Disclaimer: For the love of Kevin Willaimson...uh, I mean, God, do you really
think I own Dawson's Creek?! Or Brandy's song?! Jeez, and I thought you were
smart enough to know that I didn't own 'em.
Author's Note: This story is again told from Dawson's point of view and is set
1 year after the previous installment of this series, ("Heartbreak Hotel.")
Also, flashbacks, and something to show that a word is being
enunciated are in **, so you'll have to figure that one out on your own.
Help
Have you ever loved somebody so much
When I checked my mailbox that fateful day, I expected to find the
usual...bills, junk, magazines...and with all of that I found along with one
thing that would change my life forever. I closed my eyes, letting the tears
roll freely down my cheek. Why do I love her so much? I thought bitterly to
myself.
Have you ever needed something so bad
That night, I went to sleep feeling something I hadn't felt in a long time.
The need of Joey beside me.
It had been a year since the reunion when I left her standing there, and no
matter how hard I tried, I couldn't fall out of love. And I still don't
understand why she hurt me.
"Have you ever tried to find the words but they don't come out right?" I
asked Pacey over the phone the next day. He always called me on Sundays.
Have you ever tried the words
But the question I needed to ask him hadn't been inquired yet.
"Dawson, get over her!" he exclaimed.
"But Pacey...from what I know, you've never been in love so bad you'd do
anything to make them understand."
Have you ever been in love
Pacey, desperate for a change a subject, brought up the one thing I had
dreaded all morning.
"Did you get my invitation?"
"You, of course, invited Joey, correct?" was my instant response.
"I couldn't *not* invite her, Dawson. She was my friend to some degree all
those years ago."
"I knew that was coming. Just *please*...at all costs, help me avoid seeing
her! Because she stole my heart and I'd give anything to make her feel the
same...even though I know she never will."
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
"Dawson, I know you got hurt by her, and I know you got hurt *really* badly,
but you need to move on. You need to pick your life up and move on." I
closed my eyes, losing the trust Pacey once held in my eyes. What was I going
to do, now that I couldn't trust anyone?
"And the only thing I ever wondered was why? Why would you hurt the one who
loved you?"
"I..." she trailed off, obviously not having a reason for the most
destructive act of the twentieth century.
"I thought so," I cut her off. "I'll see you, Joey."
I got into my car and drove off. Away from Capeside. Away from Joey. Away
from my past.
"But Pacey, you'll never know how this feels. How I've felt for the past 14
years. I mean, have you ever searched for words to get you into someone's
heart...but you don't know what to say?"
Have you ever searched for words to get you into their heart
"And you don't know where to start?" I asked him.
And you don't know where to start
"Look, I'm sorry I can't sympathize with you, and I'm sorry Miss Josephine
broke your heart. But she's married. She has a child. You know what it's
like when a parent has an affair."
Him saying that brought back the pain of my mother's affair and how it ruined
my parent's marriage...and how I lost Joey when I needed her the most. Tears
began to well up in my eyes, and, me being alone, I let them flow.
Have you ever loved somebody so much
I silently sobbed, but I knew I couldn't leave Pacey dangling. "I...have to
go, Pace. I'll see you at the wedding, okay?"
"Kay, Dawson. And in the meantime, get *over* Josephine Johns."
"Goodbye, Pacey." I put the phone back in the receiver and continued to sob.
My sleep that night, (or lack thereof,) was filled with worry and confusion.
I shook my head, ashamed at myself for holding on to something so long that
everyone knew I needed to let go of. But it was the only thing in my life I
was able to hold onto...how could I just throw that away?
Have you ever needed something so bad
It was all too much to handle. I had, little by little, just begun to get
over Joey, when *this* had to happen. But it told me one important thing: I
would never get over her. If only she could realize that.
"Have you ever tried to find the words but they don't come out right?!" I
yelled at a picture of Joey and myself from when we were 15.
Have you ever tried to find the words
5 weeks later...
I was there. I couldn't turn back, now that I was in Capeside for Pacey and
Andie's wedding. I could only sigh, telling myself it would all be over in a
few days. It, after all, would be. But what would those few days bring me?
"Dawson!" I heard a voice demand my immediate attention.
I turned around and came to face Pacey. "Hey, Pace, where's And?"
"She couldn't come, but someone else could..." he trailed off.
"Who?" I asked him.
Pacey turned and motioned for someone to come. I thought of all the
possibilities...but the one who came forth wasn't among them.
"Hi, Dawson," Joey greeted me timidly.
If looks could kill, the one I shot Pacey with would have murdered him
brutally. So many things went through my head at that moment, but there was
one that stood out.
Pacey, how could you do this to me? You don't know what I go through,
knowing she doesn't love me, knowing she's happy with someone else. Knowing
the one you've dreamed of all your life doesn't feel the same way. Knowing
she doesn't want to have anything to do with me, knowing she wouldn't give
everything to look into my eyes as I do her, I thought, closing my eyes
slowly.
Have you ever found the one
I swallowed, not wanting to give a sign I was nervous, but this was too much
to balance on my weak shoulders. Those shoulders had been through so much,
and had always coped with the weight that had been put on them before, but not
now. They were too tediously worked to continue.
"Joey," I acknowledged.
"Um, bags, Dawson," Pacey reminded me.
"Oh, yes, bags-of course," I stammered.
We got my bags, and Pacey the champion driver was taking us home. Heaven
help us all.
"So, Dawson, Joey, what do say to a game of Truth or Dare?" Pacey inquired
smugly.
"Okay..." I hesitated, not knowing what would happen.
"Sure, Pace," Joey replied.
"Okay, I'll go first," Pacey declared. "Dawson, truth or dare?"
"Truth," I told him uncertainly.
"Alright...have you ever found the one you gave your heart to, only to find
that they won't give their heart to you?"
Have you ever finally found the one you've given your heart to
I inhaled sharply. How could I answer that without Joey knowing?
"Actually, I have," I responded, hoping Joey wouldn't figure it out.
"Alrighty," Pacey smiled devilishly. "Your turn."
"Joey," I inhaled, turning to face her. "Truth or dare?"
"Uh, truth," she returned, with a look in her eyes pleading not to ask an
embarassing question.
"Okay...have you ever closed you eyes and dreamed that the one person was
there?" I asked her, dead serious. Because I know I have.
Have you ever closed your eyes and
"Yes," she answered, thankful that the qusetion wasn't too embarassing.
"Well, Joey, all you can do is wait for the day that they will care. Or did
you wait too long?" I retorted.
All you can do is wait for that day when they will care
"Because they come around to it but then they get their heart broken," I
added with a sad tone.
The game continued, but I didn't pay much attention. All of that was
directed on Joey. What did I have to do to get her into my arms? To get
myself into her heart?
What do I gotta do to get you into my arms
Because I would do anything.
"Shit!" I heard Pacey cry. "It's so cold outside, the damn car broke down!"
"Pace, my house is kinda close to here," Joey offered.
"Okay, but Dawson beware-it's cold," Pacey warned me. And as soon as I
stepped outside, I almost screamed, but refrained from the action.
"Oh Christ, it's cold," I muttered. As I continued to walk, I got colder and
colder and more in need of someone next to me. That someone would obviously
be Joey. But she didn't understand...no, she didn't understand at all.
To make you understand how I need you next to me
At the moment I fainted, a startling realization came to me. I needed Joey
in my world. I was nothing without her. That realization was like being hit
in the gut.
Gotta get you into my world
"Dawson! Please, please wake up!" I heard Pacey beg softly.
While in my sleep, I had bad dreams. That Joey hated me, that she and Josh
were forever. If I had been counsious, I wouldn't have been able to sleep.
'Coz baby I can't sleep
Well, duh, it's going to be continued, so look for the next part in "In The
Heat of The Night: Part 4 of my action-packed-critically-acclaimed-drama."
(Hey, it won an award!)
It makes you cry
cordially invite you to the wedding of their children
Pacey James and Andie Nicole
You can't sleep at night
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
You'd give anything to make them feel the same
But you don't know what to say
It makes you cry
You can't sleep at night
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever
you've dreamed of all your life
You'd do anything to look into their eyes
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Dreamed that they were there
What do I gotta do to get into your heart
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