I was raised a Baptist preacher's kid. I was "saved" when I was
old...a very young age. I recited verses from the Bible at an even younger
age. I sang "specials" in front of the congregation. I was a model Christian
As I got older I began reading the tracts that my dad gave out to people.
Much of it was about witchcraft and about how they all worship the devil.
Even the ones who say they don't do and it's best to say your prayers and go
to church and tell others the Gospel.
As a teenager, my dad and I would have discussions. Some of it
was about God,
some about other religions--mostly about how other religions were wrong--some
about science and philosophy. I think my dad is an extremely intelligent man,
an attribute I wish to also have. But he was narrow minded. After all the
Bible reminds Christians to stay on the "narrow path". And so my dad did.
I didn't always. Teenagers will be teenagers and so I had my party
sex days, and my fitful days. But I wanted to do the "right thing" and so I
went to church, hiding my sins from my parents and my church, and my God.
When I left home, I went to college. I met different people of different
backgrounds. It was enlightening to discover how the rest of the world lived.
At least from my vantage point of college.
I had a beloved English teacher I feel in my heart is a witch.
extremely wise and in touch with nature and had a great love of literature and
the arts. She expressed her views in class in subtle ways. She said
something to the class that had always been in the back of my mind: "How do
you know that your way is best? Everyone thinks that their way, their morals
are the only way. With a world of vastly different people how can there be
only one way. I believe there is a Being in this Universe. I don't know
whose God it is. But I choose my own path and we must all choose our own
paths to decide how to worship or whether to worship at all. There's no
universal right way. Only the right way for you." (I quote her because I
recorded my class lectures and decided to keep this tidbit of wisdom.)
Anyway, I stopped going to Church. I've visited occasionally to
be with my
family on certain occasions. One Mother's Day a guest pastor said in a loud
booming voice, "You're not a good mother unless you're a Christian mother!"
That really fried my ham.
For a while I have been searching. But I think now that I have found my way.
I just go married this summer, and I think my husband my lean this way too.
It gives me such a sense of freedom I've never felt before.
I still keep my Bible around too. It does have some good values
in it. I've
got to pick and choose what's right for me. "Love thy neighbor," is a good
one. But in my studies of the history of the Bible, I've found that they were
once pagans too, and the early followers of Yahweh didn't deny the existence
of other Gods, but chose to worship one. Eventually, it got twisted. Believe
what you will.
There might be a hell, but I don't know. I don't deny there might
Even bad ones. Just like there are good and bad people. (Bad being "harmful")
There is a Being, an Energy, a Presence, all that we can link to the divine.
There may be several beings. And even the Bible mentions "spiritual gifts"
which is just like magick (i.e., the gift of prophecy). And if I choose to
call that Being a Goddess I don't think that my way is any better or worse
than my dad's; except my way accepts his way and his will never accept mine.
I can never tell.
Lecia J. Blackman
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