I'll Never Let Go, Chapter 9I'll Never Let Go, Chapter 9- Jumper
Just like before, the weeks passed and soon, it was February twelfth, and Zac had lost just about all hope of ever talking to Cory again.
His mother was doing well, having been in remission for almost two whole months, a record for her.
Ike moved out a couple weeks ago, and was living in an apartment in the same complex as Taylor and Lauren.
Zac's life was becoming very hard to bear. It was boring, and he never had fun. Zac was so depressed, he started thinking of suicide. Maybe he just couldn't go on like this, seeing Cory ignoring him and living the same ruitine every day. His heart ached, and, instead of not liking her, he liked her more.
He had one last chance, and that was to get her to read that article. If she did, and she talked to him, he would be saved. If she didn't, well, he would just slit his wrists and die.
Two days passed, and he could feel the stares he got from everyone in school. He even saw the magazine being passed around in classes for him to see.
In Spanish, his last class of the day, and his last class with Cory, it got really bad.
"Oooo, Hanson! Read that article. I bet you do hope that someone reads it!" a guy from the back of the room said.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw someone hand Cory the magazine. She threw it down and crossed her arms in front of her defiantly.
The bell rang, and Zac ran to the parking lot. He jumped in his car and went straight home.
Zac was in his room, writing his goodbye letter. The article that Cindy had written was beautiful. If only Cory had read it.
It read like this:
"We recently caught up with the former members of the pop group Hanson. The brothers, Isaac (21), Taylor (19), and Zac (16) have been living these past ten months in their home town of Tulsa, Oklahoma.
Due to the diagnosis of cancer to their mother, Diana, Zac, a sophomore in high school, has been in public high school, while Taylor and Isaac are attending Oral Roberts University in Tulsa.
'Attending the college was a wise dicision.' Taylor said, responding to the fact that it had been widely debated since the band's big break in 1997.
Now, here is part of the interveiw Seventeen had with them last time they caught up with eachother:
Seventeen- Why do you think that your band broke up?
Taylor- We all just grew up.
Isaac- We were just, kind of, unhappy. It wasn't fun anymore.
Seventeen- Do you regret your decision?
Zac- Yes and no. I mean, now I get to do normal things without being mobbed. I can have friends who like me for me. But at the same time, I miss the excitement of being famous.
Taylor- No, I have a band now, and we are probably going to make our demo tapes right when I get back.
Ike- I don't know.
Seventeen- Do you think that you all have changed because of your decision?
Taylor- Yeah, I feel for the first time like I blend in, instead of stand out.
Isaac- No. I feel the same.
Zac- I am not crazy and hyper like I was. I am kinda quiet now.
Isaac- Yeah. Zac has definitely grow up the most.
Seventeen- So, how is your mom at the moment?
Isaac- She is in remission, and we are hoping that everyone will hold her in their prayers at this time, and hope that she doesn't relapse.
Taylor- Yeah.
Seventeen- We all know that during your whole busy careers as a band, you didn't date at all. Now that you have more time, are their any special people in your lives?
Taylor- Yes. Laura, my girlfriend, is the special person in my life.
Isaac- Yeah, I've been dating someone for about three months.
Zac- Yes, but she hates me.
Seventeen- Taylor and Isaac, are your relationships very serious?
Taylor- Yes, I am going to propose on Valentine's Day.
Isaac- I don't know, we've only been dating for about five months.
Seventeen- Zac, tell us more about your special someone.
Zac- Her name is Cory, well, actually Corynne. We've been friends since we were, like, four. I kinda accused her of doing something that she didn't. If she is reading this, Cory, I love you, and I have for so long. I just couldn't see. Please, talk to me!
Seventeen- Well, last question. Is there any chance that Hanson will get back together?
All- We don't know.
Zac- I hope so."
Zac glanced down at the article. How foolish he had been, thinking that she would read it.
He went through the house, which was completely empty, and took one last look at it. He saw the dent in the wall from when Taylor and Zac had played soccer in the house and knocked over a lamp. The finger paintings that he and each of his siblings had made when they were about Zoe's age. The awards he and his brothers had won.
He reached the kitchen, finding a knife and heading back to his room to finish writing his goodbye letter.
"Dear Everyone," he wrote. "I am sorry I had to go this way. I love you all and it's not your fault that I'm doing this. It's just not worth living life anymore. Tell Cory I love her. Tay and Ike, you guys were the greatest brothers a guy could ever want. Mackie, I hope that our likeness won't give you much greif. Jessie and Ave, I will always watch over you. Mom, Dad, I wish that you could understand. I love all of you, and I'll Be With You in Your Dreams. Zac"
He folded the note and put it under his door so that everyone could see it when they came in to find him. Slowly, a tear made it's way down his face.
Zac picked up the knife, ignoring the door-bell that was ringing.
He slowly dug it into his skin, deep enough to start the blood flowing. Biting his lip because of the pain, he slowly began cutting his other wrist, which immediately began bleeding.
Suddenly the door burst open, showing Cory on the other side, holding the note in her hands. She ran over to him, and slapped him.
"Damn it Zac! Don't you ever do this again. Now get up!" she screamed.
He sat there and cried, doing nothing.
"Get up, now!" she screamed again, running to his dresser and getting a shirt to hold on his wrists, which were pouring out blood.
She grabbed a phone and dialled 9-1-1. "Yes, I'm at 4594 West Palm Street, my friend slit his wrists. I need paramedics, now!" she screamed through frantic tears.
She pressed firmly on the cuts, after listening to the operator insruct her to. Within a few minutes, the sirens were outside, and Zac was passed out.
In the hospital, Cory found herself crying as she waited for the docters to tell her what was wrong. It was all her fault, she thought. Why hadn't she talked to him? At these thoughts, she began to cry loudly, curling up into a ball and ignoring all of the glances she got from passer-by's.
She looked up, hearing someone clear their throat.
"Do you know if he will be alright?" she asked the doctor.
"He lost a lot of blood. If you had phoned two minutes later, we probably would have been too late. Do you know his blood type?" he asked.
"No, but his parents will. Or his records. You could look there." she suggested.
"What number can I reach his parents at?" the doctor questioned.
"555-3798" Cory recited, knowing the Hanson's phone number by heart.
"Great." the docter rushed off in a hurry.
"Can I see him?" Cory called after the docter, who was too far away to hear. She glanced at the floor, noticing that her once white shoes were almost completely red with blood. She again began sobbing. Suddenly, she remembered that she still hadn't notified the family about what happened. Reaching for the phone, she proceeded to call 4-1-1 information to get Ike's number.
"Hello?" answered Ike.
"Ike! Oh thank God you're there!" Cory cried.
"Who'd this?" Ike asked.
"Duh! It's Cory! Look, I can't talk. Zac tried to slit his wrists and he's in the hospital." she said.
"How do you know?" Ike asked.
"Because I found him. I came to the house after I read you guys' interview and saw his car in the drive and his light on upstairs, but when I knocked on the door, no one would answer. So, I went around the back and went in that way, because I thought he was just being stubborn because he didn't want to talk. Well, I went up the stairs, only to find this note on his door-step saying that he was sorry it had to end this way and stuff. I openned his door, to find his wrists slit and a knife by his side, so I tried to get him up, only he wouldn't. Instead, he just sits there with this sorrowful look on his face. Oh it was terrible!!!" she cried, a new batch of tears falling down her face.
"Hold on, I'll be right over!" Ike said, slamming the phone down.
Cory couldn't stand making that call over again to Taylor, so she just hoped that Ike would tell him, since they lived so close.
The whole family sat in chairs in the waiting room, crying and hugging eachother for support.
It had been two hours since Cory had called Ike, and now she was overwhelmed by her tiredness, and she tried to sleep in one of the big chairs that the hospital provided.
She was awaken by the doctor gently shaking her.
"You can go see him first, since he's your boyfriend and you were the one who saved him." the doctor said.
Cory knew that the doctor had probably asked Zac's parents, and they had said that she should be the first to see him, but she said nothing, just followed the docter into Zac's room. Besides, she thought, he wasn't even her boyfriend.
Zac was awake, barely, and he saw Cory enter the room, her tear stained face and puffy eyes telling him that she had cried too much.
"Zac! Oh Zac!" she ran over, "thank God that you are alright!" She carefully looked down at his stitched and bandaged wrists.
"Cory, I'm okay. Really." he said softly, barely over a wisper.
"Don't you ever, EVER, do that to me again! Do you hear me?" she said, bending down and hugging him.
The rest of the family entered the room, Diana and Walker coming up next to Cory, who was still hugging him tightly.
"Zachary Walker Hanson! If you ever do a thing like this to us ever again, I don't know what I will do! Thank God that Cory was there!" Diana scolded as Cory finally let go.
"Mom, I'm sorry." he said, feeling a tear slide down his face.
"Oh, come here!" she said, hugging him.
Ike, Tay, Lauren (who had just been proposed to right before Ike had came barging in to tell them about Zac), Jessie, Ave, Mack, and Zoe all gathered around their brother (or in Laura's case, future brother). Tay pointed down at Laura's ring finger, which had a diamond ring on it.
Zac smiled, and sighed. He really did have something to live for. His family.
Credit goes to Third Eye Blind for the title of this chapter, aftr their song, "Jumper"
Lyrics:
I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend,
You could cut ties with all the lies,
That you've been living in,
And if you do not want to see me again,
I would understand,
I would understand,
The angry boy, a bit too insane,
Icing over a secret pain,
You know you don't belong,
You're the first to fight,
You're way too loud,
You're the flash of light,
On a burial shrowd,
I know something's wrong
Well everyone I know has got a reason,
To say,
Put the past away,
I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend,
You could cut ties with all the lies,
That you've been living in,
And if you do not want to see me again,
I would understand,
I would understand,
Well he's on the table,
And he's gone to code,
And I do not think anyone knows,
What they're doing here,
And your friends have left,
You've been dismissed,
I never thought it would come to this,
And I,
I want you to know,
Everyone's got to face down the demons,
Maybe today,
We could put the past away,
I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend,
You could cut ties with all the lies,
That you've been living in,
And if you do not want to see me again,
I would understand,
I would understand,
I would understand...
Can you put the past away,
I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend,
I would understand...
