:

Dennis Tyler was back at work Tuesday as Mayor of Muncie, a
day after being indicted for theft of federal funds.

                                                         [courtesy Indianapolis Star]
          

rachstuf.jpg South Bend's most wanted: James Nielsen,WM, 6'2" 245 lbs, possession of a syringe; Rachel Stuff, WF, 5'2", 115 lbs, child neglect; Adrian Thatcher, HM, 5'3", 140 lbs, sexual (mis)conduct with a minor (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

Indiana University declined demands  to fire an economics profes-
sor  who posted  "racist, sexist and homophobic” remarks  on  line
because of his right to freedom of speech.  The  remarks  included
"Geniuses are overwhelmingly male because they combine outlier
IQ with moderately low agreeableness   and moderately low cons-
cientiousness"  in an article titled "Are Women Destroying Acade-
mia?  Probably,"  "Women don’t belong in academia,  nor  do  gay
men  because  they’re  promiscuous  and  abuse students,"  "Black
students are unqualified to attend elite institutions and are inferior
academically  to  white students,"   "The whole idea of affirmative
action is that too few black students  would  get  in  without  racial
preferences; so we need to lower the standard for them and accept
that they will do worse academically,"  and "slut."  Executive Vice
President and Provost Lauren Robel,  who spoke for the university,
said,  "Professor Eric Rasmusen has,  for many years,  used his pri-
vate social media accounts to disseminate his racist,  sexist and ho-
mophobic views. . . .  I condemn, in the strongest terms, Professor
Rasmusen’s views on race,  gender, and sexuality;  and I think oth-
ers  should  condemn  them; . . . his views are stunningly ignorant
and bigoted. . . . But the university can't and won't fire Rasmusen,
employed at the university since 1992, for the posts,  as  vile  and
stupid  as  they  are,  because  the First Amendment of the United
States Constitution forbids us to do so."  [But can a professor not
be fired for  stupidity?  Aside from his racism and sexism, there's
"outlier IQ,"  and "conscientiousness" for "conscience."  The uni-
versity might consider firing the provost for stupidity as well: "A-
mendment of" for "Amendment to."  – Editor, Tabloid Headlines.]

                                                         [courtesy Columbus Republic]

A shot fired into a downstairs apartment in  La Grange  came
from a state trooper living upstairs, who unintentionally fired
his rifle (he "didn't know the gun was loaded"). . . .

The former principal of a Clark County vocational school, who
gained fame in 2009 for banning books with "homosexual  con-
tent," was indicted for child pornography.
                                                                          [courtesy LEX18]

 

pollardr.jpg Lexington's most wanted: Darryl Stewwart,BM,, 31, 275 lbs, featured fugitive of the week, possession of a firearm by a felon; Robert Pollard, WM, 45, 5'11", 150 lbs, failing to bathe; Sadonia Searight, BF, 30, 5'4", 175 lbs, Yorkshire hog of the week, overstay at the China Buffet; Jeremiah Burman, BM, 20, 152 lbs, brining contagious disease onto city bus; comlhick.jpg Daniel Comley, WM, 55, 240 lbs, insufficient concern for his fellow man; Colby Hickey, WM, 42, 6'2", 225 lbs,
Sleeping through jury duty; Christopher Coup, WM, 28, 5'9", 140 lbs, leaving his girl friend rideless at the hop; Tamayas Moore, BM, 25, 6'0", 145 lbs, overdieting; John Snow, WM, 25, 6'5", 180 lbs, pulling snow jobs; Donald Whitaker, WM, 58, 175 lbs, dribbling piss on the café floor on way back from the men's room (dragged kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader)

Quotations of the Wheat (Simon said):       "The way to a woman's heart is through her lower front         orifice."                                                                        – Leonard Simon

penningt.jpg Wanted in Wichita Falls (Texas, not Wichita, Kansas) (Texoma's most wanted fugitives of the week): Laquenton Talbert, BM, 24, 6'0", 160 lbs, surety off bond (gun theft); Miranda Lyn Hollis, WF, 30, 5'5", 150 lbs, bond forfeiture (controlled subst.); Terry James Pennington, WM, 59, 6'0", 200 lbs, probation violation (possession); Muhona Smith, BF, 41, 5'2", 240 lbs, Yorkshire hog of the week, probation violation (forgery); Andreas Mendoza Soza, HM, 43, 5'3", 143 lbs, bond forfeiture (contr. subst.) (Wichita Falls Crime Stoppers)

Shortly after the regional council of Veneto, on Venice' Grand Canal
in Italy, voted against climate-change legislation,  its chambers were
flooded. . . . Feral hogs in Tuscany,  in  Italy,  destroyed cocaine hid-
den in a forest worth $22,000. . . .The  Imjin  River   in South Korea
turned  red  from the blood of 47,000 pigs slaughtered to prevent the
spread of African swine fever. . . . . Two New York jail guards were
charged with falsifying records by reporting they attended to Jeffrey
Epstein every 30 minutes the night he died  (they were sleeping  and
surfing the internet, the indictment said). .  .  .  A Detroit, Michigan,
mother sued the Catholic Church because the priest  who  preached
the funeral of her 18-year-old son, who died by suicide,  questioned
whether the boy had repented enough to get into Heaven. .  .  . Tom
Hanks,  who plays Mr. Rogers  in his new movie,   found  out  after
making the movie that he and Mr. Rogers were sixth cousins. . . . A
14-year-old white boy in Naperville, Illinois, posted a photo of a 14-
year-old black classmate on Craigslist over  the  caption  "Slave  for
sale."
                                                            [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

shalyajp.jpg Wanted in Waco: Michael Detroy Davis, BM, 27, 6.0", 230 lbs, probation viol. (evading arrest); Shalya J. Perot, BF, 32, 5'2", 121 lbs, prob. viol. (hindering apprehension); Krisean Gibson, BM, 20, 6'2", 255 lbs, probation viol. (aggravated robbery (City of Waco); Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Arianna Nicole BuffaloHead, Indian female, 19, 5'3", 140 lbs, distribute marijuana, paraphernalia (Sedgwick County (Kas.) Sheriff)

burneyja.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County, Texas, Sheriff): José Martinez, 33, possession c.s.; Leixus Burney-Jackson, 18, DUI, paraphernalia; Janie Samarripa, 31, weight not given but she sure looks like a Yorkshire hog, controlled substances; Shawna Campbell, 30, trespassing; Jordan Chapoy, 32, ag. assault; Ashley Herrera, 35, c.s., paraph.; Monalinda Rodriguez, 41, DUI 3d; Tiffany McGuire, 21, trespassing; Katherine Gideon, 53, forgery

       

lifeshot.jpg "Walgreen's drive thru pharmacy: Get your shongles shit today" Life Saver Dude: Well, shot, fore

J. Ewing wrote Sun 11/10/19 @09:07 EST:

I have one thing to say about wild pigs invading
Edmonson County:  BBQ!

conduct. . . .

Dolche the cat, 1 year old, is available for adoption  at  Fort  Wayne  Animal Care and Control. . . . The three Southern Indiana judges  in- volved in a shooting in a White Castle parking  lot  in Indianapolis  last  May have been suspended for  judicial  mis-

The thermometer hit a record low of 8° in Indianapolis Tuesday, No-
vember 12, giving the city its first fall reading in single digits.. . . .

                                                              [courtesy Columbus Republic]

evansvil.jpg Evansville's most wanted (courtesy WKDQ): Shannon Ray Roberts, James Matthew Stone, Sylvia Brittany Kay Reeves, Maurice Douglas Kirby, Case Lee Smith (captured)

angelaea.jpg Lexington's most wanted: Dominique Hocker, BM, 28, 6'4", 205 lbs., hocked his mother; Angela Eads, WF, 42, 150 lbs, bad to the bun; Nathaniel Parish, WM, 23, 6'5", 250 lbs, cunnilingus with a toddler; Sedonia Searght, BF, 30, 5'4", 175 lbs, seasick on land; Lawrence Humber, BM, 62, 5'9", 167 lbs, asleep at the wheel of a school bus (pulled kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader)

A Kenton County atheist won the right in federal court to use a
personalized auto license plate bearing  "IM GOD"  on the face
(above the phrase "One Nation Under God").

                                             [courtesy Lexington Herald-Leader]

Crossword puzzle clue of the week:  "Cat, when provoked"  (ans.: HISSER).                                                                                             [courtesy New Yorker]

jamesonj.jpg Wanted in Wichita Falls (Texas, not Wichita, Kansas): Johnny Lee Green, BM, 38, 6'0", 230 lbs, failure to register; Melissa McCormick, WF, 37, 5'6", 150 lbs, probation violation (contr. substs.); Billy Jameson, BM, 23, 6'3", 200 lbs, bond forfeiture (aggravated assault); Ashley Marie Adams, BF, 28, 5'5", 131 lbs, surety off bond (tamper w/ev.) (Wichita Falls Crime Stoppers)

Kate and Meghan attended Britain's Festival of Remembrance together. . . .
The original Marlboro Man, reported in last week's deaths column as hav-
ing expired at the age of 90, never smoked. . . . Neil Young's U.S. citizen-
ship application has been delayed by his admission of marijuana use. .  .  .
Sean Spicer was voted off Dancing with the Stars. . . . A man whose curb
was damaged by city snow-removal equipment in Winnipeg,  Canada,  in
1993 received word that repair work would be completed by 2037 . . . Sci-
entists determined that dogs direct their bowel movements  along a north-
south axis in accordance with the earth’s magnetic field. . . . Pictures of a
student protest against Jeff Sessions at Northwestern University in Evans-
ton, Illinois, were taken down by the student newspaper after  the  protest-
ers complained of the coverage. . . . California Congressman Raul Ruiz, a
Democrat, faces a challenge in next year's election by Raul Ruiz, a Repub-
lican. . . . Massachusetts residents may now opt for a "nonbinary" "gender"
"X" designation on their drivers' licenses and ID cards.  .  .  .  Cows swept
off an island in North Carolina's Outer Banks by Hurricane Dorian wound
up on another island four miles away, alive. .  .  .  The Ohio House of Rep-
resentatives passed a  Student Religious Liberties Act  that would prohibit
penalizing students for wrong answers to science questions  if the answers
are based on the student's religious belief.
                                                                    [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]   

An Italian youth soccer team abandoned plans to play in blackface as an anti-racism
protest.  "We received e-mails telling us it could be perceived as offensive  in  some
cultures," the team’s manager said. . . .  Colin Kaepernick changed the venue for his
24-team National Football League tryout, and the NFL called him a no-show. . . .


 Volleyball hotties: Preakness 2009; Paris Creed; Mission Beach 2001; London 2012.

a dirty old man in a garbage can.   I used to be an altar                             boy, but now I have the clap again. How can I ever for-                             give her for my living hell?                                                                                            Now Wheatless

DISCUSSION GROUP:    Don't forget!  Readers interested in intellectu- al dissection of important current events  are in- vited  to attend the Weekly World News Round Table  at  the  offices  of   Borf   Books  outside Brownsville,  Kentucky, just  after church every Sunday. Guest speakers lined up for meetings in the near future include Elitsa Bizios.

menendez.jpg Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls,Texas): Robert Charles Perry Jr., WM, 45, 5'10", 177 lbs, tattoos on chest, bird and mother's portrait, tigers on right arm and left calf, probation viol. (opiates); Alicia Menendez a/k/a Martinez, WF, 29, 5'4", 174 lbs, aggravated assault on a policeman; Taylor Jordan Forrester, WM, 28, 5'7", 176 lbs, tattoos "KK" l. hand, "316" right hand, skull and "Pride and good times" on left forearm, "White" on right forearm, "Rhonda" on neck, probation violation (opiates); Carl Preston Harris, BM, 27, 5'6", 120 lbs, tattoos star, flowers & "Carl" on l. shoulder, "Carl" on rt. forrearm, probation violation (burglary) (Sedgwick County Sheriff)

nisasanc.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County, Texas, Sheriff): Joseph Holt, 22, theft; Taylor Dawson, 26, marijuana; Samantha Skains, 28, theft; Chrystal Taylor, 32; Tresa Vestal, 58; Lydia Barrera, 31; Nisa Sanchez, 25, manslaughter; Sarah Hayes, 34, forgery

lifesig1.jpg Caution this sign has sharp edges do not touch the edges of this sign Life Saver Dude: So, what's the point of this sign?

:

Two Amish were killed and by a van that rear-ended their buggy
in Parke County, and two others and the horse were injured. . . .

                                                         [courtesy Columbus Republic]

angelarid.jpg Nicholas Oliver, WM, 5'10", 175 lbs, auto theft, parole absonder; Angela Riddle, WF, 5'0", 160 lbs, burglary; James Hamilton, BM, 5'9", 180 lbs, residential entry (funny way to spell burglary) (Michiana Crime Stoppers; Wanted in Terre Haute: Levi Joy, WM, 28, 5'9", 210 lbs, gun theft (Wabash Valley Crime Stoppers)

Wild pigs invaded Edmonson County.
                                                                [courtesy Edmonson News]

Governor Selfie was the only Republican who lost in last week's e-
lections.
                                                                                [courtesy LEX18]


                       

tonishah.jpg Lexington's most wanted (pulled kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader): James Craft, WM, 38, 5'9', 155 lbs, sap; Eric Sampson, WM, 29, 6'1", 160 lbs, saplicker, Tonisha Hendrickson, B [sic] F, 28, 5'1", 160 lbs, inducing son, 10, to fuck her in the butt; Joshua Dixon, WM, 43, 5'11", 165 lbs, mobery; Ricky Flynn, WM, 48, 6'1", 200 lbs, parole violation; nichmand.jpg Perps of Paducah: Nicholas Charles Roesner, WM, 36, bond revoc.; Amanda Renée King, 35, probation violation; Timothy Guffey, WM, 56, theft by deception (McCracken County Sheriff)

markavio.jpg Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas): Kevin Aaron Deluna, HM, 41, 5'6", 170 lbs, indecency with a child; Deuntre Markavious Jackson, BM, 25, 5'8:, 165 lbs, deadly conduct; Todd Lee Pollow, WM, 48, 6'2", 230 lbs, meth; Quinton Ugene Walker, BM, 37, 5'7", 145 lbs, aggrav.assault; Douglas Eugene Roberts, WM, 39, 6'0", 245 lbs, probation violation (sex offender)

A house projecting 50 feet off the ero- ded shore of Lake Michigan, in Som- ers, Michigan, will be taken down. . . . A man took an electric shopping cart from a Wal-Mart  in Houma,  Louisi- ana, and drove it to a  bar half a mile away. . . .  Officials and animal sanc- tuary workers in hazmat garb remov- ed more than  600  lovebirds  from a

home in El Mirage,  a suburb of Phoenix,  Arizona. . . . An anti-vaccin-
ation Australian mother of a son with chicken pox handed out pox-tain-
ted lollipops to trick-or-treaters. . . .  A koala escaped  from a bush fire
in New South Wales,  Australia,  and rescuers named it Corduroy Paul.
.  .  .  McDonald's in Portugal apologized for using the phrase "Sundae
Bloody Sundae" in  Hallowe'en ads  for  ice cream  pudding. . . . Sears
and K-Mart announced the closing of 96 more stores. . . . A 6-year-old
boy brought a loaded gun to school in Columbus,  Ohio.. . . One of the
three New York City Council members from Staten Island  moved  for
Staten  Island  to secede from the city. . . . Vanna  White  took  over  as
host of television's Wheel of Fortune while  Pat  Sajak  underwent  sur-
gery.
                                                              [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

laceenic.jpg Wanted in Wichta Falls (Texas, not Wichita, Kaansas): Texoma's most wanted fugirtives: Carolyn Jean Johnson, BF, 64laceenic.jpg Wanted in Wichta Falls (Texas, not Wichita, Kaansas): Texoma's most wanted fugirtives: Carolyn Jean Johnson, BF, 64, 5'2", 110 lbs, probation viol. (c.s.); George E. Cook, WM, 37, 6'0", 250 lbs, surety off bond (forgery); Lacee Nicole Hoover, WF, 34, 5'2", 200 lbs, surety off bond (controlled substance in drug-free zone, overstay at China Buffet); Moises Quintero, HM, 27, 5'5", 154 lbs, bond forf. (failure to register as sex offender); Justin Patrick Pitts, BM, 21, 5'7", 150 lbs, tampering w/evidence (Wichita Falls Crime Stoppers)

billalmo.jpg Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Kansas) (courtesy Sedgwick County Sheriff: Billal Mohamed Halabi, W[?]M, 35, 5'10", 175 lbs, probation violation; Shelby Nicholson, WF, 23, 5'3", 176 lbs (Yorkshire hog), probation violation (Big Dame eyebrow punck); Cory James Buffum, WM, 34, 5'11", 210 lbs, tattoos neck and left lege, probation violation; Damien Earl James, BM, a/k/a Big Dame, 40, 6'0", 260 lbs, probation violation

Another horse died at Santa Anita (in the last race of the meet).

       

DISCUSSION GROUP:    Don' t  forget!  Readers  interested in  intellectual  dissection  of import- ant  current  events  are invited to at- tend the Weekly World News Round Table at the offices of Borf Books out- side Brownsville, Kentucky, just after church  every  Sunday.  Guest  speakers Christi and Malachi.

lined up for meetings in the near future include

:

Elkhart  decided to repave its airport after two planes  sank  into
the  asphalt  over the summer,  in temperatures only in the 70's. . . .

A doctor who had performed more than 50,000 abortions  in Fort
Wayne, South Bend and Gary, Indiana, and Chicago, Illinois, left
a collection of 2,246 fetuses at his home in Chicago when he died
in September.
                                                         [courtesy Columbus Republic]

illinois.jpg ILLinois has an ILL tax system THINKentucky (ThinKentucky.com/Nos

Billboards were erected in Illinois to lure business to Kentucky
(the first one said, "Illinois isn't pro-business, Kentucky is").

                                                         [courtesy Chicago Tribune]

The Cee Bee grocery in Brownsville was selling strips of meat
in a package labeled "boneless ribs" (putting one little word af-
ter another,  and,  how can they call them  ribs  if they're  bone-
less?)
                                                    [a Tabloid Headlines exclusive]

The federal judge who dismissed the suit by Covington Catho-
lic High School pupil Nick Sandmann against the Washington
Post has revived it. . . .

CBD  gummies  were  found  in  trick-or-treat bags in Whitley
County.
                                                                         [courtesy LEX18]

teoklaha.jpg Lexington's most wanted: Jaquan Johnson, BM, 20, 5'8", 140 lbs, sex with a chocolate Yorkshire hog; Abigail Bath, WF, 21, 5'4", 180 lbs, Yorkshire hog of the week runner-up, claiming the title; Anngelica White, BF, 22, 5'5", 220 lbs, claiming to be white and to weigh only 180 lbs; Teola Harris, BF, 38, 5'7", 145 lbs, robbery of a 7-11 and blaming it on her twin sister (dragged kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader); neoklaha.jpg Gerald Wright, WM, 53, 220 lbs, impersonating Jerry Garcia; Roger Stewart Jr., 46, 5'11", 245 lbs, dyeing hair black and hitting on a teen-ager; Jesse Cross, WM, 25, 5'11", 150 lbs, entering high school girls' washroom; Neokla Harris, BF, 38, 5'7", 135 lbs, robbing a 7-11 & blaming twin sister

Quotations of the Wheat (Simon said):       "What a great day!  God should be proud!"                                                                            – Leonard Simon

<–––  Dywaun L. Knox, 39             Joseph "Joe" Lee, 45            Almanza Lyons, 56            Joseph "Joe" Minton, 59            Gool Randelia, 81 ––––––––>            Hank Williams Jr., 35            Joseph "Flat Pick Joe" Yates, 75

A sinkhole swallowed half a city bus in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. .  .  . A
new species of beetle was recognized, and named Nelloptodes gretae, af-
ter Greta Thunberg.  . . .  A 10-year-old boy was summoned for jury duty
in Glastonbury,  Connecticut. . . . A lady bartender in O'Fallon, Missouri,
won $50,000 on a lottery ticket left to her as a tip. .  .  . John Legend and
Kelly Clarkson amended the lyrics of the 1944 hit  "Baby,  It's Cold Out-
side"  to get the "Me Too"-ism out of it. . . . Donald Strump moved from
New York to Florida.
                                                                 [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

kariinam.jpg Wanted in Wichita Falls (Texas,not Wichita, Kansas; Texoma's most wanted fugitives of the week): Miguel Garcia-Navarro, HM, 27, 5'7", 184 lbs, probation viol. (contrr. substs.); Karina Marie Craig, WF, 34, 5'3", 167 lbs., Yorkshire hog wannabe, probation viol. (robbery); Zack Miller Flynn, WM, 44, 6'1", 220 lbs, probation violation (contr. subs.); Africa S. Vinson, BF, 26, 5'2", 278 lbs, Yorkshire hog of the week, probation violation (obstruction);  Anthoney Bowen, BM, 23, 6'1", 320 lbs, bond forfeiture – family viol.

lchowell.jpg Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): L. C. Howell Jr. ,WM, 60, 5'11", 170 lbs, opiates; Marcus Bearden, BM, 30, 5'6", 150 lbs, aggravated assault; Taylor Wingelaar, WM, 32, 6'3", 250 lbs, theft (Sedgwick County Sheriff); Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County, Texas, Sheriff): Lily Garza, WF, 33, fraud; Martha Mendoza, WF, 31, mobery 

Two models behind home plate bared their boobies  in  game 5 of
the World Series in Washington, D.C., last Sunday night; and, yes,
it was on television,  and,  yes,  there's  video.    They were thrown
out of the game  and  barred  from  future  games  by major league
baseball, which seems to be losing its focus. . . . A Washington fan
in the bleachers, with a beer in each hand, stopped a home run with
his chest in the second inning of the game,   and Budweiser bought
him a ticket for game 6,  in Houston. . . .  Not a single game of this
year's World Series was  played in the daylight this year  (baseball
seems to have abandoned competition with  football, and is no lon-
ger the "national pastime"), and none of the seven games was won
by the home team.. . . . The winning Washington team's nickname
is the  "Nationals" – "Nats."  for  short – is in the National League;
but the original American League team,  that won their last World
Series in 1924) also was known as the "Nats" – short for "Se-NAT-
ors." . . . But perhaps the ugliest part of this year's Series was coun-
try singer Cody Johnson's rendition of the National Anthem before
game 7 – he hit the pitch occasionally, but adding his Texas twang
made it perhaps the most  obscene  rendition of the "Star Spangled
Banner" since Roseanne Barr's  at a San Diego Padres game in 19-
90. . . . Another race horse died at Santa Anita.

marissad.jpg Locked up in San Angle (by the Tom Green County, Texas, Sheriff): Michael Poth, WM, 47, theft: Marissa Dixon, WF, 20, fake license plate; Josilyn Hernandez, WF, 22, assault on public seervant; Haylee Baker, WF, 18, mobery; Lolita Penigar, BF, 44, auto theft; Hazalynn Walker, WF, 32, cont. sub.; Veronica Tanguma, WF, 28, mobery; Emilio Lopez, WM, 32, aggr. assault

DISCUSSION GROUP:    Don't  forget!  Readers  interested  in intellectual dissection of important cur- rent  events  are  invited  to  attend  the Weekly World News  Round  Table  at the  offices  of   Borf   Books   outside Brownsville,    Kentucky,    just   after church  every  Sunday.    Guest  speak- ers lined up for  meetings  in  the  near future include Rubina Naz.

lifehydr.jpg "Dude, I warned you" Life Saver Dude: Happy Hallowe'en, folks