Against the World by: Dannie

Rating: R

She pulled the soft sheet tighter around her, trying to hide her naked body underneath. Using her elbow to prop herself up, she snuggled up closer to him, before pulling him in for another deep, slow kiss.

"Mmm..." he whispered with his eyes closed and slowly licked his lips. "Can I have another one?" he asked with a devilish grin.

She smiled back at him coyly. "Why certainly Mr. Witter," she replied before going in for another kiss. This one more passionate and longer than the last. Andie let out a sigh as she finally pulled away.

"Another?" he asked again.

Andie let out a short laugh. "I don't know, I feel tired now. Those kisses take a lot out of me," she replied with a smirk and flopped back down on her back. She closed her eyes, and pretended to fall asleep. Using his elbow to prop himself up Pacey gazed down at her.

"Great, I ask her for a kiss and it's like asking for a kidney. Remind me not to call you when I need one."

Keeping her eyes closed the whole time, she tried to hold back her grin, yet was unable to stop it from escaping.

"I saw that, McPhee," he stated teasingly.

Immediately the smile was removed from her face.

"Hmm, a sleeping princess, whatever should a handsome prince like me do?" Pacey said.

Andie was unable to hold back a snort at the mention of handsome.

"Was that an insult to my looks, McPhee? You're going to pay!" Pacey declared with mock anger and began to tickle her sides. Andie pulled the blanket tighter around her, trying to suppress her giggles. He continued relentlessly before, Andie gave in with a fit of laughter.

"Stop! I give in, I give in," she cried her voice shaky with laughter. By this time Pacey was hovering over her, his hands above her head supporting his body. He gazed down into her green eyes with his dark brown ones. After a considerable amount of time she broke the silence, "What are you looking at?" she asked quietly.

"You. Why does it make you uncomfortable?" He asked.

She gently nodded her head no.

"Good, because it shouldn't,"

She gave him a soft, beautiful smile in reply. "I think I'm in love," she said.

"I know I'm in love," he replied, before lowering his lips to hers.

Pacey gently lowered his body on top of hers, deepening the kiss. Her soft, petite body meeting his. He immediately felt her nipples harden against his chest.

"Pacey," she moaned as he entered her. They slowly had a soft rhythm going trying to prolong the moment for as long as they could. She gazed up lovingly into his eyes, as he brought her to the brink and back again. She bit her lower lip as she finally found release and he soon followed. She looked up at him with wide green eyes, "will we always be like this?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

He searched her eyes knowing she needed some kind of reassurance and not knowing why. " I promise," he whispered, trying to convey all the emotions he felt for her through one look. She gazed at him and nodded her head as if that was all she needed to hear. She moved closer to him, keeping her head down as if internally struggling to come to terms with what he had just said.

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer. "What brought this on, you planning on leaving me, McPhee?" He asked jokingly.

She turned toward him and idly traced a path along his other arm, she stopped at an almost unnoticeable scar. You can barely tell it was there, unless you already knew. Pacey knew this was her way of avoiding the question. "What's wrong Andie?" he asked cautiously, concern etched in his voice.

She gazed up at him longingly, "Nothing, really. Its just that I've been doing some thinking,"

"Never a good thing, " he joked.

She shot him a look, "Can you be serious for once?" She asked annoyed.

"I'm sorry. I'm serious. Honest," he amended quickly.

"Remember my roommate Jessi?"

"The tall one with the big mouth, how can I forget?" he replied as a picture of the girl quickly came to mind. Tall, light skin girl who loved to talk. Chewed his ear off many a time when he called to speak to Andie. Sometimes he had Dawson call to ask for Andie, to avoid speaking to her. He chuckled softly at this last thought.

"Well, her fiance died," Andie said,

"How?" Pacey asked alarmed, he didn't like the girl much, but geez.

"Well, he went skydiving and his chute didn't open,"

Pacey winced as the picture of a guy just hurdling straight toward the earth, came to mind. No parachute, just nothing stopping you from hitting the ground with a sickening thud. He shook those sickening thoughts out of his mind and focused back on Andie.

"Right now Jessi's a mess, not sure if she's even going to continue this semester. And that made me think, what about if the situation were reversed. I would be inconsolable Pacey, I don't think I could make it through life, let alone a semester without you." Tears were now streaming down Andie's face as she gave this heartfelt speech, "So I need you to promise me, that I go before you." She looked at him pleadingly waiting for his response.

Pacey gasped at this, revelation. Andie dying was unheard of, he would be inconsolable if Andie were to die suddenly. Andie was so much stronger at dealing with life's problems than he was and he didn't know how long he would be able to survive without her by his side. He would be the one drawn to razors, not her. Not Andie. She gazed at him lovingly willing him to reply, wanting all her fears qualmed by just one word from his lips.

"I-," he stopped as he thought about what he should say. Such a promise was unthinkable. How would he be able to stop any stones and hurdles, that life threw there way? She stared at him waiting for that one answer that would make everyone okay. He mulled it over in his mind as he thought what the hell, why not just make her feel better now. Surely, Andie knew no such promise could be kept. "I promise," Pacey said, a sigh of relief escaped from Andie's lips. She lowered her mouth to his giving him a soft, sweet, tender kiss.

"Thank you," her eyes gazed lovingly into his.

"No more of this crazy talk, okay? It's always going to be me and you together forever. Pacey and Andie versus the world remember?" he said with a grin, trying to bring light into this dark conversation. He didn't want to admit it, but the discussion had struck a nerve in him. He would fight it and put on a strong facade for Andie though. Like he had many times before, what made this time any different?

"Right, Pacey and Andie versus the world," she replied with a laugh and held his hand in hers. Andie's green eyes stared up into his brown ones with so much love and laughter, Pacey was overwhelmed with love for her at that moment. This is pure happiness, he thought to himself and right now there was no place he'd rather be than his small apartment, with her.

"So what was it you wanted to tell me?" She asked a smile still stretched on her face.

"Hmm?" he asked, distracted by his thoughts.

"The important news you had to tell me. The reason I'm here on a weekday. What you were going to tell me before we got, er.... a little distracted," She replied as she stretched out her arm, motioning to towards there clothes strewn across the room.

Right, the important news, he thought to himself. The reason he called this wonderful woman on a Thursday afternoon and told her to get her butt down here, because it was time to celebrate. His eyes shined with the memory of when his English professor had first broken the news to him.

"You have talent and this is a wonderful opportunity for you," he had told him before he had exited his office for the day. Pacey believed he could never be happier, until now.

"Pacey? Pacey?" Andie said as she waved a hand in front of his face, "What planet were you on?" She asked jokingly.

"I'm going to be published," He replied with a big, stupid grin on his face.

"Really?"

He nodded his head yes.

"That's wonderful," she said and gave him a big hug, "so which one is it? The first one, the one about that group of friends, the analy-" She was cut off from her excited questioning by the shaking of his head no.

"Its a new one, I've been working on," he replied.

"Well, what's it about? Don't keep me in suspense here any longer," She replied jokingly, pride shining in her eyes.

"Its about you," He replied happily, he was never prouder or more excited at this moment.

"About me?" She asked the color draining from her face.

This wasn't the reaction he was expecting. "What's wrong Andie? I thought you'd be happy about this," he asked the smile falling from his face.

Andie hurriedly got up off the bed and began to gather her clothes. "How can you do this to me Pacey?" She asked the hurt evident in her voice.

"What do you mean, how can I do this to you?"

"You can't have that published Pacey. You can't," Andie replied as she slipped her dress on.

"Why not Andie?"

"I don't want people reading about me and passing judgment on my life. You had no right to do this Pacey," She looked into his eyes angrily.

"What do you mean I had no right?" He asked angrily.

"Pacey, what I've shared with you is special, and I shared it with you. You. Just you and nobody else and I'm hurt that you even thought of sharing that part of me with anyone else," She said sadly as she slipped on her shoes.

"Its not even like that Andie, I mean you haven't even read it yet," Pacey said his anger dissolving as he got up and went to his desk. He opened the top drawer and reached inside, coming up with a few sheets of white paper. "Here, read it," he said as he thrust the neatly typed papers into her hands.

Andie glanced at the papers now in her hands and fled out the door.

"Andie! Andie, wait!" Pacey yelled after her. He raced down the stairs after her, clad only in his plaid boxers and bare foot. He raced to the foot of the door, just to see her car pulling out and race down the road. "Damn!" he muttered and knocked his fist against the door frame, hard, as he reentered the building.

Pacey entered through his front door and slammed it shut behind him. He made his way to his bedroom and flopped down on to the bed. This was unbelievable, he thought to himself. How can he go from being so happy to being so sad, all in one moment? He picked his head off the bed and groaned. It still smelt like her. And them. It still smelt like them. He pulled himself off the bed and headed toward his desk. Whenever he needed to clear his head he could count on his writing and right now he needed it. Funny, how it had gotten him into trouble in the first place.

The assignment had been to write about anything. Anything that had any importance and value to you and immediately Andie had come to mind. Andie McPhee, the girl who literally crashed into his life and changed him forever. He pulled out a pen and paper and began to write, leaving his laptop untouched on his desk. He found writing long hand more relaxing than actually typing it out. He stood there writing. He wrote anything and everything. He wrote about Andie, and Dawson, about Capeside, about what just happened and finally he found himself writing a letter to Andie. When he was done he read it over and was surprised at what he had done.

Dear Andie,

I love you. You knew that already, but I just wanted to let you know again. That's why I'm not going to let some idiotic piece of paper keep us apart. I won't publish it, Andie. If that's what it takes to make you happy then it's done. I'll just tell the professor that I changed my mind. It doesn't matter anyway, there will be tons of other chances to be published. I'm sure of it. As long as you're by my side, Andie, anything is possible. I love you, Andrea McPhee, and I'm never going to stop. It's Pacey and Andie versus the world, remember? Just you and me together, forever. I wouldn't have it any other way. I love you Andie, don't ever forget that. I love you.

Love,

Pacey

With an exhausted sigh, he folded the letter and placed it in a white envelope he had found in his desk, hidden beneath an old midterm. He placed the envelope with the letter flat on the center of his desk, where he would be able to find it in the morning. He turned off the lights and headed toward bedroom. Once, inside he glanced at the alarm clock on the night stand and found it to be one o' clock in the morning already. Was he writing for that long? Andie should be home by now he thought to himself as he picked up the phone to call her, he stopped himself at mid dial aware that she was still angry at him and perhaps he should wait for her to cool off.

Besides, he thought as he drifted off, she would call me to let me know she's okay at least.


Andie pulled over to the side of the road, when she noticed there was no sign of the rain letting up. She ran her, hands through her bed ragged hair and let out an exhaustive sigh.

"Great," she mumbled, "just great!"

At least the weather matched her mood perfectly, she thought to herself. She nervously tapped her fingers on the steering wheel. The silence was getting to her and the rain pounding on the windows was nerve racking. Frustrated, Andie turned on the radio. Static, blasted from the speakers and into the silent car scaring Andie out of her wits. She quickly changed the station searching for some signs of life.

Finally, a country music station. Andie hummed along with a few tunes, before finally turning the radio off. Country music was too depressing and right now she didn't need to be more depressed than she already was. She let out a discontented sigh as glanced around the car for something to do. Her gaze rested on the seat next to her, where twenty neatly typed sheets rested. She quickly averted her gaze as if merely looking at them was wrong.

Andie nervously tapped her fingers against the steering wheel. She was bored and the rain showed no signs of letting up. She found her gaze back on the seat next to her where the white sheets seemed to gleam against the dark interior of the car. Andie fought the temptation to reach over and read it. Scared to read, what she believed were her worst fears brought to life. Scared that soon everyone would know, Andie McPhee with the gay brother and the schizophrenic mother not to mention her father. Father. She had lost her father a long time ago along with her mother and her older brother.

Just when she believed she had finally moved past this, Pacey had to bring it up again, had to bring up what she had long since been trying to forget and what she'd always remember. Andie let out a discontented sigh as she lifted the sheets off of the seat.

"Just because, I'm looking at it, doesn't mean I'm going to read it. I can just look," Andie said aloud. Andie laughed at this. Just who was she trying to justify her actions too. No one else was here besides her.

"Andie. By Pacey Witter," She read aloud from the cover. Her hands nervously skimmed the rough edges of the white paper, as if some vile and sinister force lurked beneath the pristine white pages. She nervously glanced around her as if any minute now someone was about to catch her in some criminal act. She opened the first page and settled in for a read.

She was strong, stronger than everyone thought she was and stronger than she believed herself to be.


Pacey awoke with a start and rubbed his sleepy eyes. He stretched his arms and tried to stifle a yawn as he glanced at the alarm clock by his bed. Ten a.m. it read, not bad timing he thought considering his classes didn't start until one. He groggily climbed off the bed and headed toward the phone, maybe Andie had called while he was sleeping.

Beep. You have no new messages. The cold, mechanic voice of the answering machine echoed through the apartment.

Andie still couldn't be mad at him about yesterday, could she? He reached for the phone, but it began to ring.

"Hello Andie?" Pacey asked anxiously into the phone.

"Sorry to disappoint, its just me Dawson,"

"Hey D, what's up?"

"Nothing much here. I tried to call you last night, but the line was dead,"

"Yeah, it seems we had a terrible storm last night, down here," Pacey replied as he gazed out his window. It seems they did, he thinks to himself as he surveys the damage outside, he must have really been tired to sleep through all that. Maybe that's why there was no message from Andie, perhaps she had tried to call and the line was dead, he reasoned to himself.

"I just wish it would rain down here, I never knew Arizona was so hot," Dawson complained into the phone.

"Hang on Dawson, someone's banging on the door," Pacey said into the phone.

"Hold your horses, I'm coming!" Pacey yelled at the door, bringing the phone with him. He was a bit curious as to who his morning visitor was. Pacey swung open the door to find to uniformed police officers. His mouth gaped open in shock, "I'll call you later D," He whispered into the phone and quickly hung up.

"Are you Pacey Witter?" One of them asked.

It took a few seconds for Pacey to gather himself before he could reply. "Yes, I am."

"Can we come in?" The older looking one asked. Pacey moved aside and let them enter, shutting the door tightly behind them.

"What's this about?" Pacey asked nervously, trying to keep his fears at rest. Its probably nothing he tried to assure himself, some dog must be missing or a neighbor's car.

Both cops glanced at each other before the older one replied, "Do you know a Jack McPhee?"

A rush of relief escaped from Pacey's lips. It was Jack. They wanted Jack. Immediately his thoughts flew to Andie and he wondered if she knew what was wrong. He had to call her, she needed him right now.

"Yes, I do." Pacey replied his voice noticeably calmer. "What's wrong? Is Jack in any kind of trouble?" Pacey asked concerned for his friend.

"Did you know his sister, a Miss Andrea McPhee?"

"Did? I know her," Pacey replied his voice shaky. Alarms were going off in his head. This wasn't right. Something was terribly wrong. "What happened to Andie?" He asked nervously as he stonily sat down on the couch. The two officers chose to stand.

"Seems Miss Andrea's, I mean Andie's," the officer quickly corrected as he saw the look Pacey shot him, "car was run off the road. It was found just up the hill from here in a ditch."

"Oh my god! Is she okay? What hospital is she in?" Pacey couldn't get the questions out fast enough and the rapid beating of his own heartbeat was pounding in his ears.

The other officer gulped this was the part he hated most about his job, "she's dead."

Pacey cradled his head in his hands as he began to cry.

"We'll see ourselves out," the young officer said and they quickly exited the room.

This wasn't happening. This was all just some bad dream and any minute now he was going to wake up and find Andie right next to him. He would see her smile and know everything was all right and drown in the pool of her deep green eyes while they shared, loving kisses and fond embraces. But it wasn't a dream and Andie wasn't coming back. It was gone. She was gone. The tears were coming down faster and harder.

"This is just a dream," he murmured to himself, while rocking back and forth. The tears never ending.


Pacey headed toward the limo he shared with Dawson and Joey. They were going to wait up for him, but he motioned them to go ahead. This was his final time with Andie and he wanted to say his good-byes. He closed his eyes and a single tear slid down his left cheek, he didn't even bother wiping them away anymore, they just kept coming.

"She called me that night you know," a soft female voice said breaking the silence. Pacey turned around abruptly to find Jessi standing behind him. Her cheeks were sallow and her once lustrous brown hair hung limp, framing her thin face.

"She did?" Pacey asked. He felt bad for her, to lose your fiance and your friend one right after the other, had to be unbearable. Pacey was surprised to see her here.

She nodded her head, "She told me not to wait up for her. She was on her way to see you. Something about her being wrong and that you should go ahead and publish it. She was deliriously happy and hyper, you know how she gets when she's excited," Jessi said a small smile beginning to spread on her lips as she remembered her friend. "She told me she was in love."

Pacey nodded his head as if he knew it all along.

"Listen, I have to go. Call me and we'll discuss what to do with her things," Jessi said and walked away.

Pacey nodded his head in acceptance and watched her walk away. He turned his attention back on the casket. "Love you, McPhee," He said as he dropped a single white envelope onto the casket and walked away.


Email Dannie

paceysbitch@seductive.com


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