"This isn't happening..." Todd hissed to himself through clenched teeth, his panic rising. "It can't happen... It's not real..." Forsaking the useless battle, he stood stiffly, sweating and gasping for air, still locked in Peter's merciless grip. Waves of pin prick chills surged through his body as Peter's icy hand kept slipping further and further down. Todd groaned, still pleading piteously with his own consciousness. "It's just a dream... Oh God, it's just a dream... Let it be a dream..." Suddenly, for the first time, he became acutely aware that he was naked. Panicking, he tried to lunge forward, but Peter's grip was firm and unbreakable.

His bid for freedom blocked, Todd quit struggling and tried to compose his ravaged mind. Massive waves of revulsion rolled through him, dissipating in choking, soundless sobs that shook his body involuntarily. He felt faint, overwhelmed mentally and physically with feelings of devastation, helplessness. He wanted to run away, to hide, to make himself disappear--but there was no way to get free...no way to end the gruesome nightmare...

"What's the matter, Todd?" Peter taunted nastily, rubbing his hand across the flinching muscles of the younger man's stomach. "You never used to put up this much of a fight." He pulled Todd against him, wedging the younger man's right shoulder securely into his chest. His hand slid down over his son's genitals, squeezing tightly, forcing a shuddering gasp from Todd's lips. Peter surveyed the younger man's face at close range, watching as the dry, racking sobs that were shaking his body sent small tremors twisting across his features. Todd refused to look up at him, forcing his eyes straight ahead, focusing on nothing...

Peter smiled wistfully. "You're even more beautiful now than you were as a child," he observed softly, flattening his hand and pulling it up across the underside of Todd's penis. "You've always been so beautiful...too beautiful to be male...too beautiful to be real," he breathed, moving his face closer still. He watched a tear swell in the corner of Todd's eye...then watched it roll, dislodged by a violent shiver, down his son's scarred cheek...

Crouching, Peter lifted Todd slightly, pressing his mouth to the side of Todd's face in a gentle kiss, catching the wayward tear. Ending the kiss, he studied Todd's face carefully, still hugging him firmly to his body. "All those women...you're right, boy...I didn't give a shit about them. They were just diversions, just a way to pass the time..." he hissed coldly. "It was you... It was always you... You were the one I wanted. Your face, your body were what I dreamed of...what I craved," he whispered tensely, lips hovering near Todd's ear...

"So perfect..." he breathed, releasing Todd's genitals to explore the firm muscles of his torso again. "Such a lean, hard body...the feline grace..." He straightened, looming over Todd, his hand sliding slowly up his son's chest to rest on his throat. He embedded his thumb and forefinger under Todd's jaw, on either side, forcing him to tip his head back. "Those hazel eyes, so wild, so expressive...that damn mouth..." He paused, staring down at Todd's lips hungrily, his face inching slightly closer. "Such an amazing face, so many contrasts--hard, masculine--yet soft, childlike...even feminine." His lips drew back in a cruel smile. "You're impossible to resist, Todd," he said softly. "I thanked Victor every day for giving you to me..." His eyes stole covetously over the younger man's features, lingering on his mouth again. He twisted Todd's head away slightly, exposing the side of his face and throat. Pausing, he gazed silently at his flinching captive for another long moment, then kissed Todd roughly below the ear...and again lower on the neck...

Shaking violently, breathing in rasping, ragged, little gasps--Todd withstood the assault, helpless to stop the loathsome, disgusting pawing. At the touch of Peter's lips on his skin, his eyes rolled slowly back in his head and he felt himself sinking, becoming limp and nerveless in his father's steel grip. He suddenly welcomed the ever rising pain, the nausea and dizziness that were now threatening to consume him... Please kill me... a frightened little voice pleaded, whispering out of the depths of his mind... Please, please kill me...let me die... I deserve to die... You should have killed me long ago... Do it...do it now, God...do it...!

*  *  *  *

Téa couldn't breathe. Her defenses down, she was sinking into a sweet, suffocating abyss of unleashed passion. His escalating arousal triggered and fueled her own, igniting her hot blood. His warm mouth sought hers unrelentingly, while his body trembled urgently against her. As his fingers touched softly between her legs, she felt herself slipping away, losing the uncomfortable battle with her conscience. A shudder of excitement pulsed through him, surging uncontrollably into his kiss as his fingers made contact with her. He pushed heavily against her mouth, sinking his tongue in deeply as his body reacted spontaneously to the pleasurable sensations. After a moment, his feelings and the kiss became too intense for him to handle. He released her lips with a soft moan, rolling his head to the side slightly, but keeping his face pressed tightly against hers. Eyes closed, his breath warm across her mouth and chin, he gently stroked her delicate wetness with his fingertips...

Téa's conscience came crashing back into her with a vengeance. His eagerness, his extreme trembling desire spoke of something disturbing in her mind--desperation--the desperate need of a cruelly abused child to prove himself, to be loved, valued...to be found worthy. An urgent need to protect him surfaced in her mind, leaving her confused and uneasy as he began to kiss her greedily again. In spite of her deep, aching desire to have him, the inherent "wrongness" of the whole situation made her cringe with guilt inside. Feeling his fingers tenderly exploring, positioning, guiding himself inside her, she suddenly panicked. "Todd... Tom... No, wait... Please!" she gasped out between kisses that were growing in intensity to a feverish pitch...

Abruptly, he stopped and looked down at her, his own breathing rough and labored. "What...? Am I doing something wrong? Am I hurting you...?" he asked, concern flashing immediately in his eyes...

"No... no, you're not hurting me," she reassured him softly, buying time to think with an easy excuse. "But you're moving too fast... Please...we need to slow down." She reached down and gently pulled his hand from between their bodies...

"You don't want me to...?" he asked, confused and wounded by her rejection. "I thought you wanted it... I thought you wanted me..."

"Of course I want you..." she sighed, bringing his hand up to her face. God, if you only knew how much...she thought privately. She planted a soft, reassuring kiss in the hollow of his palm to let him know that she had loved his touch. "That's just the problem. I want you...we want each other...too much..."

"That's a problem?" he laughed gently, his distress easing. Wrinkling his nose, he whispered teasingly, "I don't think I have a problem with that..." Before she could speak, his lips met hers again, cutting off any chance of a reply. This time the contact was prolonged and extremely delicate, melting her resolve in warm, moist waves of infinite tenderness. "How's that?" he asked huskily, releasing her lips, but not moving back. He smiled at her sweetly, merriment dancing in his eyes... "See... I can do slow. I can do it anyway you want, Téa..." The smile faded as he held her gaze. His eyes, alive with desire, pleaded silently with her as he moved to kiss her again. "Just let me...do it..." he breathed softly as his lips touched hers...

He gathered her up forcefully this time, sliding his hands under her shoulders and neck. The kiss was deep and passionate, definitely not the kiss of a fourteen year old. Téa felt herself swept away again in spite of her misgivings, felt her body and mind begin to merge with his physically and emotionally. Even though a restless, doubtful part of her still protested...there was no way that she could fight off his advances, that she could put a stop to this gentle seduction. His sensitivity, his tenderness comforted and overwhelmed her to the point where she had little control. As his warm mouth softly urged her on, she finally gave up her inner struggle and surrendered to him completely...

"Téa!" he whispered tensely, releasing her lips abruptly in the middle of another deep kiss. "Something's happening... Something's not right...!"

"What... What is it?" Téa asked quickly, an icy chill of apprehension slicing through her. "Is...is he coming back...?"

"No... I... I don't think so... But, something's wrong... Something really bad is happening..." he said slowly, his eyes going blank as he turned his attention inward...

He focused on her again, despair registering on his face. "I don't think I can do this right now...there's too much going on... I... Téa?" His grip on her tightened, fear quenching the warmth in his eyes. "God...!" he gasped out suddenly, slamming his palm into his temple as pain descended on him in black, stinging torrents. His body twisted against her as he cried out again in agony, clutching his head with both hands now. "Make it stop...make it stop!" he groaned, gritting his teeth and squeezing his eyes shut...

Panic and confusion engulfed Téa as she tried to comfort him. "What's wrong...what's happening?" she cried. She reached to touch his face, but he pulled away, still clutching his skull in torment. She watched helplessly as he suffered for several long, agonizing moments. Then she felt his body relax slightly against her, saw the pain finally begin to subside in his face... "Are...are you okay?" she whispered anxiously, stroking his cheek...

"I...I think so..." he murmured weakly, visibly shaken and subdued. "My head felt like thousands of electric shocks were hitting it...all at once. I...I felt like I was dying." He looked at her suddenly, realization dawning in a violent upsurge of fear. "Téa..." he whispered, terror darkening his eyes. "Do you think that's it...do you think I'm gonna die? I've...I've had this funny, scared feeling ever since Todd came here tonight...I knew something bad was gonna happen..."

"Shhhh, don't talk like that, querido..." Téa countered, caressing his face softly, suppressing the crawling fear that was inching up her spine. "You're not going to die. That's not going to happen..."

He sucked his breath in sharply, then threw his head back as his body went rigid, pain ripping through him once again. He shuddered violently, shifting his weight against her in slow, spasmodic jerks. Téa flinched as he slid to his left, pulling her with him. Rolling completely off of her and onto his side, he held her tightly against him as if pulling strength from her to fight his torment...

They lay side by side facing each other, enfolded in each other's arms. Fearful and shaken, Téa watched him in the flickering candlelight as his body strained against the pain. His eyes were closed, his face pinched and constricted with the torture he was enduring. As she studied him nervously, his facial muscles slowly began to relax again, the pain obviously receding. His face became smooth and soft again, like that of a sleeping child... How can you be so beautiful...and be so sick...? she thought desperately... How can you exist, Todd...? How is it possible that you've managed to survive all these years...?

As if he heard her thoughts, he opened his eyes and looked lovingly at her. "I guess I'll never know..." he murmured dejectedly...

"Know what?" she asked, struggling to keep her voice calm and steady...

"What it's like...to really make love," he answered evenly, mentally bracing himself as he felt the sting of electricity stirring in his head again. His eyes began to glaze over as he clamped down on his senses, trying not to feel what was happening...

"We were making love, querido," she whispered, the words catching as her throat constricted. She could see the pain returning to haunt his eyes. "The way you touch me, the way you look at me...kiss me..." Her voice faltered as she reached out to push the hair away from his face. "That's making love...that's the part that really counts..."

His eyes were wide and glassy with shock as he searched her face, trying to focus clearly. As the pricking tingles escalated into searing stabs of pain, he latched onto her voice for comfort in his agony. "What does that word mean," he asked suddenly, his voice strained and unsteady...

"What word," she replied, confused by his unexpected question...

"That Spanish word that you call me... What does it mean...?"

An icy web of fear fell over Téa's heart as she watched his suffering and panic grow. "Uh...the word, the word...? Querido...that word?" she stammered as he nodded his head. His eyes were totally desperate now. She could clearly see the terror building deep inside, could see the muscles in his face tensing with suppressed anguish. "Well...basically it means...'beloved.' It's a...a form of endearment..."

He smiled sadly at her, a glimmer of warmth lighting his eyes again. "It means you love me...right...?" His eyes closed as he struggled to handle the mounting pain. "I know what you said before, but there's more to it than that. Tell me...okay, Téa?" he whispered, opening his eyes again and pleading with her visually to keep talking. "Tell me what it's like...what it's like to...to really make love? I've come inside a woman before...I know what that feels like, but it's got to be different, it's got to better with someone you love. Please, tell me...tell me what it's like for you..."

Téa forced back the rising lump in her throat and cast about in her mind for the right words to help him... "Well...it's like...it's like..." She stopped, flustered, realizing the undeniable truth about all her past lovers. She looked into his eyes for a second, then smiled at him sadly, her own eyes filling with tears. "I...uh...guess I don't really know. I...I was hoping to find that out for myself...here...tonight..."

She looked away from him, tears spilling across her cheeks. His fingers touched her chin, pulling her face back to his, forcing her to look at him. Striving to control the pain, he reached out for her emotionally. "Don't be sad..." he whispered, searching her eyes. "Don't give up, please..."

At that precise moment, Téa saw a subtle change occur. His eyes became clear, calm, and infinitely gentle. Cold chills raised goose flesh along her arms as she realized that someone alien looked out at her from deep within him...someone she didn't recognize. "We love you..." his voice soothed, fluid and strong. "...all of us... We would never hurt you." His eyes fixed her with a tender, appraising regard as his fingers caressed her chin lightly... "No matter what happens...no matter what is said or done here...remember that...and believe." He held her eyes with his until she felt herself falling into his gaze, losing touch with reality...then softly he commanded... "The boy needs to come home... send him..." The moment passed and he was gone, as quickly as he had come, leaving Téa thoroughly shaken and bewildered, holding a suffering child in her trembling arms again...

"I love you..." he pleaded, apparently having no awareness of the sudden, dramatic intrusion. "You've...you've got to believe me...and hang on for a little while longer...okay?" He reached out for her, pulling her close, savoring the sweet smell of her, her softness, her warmth. "I...I think everything's gonna work out for you, Téa," he said shakily, trying to steady himself against a fresh bombardment of pain. Trembling, he nuzzled her face, then kissed her softly. "But, I'm...I'm scared... I don't think things are gonna be okay for me..." His voice cracked in a silent, racking sob as he gave in to his suffering and buried his face in her neck. "It hurts...it hurts so bad... I...I can't stand it..." he moaned, rubbing the side of his head against hers, trying to ease his torment...

The pain peaked, building to a screaming crescendo in his brain, forcing him to pull back from her. He fell against his pillow, panting raggedly, hair wound wildly about his face. As Téa reached out to smooth the hair away, his eyes snapped open suddenly, wide and vacant. His body went stiff for a second, then he grabbed her outreached hand and pushed her away roughly. "No...no...!" he gasped, his voice shaking with fear and revulsion. "No...don't touch me...don't touch me...! Don't...don't put your hands on me...! I don't want your hands on me...!" He clutched at his chest and neck, scratching and pulling frantically at something unseen...

Téa watched in amazement as he seemed to engage in a frenzied battle with some phantom aggressor. Unable to simply stand by and witness his hysteria, she tried to break into the heated battle, grabbing at his hands. "Todd...stop! What is it? What's the matter...? She cried, feeling his skin flinch and shudder as she touched him. "It's me, Todd... It's Téa... Look at me...look at me...!" she shouted, finally pulling his hands down away from his body...

For a moment his eyes focused on her, recognition dawning. "Téa...?" He grasped her arms, eyes wild with naked terror. "Téa, he's here! He's here! I thought he was gone forever...but he's here!" he hissed, pulling at her roughly. "He wants...he wants... No, no...! Téa, you've got to help me! Don't let him do it...don't let him!" he cried...

"Who... who's here?" Téa demanded, fearing that he meant the guardian was returning. "What are you talking about?"

"Dad... Daddy...he's here!" he whimpered, his voice suddenly becoming small and childlike. "He's gonna hurt me..." He moved closer to her and she automatically encircled him with her arms, drawing him in protectively. "Noooo! No, no...Please help me...please make him go away...please...!" he whispered piteously into her hair as she held him tight. "Please, please, please, Mama...don't let him...don't let him hurt me anymore...make him go away...!"

Téa's eyes flooded with tears again as she held him tightly to her, stroking his hair and his back gently. She felt like she was shattering into tiny little pieces inside. She wanted to scream, to run from the room and hide somewhere. His suffering was unbearable to watch. She almost wished that she didn't know the ugly secrets, that she had no understanding of the depth of his agony. But she did know...at least she knew some of it now...and she raged at herself in helpless fear and anger because she felt responsible for making things worse...

If only she had been more understanding, more patient with him from the beginning. If only she hadn't forced him into corners where he couldn't escape. Then maybe, just maybe he wouldn't have finally broken under the pressure and retreated into his illness so deeply. She hated herself for not taking his problems more seriously, for not paying more attention to his doctors, his treatment...for not having a clue how to help him deal with what was going on. She didn't even know who he was now...or who had talked to her earlier. She only knew, without a single doubt, that she loved him more than she had ever thought it possible to love a man...much more than she had ever imagined in her wildest fantasies about him...and that she would do whatever it took to help him survive--to help him through this long, bitter night...and all the days and nights to come...

Pulling herself together, she tried to assess the situation. She had no idea what was going on, but she knew he was fighting inside, grappling with his personal demons. There was nothing she could do about that, but she could address the immediate concern before her, the unspeakable suffering of what seemed to be a much younger boy. "It's all right, mijito," she said, forcing her voice to sound reassuring and calm. "Nothing can hurt you...not while I'm here..." Frantically she searched her mind for some way to help him, for some way to remove him from the unbearable place that he was in. As she cast about for a strategy, she suddenly remembered the words of the strange intruder earlier. "Todd..." she said softly, finally thinking of a way to phrase the suggestion. "You told me earlier that you used to sleep a lot when things got crazy...remember? I bet you have a special place to sleep that's really safe...don't you...?"

She felt him nod his head against her neck in affirmation. "Yeah," he said shakily, pulling back from her slightly. "I got a place that no one knows about..."

"Good..." Téa continued, gently. "Todd...listen to me. I want you to go there...now." A deep, yearning ache began to form inside her at the thought of losing him. She longed to have Tom back, to feel all that love pouring over her again, but she knew he had to go also, that the suffering of this child was his suffering, too. She had no idea if she was doing the right thing or not, but as he clung to her, whimpering softly and grabbing at his head in misery...she realized she had no choice. "You need to forget all about your dad. You need to forget about everything," she coaxed soothingly. "You just need to go to sleep for a little while and everything will be okay. No one can find you, no one can hurt you if you go to your secret place and sleep..."

"I don't want to leave. I want to stay here with you... I'm afraid you'll go away," he murmured plaintively, squeezing her so hard that she could barely breathe. "If I don't stay you'll disappear, you'll leave me like you did before..." He pulled back slightly and looked at her, suspicion mixing heavily with the fear in his eyes...

"No...you have to go...and you have to go now. I'll still be here, I promise...I'll always be here. I'm never going to leave you again," she whispered fiercely, touching his face with trembling fingers. "But you have to hide for a little while...and sleep...that's all. When you wake up, everything will be better. You'll be safe again, Daddy will be gone, and we'll be together forever, I promise..."

He studied her, weighing her words carefully. Slowly his expression of disbelief changed to a glimmer of hope, then to the loving glow of perfect trust. "Okay..." he whispered. He looked wistfully at her for a few moments, then slowly closed his eyes. Téa held back the sob that rose to her throat as she felt him slipping away from her. "I love you, mama..." he said softly, his body relaxing and snuggling against her... "I knew if you would just come back, if you would just come see about me...that you wouldn't let Daddy hurt me anymore..."

"I won't ever let anyone hurt you again," she whispered, smoothing his hair back from his face. After a few moments he became quiet and still, appearing to have drifted off to sleep. Téa began to relax a little as she felt the tension disappear from his body. Then she started uneasily as he suddenly opened his eyes and looked at her. The warm amber glow of total recognition returned, all the fear and shock vanishing. He moved his face close to hers, his lips touching hers softly. "I...love you... Téa," he whispered haltingly. Then the pain rose up to take him, savagely contorting his body against her. His breathing became labored, each breath punctuated with a small, helpless whimper...

"You have to go...you have to go now," she urged gently, kissing his face, forcing him to close his eyes again. "Go back where it's safe...where there's no pain..."

"I'll always love you..." he said slowly, his eyes still shut, his voice trailing away to silence... "...always..."

"I love you too, querido," she answered shakily, caressing his face gently with trembling fingers. The tears she had held back began to flow in earnest. She watched as his breathing slowed, becoming deep and even. Oh God...! Oh God...what's happening now...? she thought frantically... Is he really asleep...did he pass out...? I don't understand this...any of this... What should I do...? Should I try to go for help...? Should I just leave him alone and see what happens...?

She waited for several minutes, still stroking his face and hair tenderly, weighing the pros and cons of various actions she could take. Suddenly, as she watched him, she became frightened--uneasy with his silence, his unnatural stillness. She fought her rising panic as she contemplated the fact that he may have slipped into something much more dangerous than sleep. Instantly regretting her earlier decision, she tried to awaken him, praying that she would not be bringing any little boys back to face more torment. "Todd," she whispered, shaking him gently. "Todd, wake up... Are you okay?" Raising her voice, shaking him hard this time, she called to him again... "Todd, please...talk to me..." There was no reaction. He lay completely still, too still to be sleeping. Trembling, she placed her hand on his chest, feeling for his heart beat. Relieved, she felt the rhythm...steady, but very slow. For a few more minutes she vacillated, then she gave in to her fears, deciding that she had to try to get help. If he's passed out or slipped into some kind of coma, he needs medical attention... I can't just lie here and do nothing...

Slowly, she raised herself up and slid down to the foot of the bed. Standing, she moved to the small dresser where she had stored the clothing that she had intended to wear the next day. As she was rummaging through the drawer, a small sound suddenly made the hair on the back of her neck prickle. She froze, listening to the pounding of her pulse as it hammered in her ears. I'm imagining things...she thought, relaxing...if he was awake, he'd say something...it must have been one of the candles... Glancing over her right shoulder, she checked the candles on the far side of the room. As her eyes swept across the bed, trying to focus in the flickering light, her stomach lurched and tightened. Shaking inwardly, she searched the rumpled bed clothes with disbelieving eyes. The bed was vacant...there was no one lying there...

*  *   *  *

Todd tried to twist out of Peter's grasp, but the larger man held him firmly. "Easy, boy..." Peter soothed, his lips next to Todd's ear. "Easy..." He released Todd's jaw, moving his hand down to the buckle of his own belt. "Don't fight me... You know what happens when you put up a fight..." he threatened softly, unbuckling the belt and pulling it loose from his pants. With one hand he rolled the belt back on itself, threading the smooth end through the buckle to form a loop. He quickly slipped the loop over Todd's head and jerked it down tight around his throat. Holding Todd securely using the choking action of the belt, Peter let go of the younger man's neck.

Instantly, as he was released, Todd grabbed for the belt--but there was nothing there. His neck was totally bare, even though he could still feel the suffocating grip of the leather cutting off his air supply. He closed his eyes, trying to control the spasms of terror that rippled through his body. This is not real...he reasoned frantically... This is some kind of hallucination... Just calm down...calm down... Just breathe... But the panic that rose in his mind when Peter touched him was too strong, too overwhelming for him to handle...

He suddenly wished desperately that he had a drink, that he could drown himself in a river of scotch. Then he remembered that Peter liked him that way...drunk...as drunk as possible. Alcohol had rendered him submissive, compliant, even receptive to the sex games his father enjoyed. It made the whores seem beautiful, the assault on his young senses seem titillating and arousing. But most of all it had deadened the pain, diminishing the paralyzing horror of his father's attentions. He had learned to tolerate the taste early... It had been necessary to his survival...

"That's better...much better..." Peter whispered, smoothing the hair back away from Todd's face. "Look at you...sweating and quivering like a young stallion..." He spread his hand over Todd's throat again possessively, then slid it slowly down to rest on his chest. "I've missed you..." he sighed. "It's been too long since we've been together. You're different now...bigger, stronger...but I like that," he added, sadistically jerking the belt tighter. Smiling, he eyed his trembling prize. "Don't worry, boy..." he chuckled softly as he slipped his hand down across Todd's shrinking belly to his penis again. "...Daddy still knows how to take care of you..." Todd jerked as Peter's hand covered him, touching gently this time, slowly stroking and caressing...

As he submitted helplessly to the apparition's touch, Todd finally let his tenuous grip on sanity slip, surrendering to the madness all around him. His mind fractured, splintering into shifting, twisted facets like a distorted prism. He was surrounded instantly...ringed by a crazily tilting carousel of mirrored visions from his childhood. The glittering memories floated close and reached out their cloying fingers to strangle him as he felt the belt tighten around his neck. Lurid, nasty images flashed from facet to haunted facet in his consciousness...a little boy ran by, screaming for his mother...an older boy staggered, groaning--lost in a drunken fog of pain and horrifying arousal...

He prayed for annihilation as the shattered, jagged memories began to piece together in his mind, weaving a ghastly, circling tapestry of lifelong torture and perversion. Held spellbound by the depth of his own dementia--he noted, bemused, that the ugly fragments slipped into place by threes, equally balanced. Click, click, click--they came together, forming a foundation of filth and sickness in his soul--the putrid, rotting base of all his pain and sorrow...

First...came pieces of the darkness, the dead quiet of night, forever augmented and cruelly embellished with terror and crippling pain. Abandonment, betrayal, loneliness; these were his companions in the dark, the wounds that festered. Marathon hours in the grip of fearful dread, or dread realized in the form of malevolent punishments; this was all he knew. Piece by sickening piece the pictures formed in infinite blackness--the cramped, contorted, aching muscles--the smell of hair and skin melting, the tiny snaps of small, insignificant bones...fists, belts pounding and ripping--coming out of nowhere in the dark...the sound of muffled sobbing, the metallic taste of blood...

Next...came the glittering images of women, the shock of unnatural feminine intimacy crashing violently into his boyhood. Bits of titillated, confused embarrassment swirled past--memories of forbidden thrills--of raw, sexual stimulation. The feel of their hands, their mouths on him--the sudden, helpless arousals that made a mockery of his frightened protests; this was the haunted framework of his childhood. The distorted, painted faces flashed and sparkled before him. Their brittle laughter, their screams, groans of pleasure and pain echoed through his mind. Blurred, queasy visions materialized, the countless drunken euphorias of his high school years--Peter pouring bourbon down his teenaged throat and cheering him on as he learned to play the games, to go after women with the same hedonistic cruelty as his father...

Last...came the fears, the crucifixions of his soul. The devastating confusion, the gnawing uncertainties eating at him year after bitter year. Was he normal...was he male...was he a man? The desperate, overwhelming need to prove himself heterosexual consuming his thoughts, driving his behavior when he escaped from home. Each ugly incident clicked into its allotted slot in his tapestry of pain; each desperate primal encounter, each loveless consummation wrested from faceless, virgin schoolgirls--the brutal testaments in blood and semen that his insecurity demanded to prove true masculinity. Again and again the sweating, straining scenes from high school and college swirled into place before his eyes--the girls, the young women, the willing and the raped--the countless sacrifices needed to refute all the dreaded memories. The proof required to counter the shameful recollection of those secret, helpless urges that had stolen over him unbidden...as his father's hands caressed him in the dark...

His mind spinning, yielding to the catastrophic shock, Todd began to lose control of his body. His legs gave suddenly beneath him, but Peter cradled him as he fell. He clutched the younger man to him greedily, wrapping his long arm protectively about Todd's body as he took him down. They sank slowly to a kneeling position. Peter slid behind Todd, keeping one arm around his waist, the other hand still holding the belt taut about his neck. Todd lay against Peter's chest, gasping and choking--fighting the nausea that gripped him...

Peter pulled the hair back from Todd's face, as the younger man struggled weakly to move away. His dizziness lifting, Todd started violently and fought harder to get up. But Peter was still there, his long arm twined securely around his son's waist, holding him firmly against his body. Todd threw his weight against Peter's arm, trying to pull away from the embrace, but the belt tightened, threatening to snap his neck. "No...no, just calm down...you're not going anywhere," Peter soothed, moving his face in tight against Todd's neck. "You can't leave now...We're just getting started." His lips twisted up in a hideous grin beside Todd's ear as he began to rock him slowly in his arms... "You're mine, boy..." he hissed venomously. "...all mine..."

*  *   *  *

There was no sound in the cabana except the soft music that still floated serenely from the speaker system. Téa stared at the vacant bed a moment longer, then closed her eyes in silent prayer as she turned back slowly to the open drawer. She couldn't look, couldn't bring herself to open her eyes as she faced the mirror on the wall before her...

"Going somewhere, princess...?" he said softly, his breath warm against her ear...

To be continued...