These characters and their environs on the X-Files belong 
to 1013 Productions and Chris Carter.  No infringement is 
intended.  I just want to play with the boys for a while 
before I let them go back to the lives they don't have on 
the show.  This is just for fun, no money is being made
from this.  

This story will eventually involve sex between two men, 
aka: slash.  If that is *not* your cup of tea, sweet as it 
is, then don't read it! (simple, ain't it??)

Feedback is *very* much appreciated, and always answered. 
Flames will be passed around to friends and chuckled over.  :)

Eleventh in the Tapestry Series.  You might want to read the 
others first, just so we're all on the same page, here.

For Sickleweed, who wanted a story with a happy ending for 
the boys.  This will be about as close as I can get.  And 
for Desiree, who wanted a story where Krycek doesn't die.  
And for Toddie, for every other reason.

Possibly a hankie warning, for this one.

More to come...

Weft - Rattling  by Amirin <groh@iquest.net>  #137

***********************

I woke up just enough to snort a bug out of my nose, then 
remembered where I was and checked the time.  It was still 
reasonably early;  if I wanted to, I could run over to the 
diner and grab dinner.

It didn't take long to decide I wanted to.

Still, I didn't move.  I watched the sun shine through the 
trees, enjoyed the illusory idyll of peace and time.  Noticed 
the utter lack of stress and didn't miss it.  

Listened to the ducks and the sounds of children playing, 
nothing to interrupt the seamless flow of their lives but 
the changing of the seasons and the ending of another 
school year.  

The children, I mean.  Not the ducks.

How had Alex gotten from Riverview to wherever the hell he was,
now?  What had shattered his innocence, his belief that the 
world was his oyster?  What road had he taken, strewn with 
rocks and hidden tree roots and dark, less traveled paths? 
And why had he taken it?

And why hadn't I asked him?  Why hadn't I made him a party to 
the refrain that played in an unending loop through my mind?

Why did you kill my father?

Why did you help kill Melissa Scully?

Why did you let them take Dana?

Why did they return her months later, near death and incapable 
of ever having children?

Why did you save my life?

And why did you save it, again?

And again?

And yet again?

And, gee, while I'm asking, what the hell do you want from me?

I didn't have the answers.  I wasn't even sure that answers 
to these questions existed.  Or that he'd give them to me, 
if I asked.

Was that why I *hadn't* asked?  The fear that the answer was 
as simple as 'Because they told me to.'?  Or as complicated 
as 'Because I wanted to.'?

I needed to know.  Something.  *Anything*.  And the man who 
could tell me was god only knew where, doing god only knew what.

I sighed and heaved myself to my feet, wondering why I just 
couldn't leave it alone.

Was I so buried in the past that only exhumation could pull me 
into the present, let alone the future?

I thought and pondered and debated all the way back to the car.
And all the way back to the diner.  And all through the pot 
roast and the apple pie a la mode.  And all the way back to 
Dr. Keng's place.

And I sat in the Auburn and stared at his building, a huge, 
old brownstone that had been divided up into four separate 
dwellings, and wondered if Alex were welcome here.  If he had 
his own key.  Or if he simply broke in when he wanted, needed 
to.

I parked in the carport and headed for the door.  He buzzed me 
in automatically.  Second story, rear apartment.

"Agent Mulder, you're right on time."

"Promptness is a virtue."

He had a nice laugh and looked somewhat surprised at what passed 
for my sense of humor.  I had to wonder what the hell Alex had 
told him.

"Come on in."

I followed him into the living room, taking in the huge ceilings,
the brick walls, the floors clean enough to go barefoot on, the 
furniture, including some heirloom pieces...He just let me look
around with a bemused grin on his face.  It felt like a home.  
And a beautiful one.

"Nice place," I murmured, settling on one end of the sofa.  He 
took the other one, gracefully curling one leg under himself.

"Thanks.  Less maintenance than a house and we love the 
neighborhood.  Great frozen custard, around the corner," he 
grinned and nodded at the picture of himself on the mantel 
with a child, a little girl.  Serious expression on her face, 
but mischief in her eyes.

"Your daughter?"  Sometimes I live for asking the obvious.

"Bonnie's just turned three.  About a week after her birthday, 
she somehow became 'almost four'," he smiled for a moment.  
"But, you didn't come all this way to talk about my angel."

"Alex Krycek's been called many things, most of them by me, but 
'angel' isn't one of them," I answered wryly.  Again, he seemed
surprised when he found himself laughing, but sobered quickly.

"Alex is many things," he said quietly.  "And, for me, and 
Bonnie, 'angel' *is* one of them."

"Why is that?" I frowned, turning a little to meet him more
face-to-face.

"He saved her life, Agent Mulder."

Whoa.

"Call me Fox, Doctor.  Please."  Can't believe I can say that, 
now, without stuttering.  Shit, what he's done to me.

"Chae, then, Fox."

Chae looked at the picture for a silent moment before sighing 
and meeting my eyes again.

"Alex was...visiting us last year.  Around the holidays.  I was
working, trying to catch up so I could spend some time with my 
family.  A doctor doesn't have a lot of free time, especially 
a pediatrician in the middle of cold and flu season."

He trailed off and I nodded encouragingly.

"My wife, Teresa, and Bonnie were out with Alex, shopping, doing 
some last minute things.  Terry was driving.  They were heading 
home, taking Old Summer Hill Road, it's usually the cleanest 
when the weather turns foul, and it was snowing just a bit.  
Not enough to really accumulate, just enough to make the roads 
icy."

For some reason, I almost felt like moving closer to the guy.  
I thought I could see where this was going.  Obviously, the 
wife was no longer around.  And asking *that* particular 
question was totally beyond me.

"She was a good driver.  She would have been fine.  If it hadn't 
have been for the deer."

He smiled sadly at my flinch.

"I'm so sorry."

Chae nodded slowly and sighed, eyes flicking back to the picture
on the mantel.

"She swerved to avoid hitting the damned thing and slid off the 
road.  It was the only thing she could do.  The deer might have 
gone through the windshield. Could've killed them all.  Anyway, 
the car rolled, slammed into a tree, and the gas tank ruptured."

"Ohh, god," I had to look away.

"Yeah," he swallowed heavily.  "The car landed on its side with 
Alex's door up, so he got out okay, injured, but ambulatory.  
The fire beat him back three times, but he got Bonnie out 
through the rear windshield.  Damned near melted the prothesis 
off to do it, but he did it, god bless him."

He had to stop and I didn't say anything, couldn't.  

"He couldn't...he couldn't get Terry out, Fox.  Short of moving 
the car, which he actually tried to do, believe it or not, he 
couldn't get her out.  She was pinned in the car, her side was 
caved in, another tree was blocking the front windshield, and 
he couldn't get her out the back.  It was hotter than hell, it 
had to've been.  Scorchmarks on the tree were twenty feet
high.  You can still see them, to this day."

Another pause, to drag his hand through his hair.

"He'd put Bonnie down a safe distance away, in case the car 
exploded, and tried to find a way to get my wife out.  He 
couldn't do it.  There was no way; if there had been, he'd 
have found it.  There's never been any doubt in my mind.  I 
*know* it.  Just as I know that he couldn't let her suffer.
She was conscious and he just couldn't let her suffer, Fox. 
And she would have been in agony, until either the car blew 
up or she...burned to...death.  Help was at least twenty 
minutes away.  An eternity..." 

Chae trailed off.  I stayed quiet, letting him tell me what he 
needed to at his own pace.

"The human brain is well-insulated and protected, did you know 
that?" he asked me in a whisper.

I nodded.  Yeah, I knew that, my former partner had been a 
forensic doctor.  Who'd thanked god for my hard head more than 
once.

"It's about the last part of the body to be destroyed, in cases 
of fire.  And functions until the last possible moment, sending 
pain signals throughout the body, as it burns."
  
I knew that, too.  Fire was my enemy; I hated it.  And I had all 
but profiled the hell out of it, back at Oxford.  I knew what
it could do to a human being.

"The heart is also well-protected.  It keeps working, keeping...
keeping the person alive..."

Chae didn't go on and I just stared numbly back at him as he 
looked at me fiercely, waiting for me to get it, waiting for 
the light to dawn.  Hell, I didn't *want* to get it, but he 
was ruthless.

"I've never been so grateful in my life for the fact that Alex 
goes nowhere without a gun."

"Oh, my god!"

I could barely get enough air to breathe with, let alone speak.

"He had no choice, Fox.  None.  And I couldn't hate him for it, 
I just couldn't.  The man had been closer than family to me for 
years.  He'd have hacked off his *other* arm, if it had meant 
saving Terry.  I knew that.  He didn't even have to tell me 
what he'd done, the fire had destroyed the evidence, but he 
did.  Later, here."

He answered my unspoken question immediately.

"He left the scene as soon as the ambulance got there.  He 
couldn't go to the ER with Bonnie; he was still wanted by all 
manner of people, good and not-so-good.  And any report of him 
would have sent the alarm bells off."

"What about Bonnie?" I asked.

"She was burned across her chest and down one arm, but not 
dangerously injured.  And she wasn't talking much.  Shock and 
fear.  She couldn't even say her own name, really, so no one 
knew who she was.  Someone finally recognized her, got a hold 
of me and I stayed in the ER with her until she was asleep 
and they shooed me out.  I hated letting them, but I had to
find Alex.  When I came home, there he was, almost unconscious 
and still fully-clothed, in the bathtub."

He shook his head and sighed.

"He was such a wreck about Terry, he didn't realize how bad off 
he was.  I tried to get his prosthetic off without taking any 
more of him with it than necessary.  It had melted to the rest 
of his arm.  Fortunately, he'd had the presence of mind to ice 
it and, following so soon after the heat stress from melting, 
it mostly cracked right off him."

I winced, I couldn't help it.

"If he hadn't had it, I don't know if he'd have been able to 
bear the heat of the fire on that arm long enough to get Bonnie 
out.  That was the one he used to free her from the child 
seat," he mused quietly.

"I helped him get a new prosthetic, for when his arm healed 
enough to wear it, and divided my time between him and Bonnie 
as they both recovered and the three of us grieved and tried 
to go on with the business of living.  Alex stayed into late 
January, not wanting to leave us alone over Christmas, which 
was bad enough without Terry.  It would've been unbearable
without him.  Bonnie adores him."

He smiled when I did and his was just as shaky as mine.

"She's too young to remember most of it.  But she knows her 
mommy died the week before Christmas."

There wasn't a damned thing I could do as his eyes filled again. 
Except move a little closer to where he was.

"You know what she did, what she told Alex she wanted for her
birthday?"

I just shook my head.

"She asked him to find her an angel that looked like her mommy,
for the Christmas tree, can you believe it?  And he did.  He 
did..." he covered his eyes with his hands, shuddering.  "I'm 
sorry."

"No, *I'm* sorry.  God, Chae, I'm so sorry.  I never meant to..."

"It's not your fault, Fox," he corrected me quickly as he wiped 
his eyes.  "I knew I'd have to talk about it.  Only Alex and I 
knew what really happened, until now."

"Why did he want you to tell me?"

"So you'd understand, that even when he is forced to do terrible
things, there's always a damned good reason.  Always.  He just 
wanted you to know that."

I nodded.  I knew he had good reasons.  To him, anyway.  I just 
wasn't always sure about his motives.  But it gave me something 
to think about, I guess.

We sat in silence for a few moments.  God, what Alex had had to 
do shook me.  Badly.  It really made me wonder if I wanted my 
questions answered, after all.

"Can we talk tomorrow?" I asked Chae quietly, seeing his gaze 
still resting on the photograph of him and Bonnie.  I figured 
he needed some time alone, right then.

"Yes, thank you," he murmured gratefully, reaching out to take 
my hand.  "And thanks for listening, Fox.  He said you were good 
at that.  You studied psychology, right?  Oxford?"

"Yes.  Criminal Psychology," I explained.

"Ever think about going into private practice?" he asked with 
what almost passed for a smile.

"Sometimes," I admitted with a shrug.  

I let him go and we both stood.

"You going to be okay?"

"Eventually," he murmured.  "Think I'll go watch Bonnie sleep 
for a while.  Incredibly therapeutic."

His sad smile echoed mine for a moment, enough to let me know 
it was okay to leave him.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"I'm looking forward to it, Fox."

"I'm looking forward to hearing about Alex."

"You want dirt?" he asked with a shaky grin.

"I want dirt," I grinned back.

"I got dirt."

"Then, I'm really looking forward to it."

He chuckled a little as he walked me to the door.

"Around lunchtime?  One okay?  Come hungry."

"Sounds good.  I'll see you then."

We shook hands and I left, slowly walking to where I'd left 
the car.  I was so damned drained and distracted I didn't 
even notice the note on the windshield until I'd gotten in 
and put the key in the ignition. 

I whipped it out from under the wiper blade and opened it.  
Shit, he was *here*, had been right *here*.

//
Drive around the block slowly.  Come back here and go up 
to Chae's.  Ten minutes.  Minimum.

A
//


~~~end