Backstreet Boys on Jerry Springer 2008

Announcer: Today on Jerry Springer. ::Shows clips from BSB's 1998 concert tour and clips from the ALAYLM Video:: Remember those Backstreet Boys from the 1990s? Ever Wonder where they are now? Jerry has the answer..NEXT!!

::Theme plays::

Jerry: Hello everybody and welcome to the show. 10 years ago, a popular singing group called the Backstreet Boys hit America by storm. Here's some clips of them. ::Shows clips of the boys in concert, and their videos.:: Yes, there they were. Exactly where are they now? Well, we have the answer. Here's Nick Carter, the youngest of the Backstreet Boys.

::Nick comes out, looking exactly like he did 10 years ago. Suddenly a group of women in their 30's with "Nick" written across their foreheads stand up and scream. Nick blows them a kiss and sits down while a few of them collapse::

Jerry: Well, welcome Nick. How have you been?

Nick: Hi Jerry ::with his cute little innocent smile::

Nick: Well currently, I resign in Florida.

Jerry: ...Resign?

::Nick Thinks for a moment::

Nick: I mean reside. Anyways, I'm currently a model.

Jerry: Well, it seems as though you're doing just fine. Let's bring out another Backstreet Boy, AJ McLean.

::Crowd claps but all of the sudden stops when they see AJ come out. He has long rainbow colored hair, 50 piercings, covered in tattoos, and is wearing a fur coat along with many gold chains and rings. He sits down next to Nick::

Jerry: Welcome to the show.

AJ: Whas Up, Jerry?

Jerry: Very interesting wardrobe AJ. So, what have you been doing, AJ?

AJ: Well, I currently own a dance club.

Nick: He's a pimp.

::Crowd gasps::

AJ: Shut the beep up you pansy.

Nick: I'm not a pansy...::pouts::

Jerry: Ok....well, let's bring out another backstreet boy, Brian Littrell.

::Brian comes out with a long blonde wig on, a tight posh spice gucci dress,

and high heels. The crowd gasps::

Jerry: Well...Is it Mr. or Miss. Littrell?

Brian: Mrs., and it's Mrs. Carter. He's my boyfriend.

::crowd gasp again and the remaining women with "Nick" written across their forehead collapse::

Jerry: This story just gets more and more interesting... Well, we might as well bring out the other two. Please welcome Howie D and Kevin Richardson.

::The two come out. Howie comes out with boots that have 6 inch heels and Kevin....hasn't changed. The two sit down next to Brian::

Jerry: Welcome to the show. Nice boots Howie.

Howie: Thanks ::winks::

Jerry: So, what have you two been up to?

Kevin: He's my cousin.

Jerry: ....What?

Kevin: He's my cousin.

Jerry: Ok....nice occupation you have there Kevin...and you, Howie?

Howie: Well, I work at AJ's dance club.

Brian: Yeah, as AJ's personal dancer tehe..

Howie: Shut the beep up you little beep!

Kevin: He's my cousin.

Brian: Who the hell are you calling a beep you BEEEPP!!

::The two start beating the crap out of each other until the security guards pull them apart::

AJ: BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!

::crowd gasps::

Jerry: ....Very interesting AJ. I think that was the longest beep in the history of the Jerry Springer show...

Nick: hehe, what a beep

AJ: What the beep did you just call me?

Nick: You heard me! ::pulls off AJ's wig revealing AJ's shiny bald head:: That's for burning my favorite comic book!!!

::Crowd once again gasps::

AJ: Why you little beepity beep!! ::strangles Nick to the ground and they start beating the crap out of each other until the security guards break them up as well.::

Jerry: We'll be right back.....

::commercial Break::

Announcer: Are you a former Nsync, 5ive, or Hanson member that now lives as a prostitute, transexual, a fat slob, a real estate agent, a dentist, or all of the above? Then Jerry wants to hear from you. Call now.

::Theme plays::

::All of the boys are sitting away from each other now. AJ's wig is crooked and he has a black eye and he has a few piercings ripped out by Nick so now he's bleeding.... Nick's hair is all frazzled and he has a cut on his face. Brian lost a heel, his makeup is smeared and his wig is crooked as well. Howie's shirt is ripped(hehe..) and he also has a black eye. While Kevin is peachy keen....::

Jerry: Welcome back. Today we're talking with the Backstreet...

::interupted by rustling on stage. Howie threw his chair at Brian. The security guards break them up again while the crowd chants "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!":: Well...we have another guest on the show.. Take a look at this: ::Shows clips of Aaron singing "Crush on you":: Please welcome, the Backstreet Baby, Aaron Carter! ::Lights dim and the music to "Crush on you" starts playing. Then a Nick Clone(Aaron) comes out singing "Crush on you". The crowd starts screaming while AJ is holding Nick back. Aaron sings one verse of "Crush on you" and sits down next to AJ::

Jerry: Welcome to the show Aaron. Why aren't you sitting next to your brother?

Aaron: Because he's a pansy. He's jealous of my success.

::Nick lunges toward Aaron and they scrap it up. The security guards break it up while the crowd chants the usual "Jerry!" over and over again like idiots::

Nick: You little piece of beep!

Aaron: If I'm a little piece of beep you're a bigger piece of beep!.

::The two go at it again. Crowd is still chanting "Jerry!" like a damn broken record. They're broken up again.::

Jerry: Well, let's get on with the show.

Kevin: Out the dizzo.

Jerry: ...What?

Kevin: Out the dizzo.

Jerry: Alright Kevin...whatever you say. So Nick, you had something to tell Brian?

Nick: Yes. ::faces Brian:: Brian... I'm married.

::Crowd gasps. The group of women with "Nick" written on their foreheads all wake up at the word "married".::

Brian: WHAT????::strangles Nick, until the security guards pull him off of

Nick::

Jerry: Please welcome, Nick's wife, Nen to the show.

::Nen comes on the stage and hugs and kisses Nick and they both sit down.

Brian lunges toward Nen but the security guard holds him back::

Brian: You little beep!! He's my man you beepity beep!

Jerry: What a surprise, there's more to the story....

Everyone on stage except for Nick and Kevin(who's just sittin there...): WHAT???

Jerry: Please welcome Nick's three other wives, BabyK, Nolechic1, and Niq13.

::The three come out and tower over Nick::

Wife #1: THREE other wives? What the beep am I?

Nick: Ummm, I can explain this.....

AJ: The boy's been gettin' busy, HAHA!!

Nen: Better explain fast, boy.

Nick: um... "To all the girls out there, you're mine girlfriend"? haha....ha...um..

::They still glare at him::

Nick: um....Saint Patrick shot me in the butt too many times?

Wife #2: It's Saint Valentine you moron! Why the hell do you think they call it "Valentines Day"???

Nick: I might be a moron....but I'm a cute moron....

::silence::

Wife #3: he's got a point...

Brian: I have a confession to make too....I've been cheating on you with Aaron.

::Crowd Gasps::

Aaron: The hell you did! Only in your dreams beep!

::Brian lunges at Aaron but it only backfires because Aaron starts beating the crap out of Brian. Nick's four wives start to beat the crap out of each other as well as the women with "Nick" written accross their foreheads. While Nick, AJ, and Howie go at it and Kevin is still just sitting there.::

::Jerry faces the camera for his final thought::

Jerry: Well, there you have it folks... ::Gets hit in the head with Howie's boot and passes out. The crowd continues like mindless idiots chanting "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!". Kevin comes up to the camera. He looks over his shoulder, then faces the camera again.

Kevin: Hey, I got my own show, what's up?

::Fighting continues in the background::

This was written by Miki.