don't want to hear it, not until the ribs are *totally* healed, and the leg, and the arm . ." Harry was abruptly cut off as Tom claimed his mouth, again, giving in to his lover's demands. In a startlingly short amount of time, they were both naked and on the bed, Tom on top, smothering Harry in kisses, writhing against him. Harry kept having to remind himself to be careful, when all he really wanted was to throw Tom on his back and fuck him 'til breakfast.  Slowly, he kept thinking, gently, as Tom slithered down his torso and engulfed his cock with his mouth. Harry screamed and bucked upward, feeling Tom holding onto his hips with both hands, driving him mad with that hot mouth and tongue.  Harry was thrashing uncontrollably under the assault, groaning, his hands clenching into Tom's hair, crying out his need.  His lover rode the storm out, waiting until Harry was nearly sobbing before really turning it on, hard and fast. Harry moaned, then finally screamed again, his face tight with the power of his orgasm as it tore through him, leaving him shaking in his lover's arms. Tom was grinning at him, easily seen in the light of the room. They still had a hard time, after three years of perpetual daylight, seeing with the lights on low.  Not that they really cared, they loved watching each other, still, after all this time. Harry was panting so hard, he thought his chest would burst. "Oh, *you*," he groaned, as Tom laughed delightedly.    "One for you, now it's *my* turn," Tom snarled in Harry's ear, licking and nibbling his way down Harry's chest, sucking hard on the nipples, biting them with his teeth until Harry gasped.  He moved his lover gently onto his stomach and began to ready him, caressing liberal amounts of lubricant into him and onto his own cock.  He pulled Harry onto his hands and knees and in one swift thrust, entered him. They both gasped aloud, as Harry began moving back into Tom, hard, and Tom came forward, harder, into Harry.  They quickly reached a frenzied pace, Tom paying no attention to the weight on his leg, or arm, or the way his own gasping hurt his ribs.  He had to have Harry, hard, and now. He leaned forward to bite his lover's shoulderblade, gnawing roughly on the back of his neck, his fingers playing with Harry's nipples, nails drawing down the man's chest, all of it, everything at once, until Harry was moving even harder back into him with mindless need.  Tom reached forward and, finding his lover hard again, began jerking him off roughly and fast, in time to his own thrusts. He saw Harry throw his head back, heard him howl, as he came again, shooting over Tom's hand and onto the bed.  The clenching muscles around his cock were all Tom needed to bring him off, and he came with a moaning roar, emptying himself into Harry.  He collapsed next to him, on his side, gasping as he fell onto the throbbing ribs.  He felt Harry's arms come around him, felt his lover's breath in his ear. "You okay?" Harry whispered, out of breath, seeing Tom's grimace of pain, next to him. "Yeah," Tom groaned, moving onto his back with another groan, trying to get his wind back.  "I'll be fine, quit worrying," he finished gently, seeing Harry's eyes filled with concern, before he leaned down to kiss Tom gently on the lips. "I'm not going to touch you for the next three days, I swear to *God* I'm not," Harry vowed, angry that it had gotten so out of hand. "Don't you think that's a little extreme?" Tom asked, smiling softly. "No, you're still *injured*, for crying out loud," Harry said loudly, not knowing how he was going to keep him hands off Tom for three days, but determined to let the man heal before they attempted this again. Tom laughed.  "Oh, I love you for being worried about me, really I do, thank you," he said, still smiling.  "You'll *never* last that long," he ended with a knowing grin, as Harry thumped him gently in the shoulder, then pulled him in for another kiss. "Bet me, Cougar," Harry replied fondly, yet crossly, pulling the blankets over the two of them, as they settled into each other's arms. "Bet me." Tom snuggled into him, mindful, belatedly, of his injuries, as they dimmed the lights slightly and fell asleep.                    ------------------------ Tom was, frankly, amazed at Harry's self-control.  The three day imposed abstinence was over tonight and he had something a little different planned to welcome his lover back. The last three days had been great, though.  They had all spent as much time as possible as the holodeck, going through simulations and, even though B'Elanna and Harry had *insisted* on leaving the safeties on, it had been time well spent.  Tom was once again confident in his ability to fly Voyager and Harry was perfectly at ease at Ops, as well. Harry was *not* perfectly at ease with Tom and B'Elanna's newfound camaraderie.  They seemed to have their heads together every time he turned around and it was starting to drive him nuts.  The comments he overheard from some of the crew didn't help matters any.  Some people had apparently been willing to try to get Tom away from him, but backed off immediately now that B'Elanna was around.  Harry didn't realize they were suddenly 'hands-off' for his sake, because B'Elanna had threatened to throw anyone who messed with their relationship into the warp core.  He felt they thought she had staked her claim, when nothing could be further from the truth. He and Tom had been sharing a passionate kiss, one evening, in Sandrine's, when he noticed B'Elanna on the other side of the table.  His sharp comment about the line forming to the left had been laughed at gaily, by both B'Elanna and Tom.  Neither seemed to notice he wasn't entirely kidding.  He didn't get it; Tom was still as affectionate as always, still as hungry as ever, but Harry was waiting for the ax to fall, anyway.  He couldn't help it. Now he was heading back to their quarters, for some quality time with Tom, if he was up to it; it was early in the evening, yet. He entered to find all the lights off, the place in total darkness. Even the windows were blacked out.  His barked command for lights accomplished nothing.  The door had closed behind him and he suddenly got the feeling he wasn't alone. A soft snarl from over his shoulder, right behind his ear, made him yelp and he spun around. "Tom?" he asked softly, feeling like an idiot.  Of course, it had to be Tom, who the hell else *could* it be?  Another snarl from his opposite side had him spinning in that direction, only to encounter nothing again.  He had the feeling he was being stalked, no, he *was* being stalked, there was no doubt about it. He heard another growl as a tongue swiped at his ear.  Harry couldn't hear a sound, couldn't hear Tom moving around him, couldn't even be sure which direction the next noise would come from. He shivered.  A set of teeth sank into his throat, dropping him to his knees, another growl, low and soft, making his skin crawl, as he tried to reach out to put his arms around his lover.  Nothing. Reaching out blindly, he found the sofa and knew, sort of, where the bed was, so he headed in that direction after climbing shakily to his feet. He didn't know how the man could see in the total darkness, as he made his way slowly to the bed, only to have something grab him from the front and swiftly shred his shirt off of him, then retreat.  He kicked his shoes off, with enough force to hear them hit the wall, as he heard another soft growl in his ear.  He groaned at the sound and froze, feeling what had to be his lover's hands come around him to undo his slacks and pull them down.  He stepped out of them, catching them with his foot, and sent them sailing in the general direction his shoes had taken.    Now he was totally naked, still blind, and unbelievably turned on. He moved around slowly, feeling the bed beneath his hands.  He heard another snarl, from below him, as teeth bit not too softly into his thigh and he was forced back onto the bed. He reached up to try to grab hold of Tom and once again encountered only air.  *Damn* the man. He felt a tongue give his hard cock a long lick, from the head to the root, as he heard another growl vibrate between his legs.  He moaned uncontrollably, shuddering with arousal, as he felt his lover's body slowly crawl up his own, licking roughly as he went, before teeth came together in his neck again, making him cry out. He finally got a hold of Tom, partly surprised to encounter bare skin where he had almost expected to find fur.  He felt Tom's mouth nipping him around his neck, felt the hardness between his lover's legs, as hands tangled roughly in his hair and he found himself being devoured alive.  Tom had just taken his cock into his mouth when the comm chirped. "Torres to Paris . ." B'Elanna was somewhat startled to hear what sounded like Tom growl back an impatient, "What?" "Are either or both of you up for some pool?" she asked hesitantly, wondering what the hell was wrong with Tom's voice. "Not a good time, B'Elanna," Tom snarled softly, licking Harry all along his cock, nipping at the head. "I have something I have to finish with Harry first." B'Elanna heard what sounded like a groan come over the comm in Sandrine's, loud enough to make Janeway and Chakotay glance up from their game. "Where *is* Harry?" B'Elanna asked with an evil grin, betting she knew full well what the answer was. "Right where I want him," Tom growled back. "Naked, shivering, and under me." B'Elanna crowed delightedly as she heard Harry's moan come over the comm with an "Oh, God, yes," coming from him. "Can Harry come out and play, later?" she asked impishly. "If there's anything left of him," Tom replied in a soft growl, as Harry groaned again. "Go get him, Tiger," she said only to have Harry correct her as he moaned, "*Cougar*". "Whatever!" she laughed as the comm went dead about the same time she heard Harry moan again, louder than before, and an answering soft roar from Tom. B'Elanna looked into Janeway and Chakotay's stunned faces and howled with laughter.  "Ain't love grand?" she inquired, as soon as she could control her mirth, only to explode into laughter again at the look on Chakotay's face. Tom went back to what he was doing with a single-mindedness Harry couldn't help but admire.  He was being stroked everywhere, licked everywhere, bitten everywhere, and his sounds of pleasure were continuous. Tom's growling hadn't stopped and the sensations careening up and down his body were only intensified by the fact that he couldn't see anything. Tom wasn't being gentle and he loved it.  Gods, he needed this, *had* needed this for days.  He felt Tom's teeth again, sinking into his shoulder, as rough hands moved over his chest, felt his lover fasten onto a nipple and bite down.  Harry cried out, only to have Tom's mouth on his, his hot tongue caressing his own, swallowing the sounds he made.  He felt Tom move back up to his neck, again, felt himself being bitten and clenched his hands in Tom's hair, holding him there. "Harder," he moaned, feeling Tom's mouth instantly latch on again, biting through the skin, drawing blood.  Harry arched up sharply into Tom, then fastened his own teeth into that wonderful long neck in front of him, hard.  He raked his nails down Tom's back, hearing him hiss as they traveled lower, digging into the back of one thigh. He heard Tom's groan change into a snarl and felt one hand tear out of his hair, clawing slowly down his back, as Tom bit into him again, on the chest, just below the collarbone.  Tom moved slowly down Harry's body and, after one fierce thrust against him, continued down until he could take his lover into his mouth again.  This time, though, he used his teeth lightly around the head, until Harry was thrashing under him, fingers gripping his hair, crying out in desperate need.  Harry had about all he could stand of this and, hauling his lover back up to him, wrapped his strong legs around Tom, flipped him over, and buried his teeth in his shoulder, hearing him roar. Harry proceeded to nuzzle his way down Tom's chest, biting both nipples, feeling his lover's hands come to tangle themselves into his long hair, again.  He moved quickly down the long, hard body beneath his own, tracing the other man's ribs with his tongue, slithering down until he could take Tom into his mouth.  He gave the hard cock in front of him a lick, swirling over the head, then devoured the man beneath him, sucking hard. He heard Tom's snarl and felt his body buck up under him, as he continued to make love to the man with his mouth. Tom curled up around him, his entire being focused on the incredible things Harry was doing to him, feeling that wonderful long hair draped over his chest like a curtain of silk.  He knew he was too close to coming and decided enough was enough.  He grabbed Harry roughly by the arm, tearing him away from what he had been doing, and threw him down next to him, on his back, kneeling between his lover's legs.  He quickly moved Harry's legs further apart and positioned himself just outside the opening there.    He tried to ease slowly into his lover, but Harry was having none of it, as he wrapped his legs around Tom's waist and pulled him inside, hard and fast. Tom growled and pulled back only to have Harry's legs tighten around him again, pulling him back inside, all the way.  The tempo quickened, as Tom sped up, thrusting into the body quivering under his ferociously, as his hand worked Harry's cock.  Harry knocked his hand away, roughly, and dug into Tom's legs with his nails, hearing the man hiss and growl.  Harry felt nails come down his chest and moaned loudly, thrusting up hard against Tom, feeling the man's body shaking, picturing his head thrown back right before his orgasm claimed him as fiercely as he was claiming Harry.    Harry heard that low howling just as Tom's fingers tightened on his hips, felt the harsh shudder as the climax went through him, heard him roar in triumph and fulfillment, and knew that his lover was coming and hard.   Tom collapsed onto Harry's chest, feeling as though he were on fire, as Harry pulled back and Tom's spent cock slipped gently out of his lover's body.  He felt hands on his arms, moving him bonelessly onto his stomach, then felt the shock of teeth biting into the back of his neck, felt nails being drawn down his backbone, felt his legs being separated, then felt an arm under his waist, pulling him back onto his knees.  He leaned forward on his elbows, feeling Harry right behind him, as a hand clenched into his shoulder and he felt himself being slowly penetrated.  He reared back into Harry, hearing him gasp, felt hands tightening on his hips as a fast, steady rhythm began, making toes he no longer felt curl in anticipation. He felt that long hair caressing his back, tickling his sides as Harry sped up, making him groan, making his back arch, making his hands dig into the sheets below him. He could hear his lover moaning behind him, could feel his quivering body, as the speed increased, and he could hear his own growling, gasping moans, as well.  Harry was biting him all over his back, hard, making him flinch, setting his skin on fire again, as he felt his lover shuddering with the impending climax.   Harry's thrusts came faster, rougher, as his body jerked, as he heard Tom groaning in pleasure, feeling the man tighten around him, as the pleasure coursing through him slammed into him full force, taking him down, and he came, screaming, loud and long, the harsh sound echoing in the still room. He waited a few seconds, resting, then slid off of Tom, pulling out of him, his body trembling with aftershocks, and he felt his lover's arms come around him, felt that gorgeous body wrap itself around him, holding him until the quaking eased. "Damn, I've missed you, Cougar," Harry breathed, nestling into the warm body surrounding his own, kissing the chest beneath his cheek. "Oh, Sweetheart, I've missed you, too," Tom said softly, that familiar rumbling starting again, as he brought his lips to the head beneath his chin.   "I've wanted to do this for so long," he continued, kissing Harry softly, running his lips over the soft hair. "What?" Harry murmured, listening to the purr under his ear, that only paused when his lover spoke. "Take you in total darkness, when I couldn't see you," he replied. "You couldn't see me?" Harry asked in disbelief.  "Then how in the hell did you know where I was, when you were stalking me around the room?" "I knew where you were," Tom answered, puzzled.  "I always know where you are, you set off my proximity sensors anytime you get within a few feet of me." "What?" Harry asked again, not knowing what his lover what talking about. "Harry, can't you sense me, even when you can't see me?" Tom asked, moving gently away from the man in his arms. "No," Harry answered thoughtfully, not understanding how Tom could.  His lover wasn't touching him now, just next to him, on the bed; he could feel the heat coming off of him, but nothing else. "Picture me, Love, in your mind, where I am.  Just concentrate on me, don't try to touch me, just be aware of where I am," Tom was saying softly. Harry had to know how to do this, didn't everyone? Harry shut his eyes, not knowing what difference it made, and waited.  He didn't feel movement, but he felt something, having the odd feeling that something was right in front of his face.  He reached out for it, quickly, and found himself grasping Tom's hand. He gasped and heard Tom laugh. "You felt my hand in front of you, didn't you?" he confirmed. "Because it was setting off your personal proximity alert; you just *knew* it was there.  That's how it is for me, Harry, with you, all the time. It's not magic, it's just . . awareness." "Wow," Harry said softly, awed, as Tom laughed again, delighted to have shown his lover something new and different. "That's how you do it, isn't it?" Harry said with growing excitement, feeling like he'd just solved one of the mysteries of the universe. "That's why you're such a *damn* good pilot, why you're so aware of where Voyager is, why you flinch every time she gets hit. You extend this . . awareness beyond you, don't you?  Feeling the moves before you make them, feeling the turns the ship takes, feeling the enemy ships around you. That's how you know, isn't it?" he finished, softly, feeling Tom nodding, slowly, next to him. "Computer, lights, ten percent," he called out quietly, needing to see Tom, though nothing happened until Tom released the security lock-out on the lights. Tom looked slightly surprised in the dim light.  "I guess I just took it for granted," he said wonderingly.  "I never really thought about it, how I do *anything*, I just did it.  You're right, I *can* feel Voyager around me, like an extension of me. I *can* see around the ship, sort of, when we're in combat.  Like a simulation running through my head, I can tell what the next move needs to be.  Hmm," he finished, deep in thought until Harry's lips on his distracted him. "That is *so* cool," Harry said, making Tom chuckle again.  He burrowed back into those warm, strong arms, listening to Tom rumble, feeling gentle fingers combing through his hair, as exhaustion slowly caught up with them and they drifted off to sleep. Tom surfaced after a couple of hours, looking at the beautiful man in his arms with delight and love.   he wondered, softly moving the long black hair out of the way, so he wouldn't wake Harry.  This was still one of his favorite things and he knew his internal clock had set itself to wake him, on purpose, just so he could watch his lover sleeping.  How he loved this man, needed him, couldn't be complete or happy without him.   He sighed in contentment, thinking about the next logical step in this relationship.  It might come as a shock to some people; many were just getting used to the fact that they were involved. It may have been years for them, but for everyone else on the ship, they had gone from being best friends to passionate lovers in about two days.  Tom didn't care; he wanted to make it permanent, official, forever, in front of the Gods and the crew; he wanted to announce his intention to spend the rest of his life with this man, his perfect mate, the other half of him, the best half. He didn't want to think about his life without Harry Kim in it; it depressed the hell out of him, made him feel empty inside.  He thought about growing old with him, the years they could have together, and sighed. However long it was, it wouldn't be enough, even if they spent a *lifetime* together.  And he was getting increasingly impatient for it to begin immediately.   He eased slowly out of Harry's embrace, wanting to let him sleep, and moved quietly off the bed.  He began searching for the clothes he'd shed earlier, found them in a heap on the sofa, and quietly got dressed.  He needed to go tell B'Elanna, get her reaction, use her as a sounding board for his ideas. He also wanted to ask her if she would stand up for them, during the ceremony.  Tom could feel his breath tighten in his chest, as his mind took off at warp speed, making plan after plan.   He took one last look at himself in the mirror, in the still mostly dark room.  Even in the near-darkness, he could see the damage Harry had inflicted on him and smiled.  Let B'Elanna make of it whatever she wanted to, he loved the thought that his lover had made him so visibly *his*, as he checked out the bruises, and scratches, and bite marks on his chest and throat. He briefly debated putting on a turtleneck, then discarded the notion.  He wanted people to know, needed people to know, that he was Harry's.  The warmth of that thought suffused through his skin, making him glow, as he affixed his comm badge to his shirt and headed out the door.                       --------------------- B'Elanna stared as Tom came into Sandrine's and headed right for her, completely oblivious to the shocked looks he was getting at his appearance. She whistled softly as she took in the damage, moving a slow hand to the 'V' of his shirt to see even more marks on his chest. "Damn," she said with a grin.  "I would *hate* to see the other guy." Tom roared with laughter as he took B'Elanna's hands in his and leaned in to speak to her. "I'm going to ask Harry to marry me," he started, grinning at her smile of surprise and delight.  "And I would love it if you would stand up or us."                  <<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>> Harry had awoken to find himself alone, betting that his new-found awareness of Tom had signaled the fact that his lover had gone.  He threw on some clothes and checked with the computer to determine Tom's location on the holodeck. Stopping in front of the mirror, he grinned at the marks his Cougar had left him with this time.  He headed out of their quarters with a spring in his step and went to the holodeck . . entering just in time to see B'Elanna throw her arms around the man he loved and reply, "Oh, I'd *love* to," to whatever Tom had asked her, right before she kissed him. Harry felt like someone had dumped ice water down his back, as he inhaled sharply, wondering how in the *hell* Tom could have gone from him to B'Elanna, so quickly.  He turned to leave, in shock, but he felt a familiar hand on his arm, gently tugging him back around. "Harry, we need to talk, about something serious," Tom said, with a very somber look on his face.  Harry felt his heart drop down to his knees, as he numbly followed Tom to a nearby table, closest to the pool table.  He fell into the chair, not noticing the crowd forming in front of the door, or along the walls, as tables filled up rapidly, thanks to B'Elanna's quiet announcement to half a dozen different departments of the impending wonderful news. Harry wasn't about to let Tom just dump this on him, not without trying to salvage some of his dignity.  He couldn't believe this was the end.  Had that latest romp been just a goodbye, or was it only sex, now? "Before you say a word," he started painfully, "I already know." Tom groaned.  "Damn, I wanted you to hear it from me, Harry. I'm so sorry, I should've known better, the grapevine on this ship tops out at warp ten." "It's B'Elanna, isn't it?" Harry said slowly, feeling like every word was being torn from his heart, not noticing Tom's slightly confused look. "What's B'Elanna, Harry?" he asked softly, suddenly not liking the look on his lover's face one damn bit. "The reason you're leaving me," Harry answered in a ghost of a whisper, his eyes filling with tears. Tom just sat there, stunned, not noticing the Captain and Commander come in and join B'Elanna, not noticing them asking her if they had missed it, not noticing both their heads snap up when he roared, "The reason I'm *what*?!?" as he looked at Harry with something akin to horror. "Leaving me," Harry whispered, not understanding the look on Tom's face. Tom ran shaking fingers through his hair, feeling like he'd just been poleaxed.  "Why in the *hell* would I *leave* you?" his voice a little quieter, yet completely unaware of the total silence in the room as more than half the crew watched, not knowing what was going on.  He threw himself out of the chair, stepping backwards, looking at Harry in shock, then stopped and came slowly back to the table, resting his hands on it, right in front of where he'd just been sitting. "I *love* you, Harry," he ground out, not knowing or caring how his anguished voice carried in the deathly silent room.  "What the hell do you think I've been doing for the *LAST THREE YEARS*?" he finished, shouting, seeing Harry flinch in front of him. "It wasn't like you had any other options, at the time," Harry grated bitterly, feeling some small satisfaction at watching Tom double over, wanting for this all to end. "You honestly think that I only loved you because you were *CONVENIENT*?!?" Tom yelled again, not believing what he was hearing, not believing he was actually seeing Harry *nod* in agreement.  "Oh, you *son of a BITCH*, how *could* you?" he all but screamed, heading for Harry, looking like he had murder on his mind. Chakotay was half out of his seat, when B'Elanna's hiss stopped him. "Don't.  Look at Harry, he's not afraid of him," feeling her nails dig into his arm as he realized she was right.  Harry was looking at Tom with pain and grief, but there was no fear in his eyes at all; he *knew* Tom would never hurt him.  Chakotay slowly sank back into his chair. Tom stopped before he ever reached Harry, whirled away and stalked to the other side of the pool table, pacing in agitation and anger. "How can you doubt how much I love you?" he cried out, running his fingers roughly through his hair, again, not believing *any* of this. "Because you never *told* me," Harry answered him, loudly, seeing that golden, bowed head shoot up in disbelief. "I never . . " Tom started stunned, before anger rocked him, again.  "I told you every damn day we were *down* there, how much I *loved* you, how much I *needed* you . ." "You *never* told me!!" Harry yelled back at him, jumping to his feet, kicking the chair away from him.  "All you ever said was how much there *was* to tell me, but you never said a *GODDAMNED* thing!" Tom looked at him, shocked to the core.  Had he really never *told* Harry, never had that *talk*?  As he realized the truth of it, he groaned, bringing both fists down onto the pool table, hard, the cracking sound echoing in the still room. "And you wouldn't believe me now, if I did, would you?" he asked in an anguished whisper, leaning forward on his elbows to drop his head into his hands as Harry shook his head no. "What can I do, Love?" Tom asked painfully, raising wounded eyes to Harry. Anything, name it, what do you need me to do?" Harry looked at him with agony in his own eyes.  "Prove it," he challenged, deadly serious in spite of using the words they usually played with.  "Convince me," he concluded, hoping that Tom could, feeling that hope die when a look of total helplessness crossed Tom's face. "Did you ever *tell* anyone?" he offered, giving him a chance, only to see Tom shaking his head. "How in the hell could I?" he asked, softly.  "You were my best friend, if I had told *anyone* it would've been you, and I couldn't tell *you* because *you* were the one I had fallen in love with!" he finished with an agonized wail, spinning away from the pool table to resume his pacing, knowing there was something he was forgetting, something important, that would make Harry *see*. "Then, I guess that's it," Harry whispered, clearly heard by everyone in the room, feeling like his heart was being ripped from his chest, as he turned to go. A softly accented voice stopped him. "Harry, one moment, if you please."  Sandrine was leaning on the bar, looking upset and sympathetic at the pain of these two men who loved each other so much. "Thomas, you told me, in a manner of speaking," she said to him, softly, watching his head come up, as she reminded him of that which he had forgotten. His fists came back onto the table, with a loud crack, this time in victory.  Gods, yes, the *logs*. "Harry, get back here," he stated, then, as his lover didn't turn, said, "Come or be carried, Love, I am *not* screwing around." Harry sighed, then headed back to Tom, standing next to the table they had originally been sitting at.  He got on top of the table at Tom's instruction, sitting crosslegged, and felt Tom slide in behind him, his legs on either side of Harry's. "Whenever you want, Sandrine," Tom said, as to Harry's astonishment, *Sandrine* ordered the computer to, "Begin playback, Kim Omega Paris One." The surface of the pool table shimmered as Tom's figure came into focus, sitting there, looking somewhat younger than he did currently, hair shorter, idly rolling the cue ball around on the felt surface. "Harry, the reason you're watching this is because I'm dead and I needed to tell you something I never got around to when I was alive," he paused, smiling slightly, then continued. "I've gone and done something possibly unforgivable.  I've fallen in love with my best friend," he sighed, then went on.  "I'm sorry you have to hear about it like this, but I am the biggest fucking coward in the universe," Tom laughed, slightly, running his hands over his face. "You are probably wondering when the hell it all started, what the *moment* was.  I can tell you . . exactly." "I was sitting in a bar, on DS9, trying to convince a Ferengi that I wasn't interested in what he was selling.  I was quickly losing patience with the little troll and was just about to pound him into the floor, when you walked in," Tom paused, dreamily staring off into space as he went on. "I thought you were the most ridiculously beautiful thing I'd ever seen in my life," Tom chuckled, continuing wryly.  "I still think so. I remember thinking 'My God, *that* man deserves to *wear* the bloody uniform.'  You made me feel like the fraud I was, the fraud I knew myself to be.  Anyway . . you came into Quark's and the room lit up.  So did Quark's eyes, when he realized he'd found himself another target.  I kept waiting for you to let him have it.  Any minute, now, I remember thinking, he's going to let the troll have it.  But you didn't, you bought into his line of bull; I couldn't believe it.  I thought you were too damned good to be true.  I got you out of his clutches and found I'd made myself a friend. It amazes the hell out of me, even now," he said, shaking his head, wonderingly. "When I saw you talking to the Doctor and the first officer, on board Voyager, I thought it was over, I knew they'd told you what I'd done on Caldik Prime, what they knew or thought they knew.  When I joined you, it was just to give you the chance to tell me to go to hell, but you didn't. You asked me why, you wanted to know what happened, you wanted answers. You didn't want to put my head on a post, you didn't play judge, jury, and executioner; you just needed to *know*.  You sat there, looking at me with such compassion and sympathy . . Gods, it damn near killed me, Harry.  You told me that *that* was your worst nightmare, being responsible for someone else's death, knowing that they died because of you.  I told you it was also *my* worst nightmare, as we were walking the deck."    "You were so supportive and you didn't even know me. I'd lost people, supposedly friends, over that incident, and there you were, still," Tom heaved a sigh like the weight of the world was resting his shoulders and Harry found himself moving toward him, to comfort him, before realizing that the *real* Tom was sitting right behind him. He leaned back and felt Tom's arms come around him, gently, not wanting to cling too tightly, nuzzling the back of his head with those soft lips, just once, before his attention returned to the image in front of them. Neither of them noticed how riveted the rest of the crew was, watching Tom pour out his heart, how full the room was, nearly everyone there, listening with rapt attention as Tom's younger image went on. "I found myself looking at you, realizing I loved you, then, and having a hell of a time remembering a time when I *didn't* love you.  I was afraid to let you out of my sight.  Then, we got caught up in that whole business with the Caretaker and you were gone.  I remember thinking that the Paris luck had once again reached out a hand to someone I cared about, threatening to destroy him. I went down to look for you on the Ocampan homeworld, saying something to the Captain about how it would be a shame if anything happened to you.  It wouldn't have just been a shame, it would've fucking *killed* me. I remember getting you and B'Elanna to the planet's surface and seeing the look on your face when you realized that Chakotay wasn't with us," he halted again, running his hands over his face, as Chakotay leaned forward, knowing this was important, though nothing prepared him for what was to come. "I knew you, Harry, even though he was there to help find one of his own crew, you'd still find a way to feel responsible," he paused again, a brittle grin on his face, shaking his head before he went on.  "Your worst nightmare, remember?  I couldn't let that happen to you.  I couldn't end mine, but I could at least try to keep yours from becoming a reality.  I had to go back, Neelix came along, ended up saving Chakotay's life.  He doesn't owe me a damn thing, he owes *you*, Harry," he chuckled, as Chakotay fell back into his chair, stunned, not really feeling the Captain and B'Elanna's concerned hands on his forearms, as Tom went on.  "He still doesn't know why I did it, why the hell I went back for him.  Many's the time I would've loved to have told him, just to see the look on his face. Even, then . . my love for you was stronger than the animosity I felt for him, beat the crap out of it, in fact," Tom said, laughing.  "He can't figure it out, still, and it makes him *nuts*.  Maybe, one of these days, I'll put him out of his misery."  He paused, again, then grinned from ear to ear as he said, "Nah," and laughed again. Harry found himself chuckling and felt Tom's arms tighten around him, slightly, as Tom moved his left leg up, bending the knee, wrapping his arm around it to support himself, as his other leg bent back, his heel in his groin, Harry leaning back against his right shin, feeling the beat of his lover's heart against his back. The Tom on the pool table finally quit laughing enough to go on with the story.  "Anyway, things got so strange after that, me being accused of murder, for one.  I knew you didn't want to believe it, it didn't look good, that's for sure, but you were with me. It made it bearable, until Tuvok cleared me, thank whatever deity was responsible for that, and we left the whole disaster behind," he stopped, biting his lip, Harry startled to see *tears* in his eyes, as he cleared his throat, and continued. "Then we lost you, on that planet with all the bodies.  I remember being so *angry* at Chakotay, I went out of my way to avoid him, if at all possible, just to keep from mopping the *deck* with him. I understood that we had intruded upon a burial site, but he was so *damned* hot to leave, to just go and abandon you, to God only knew what.  I almost told him, about him owing you his life, thinking he might feel that he owed you some . . I don't know, more time, maybe? Gods, I can't remember *ever* being that mad at anyone.  Fortunately, you managed to beat death, yet again, and made it back to us.  You knew something was up between me and the Commander, when you got back, you didn't know what, but you knew it wasn't good.  There's no love lost between me and that man, that's for sure.  Anyway, it meant a lot to me to have you come to me, to talk about what had happened to you, what you were thinking, how you were feeling.  I really loved those talks, you'll never know how much," he stopped and sighed. "Now, after all that mess, comes this warp ten experiment. That's really why I'm here, now, why I'm doing this, Harry.  I have a *seriously* bad feeling about this flight tomorrow. Janeway said there was some physical reason why I shouldn't make it, but when she told me you'd be going in my place, I thought 'over my dead body'.  I don't know what's going to happen," Tom said, shaking his head, "but I'll be willing to bet it's not good.  I had this same feeling when I got caught flying for the Maquis.  I couldn't let you do this.  Fuck, would you *listen* to me? I know you're a grown man, shoot me, I love you, I don't want anything to happen to you . . I'm leaving this program in Sandrine's capable hands; she's the only one who can access it.  I don't dare just leave it for you to find, in case, by some miracle, I do make it back.  But, I don't believe in miracles, Harry . . I just believe in you.  Take care of yourself, okay?" Tom stopped, dropped his head, looked up again.  "Just know that you were loved, by me, if it matters to you at all. Cease recording," and with that Tom faded from sight. Harry turned into Tom's shoulder, putting his arms around his lover, tears streaming from his eyes.  He wasn't the only one, not by a long shot, as a few sniffles were heard around the room.  Tom pulled back, to look at the face of the man he loved. "What, you don't think we're done yet, do you? Not on your life, my Love." "Good gods, there's more?" Harry gaped at Tom, seeing that beautiful smile break across his face. "Oh, hell, yes, Sweetheart.  Come back here," he said pulling Harry against him once more, kissing him softly on the neck. "Fire when ready, Sandrine." At Sandrine's spoken command, Kim Omega Paris Two shimmered into being.  Tom was sitting on the pool table again, rolling the black '8' ball around the felt and wearing civilian clothes.  Harry recognized them as being the ones he wore when . . oh, no.  Tom spoke. "Hi, Harry, guess who?  Okay, so I survived evolving into a different lifeform, *and* procreating with the Captain, with my sanity only slightly the worse for wear.  This time, though, it's even worse," he sighed, running his hands over his face. "There is a traitor on board and guess who gets to go undercover to find the rat bastard?  Yeah, me. Guess it takes one to know one," he paused, chuckling bitterly, as Harry stiffened in Tom's arms, oblivious to the Captain and Chakotay having similar reactions, looking at one another with apology and acceptance, after some stiffening of their own. "I've had to play the general malcontent, lately, for weeks, the snide comments, showing up late for duty, getting into it with Chakotay, publicly, on any and all excuses.  The worst thing is that I can't even tell you and I know you're horrified by it, puzzled by it . . Gods, you're trying to be there for me, talk to me, comfort me, trying so damn hard to *help* me. Oh, fuck," he groaned, putting his head in his hands, digging in with his fingertips.  At last, he looked up.  "At least, you'll know now that I didn't mean it, any of it.  I have to leave the ship, pretending to be delighted with my career choice aboard a Talaxian freighter, knowing that the Kazon, who are so *fucking* predictable, will come after me. Oh, joy.  One thing they are *not* known for, though, is their *hospitality*. So, odds are I won't be coming back, which really sucks, but hey, why *not* me, right?  I've managed to piss off damn near everyone on board; there won't be a throng of people to see me off."  He paused, smiling sadly, then went on, "I know you'll be there, though, and probably Kes and Neelix.  Kes *is* empathic, that little lady knows something's going on and she's worried about me, bless her Ocampan heart." "Harry, I know I don't have the right to ask you for anything, but if you could just tell her," he had to pause, his voice breaking, before he'd collected himself enough to go on.  "Just tell her, it wasn't really me, the bastard I've been for these last few weeks, okay?  It's important to me that she know," he stopped, turned his head as if to hide the look of pain crossing over his features, and took a deep breath.    "I don't really expect to make it back, Harry.  Know this, though, okay?  That my last thoughts were of you . . and that I died with a smile on my face.  I love you, Harry, I'll go to my grave loving you," Tom stopped and Harry got the feeling Tom was looking right through him, through eyes filled with tears.  "Goodbye, Harry.  Cease recording," he finished softly before fading out of sight again. Harry turned his face into Tom's shoulder and cried quietly, not even hearing numerous other people in the room doing the same thing.  He felt Tom's arms come around him, holding him, kissing his neck softly, nuzzling him with that gorgeous golden hair. "Still not done, yet, Sweetheart, sorry," he said to Harry, smiling through tears. Harry nodded firmly. "I want to see all of it, every last bit." Tom nodded to Sandrine, who started Kim Omega Paris Three.   Harry noticed, first off, the black '8' ball again, and knew this wasn't going to be a good one.  He took a close look at Tom, sitting there, shoulders shaking, arms wrapped tightly around his knees, which were drawn up as if to protect him from a body blow.  Finally Tom looked up and Harry gasped to see the tears streaming down his face.  He looked to the side, sniffed, and started in with a ragged voice. "It never occurred to me, not really, that *you'd* go first," he began, brokenly.  "B'Elanna said there was nothing she could do, you were just blown out the hull breach," he paused, as Harry gasped, knowing this was history he didn't share with Tom, coming from the other ship onto this one, never dying. "I know that if I had been there, I'd be gone, too.  That I would've gone after you, there's no doubt in my mind.  I have to believe that there is a reason, that this isn't the end.  Or else, I'm sitting here in a holographic bar, talking to a dead man, who's never coming back," he stopped, bringing his hands over his face, before angrily brushing the scalding tears away, and beginning again.  "*Goddammit*, Harry, you can't *leave* me like this, you just *can't*," he cried out in anguish, before hurling the '8' ball behind him, at the bar.  Harry could hear holographic glass shattering, out of view, as Tom's arms tightened around him and he reached up to hold onto them, lacing his fingers through his lover's. "Computer, cease this *fucking* recording," Tom snarled before hopping off the table, and disappearing. Tom looked down at Harry, who nodded, so he nodded to Sandrine, who ordered Kim Omega Paris Four.  Tom looked better, his smiling face causing the other people there in the room to smile, too, oddly relieved. Harry noticed the cue ball being rolled from hand to hand and sighed, knowing this was going to be a more cheerful entry. "Well, guess who came over from the duplicate ship, saving me from a lifetime of misery, albeit a short one, and from my own worst enemy, *me*?  Harry, I don't know how you manage to keep doing this, cheating the Reaper, the way you do.  But, I couldn't be any happier," he paused, looking thoughtful.    "I know the other Tom is dead, either at the hands of the Vidiians, or from the ship self-destructing, along with the other Harry.  I know he felt the same way about you as I do.  I'd be willing to bet that they're watching out for each other, now, wherever they are, the same way we do.  I almost envy them," he said, with quiet intensity.  "They have forever together, the rest of eternity.  That sounds like a pretty damn good way to spend it, with you." "Gods, I know it's selfish, but I am so damned glad you're back, or here, or whatever the hell you want to call it.  You're the only good thing about this whole damn trip, Harry.  I'm stuck in Purgatory, flying this ship right back to the last place I want to be, just so I can look forward to finishing out my damned prison sentence.  I was wrong, before, about my worst nightmare. *New Zealand* is my worst fucking nightmare.  You know, I was almost looking forward to being on the ship set to destruct.  You were gone, I just didn't *care* anymore.  I think if you hadn't come back, I probably would've eaten my phaser," Tom paused. Harry shuddered, then heard his lover's voice whispering, "It's okay, Love, I'm right here, it's okay."  His horror was felt by Janeway, knowing now that Tom had made the decision to end his life, rather than live it without Harry, rather than going home. Chakotay, too, felt shock at Tom's admission, remembering how quiet Paris was after they'd lost Harry, how pale, how sad.  It hit him, hard, to know that they had come so close to losing both of them.  B'Elanna was trying to remember that Klingons don't cry, without much luck at all.  She'd never realized, before, how hellish this trip home was for Tom, who didn't want to go back. It made her wonder at his strength to return to Voyager, when he and Harry could have spent the rest of their lives together, in perfect happiness, on a planet now far behind them. "But you're here, thank the gods for that, and I am no longer alone in the universe.  I know I have other friends aboard, Harry, but none of them speaks to my heart the way you do, shining the light into the dark corners, making everything bearable for me.  I know it's not fair, to bury you under all this, when you do everything you can to lighten the burden I carry.  I just love you, so much. I've made up my mind to tell you; I'm waiting for a good time.  I don't know how the hell you'll react, but this whole experience has made me see that we may not have a lot of time, here. Anything can, and does, happen to anybody.  I'm going to treat this like the second chance I know it to be.  So, I'll find the time soon, and let you know how I've felt pretty much since the instant I laid eyes on you. Then, we'll just have to see what happens next," he ended, smiling with delight and hope. "Computer, cease recording." Harry whispered, "Go ahead," feeling Tom's lips on his cheek as he signaled again to Sandrine, who started Kim Omega Paris Five.  Harry smiled, noticing the white cue ball, again, as Tom began to speak. "Okay, this is it," he started, laughing breathlessly.  "And I am so damn nervous, I'm going to hyperventilate.  We've got shore leave coming up, you and I, so we'll be away from the ship, and everyone else, and *finally* I can tell you.  Gods, it feels like I've been waiting my whole life for this moment, Harry.  I keep telling myself not to get my hopes up, that this could absolutely horrify you, but damned if I can help it.  I love you and I can't keep it inside me anymore, I'll explode, or go crazy, or do something stupid.  I can't wait, though," he paused, positively beaming, while Harry wondered why it had never happened.  He looked back at Tom, who just stared straight ahead with such cold eyes that it scared the hell out of Harry and he pulled his attention back to the holographic Tom sitting on the pool table. "So, this is it.  I hope the setting is perfect, it should be. I've heard Akritiri is a beautiful planet."  His order to cease recording went unnoticed by Harry, who had gasped in horror, along with several other people in the room, B'Elanna's head dropping down to her arms, Janeway groaning aloud, leaning forward on her elbows, and taking her face in her hands. "Oh, gods, no . ." Harry moaned, turning his head into Tom's shoulder, the tears starting again.  "No, oh goddammit, *no*," he whispered in agony as Tom nodded once to Sandrine, who called for Kim Omega Paris Six. Harry looked as Tom formed in front of him, noticing the hard set to his jaw, the dead look in his eyes, as he aimlessly rolled the black '8' ball on the table's surface. "Call me crazy, but I am *beginning* to see a pattern here," he grated through teeth clenched so hard, Harry wondered how they didn't shatter in his mouth.  Tom laughed harshly, through hatred and bitterness, as he went on.  "My worst *fucking* nightmare and I drag you right into the middle of it, Harry.  You *should* hate my guts; I don't know how you can stand the sight of me. Shit," he paused, dropping his head into his hands, running savage fingers through his hair.   "*Goddammit*," he roared, clenching his fists at his sides, "I have never been so murderously angry in my *life*, as I was when you came down that chute and that *fucking* animal touched you.  Shit, I wanted to tear his fucking arm off and *beat* him to death with it," he paused, chuckling bitterly, a hard, angry sound.  "I know the Doc would say that these raging, overprotective, homicidal feelings were due to the implant, but I happen to know better.  When I said you were mine, Harry, I *meant* it, *every* *fucking* *word*," he spat out. "I would've cheerfully killed the next man who laid a hand on you.  Then what happens?  *I* get stabbed and you've got to protect *me* while trying to keep body, mind, and spirit intact." "Oh, *Harry*," he groaned, with heartfelt regret and pain.  "I am so damned sorry.  Gods, I could *never* be sorry enough, for what you went through because of *me*.  You may forgive me, shit, that is *so* like you, Harry, but I will *never* forgive myself. I should've known, really, I should've known," Tom shook his head with bitter amusement.  "The Paris luck is still going strong, hurting the people I love most. At least, I'm consistent, you've got to say that for me.  Oh, Harry, I don't remember a lot of what happened, but I remember you, at my side, again, defending me, protecting me from them.  Gods, I loved you so damn much in that moment, I nearly said the words out loud." "Now, I don't think I'll ever be able to say them," Tom halted, shaking, as Harry watched in empathic agony for this man, the man he loved, feeling his lover's strong arms around him, feeling his body shaking, knowing he was crying. B'Elanna couldn't take her eyes off Tom, as he held onto Harry like a lifeline, his head buried in the back of Harry's neck, tears streaming down his face.  Chakotay was having problems swallowing past the lump in his throat, as well.  Damn, so much pain and torment for these two men, it just wasn't fair. He felt B'Elanna's nails digging into one arm and Kathryn's, not much gentler, in the other, and wondered if he was going to have to have them surgically removed.  He glanced at his Captain, as she surreptitiously wiped away tears, then took a look around them, to see others doing the same.  Kes wasn't even bothering to wipe hers away, anymore, as she sat there, looking so sad, with Neelix's arms around her. His eyes weren't dry, either.  In fact, this whole log of Tom's had resulted in Tuvok having the only clear eyes in the house. Tom's image spoke again, brokenly, "I don't know what to do, now, Harry.  And I can't ask the best friend I've ever had for advice, either. I didn't think anything could hurt this much, nothing has hurt this badly since you died.  In some ways, this is even worse, because *I* did this to you, my need to tell you I loved you brought this to be.  And I don't know what to do to make it better, for you.  I just don't know how . ."  His whispered command to the computer to cease recording again went unnoticed by Harry, who had turned around, wrapped his arms about his lover, holding him tight.  Tom brought his head up, to see Harry's eyes filled with nothing but love and sympathy for him, as he kissed him softly. "It was never your fault, you *have* to know that.  Even if you hadn't loved me, we *still* would have been on shore leave, the explosion *still* would have happened, we *still* would have been blamed, and we *still* would have ended up in prison. Your love for me didn't cause this, Cougar, it just happened, by accident, the way a lot of things just happen in this universe.  It was *not* your fault." Harry felt relieved when Tom nodded, wiping his eyes, and jerked his head to the pool table, again. "There's one more, just one," he whispered raggedly, though it still carried throughout the silent room.  Harry nodded, and Tom looked at Sandrine, who ordered Kim Omega Paris Seven. Harry looked up to see Tom flicker into view in front of him, the cue ball on one side and the '8' ball on the other.  Tom looked worried, confirming it as he opened his mouth to speak. "Watson and Likett just beamed back aboard, without you. You're stuck down there, on a planet where time has gone crazy, and we can't get you back.  I can't leave you there, Harry, I just can't," he said softly, sorrowfully, before clearing his throat. "I don't have much time, or, rather, *you* don't have much time. I'll be asking the Captain for permission to go after you, and she'll say no for numerous logical, sensible, thoughtful reasons, but I have to give her the chance.  I don't want to come back to find her angry with me for not even giving her the opportunity to grant my request.  And, after she says no, I will get together whatever I think we'll need, and then I'll come after you," he paused, shaking his head in wry amusement.  "There, now it's official, 'premeditated insubordination with deliberate intent'. Guilty. Maybe I'll get a field court-martial to go with my field commission.  I don't care, I *can't* care.  I cannot make myself abandon you, Harry, not without losing the best part of me in the process.  I love you, more than anything, and I cannot just leave you . ." Tom halted, again, trying to stem the tears forming in his eyes.   "I have to be with you, I don't care if we're stuck down there for the rest of our lives, I *have* to be with you.  Because I can't live without you, Harry.  I love you so damn much, I *have* to go and hope that the Captain will understand, if we ever make it back."  Tom took a deep breath and went on.  "If, for some reason, I don't make it back, and you do, *do* *not* *blame* *yourself*, okay?  I have no choice, none, this is something I have to do, it's *my* decision, got that?  The last thing I want is to be the cause of your worst nightmare, I mean it, Harry.  If you start blaming yourself, I *swear* I will come back and *haunt* you 'til you beg me to leave you the hell alone," he stated emphatically, grinning all the while, making Harry smile. "So, there you have it, Harry.  I love you and I am coming after you. Computer, cease recording."  Tom winked out of existence, as Harry sighed, reveling in the feel of his lover's arms around him, knowing he was loved, Gods, *how* he was loved, by the wonderful, caring, passionate man behind him. The tears started again as he felt his face, held in Tom's gentle hands, raised for his kiss. "Convinced?" Tom asked softly, though it was clearly heard throughout the room, as more than one person waited anxiously for the answer. Harry nodded and Tom threw back his head, laughing in relief. "Thank the gods," he said with feeling.  "I am all out of aces, Love, if this hadn't done it . ."  Harry shivered at the thought, looking into his Cougar's beautiful blue eyes.  "I love you, so damn much, Harry," Tom said clearly, despite the tears filling his eyes.  "I don't care what you doubt about me in the future, but don't *ever* doubt how much I love you, you hear me? Anything else, but *never* that. You are the next beat of my heart, the next breath I take; I cannot *live* without you, Har. You are *everything* to me, every good thing in the universe and I cannot be without you.  *You* are the star I set my compass by and I *need* you, so much it scares me, sometimes.  I love you, Harry, with everything I am, I love you," Tom ended softly, kissing Harry gently on the lips, feeling his lover's body shaking with sobs as he gasped for breath. "I am so sorry, Gods, I was such an idiot.  I can't believe what I almost did to us.  Can you ever forgive me?" he asked with such misery, Tom thought he half-expected the answer to be 'no'.  "This wasn't entirely your fault, no," he continued firmly, as Harry tried to protest.  "No, it wasn't; I should have told you, so many times, I should have told you.  I'm just sorry I damn near had to lose you for it to happen."  He held Harry's face in his hands firmly, looking him square in the eye.  "I love you; I have *always* loved you; I will *die* loving you." Harry trembled with the intensity of the words, the fierceness in Tom's eyes, there was no longer any doubt of it, never again would there be.  "I *know* and I love you, too," he answered, firmly, wondering at the mischievous look that suddenly appeared in his lover's eyes. "Prove it," Tom challenged, looking at Harry's startled face with delight.   "Marry me." Half the room gasped out loud.  B'Elanna felt like cheering and had to put her fist to her mouth to keep from making a sound louder than an excited squeak.  Chakotay felt like he was holding his breath and one look at Kathryn Janeway showed him he was not alone.  Even Tuvok was leaning forward, raptly observing the two men, awaiting Harry's response. Harry's tears wouldn't stop and he put his hands softly against his lover's cheeks, holding him there as he kissed him, gently. "Yes," he stated firmly and kept repeating it, kissing his joyously laughing lover, oblivious to the clapping and cheering all around them, the wiping of eyes, the smiles, the laughter. He pulled back and looked at Tom, not noticing the room again grow quiet, people watching them.  Harry gently took Tom's hand, and kissing the palm, placed it over his rapidly beating heart. "Yours," he said simply, firmly. "Always and forever." Tom took Harry's hand, kissed the palm reverently, and placed it over his own thudding heart. "Yours," he replied in a strong, tender voice. "Always and forever."  He leaned forward to kiss Harry again, growling, "Mine," as Harry laughed out loud in delight, kissing him passionately.  He pulled away briefly and Tom saw his eyes shining.  "Mine," Harry said softly, tangling his hands through the golden hair and pulling him in close for another searing kiss.  Only when they came up for air, did they notice that the room was packed, and everyone was looking at them. Harry cleared his throat, scooting off the table and grabbing Tom's hand in his, as he pulled him gently toward the door.  "If you all will, uh, excuse us," he paused to meet B'Elanna's happy eyes, smiling as she winked at him. "We, um, have a wedding to plan," he finished, with a wicked grin at Tom, who burst out laughing, pulling Harry next to his side, putting his arm around him, as he kissed him on the temple.  He paused to blow Sandrine a kiss, as the crowd near the door parted to let them through. The two of them walked casually until they were out of sight of those peeking out the doors to Sandrine's, then rapidly exited the holodeck, nearly running back to their quarters. The exhaustion of the emotional rollercoaster they'd been on had left them both too drained to do more than get out of their clothes and fall into bed, wrapping themselves around each other, as they spent quiet hours talking, making plans.  Harry loved the idea that B'Elanna had agreed to stand up for them, now that his jealousy and insecurities had been firmly and lovingly dealt with.  Tom loved the idea that Harry had agreed to marry him in front of about eighty witnesses, so he couldn't back out, now.  They agreed to schedule the wedding in a couple of weeks, after they had been back at their posts for a while.  They finally fell asleep, looking forward to their future together with hope and joy.                    <<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>> The next morning, they decided it was time to get their hair cut, as they were starting back on bridge duty the following day. Harry was sitting in front of Tom on the floor, waiting for his lover to get on with it.  Tom had been spending the last fifteen minutes brushing it out, one of his favorite pastimes, stalling the inevitable.  His eyes met Harry's in the mirror and he sighed. "Okay, okay, quit looking at me like that," Tom said in resignation, before picking up the trimmer and flicking it on.  He looked at the back of Harry's head, groaned, and shut the thing off. "I can't do it, Love; I just can't make myself do it." Harry sighed, moved behind Tom, and took the trimmer, turning it on, again.  Tom closed his eyes, as Harry ran his fingers through the golden waves, before he sighed in exasperation, and turned the device off, tossing it to the floor. "I can't do it, either.  This is ridiculous, it's only *hair*, for heaven's sake." They looked at one another in the mirror, grinning, shaking their heads, when the door chimed.  As they both called 'enter', the Captain came in, taking stock of the situation at a glance.  As they attempted to stand, she waved them back and sat on the sofa, looking at them both with compassion and amusement. "Not having any luck, are you?" she asked seriously, although her eyes were shining. They both sighed, shaking their heads, as they answered together, "No, Captain." Janeway looked at them thoughtfully, cocking her head to one side. "I *suppose* you could keep it, as long as it's out of the way, and it doesn't interfere with your performing your duties on the bridge," she said, noting the delight and relief on their faces at her words. "Thank you, Captain," Tom stated as Harry echoed his thanks, grinning at her. She moved to get to her feet and paused.  "By the way, have you set a date, yet?" They informed of their wish to have the wedding in a couple of weeks and she nodded. "Come to me later, as you work out the details.  Just don't be surprised if this wedding grows to mammoth proportions. Everyone on this ship is fond of the two of you and they couldn't be happier for you."  She paused, for a moment, then finished, "As am I."  She smiled and took her leave, noting behind her how Tom leaned into Harry, who wrapped his arms around the shoulders of the man he loved.  No, she couldn't be any happier, for either of them, she thought, as she walked out the door and down the hall.                 <<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>> The next morning saw the two of them, back in uniforms that fit, making their way to the bridge. Harry saw that familiar gleam in Tom's eyes and sighed, smiling. "I can't help it," Tom said, softly, caressing Harry's cheek.  "I always thought you looked incredibly hot in uniform," he breathed before leaning in to kiss his lover, moving him back against the wall of the turbolift, feeling Harry's arms come around him. As the lift chimed its arrival to the bridge, heads turned expectantly, wondering when they saw no one, until they noticed Tom step back into view, followed closely by Harry, both looking slightly breathless. "Funny how my uniform doesn't quite fit so comfortably, now," Tom murmured, for Harry's ears only, as he saw Harry scowl, playfully, before passing him on the way to Ops. "Muzzle it, Cougar," he said softly, trying not to burst into laughter at Tom's look of surprise.  As he made his way to Ops, watching Tom watch him, his lover grinned, and headed for the Conn. Things went smoothly, the day quiet, before Janeway called a meeting of the senior staff, for progress reports and updates on ship's business.  Harry and Tom had, unbeknownst to the rest of them, decided to see who could work the words 'yours', 'mine', and 'ours' into the conversation the most. Harry's attempts were so blatant, that he had nearly everyone looking at him in bewilderment, save for Tom, who was valiantly trying not to break up, laughing, at some of the stretches Harry had to come up with. As they left, the two of them were out the door first, but didn't leave quickly enough to prevent the others from overhearing their discussion. "Twenty-two to seventeen, I win," Harry tried not to crow. "Yes, and you were so *subtle* about it, too," Tom teased in good humor. "Oh, bite me, Cougar," Harry said, with fond crossness. "Later, Lover," Tom growled in his ear loud enough for everyone behind them to hear. "After all, you won."  With that and a snarled, "Mrrrrowwwww," purred loudly in Harry's ear, he sauntered back to his post, noting, and loving, the way Harry's face flushed behind him. His lover sighed, rubbed shaking hands over his face, and tried to walk nonchalantly to his post, as though he didn't have the mother of all erections to contend with. B'Elanna looked at the dawning realization on the faces of the staff behind her, and grinned, saying, "Ain't love grand?"  The Captain and Commander sighed, shaking their heads as they wondered what those two would come up with next, and shared B'Elanna's smile, returning to their places on the bridge, secretly glad to be along for the ride. **********************************end