Archives
January 2000 - December 2000
January 4, 2000
Happy New Year! Back in December of the last century, I believe... Adam,
Ed, and I recorded a CD titled, BLENDRE. This EP, containing 5 songs came
to life in Hoboken, New Jersey. For the record the total experience was
a positive one for all involved. I was very happy to find out that we can
"work" as a band. We really worked well together. We were a team. It felt
good. Our last recording experience was fraught with trouble from early on.
I must say it wasn't a waste of time though, for it helped Ed and I
this time around. We were better prepared. Once again I learned how much
more I need to learn. The best part is I don't mind learning. Every aspect
of recording I love! I must make sure I provide the opportunity to do this
the rest of my days.
By this time it is evident that all 3 of share the sentiment that we're
happy with Adam being part of the band. He truly is a pleasure to work
with on many levels. From helping me with the bass to just showing up on
time with a smile on his face! It's so nice to be able to bring a song idea
to the table and not have that fear of compromise surround it. Adam is very
capable and he always pleasantly surprises me. That's not to say that there
weren't any reservations. Ed was concerned that Adam might fall into trying
to "convert" instead of trying to "blend". I was concerned that Adam couldn't
fit in our rehearsal studio because the ceilings are low and Adam is tall. But
so far Adam's painted a picture of himself as an open minded person who can
respect that there are 3 members of the band and that we're here to blend
not to dominate. Though the 3 of us come from different backgrounds it seems
we have the best of all 3 worlds. When this is all over the 3 of us will be
better musicians and artists (and hopefully humans)than we were when we
started out.
Peace, John
February 10, 2000
Things are moving along. I can’t wait until we have enough songs to play out.
As always there is more to see than meets the eye. As time goes by I can see how
things are going to be more complicated than originally thought. It seems Adam
is a lot more different than Ed and I initially counted on. It’s more than his view
on drugs, it’s his views on music. I totally understand that we all don’t have to
be exactly alike. In fact I prefer to be individuals. It’s just that I wonder if our
opposing viewpoints will get in the way of making music. The bottom line is if we all
have the same goals and respect each other than there is no problem. Well, that’s the
problem. Adam, at this point doesn’t have the same drive as Ed and I do. He has a good
day job and is happy there but to Ed and I Blendre is our life. It’s “do or die”
sort to speak. We want to get as good as we can as soon as we can. Get that record
contract. Adam , doesn’t care. He’s in no rush. He has his day job and his web site
business. Before I make my next statement, I must say this; Adam is an extremely talented
guitar player, and I feel as a bassist I can learn a lot from him but…he doesn’t even
own a Beatles album. What I’m trying to say is I feel that he doesn’t respect my heroes
or what my goals are as far as contributions go to the band’s music. I feel he’s trying
to turn my apples into oranges. The people I strive to have the same integrity as he
doesn’t even know exist! This could be a big problem. Well, we’ll have to have a talk.
Peace, John
March 25, 2000
Today, WDIY (93.9 FM) a community public radio station in Bethlehem, PA, added Blendre
Music to their playlist. Stewart Brodian, the host of one of their programs that showcases
Alternative music, has featured the songs, “Let Go My Ego”, “Off The Ground”, and
“Glass People”. Even though we now have had actual airplay, we haven’t actually
heard it on the radio yet because WDIY doesn’t reach the New York City area. Stewart
was kind enough to send us a tape of his show. As a child I always dreamed of hearing my
music on the radio. It was really thrilling to hear him say that was Julian Lennon, and
before that, Blendre with ”Let Go My Ego”. It felt like a glimpse of the future. I
can’t believe how things are moving along. Not too long ago we didn’t even have a guitarist
and now we have a CD, web site, and airplay ! It may not mean much to some but to
me it means a lot. We’re doing everything we should be doing to bring our goals closer to
their achievement. One step at a time...
Peace, John
April 7, 2000
In writing this journal I walk a thin line between being honest and airing dirty laundry. I’m
often faced with having to make decisions on what I want to write based on it’s impact on
other people’s privacy. This is the reason there are no last names ever mentioned in the
journal with the exception of people who are already in the public eye. I go to great lengths
to keep the journal’s integrity without violating others. I write this in regards to Adam. It
is integral to the story of Blendre to show the differences between Adam and Ed and myself and
how we overcome them. To show what I’m feeling, what Ed’s feeling and what Adam is feeling.How
we learn tolerance and respect for each, and in turn all types of people. The hope is
when others read our little journal they may in some way learn to be
a little more tolerant in their own lives (yeah, right).
Anyway… the past few practices have been getting a little stressful. It sometimes feels like
because Adam hasn’t as much at stake as Ed and I do he’s totally uninterested in game plans
or time frames. He looses sight that there is a purpose to everything we do during practice, there
is a rehearsal outline. There’s a lot of ineffectual communication. A lot of time is spent
explaining to Adam the premise of the band again, explaining that skill does not supercede
creativity and because he may play an instrument better than another person doesn’t give him
the right or the duty to squish someone else’s flame or spark. The good thing is Adam is 100 %
into communication and is always willing to communicate. It’s just a matter or learning each other’s
lexicon. This band is a marriage of sorts and it is as important to me as it is to any
traditional marriage. So I analyze because I want it to be the best it can be.
There was no rehearsal tonight so I decided to go over Adam’s house to discuss my concerns
with him. To find out if we were on the same page. To make sure that our differences didn’t make
us harbor any hidden hostility. I mean we have a pretty safe sanctuary type atmosphere
when we rehearse now and I would like to keep it this way.
Adam, ended up cooking diner and it turns out Adam can cook. He made some kind of stir-fry dish.
He cooked the meat separate for himself. We spoke after we ate for a couple of hours. I feel we
really made progress in terms of understand and showing respect for our differences. He conveyed
to me a sincere desire to not let our unlikeness ness get in the way of making music. A lot of
vulnerability was displayed tonight on both sides. This was great because it’s hard to build
trust without it.
Peace, John
April 14, 2000
Just got back a lot of show confirmations. The full list is on our Show Info page. This can
be found on the Band News page. I’m excited about the feedback from the booking people. I
was a little scared of what people will think of the music solely based on our CD. It’s funny,
it seems that in some cases, strangers respond a lot more enthusiastically than some
people that know me personally. I’m speaking about my family. My Mom loves everything I do but
my brothers could take Blendre or leave it. They’re married with children and feel the music
is too loud for them. They also prefer to hear me like they’re use to hearing me, sitting down and
singing at a piano, a Billy Joel clone. Needless to say I don’t do that any longer. I don’t even
play the piano anymore. Anyhow I’m real glad about the feedback from the booking people of most
clubs. Especially the ones in NYC. We’ve received no negative response from bookers; it’s
just that after getting some really enthusiastic ones it’s disappointing to get blah ones.
I know that’s the way things go. I’m not setting myself up to always hear praise.
I’m probably never going to read reviews, good or bad.
Peace, John
June 28, 2000
Tonight, we played our first unofficial, unannounced show. It was a dress rehearsal for our first
real show at Obsessions this Friday. It was at a bar Adam hangs out at, called Jimmy Macs. Its
somewhere in Tenafly, NJ. It looks like a great place to eat and hang out in but a horrible place for
live original music. It reminded me of an IHOP. Same lighting and atmosphere. There was no stage
area; we had to move tables and chairs. I couldn’t help but feel like we were intruding. I felt like
we were intruding and that the bar was doing us a favor and that we weren’t going to be able to make
it worth their while. We had to use all of our own equipment. My PA isn’t really made to use for
shows. It’s mostly meant just for a rehearsal in a small space. So all of the vocals sounded like I
was being held hostage and had to sing with a cloth over my mouth. We were also concerned about meeting
Adams friends. To add to the pressure Adam, invited his parents (who were awesome by the way). Adam’s
friends were cool too. They were polite and didn’t really look at Ed and I like we were some tattooed
weirdoes from the city. At least not to our faces. Well, unbeknownst to Adam, Ed and I were dreading
this night to begin with. Adam was very excited about playing here and we didn’t want to rain on his
parade, so we kept our mouth shut until the end of the evening. We knew it wasn’t the best venue for
Blendre music. The show itself was horrible but in a good way. It was really a character builder. We
were standing 3 feet from the bar. People were trying to watch the TV and were getting annoyed with each
song. Finally we finished to a smattering of polite applause. I ran out to the car like a ferret released
from a trapped with all of his limbs still attached and in working order, while Ed and Adam broke
down the equipment. Afterwards we stopped at a diner to gather our thoughts. When I looked at things
on the surface I was very upset because I have many standards for the band and felt we didn’t reach any
of them. But after talking about it with Adam and Ed I felt a lot better. I learned to let go a
little more of things that are out of my control. It wasn’t the end of the world. We didn’t kill
anyone. We weren’t awful; we were just out of our element. People don’t want to go out to eat and
have the surprise of loud music in their faces when they’re trying to watch the game. This evening makes
us really look forward to our show on Friday because right off the bat it will be an appropriate
venue. People will be more receptive to us there.
Peace, John
June 30, 2000
First off I must
say that Obsessions
has a great elevated
stage, great lighting
and good sound, and
it’s all ages allowed.
However,it’s in the
middle of nowhere,
NJ and has virtually
no walk in crowd. It’s
pay to play which
means you have to
sell tickets in order
to play there. They
have 6 bands a night.
The band that sells
the most tickets gets
to choose when they
go on. So, you walk
in the place not knowing
when it will be your
time to go on. In other
clubs they’ll give you
a time and it generally
is close to when you go
on give or take a ½ hour.
At this club you can go
on anywhere from 8:30pm –
1:30am. This makes it
difficult to get people
to go to the show because
you can’t give them
a precise time. It was
a miracle we were able
to sell 28 tickets. 20
was the minimum needed
to play. We arrived at
6:30pm. We were nervous
because it was our first
real show. Like I was
saying the club is really
a beautiful venue. We
didn’t get to go on
until 12:45am and we
weren’t the last band,
there was one more
after us. We were
exhausted but we did.
The crowd dwindled down
from 150 to 45. We managed
to keep these 45 people
alive and moving. They
responded very well.
Tonight also marked the
birth of the Blendrettes.
The Blendrettes
were this group of girls
who made their own
Blendre T-Shirts and
displayed their support
for the band in a very
enthusiastic way. They
really made the night
special for me. As a
band we did ok,we were
a little sloppy but for
the most part no one
noticed the few little
mistakes but us. Well,
with the exception of
when I messed up the
lyrics to Green. I
just finished writing
the lyrics in the car
on the ride to the club.
All throughout the evening
before we went on I had
the Blendrettes
help me with the memorizing
of the new words of the
night. Finally around 11:00pm,
I had the words burned
on my brain. Just as a
precaution, I had some
friends stand at the foot
of the stage with the
lyrics and the plan would
be for them to sing along ,
and if I got lost their
sing would hopefully jog
my memory. Or so I thought,
when the actual song had
to be sung of course I
went blank and sang some
gibberish. From the stage
I couldn’t hear or see
the my helpers. It was
really funny. I plodded
along and had a good time
and thankfully so did the
crowd. I do feel we were
the best band of the night.
We were the most professional
of the bands and we put on
a little show. I spoke
to the crowd a little,
I was the only member
of a band that even
acknowledged the club
and it’s owners from the
stage, I also was the only
person to wish everyone a
safe ride home. Adam broke
a string during the last song
and was a total pro. The way
he compensated, no one noticed.
Overall, it was a very pleasant
show. There is no doubt in
my mind that I want to do
this forever.
Peace, John
July 15, 2000
Despite Ed loosing a drum
stick the show went pretty well.
The crowd at Love Sexy was
made up friends and well wishers
of all of the bands mixed in with
a small percentage of walk
ins. We went on next to last
and were packed up and out of
the club by 12:30am. Getting out
was a lot easier than getting in.
Hoboken is a pain in the neck
when it comes to finding parking.
The sound system at the club sucks
and the sound guy doesn’t listen to
your requests but the location
of the place is good. It’s close
to home so it’s always easy to
get our friends to come to a show.
We’re getting better and better
by the minute. Things musically
feel tighter. I look forward to
more and more shows. I’m so glad
we have so many more booked. We
had to turn a few bookings down
because Adam wouldn’t be able to
make them because he would be
away on business, so, I had to
say a polite no thanks to
these clubs. If we didn’t have
so many shows lined up already
I would be upset about turning
down shows at this point but
right now I can’t complain.
Peace, John
August 17, 2000
It’s been about a month since
our last show. Today we are at
the famous Kenny’s Castaways
in NYC. The club itself is really
nice it’s not that big but it
has like 2 levels and video
monitors on the stage, really
cool. The sound system was
pretty good, probably the best
we’ve had so far. There was
a nice crowd for a Thursday
night. New York City always has
nice crowds any night of the week.
After unloading our equipment I
had to drive around for like
an hour looking for parking. Unlike
Hoboken, there are parking
lots on almost every block.
Just as I was about to shell
out twenty bucks to pay to
park, I lucked out and found
a spot around the corner from
the club. Once inside I was
greeted by friendly faces
some I knew and some I didn’t.
All 3 of us were very excited
and ready for this show our
New York City debut!
The show was going fine
until a drunk in the audience
kept yelling out the words
Weezer to the stage.
His yelling got so out of
hand that people in the
crowd started getting annoyed
at the idiot yelling. The
drunk didn’t annoy me until
I noticed that a fight was
about to break out between
Ed’s brother and the drunk.
At this point it was
very apparent to the
audience what was
going on and I grew more
concerned. Ed and Adam could
tell I was getting
worried. To them it looked
like I was thrown by the
drunk. They couldn’t
see that a fight was about
to break out. So, I stopped
the show. I walked off the
stage told the Ed
and Adam to keep playing
I shoved one of the
Blendrettes on
the stage to take my place
while I tried to calm the
situation. Yolanda,
the Blendrette did
a great job air guitaring
with my bass while
I was talking to the
drunk and his friends.
A minute or two later I
was back on the stage
and we finished the show
at a break neck pace.
Whew, what a show!
Afterwards Ed, Adam, and
I were all tense. I thought
it was great it was like
this great performance
art piece with audience
participation involved.
Adam was especially upset
because he thought it was
unprofessional of me
to stop the show and do
what I did. Well, I disagreed
with him. I believe 100% in
what I did. I involved the
audience in something much
more than a rock show.
It was awesome, it was a
happening. Adam either
doesn’t appreciate that
kind of art or is ignorant
of it. Adam doesn’t get Andy
Kaufman either. In any case
I’m sure Andy Kaufman would
have loved it and I’m sure
he would have thought the
drunk was a plant.
As an artist I was very proud
of how I handled the evening.
Here’s another cool thing that
happened. In the midst of all of
this, some agent guy who was
watching the show was so impressed
with us that he called a record
label friend of his during the
show and held up his cell phone
so he could listen to us while
we played. Afterwards he made a
comment to me that our music
sounded like the music from
the musical Rent. I
never heard that one before…
Even if nothing comes about
from this guy’s interest, it
still was a great thing to
happen. His intentions made me
feel validated in a way I’m usually
not looking to be validated in.
It made me want to keep on going.
It made my dreams seem a tiny
bit closer.
Peace, John
August 19, 2000
Today our show is back at
Love Sexy in Hoboken.
Adam and Ed were a little
shaken up about our last show.
I knew we would be just fine.
I said it before and I’ll
say it again, I hate the
sound system (sorry, John
Vargas)! I don’t mean to
sound like I’m bashing this
club. It is one of the best
spots in Hoboken, hell in
New Jersey. I’m just speaking
from my perspective
and am probably being
sensitive. Once again, we
went on last and most of the
crowd had left but the show
went well. We seemed to be
back on track.
Peace, John
September 25, 2000
I feel awful physically and
mentally. I had to cancel a
couple of our shows
because of a horrible
sinus infection.
I still feel sick.
I’ve never been
this sick in my life!
All I can say
is I would never
have cancelled a
show unless I was
in really bad
shape. Believe me I
was. I couldn’t even
stand up. I had this constant
buzzing in my ear.
The shows I had to cancel
were at the The Elbow Room
in NYC and The Liquid Lounge
in Hoboken. Once I’m back on
my feet I’m going to work
my butt off. I won’t
ever take a healthy minute
for granted again. Oh, if I
could only practice tonight, I’d
be so happy. I feel like I’m a
teenager who’s grounded on
a Saturday night. I feel like
the world is passing me by while
I’m stuck in this bed. Got to
go time to pop another augmentin.
Peace, John
October 13, 2000
We haven’t practiced as a band since
I was sick and it looks like it’s
going to be a while before we get
to practice. Adam’s away on business
again and when he returns, Ed starts
his busy season at his day job
and has to work late for 3 weeks.
Our next show is at The Elbow Room
in NYC on the 7th of November. I
hope we’re ready for it. I’ve been
thinking about the state of the
band during our down time. I’ve
come to a couple of profound
conclusions that I’m not
ready to face or share with Ed and
Adam yet. I’ll sit on these
conclusions for a while and
see what happens. Maybe I’ll
come to more realizations
that will make my previous
conclusions null and void.
Peace, John
October 29, 2000
Before today’s rehearsal we had a little
meeting. In the meeting we discussed
those conclusions I came to while
I was sick and lying in bed. The result
of the meeting was that we are going to
record another CD in December, then take
some time off to evaluate each of our
goals with the band and decide what our
next move will be. I hope we’re ready
for our next show. I look forward to
playing The Elbow Room. I enjoyed
that club as a patron and I look forward
to enjoying it as a musician.
Peace, John
November 7, 2000
It’s Election Day and our last
show of the year. We were suppose to
have our last show back at
Kenny’s Castaways on November 17,
but we had to cancel because Adam
will be away on business. I wish
we could have the 17th show be our last.
I wished we had more time to practice.
I mean we’ve been off for a long time.
Anyway, this was our first time
at The Elbow Room in the
Big Apple and all I can say
is I think this is the best venue
in the city! The sound system was
AWSOME ! I could hear myself through
the monitors perfectly. I felt for
the first time that I had actual
control over my performance because
I could finally hear myself. The
sound system was just top notch.
Adam had all of his family and
friends come to the show. His Dad
even videotaped the show. I thought
this was a bad idea because we’ve
been away from practicing for so
long. Adam didn’t care about capturing
this show on tape. It wasn’t perfect.
I mean for a while there we were
improving with every show. We didn’t go
backwards with this show but we
didn’t go ahead. Adam left the
adapter for his pedal for his guitar
so we were missing all of the neat
guitar effects and Adam looked like
he was disappointed. Once again no one
noticed but us. The crowd seemed
to enjoy us. I saw people bopping
up and down. A couple of people said
good show to me as I was leaving. One
guy even made a comment that he
liked my voice and that I sounded
like Dennis DeYoung. I thought
I’d feel sad about this being the
last show of the year but I don’t.
I think I’m just ready for the next step.
Peace, John
November 15, 2000
I came to the realization that it’s
ok for me to be a songwriter who
plays instruments, and not this great
instrumentalist. Don’t get me wrong,
I’m not going to take the bass less
seriously, it’s just that my goals
have changed with it. I love the bass
but I’m never going to be Flea.
And this is ok. I mean I’m a great
singer/songwriter and that’s enough.
I can carry my weight with the
instruments that I play and
that’s fine. Blendre’s
goal has always been to be a song
machine. Not a showcase for virtuosos.
So, I’ve been playing the piano (keyboard)
again and I’m thinking of bringing it
back into Blendre along with
playing the bass. I’ve also started
fooling around with my acoustic guitar
as well. I feel a lot less pressure
on myself. For the past year I put
myself in a dangerous position
as an artist by trying to impress
others with things that shouldn’t
be the focus of someone like myself.
In the past week I wrote 3 really
awesome songs that sound great with
just the piano so when the band brings
them to life they’re really going to
be cool. We’re just waiting for Adam
to come back from another business
trip so we can begin rehearsals for our
new CD. He should be back this Friday.
Peace, John
December 31, 2000
We didn’t start our association with Adam with the intentions of it ending. But lets just say all 3 of us now really understand the meaning of the term. creative differences. Blendre will start the New Year with a new guitarist and a new plan of action. Though we haven’t achieved all we set out for this past year, we are a hell of a lot further from where we started. Our hopes are to record another CD and to play shows on a wider scale at more locations all over the United States. We’d also like to branch out and become more supportive of, and participate more in the New York City Art Scene. And of course secure a record deal.
Happy New Year to all !
Peace, John