Life is uncertain
- eat dessert first!
I'd give up chocolate, but I'm no quitter....
There is nothing better than a good friend
- except a good friend with chocolate.
A balanced diet consists of items
from the five major food groups:
dairy, grains, meats, fruits/vegetables, and chocolate.
Coffee.... Chocolate.... Men....
Some things are just better when they're rich!
Nothing chocolate... nothing gained.
Anything tastes better dipped in chocolate.
Nobody knows the truffles I've seen!
Chocolate: Here today .... Gone today!
I'll eat anything, as long as it's chocolate.
I have this theory
that chocolate slows down the aging process....
It may not be true,
but do I dare take the chance?
Just give me the chocolate and no one gets hurt!
WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX!
You can GET chocolate.
"If you love me you'll swallow that"
has real meaning with chocolate.
Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
You can make chocolate last as long as you want.
You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.
If you bite the nuts too hard
the chocolate won't mind.
Two people of the same sex can have chocolate
without being called nasty names.
The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.
You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk
during working hours
without upsetting your co-workers.
You can ask a stranger for chocolate
without getting your face slapped.
With chocolate there's no need to fake it.
Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
Good chocolate is easy to find.
You can have as many kinds of chocolate
as you can handle.
You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
When you have chocolate
it does not keep your neighbors awake.
With chocolate size doesn't matter.
"The Rules of Chocolate"
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,
Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices
The problem:
Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal.
If calories are an issue,
If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate,
Money talks.
Chocolate has many preservatives.
Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your A nice box of chocolates can provide your
If you can't eat all your chocolate,
you're eating it too slowly.
& strawberries all count as fruit,
so eat as many as you want.
How to get 2 pounds of chocolate
home from the store in a hot car.
The solution:
Eat it in the parking lot. :)
It'll take the edge off your appetite,
and you'll eat less.
store your chocolate on top of the fridge.
Calories are afraid of heights,
and they will jump out of the chocolate
to protect themselves.
is that a balanced diet?
Don't they actually counteract each other?
Chocolate sings.
Beautifully.
Preservatives make you look younger.
Therefore, you need to eat more chocolate.
list of things to do today.
That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
total daily intake of calories in one place.
Now, isn't that handy?
it will keep in the freezer.
But if you can't eat all your chocolate,
what's wrong with you?
Take this cute chocolate test to find out your true being...
If you were buying candy and you had your choice of the following, which would you choose?
BABY RUTH You are sweet, loving, and cuddly. You love all warm/fuzzy items. A little nutty. Sometimes you need an ice cream cone at the end of the day.
3 MUSKETEERS You are adventurous, love new ideas, are a champion of underdogs and a slayer of dragons. When tempers flare up, you whip out your sabre.
BUTTERFINGER You are smooth and articulate, an excellent after-dinner speaker. You are a good teacher. But don't try to walk and chew gum at the same time.
SNICKERS You are fun-loving, sassy, and humorous. Everyone enjoys being around you. But you are a practical joker - others should be cautious in shaking hands with you!
HERSHEY'S You are romantic, warm, and loving. You care about other people and can be counted on in a pinch. You tend to melt and get gushy if held too close.
ALMOND JOY You are sexy, always ready to give and receive. Very energetic, and really like to get into life. The opposite sex is always attracted to you.
CLARK BAR You like sports, whether baseball, football, basketball, or soccer. If you could, you would like to participate, but enjoy watching sports. You don't like to give up the remote control.
GOOD 'n' PLENTY You are a very fun-loving person, who likes to laugh. You are fun to be with. People like to go to the movies with you. Children find you amusing. You are a very warm-hearted person.
ENERGY BAR Life is passing you by. Get a life! Go eat a plum.
CHOCOLATE COATED RAISINS You go to the bathroom often.
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