Summary: Joey sets about to wreck the wedding.
Author's Notes: I'm so sorry about getting behind in these stories. I am planning out a new series too at the moment – a Pacey and Joey one. But I'm really busy with school, and all the clubs and meetings I go to, as well as a new part time job! I'm turning into a cross between Joey and * gulp * Andie!

Thanks To: Stacie, who sends me feedback quite often now. Alison, a real life friend for putting up with me when I'm in my really weird moods. Emily for always making me come down to earth with a bump when I'm up in the clouds. And Spook Muldy for writing the last part to 'Kiss The Rain'.

'Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.'

Joey sat on the curb of the sidewalk, ignoring the drizzle and the darkness of the night, and took a deep, satisfying drag on her cigarette. She turned her face upwards, towards the sky that was smattered in stars. She blew the smoke out in a long stream. She ran one hand through her long curly dark hair and breathed in the warm sweet taste again.

"Those things will kill you," a voice called. Someone sat beside her on the kerbstone. It was Bessie.

"Live fast, die young," Joey replied cynically. "Want one?"

"No, Joey. So what are you doing out here? It’s raining."

"It’s raining, raining in my heart," Joey sang back. She took another drag and then looked at Bessie.

"What’s up? You’re scaring me, Jo," Bessie said. Joey sighted and ran her hand through her hair again.

"It’s happening again," Joey said cryptically.

"What is?"

"I can feel it. I can’t stand losing him again. I won’t be able to cope. I’ll have another breakdown." Joey saw the confusion pass over Bessie’s face. "Bessie, I’m really screwed up. I take medicine every day to stop myself going over that edge. But every time I see him, I can feel myself going nearer that edge. Because I know I won’t be able to get him. He’s getting married for Christ’s sake. To a woman I can’t stand. She is the antithesis of me. She’s spoilt, she’s petite, and she has mental health… And as much as I want Dawson, I can’t compete."

"Jo… you don’t have to compete. Surely you know that? He wants you. He always has done. And you’re not screwed up. Please don’t say that. Because if you are, it’s my fault."

"Bess! That’s not true. If anyone’s responsible, it’s that bastard father of ours. Or mine. But you tried. You did the best you could. You’re the only one who’s ever loved me."

"Not true," Bessie said quietly. "Dawson loves you. Pacey, Jen, Andie and Jack love you. Dad loves you. Mum loved you. Gail and Mitch love you. And I don’t doubt that other people you’ve met do, too."

"Dawson had a teenage crush that I forced on him. My friends… I haven’t seen them for years. They took a big step back once I started to go mental and went against Dawson’s wishes. Dad… if he loved me, he wouldn’t have gone back to drugs. We should have been enough to keep him on the straight and narrow. Mum died. Gail and Mitch will always hate me. I killed their grandchild. You know they haven’t spoken to me tonight? For all Gail’s big words the other day, she obviously just wants to keep Dawson happy. And that means marrying Josephine. And other people? I doubt any of the men I’ve dated loved me. The nearest I came to that was the bloke who picked me up in Las Vegas. And even then, he couldn’t go through with it. Face it. I push everyone I care about away. And I hurt them. And I’ve lost Dawson because of that."

"Jo… I don’t know what to do. You’re a grown-up. You’re not my kid sister anymore. And despite us both sharing the same childhood, I know that it’s different for you. You’ve done and experienced things I never have. You have this screwed up perception and yet you still have this fiery passion inside you. I don’t know how to help you. I wish I could. But all I can do is tell you that I love you. You’re my sister. Dad loves you. And Dawson loves you. Those are three truths that you have to accept. Please listen to that. We love you."

Bessie got up and walked back inside. Joey wiped at her eyes to stop the tears that were burning her eyes from ruining her makeup. Then she stubbed out the cigarette and got off the kerbstone. She brushed down the dress and sighed. She was so… tired. Tired of feeling like she did. Tired of waxing lyrical about getting Dawson back. She was bored with worrying what her old friends and family thought of her now. She was ready to show them. Ready to have fun again. She could remember the nights she spent dancing, high on dope and too drunk to realise what she was doing. While that wasn’t exactly ideal, it had been fun. And she hadn’t spent a moment worrying about whether Dawson would ever kiss her again.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pacey smiled as Joey spun round. He didn’t know what had got into her, but she was definitely happier than she had been earlier. He could see why Dawson was so fascinated by her. It was funny. In his adolescence, he’d always thought that Joey was a little whiney and uptight. But age had improved her. She had always been pretty, but now she was beautiful. Her long hair was messy, as if she’d spent hours trying to get the ‘I just got out of bed’ look. It shone bright highlighted by the lighting in the room. She had curves now, in the right places, ample yet not too big. Her waist was tiny and his hands practically met as he put them round her waist. She was elegant, stunning and so mysterious to him. He knew the basis of her life, but could only guess at what she’d experienced. She was sexy and she was gorgeous. As much as he was surprised to admit it, Joey Potter turned him on.

"Having fun?" Joey said, as if she suddenly realised that she was dancing with him.

"As much fun as possible when I’m dancing with you," he joked.

"Thanks. Most men would be thrilled. Shall I go and ask one of them?"

"No, Joey. Don’t. I was just pulling your leg."

"You’re sweet, Pacey Witter," she said, pulling him closer to her. He licked his lips nervously, not knowing what to expect. She pleased her hand on his chest, and placed her lower lip softly against his upper lip. Just as he felt the warmth spread across his lips, the music stopped. He was locked in a world with Joey, and they were kissing. He was just about to bring his hand up against his back when she pulled away. The music had really stopped.

"I’m just gonna take five," the lead musician said.

"I want to sing," Joey said. Pacey was wordless. The past moment had left him speechless and shaken. She turned towards the stage and began to walk away. As Pacey turned to see her, he caught Dawson’s gaze. He looked pissed.

Joey spoke quickly to the group, who nodded, smiled and prepared to play. She turned back to the microphone and licked her lips quickly.

"Tonight, I’d like to sing a song for you all. It’s called ‘I Love You’, and Sarah McLachlan wrote it and sang it a few years back."

End of Part Three

Sorry it’s so short. I realised yesterday that I haven’t written a part in three and a half months. I’m sorry. I thought I’d get this part out so I have some more time. The next part will involve finding out more about Joey, a S&M club and a lot of alcohol. Coming to a site near you soon! Send Feedback.

-Becci Wooster

23rd April 2000

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