Nothing but the Truth by: Lisa
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Part: 2 of ?
Classification: P/J (Not yet, but eventually. I swear.)
Rating: I'd say PG-13. Some stuff is implied. I'm not into the
nitty-gritty, hard-core descriptions, but sex is discussed in this. If you're offended by that, hey, I'm not forcing you to read it. But I think if you watch DC, you'll be just dandy.
Disclaimer: I solemnly swear that I, Lisa, do not own Dawson's Creek (where all the characters are from), I Know What You Did Last Summer (on which the plot for this story was loosely based), or anything else that could possibly have earned me a bit of money. I own the idea for the story and Karen Douglass (who you will soon meet…aren't you lucky?!)
Author's Note: This follows I Know What You Did Last Summer, which was part one of the series. So read it to understand why all this stuff is here, I guess. Also, thanks to the six pack - each and every one of you rock. Thanks to my mucho helpful beta readers - Taylor, Jane, Dana, Omolara, and whoever else (I'm sure I'm forgetting someone and I'm sorry!) And an extra-special thanks to Claire, who spent a ton of time on this with me. Most of all, I have to thank Kilby who worked with me constantly on this. We got up to version five before we were both satisfied with it. She deserves all the credit for making this readable. Kilby, you rock!!
Nothing but the Truth
A Few Days Before, in California….
Dawson sighed from the small bed in his musty dorm room. Carefully smoothing his button down shirt, he thought of the past year in California. He couldn't be happier that his freshman year at Pomona was over. Sure, he liked the school, but he hated being so far away from Capeside and everyone he loved. Although I can't imagine anyone would be happy to see me back, he told himself. Maybe it was the fond memories he had of the place. It was where he grew up, became an adult, and learned about life. Through the powers of memory, he had wiped out all the bad times and reveled in the good. Even though he wasn't religious, he prayed every single day that he could go back to that moment in June and prevent it from happening. More than anything, he wanted to prevent Pacey from convincing them that a few beers were harmless. It was his own fault, though. He should have known better than to believe anything Pacey said about alcohol, and he should have been able to control his hormones. Heck, why had he even gone to the party in the first place?! Life sucks, he told himself. His thoughts of self-pity were interrupted by a knock at the door.
"Hey, sunshine!" Karen Douglass called as she bounded into his room. "Sunshine" was her pet name for him, since he had been depressed for the first semester at Pomona. Karen was the absolute opposite of Dawson during those first few months - she was bubbly, unrestrained, perpetually perky. At first, he had wanted to smack her. But Karen never gave up and eventually won him over. Karen had a tendency to grow on everyone, which had earned her the unflattering nickname of "The Leech" among several of the students.
Karen was a native of Boston, so she and Dawson had bonded over their common ground. She loved everything about the city, everything in it, and everything around it. Including, it seemed, Dawson Leery. He found her adulation flattering, at first. Then it became annoying. They had finally sat down one night and talked it over. Things had been weird between them for a while, but Karen had found a new freshman to shower her affections on and Dawson became simply a friend, which suited him just fine.
He didn't know why Karen was such a comfort to him. She had a grating personality and he had never particularly liked the cheery type. Maybe it was the fact that she was his only real friend in California. When no one else had cared, she had taken the time to talk to him and make him feel at home. For that, he would be eternally grateful. Grateful enough, even, to allow her to stay at his house for a week. She had hinted incessantly that she would love to meet his friends and tour Capeside instead of staying all alone in her big house in Boston while her parents trekked around Italy. Karen didn't truly need a place to stay, but Dawson knew it was the right thing to do and grudgingly offered her the guest room for a week. He was glad now that he had, since he would have someone to talk to in case things became weird between him and his old group of friends, which they were bound to get.
"Ready to go?" she asked as she plopped down next to him on the bed. She fingered a necklace Dawson recognized as new. She was begging for him to comment on it, but he wasn't in the mood now. He knew any remark on his part would result in a long-winded story from Karen.
"Almost. Give me a few to pack up the last few things and I'll meet you in the taxi." She nodded.
"Just remember, the traffic to the airport will be murder, so we want to leave in the next twenty minutes. I'm not going to miss our flight again," she warned, referring to the time that Dawson had been finishing up a movie scene before winter break and they had missed the last flight to Boston that night. Karen had not been a happy camper after spending six hours in a molded plastic chair in LAX.
"I know, I know." She smiled and bounded out of the room. Dawson sighed. He hoped Karen would get along well with Joey, Pacey, and Jen. Capeside was small and they were bound to run into one another sooner or later. Her parents were going to be in Europe when Karen came home from college, so she was spending the week before their return in Capeside with the Leerys. In some ways, Karen reminded him of Joey. Not the perky, happy-go-lucky aspect of her personality, but the needy aspect. Karen and Joey were both outsiders and hated their position on the fringes. Joey pretended that she didn't care, but he knew that it hurt her when people talked about her family situation.
Joey. He hadn't thought about her for a few minutes, almost. It was practically a new record. He sighed, recalling that one night that changed everything. The night that Jen convinced the four of them to go to that stupid graduation party, the night that he had finally gotten drunk. . . he pushed the thoughts out of his mind. He still hadn't gotten over the incident and he was sick of reliving it every waking moment.
Dawson surveyed the tiny room that had been his home for the past year. It was pretty clean, except for the corner of the small closet. He had put off cleaning that until last, purposely. Inside the closet was a large cardboard box filled with letters from Massachusetts. Each one had the return address of a Jen Lindley from Capeside and each one was unopened. He didn't want to know what the letters said; it would only hurt too much. Deep down, he knew that he had wronged Jen and that was more than enough for him. He didn't need to read her curses, her cries, and her anger. Dawson lifted the box up and walked over to one of the many trash cans in the hallway. As he held the box over the garbage bin, something in his subconscious told him that he should read them before he returned to Capeside. You're a crazy lunatic, Leery, he told himself as he dumped the numerous letters into his bookbag and ran out to the waiting taxi.
* * * *
On Flight 183
"You're not too talkative," Karen commented while Dawson stared out the window. "Anything I can help you with?" He shook his head.
"I'm just thinking about seeing Jen and Pacey and Joey again, that's all. It's going to be a bit…weird, I guess you could say."
"Why do you say that?" she asked, intrigued. Dawson had always been very cryptic about his past. He had mentioned his friends a few times, but that was it. He had hinted at some sort of incident that had ruined their longtime friendship, but he had never revealed the entire story to her. She was anxious to know the details of his past, seeing as she was nosy by nature and Dawson was always very secretive.
"I haven't spoken to any of them since last August. I think about them, of course, but I haven't had a real conversation with any of them. I'm worried about it. Capeside is tiny; the three of them are only a hop, skip, and a jump away. It's so strange. We used to be friends, best friends. Everything was fine. Jen and I were happy. Pacey and Joey were happy. Everything was great. Then," he shook his head. "Sorry, I must be boring you. Forget it."
"No, no, continue," she urged, trying to control her enthusiasm. She was so eager to learn about Dawson's past that she didn't dare let him clam up. "We've got another four hours ahead of us. I've got time." He sighed and looked out the window.
"I'm not ready to talk about it," he said finally. Karen looked at him doubtfully.
"Are you sure? Talking sometimes helps," she said gently, knowing not to pressure him any further. He looked out the window again, concentrating on the white clouds that filled the sky while continuing with the story.
"Last June, Jen convinced the four of us to go to someone's graduation party. I didn't even know the name of the guy. He was a classmate of ours that we were never really friends with, but Jen really wanted to celebrate leaving Capeside High. She and I had both been accepted at New York University and we were both excited about being together there. Pacey and Joey were both going to Boston University," he began. "Anyhow, Pacey had the crazy idea to see how many beers we could all down in an hour. I don't know what he was thinking, maybe finally getting out of Capeside and away from his horrible family was too much excitement for him to handle. Jen and Pacey could handle it a lot better than me and Joey, but there's always a limit, no matter how big a drinker you are. Like almost everyone else at the party, the four of us got completely plastered." He stopped and winced. It was almost too much for him to bear. He closed his eyes and saw the flashing lights, the dancing bodies, smelled the beer and vodka. He saw the crumpled bodies by the couch and on the floor, the stupid grin on Joey's face, the spinning room. He couldn't go continue.
"Dawson?" Karen asked softly.
"I can't talk about it anymore," he said simply. She nodded. "I understand."
The two of them sat in silence for a while, until Karen drifted off to sleep. Dawson was tempted to join her, since they still had three hours left on the plane. Instead, his thoughts wandered to the pile of envelopes from Jen lying in his book bag. Dawson had a sudden urge to read them. Being careful not to disturb Karen, he opened the overhead bin and removed his bag. He took out the pile of envelopes and slowly ripped open the first one.
Dear Dawson,
You didn't have to leave, Dawson. It wasn't your fault. You were drunk; you can't be held accountable for your actions. I don't hold it against you.
I don't know why you left Capeside. I don't know why you felt the only way out was California. Dawson, we could have worked through this. I still love you, Dawson. I don't want this Joey thing to come between us. I lost you once because of her and I don't want it to happen again.
Love Always and Forever,
Jen
The other letters were similar to the first one, each becoming more desperate as she waited in vain for a reply. Jen begged in some letters, pleading for him to come back; she cursed him for running away in others. Dawson sighed. All this time, he had thought Jen hated him for what happened that night. It turned out that she wanted him back. She may have forgiven him for what she knew, but there was no way she'd ever excuse his other actions. He drifted off to sleep clutching the letters.
* * * *
"Wake up, sunshine," Karen cooed as she gently poked Dawson in the stomach. He groaned, his head was pounding. He opened his eyes and saw Karen smiling at him. He couldn't help but smile back, Karen could always cheer him up. There were times that cheerfulness had its benefits, he realized. "What are those?" she inquired, pointing at the envelopes he was holding tightly in his hands.
"Letters from Jen," he said simply as he stood up. The rest of the passengers were gathering their belongings.
"Why are there so many? What do they say?" she pressed. He looked around the airplane. He didn't have any desire to explain it now.
"I'll tell you in the rental car," he said, hoping she would forget. She looked doubtful, but he smiled sincerely.
"Swear?"
"When have I lied before?"
"You don't want me to answer that!" she teased.
* * * *
"So, tell me about the letters," Karen said as they cruised down Route 93 to Capeside. Karen had volunteered to drive, since Dawson hated the traffic in Boston. She expertly wove their rental Ford through the heavy traffic.
"Jen wrote them."
"Jen? Jen who? That blonde chick you talk about once in a while? Or is that Joey? I can never keep them straight."
"Jen my blonde ex-girlfriend from New York, although we never officially broke up this time. She sent me all forty seven of them. One for each week I was away at college, plus a few extras."
"Can we say obsessive?" Karen laughed as she switched lanes and sped past an old Chevy.
"I wouldn't say that. We just have a complicated relationship." "Why?"
"Because of last June. The graduation party." "What happened then?" Dawson sighed. He could never get away
from it, no matter how hard he tried to avoid talking about it. "I don't want to talk about it."
"You're going to have to face it when we get to Capeside, Dawson. You're going to see Jen and Joey and Pacey all over again. You can't keep running away from it. Let me help you deal with this, Dawson. I'm the psychology major, remember!" she giggled. He smiled. Maybe it would help to tell the story to someone else, he realized. Why not? I'm not doing myself any good the way I am.
"Well, I already told you how we ended up drunk at the party. After that, Pacey passed out on the couch. He drank twice as much as the rest of us. Jen went off somewhere, I had no idea where. Joey and I were standing alone, completely plastered, at the dining room table where all the drinks were. Everyone else at the party was passed out or was on the verge of unconsciousness," he started. He didn't continue.
"And?" Karen prodded. She had been waiting an entire year for Dawson to trust her enough to share this story, she had no intention of letting the opportunity slip away now.
"Just remember, at this point both Joey and Pacey and Jen and I are madly in love," he warned. She nodded. "The liquor had just made me so anxious physically. I think I would've hit anything with a pulse. There Joey was, just as drunk as I was. She got dizzy, and grabbed my arm to keep herself from falling. When she touched me, I couldn't fight the urges anymore, and neither could she. It was the last thing that I wanted to happen, but she was the one who was there, and the liquor just made it so that I couldn't control myself anymore. She couldn't either. I never in a million years wanted it to happen. I loved Jen, not Joey. There was an empty bedroom in the house that she dragged me into. You can imagine what happened next." Karen blushed.
"Wow, Dawson, you animal," she joked. He shot her an evil look. "We woke up a few hours later. We couldn't believe what we had
done. We vowed never to speak a word of it to anyone, especially not Pacey and Jen. Things were looking up for a few weeks. Everything was pretty close to normal, although things were understandably a bit awkward between Joey and myself. But we could deal with it, that was, until Joey came into my room late one night, crying. She was-" he stopped, choking back a sob. This was the first time he had ever told anyone the entire story. He was reliving all the emotions of that summer again. He took a few deep breaths to compose himself. "She was pregnant. And there was no way that it could have been anyone's but mine. If Jen or Pacey found out…" he trailed off, leaving Karen to imagine the possible consequences.
"The next week, we took off for New York City. We had called an abortion clinic that night and made an appointment. There was no way we could keep it. I had never felt so guilty before in my life. We spent the rest of that day crying in Central Park. Our lives were such a mess."
"Wow," Karen whispered.
"This was early August. We decided that we couldn't bear to face Pacey and Jen every day, knowing we shared this awful secret. We told them that we slept together that night, but we didn't tell them about the pregnancy or the abortion. Pacey went nuts on me; I seriously thought I was going to end up in the hospital that night. Jen started sobbing about betrayal. We couldn't have told them about the pregnancy; that would have been too much for them to handle. It was too much for me and Joey too, facing them after that. So I decided to come out to California and Joey ran down to the University of Richmond. Pacey and Jen were in shock. They both stayed in Capeside; they couldn't believe that we would do something like that. At the time, I thought running away was the answer. Now I know it wasn't, but I didn't think I had any other choice at that point." He shook his head. "It's amazing how a few hours on one random night with a bad decision could end up changing my life so much."
"Oh, sunshine, you poor baby," Karen said softly. "I had no
idea."
"You can't tell anyone. Joey and I wanted to keep this a secret. We vowed to take it to the grave."
"That's not healthy," she told him. "What choice did we have? Keep it quiet or tell Pacey and Jen
and risk their wrath? I couldn't live with myself after seeing their faces if Joey and I told them about the abortion. The sex part was more than enough. Pacey refused to look at Joey. She told him that she wasn't ready to sleep with him. He loved her, accepted that wholeheartedly, and didn't pressure her. But it devastated him. I think he thought it was because she just didn't want him. He couldn't really
comprehend the spontaneity of what happened that night .I don't want to discuss what he did to me after he found out." He sighed. "And you want to know what the icing on the cake is? I just read Jen's letters and it turns out she wants me back. I can't imagine why. When I left, she wasn't even speaking to me. She was upset, and felt like I betrayed her. It took me a long time to convince her that I was over Joey, and then I ruined it all by doing something stupid like getting drunk and sleeping with my best friend. This is all too confusing. I thought she hated me and now it turns out she doesn't. Then again, she doesn't know the whole story. What am I supposed to do?"
"Wait it out. See what happens. Don't make a decision now." The white sign proclaiming the entrance to Capeside flashed by.
"I don't have much time."
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