Moving Day!
So much has happened since I started these pages. The summer of '99 was such a turning point...We've moved from our little 2 bedroom "EZ Bake Oven" Duplex into a very nice 3 bedroom unit, complete with a fully equipped kitchen, and best of all...Central Air! And just in time for the ferocious heat wave that had us in its grasp for two weeks of 100 degree weather. We are so thankful! Our new home is nestled in the trees, we have a deck, and a huge backyard. This is something we have worked for and prayed about for so long, and really feel good about the progress we have made as a family.
And what's the worst thing about moving? EVERYTHING! I hate packing up my belongings, hauling it all out for the neighbors to see...I hate for the people who are helping me move see all the stuff that has found it's way under the sofa, or on the side of the bed that's against the wall. And where does all the trash come from? Why is it when a person moves we can suddenly live without all those catalogs and junk mail we've been holding on to for the last year and a half?
Then there is the "moving in" to the new place...box after box after box of stuff to find a place for, and then once you get everything put away, comes the question of the next few days..."Now where did I put that (fill in the blank)?" Of course, being the Mommy of the house, I was supposed to know where everything was, right off the bat. Kid: "Mommy, where is the silverware?" "In the drawer." "Which drawer?" How hard is it really, to open drawers in a kitchen until you find the silverware? I really liked this one: "Mommy, where are the towels?" "In the Linen Closet." My little darling opens the Linen Closet door and says, "Which shelf?" "The shelf where all the towels are folded up nice and neat." "Oh."
And Toys! My goodness, no wonder there were so many toys on the floor in the bedroom. The toybox was full of so many broken pieces of toys, it took two trash bags and a full scale war of wills just to get that out to the curb. Honey, why would you want to keep two pieces of that puzzle? The rest are all gone, how much fun is it to put two pieces together?" "I LOVED THAT PUZZLE!" "You didn't love it enough to keep all the pieces together..." "Well, I would have if I knew we were moving and you would throw all my stuff away!"
Of course, we moved in July, when the summer is just kicking in, and in my area, the humidity lays on you like a thick, sticky blanket. The kind of hot that makes you sweat so much that it gets in my eyes and makes them sting. The kind of hot that you have to keep moving just to keep a breeze blowing around you, and if you stop, you either melt, or there's a chance you won't get started again. I ended up leaving my miniature refrigerator and old decrepit stove in the old place. The next unfortunate renter can have them, for all I cared at that point.
We had 4 pick up truck loads of big stuff, and 3 van loads of the rest...2 guys, 3 girls, 1 teenage girl (who is strong as an ox) and 3 little boys (all trying to carry the "heaviest" bag). Why doesn't heat affect little kids? Us grown-ups were panting and sweating, they are hooping and hollering and running around like little banshees.
Oh, I almost forgot, the ritual of transferring utilities. The electricity was already on, thank goodness, but the gas wasn't, and of course, the hot water heater is gas...we moved in on Saturday, but the earliest they could come out was on Tuesday, which they did, but wouldn't light the pilot light because there wasn't a vent in the door...so my landlord has to come out that evening, and when he did, he noticed a gas smell, which meant an emergency call to good old MGE, who could get there in 30 mins, because it was an emergency. Now, I had to wait for 4 days to get a hot shower, but they could come out in 30 mins. I made a mental note on that one. The phone number was simply a transfer, but couldn't be turned on until Wednesday. A mere flick of the switch in the office, no one had to come to my house, just some technician flipping switches, couldn't get to my switch until 5 days after I moved. It sure doesn't take them 5 days to flip that switch if you're late with a payment! You know I'm right on that one! Thank goodness I wasn't signing up for cable tv, I'd probably still be on the waiting list!
And now that I've shared that bit of good news with you, lets get on with the sarcasm and humor, shall we?
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
When everything's coming your way,
you're in the wrong lane.
24 hours in a day ...
24 beers in a case ... coincidence?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
I used to have an open mind
but my brains kept falling out.
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
Success always occurs in private,
and failure in full view.
The hardness of the butter is proportional
to the softness of the bread.
The problem with the gene pool
is that there is no lifeguard.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
The sooner you fall behind,
the more time you'll have to catch up.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
If you must choose between two evils,
pick the one you've never tried before.
Change is inevitable... except from vending machines.
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
If you think nobody cares about you,
try missing a couple of payments.
Drugs may lead to nowhere,
but at least it's the scenic route.
Borrow money from pessimists
they don't expect it back.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
I believe five out of four people
have trouble with fractions.
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses
of bald men?
We should put pictures of missing husbands
on beer cans.
If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?
Clones are people two.
If a man says something in the woods
and there are no women there,
is he still wrong?
Whatever happened to preparations A through G?
So what's the speed of dark?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam,
what do you pack it in?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Whose cruel idea was it
for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
If it's zero degrees outside today
and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow,
how cold is it going to be?
Never be afraid to try something new.
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
Stupidity got us into this mess -
Even if you are on the right track,
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world.
There is always death and taxes;
I don't mind going nowhere
Make failure your teacher, not your undertaker.
It hurts to be on the cutting edge.
I don't get even, I get odder.
In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
I always wanted to be a procrastinator,
My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.
I am having an out of money experience.
I am in shape.
Not afraid of heights - afraid of widths.
I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad,
If marriage were outlawed,
If it weren't for me,
I am not a perfectionist. My parents were though.
It's frustrating when you know all the answers,
I finally got my head together,
The real art of conversation
Remember, amateurs built the ark.
Professionals built the Titanic.
why can't it get us out?
you'll get run over if you just sit there.
They should both be changed regularly
and for the same reason.
A pessimist fears that this is true.
however death doesn't get worse every year.
as long as it's an interesting path.
never got around to it.
Round is a shape.
I take something for it.
only outlaws would have in-laws.
there'd just be a pile of my clothes on the floor.
but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
and my body fell apart.
is not only to say the right thing at the right time,
but also to leave unsaid
the wrong thing at the tempting moment.