| ID |
POSTER NAME |
SUBJECT |
| 0 | Duck | Why did the chicken cross the road? |
| 1 | E. Hemingway | To die. In the rain. |
| 2 | Capt. Jean Luc Picard, USS Enterprise | To go where no chicken has gone before |
| 3 | Sid Viscious | Because it was stapled to the punk rocker |
| 4 | another anti-meditec | The chicken crosses everyone . . . just like meditec. |
| 5 | Alan Greenspan | Irrational exuberance! |
| 6 | Albert Einstein | Perhaps the road crossed the chicken; it's all relative |
| 7 | "Library Guy" | To buy thingies anonymously. |
| 8 | Sir Edmond Duck | "Because it was there!" |
| 9 | Kenneth Starr | I'll have my staff prepare a list of potential witnesses to be subpoenaed for the grand jury. |
| 10 | "meditec" | Would you repeat the question? |
| 11 | Alex Trebec | Correct. |
| 12 | Bill Clinton | I don't remember a chicken crossing the road. |
| 13 | Al Gore | I saw the chicken go across, but I didn't realize it was a road. |
| 14 | I. Newton | Why did the egg cross the road? It had the inclination. |
| 15 | Hillary Clinton | That chicken needs my healthcare program |
| 16 | Homer J. Simpson | That chicken got away from me -- DOH! |
| 17 | Nike | Just to Do It! |
| 18 | Thomas Aquinas | For all the wrong reasons |
| 19 | S. Freud | Sex |
| 20 | I. Stravinsky | It was harder to hear the violas that way. |
| 21 | Doc Brown | Because it had no Free Will |
| 22 | Bill Clinton | I never crossed the road with that chicken |
| 23 | bb("small-font man") | To show the Possum it COULD be done!! |
| 24 | Jokerman | It was the chicken's cross to bear! |
| 25 | bb("mad programmer") | That was no chicken, that was a mad cow that THOUGHT it was a chicken. |
| 26 | Darren | Because it had free will! |
| 27 | Jokerman | Keeripes, bb! You better keep quiet about mad cows... |
| 28 | Guinevere | The aforementioned poultry, hereafter "chicken," did purportedly cross the said blacktop and/or |
| 29 | Perry Mason | Objection!! Your Honor, counsel is trying to lead the chicken! |
| 30 | O.J. Simpson | You can't prove he crossed the road. |
| 31 | Jerry Springer | Tune in tomorrow to find out the truth. |
| 32 | Andy Grove | Only the paranoid survive |
| 33 | Lord Jim | Good one Guin. But game, set, and match to... |
| 34 | Lugnut | You contributors to this thread... |
| 35 | I won't admit to this one | She had run a-fowl of the law |
| 36 | Chicken | Because I can't fly two flippin' feet with these stupid wings! |
| 37 | Logical Positivist (alias Tom Swift) | To Cross The Road |
| 38 | Jean-Paul Sartre | To Be Free |
| 39 | My First Wife | To Find Herself |
| 40 | Ralph Waldo Emerson | The chicken did not cross the road, it transcended it. |
| 41 | Calvin | God predestined her to, of course. |
| 42 | Lee | Hey, Duck, what did the Anderson Consulting one say? |
| 43 | Anderson Consulting | Deregulation of the chickens side of the road was threatening its dominant market position, |
| 44 | Lee | LOL |
| 45 | Gautama Buddha | "To become one with the universe!" |
| 46 | The Road | If that dang chicken crosses me one more time, I'm going to show it what a cross road can do! |
| 47 | Bill Gates | Because it was outdated. I'll have a new model out, Chicken 98, which will be even better!! |
| 48 | Mary (smashing two threads together) | In my day we didn't ask why. We accepted it crossed the road and liked it. |
| 49 | "Click" and/or "Clack" (no not the real ones) | To digress. |
| 50 | J. Steinbeck | To escape sorrow, misery and death - only to find more sorrow, misery and death. |
| 51 | K. Vonnegut | It's all a metaphore for my declining sex life. The chicken is me, the road is women, and the other |
| 52 | Freddy Neitzche | To find her "will to power" |
| 53 | Dorothy and Toto | To find the Wizard. |
| 54 | Scarlett O'Hara | To find tomorrow, which is another day. |
| 55 | Zaphod Beeblebrox | That's where the bar was. |
| 56 | Marvin | I'm sure it was just to annoy me. Here I am, brain the size of a small galaxy |
| 57 | Jophn Cleese | To practice its silly walk |
| 58 | Sir Isaac Newton | The mass of the other side was sufficient enough to create a gravitational pull |
| 59 | Macintosh | You wanted it to cross. We had it cross. You liked the way it crossed. Don't try to change it. |
| 60 | UNIX | Did it get hit by a car? Maybe if we all cross together, we can keep it from crashing. |
| 61 | PC | How did it cross? I thought we put enough bugs in the system to keep that from happening. |
| 62 | VAX | It tried to cross, but because of all the other millions of chickens who were also trying to cross, |
| 63 | Sliderule and Abacus | It crossed just fine without any techie help, thank you very much. |
| 64 | Pavlov | Conditioning. Or maybe to escape a hungry dog. |
| 65 | Elmer Fudd | It went acwoss the woad to find that scwewy wabbit |
| 66 | Annoying 7-year old kid | Why did the chicken cross the road? |
| 67 | Lee | "You're concerned about why the chicken crossed the road. Mm-hmm." by Carl Rogers |
| 68 | Steve Wright | slight digression |
| 69 | bb("able to distinguish tall sex at a single bound") | Steve, to help you find out that chickens are female!! |
| 70 | Dr. Seuss | Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road. Why |
| 71 | Oliver Stone | The question is not "Why did the chicken cross the road?" |
| 72 | Lieber and Stoller | Poultry in motion |
| 73 | Mr. Rodgers | To be my neighbor. I knew it could. |
| 74 | Officer Bob | I don't know why, but she was jaywalking so I wrote her a ticket. |
| 75 | Mark Twain | Reports about the chicken crossing the road have been greatly exaggerated |
| 76 | Spock | It is not logical for the chicken to cross the road. |
| 77 | Dr. McCoy | D*mmit Jim; I'm a doctor, not a chicken farmer! |
| 78 | Spock (the real one) | It is not logical to attempt to determine the concious intentions of... |
| 79 | anonymous | Uh, real Spock, shouldn't that be "conscious"? |
| 80 | Corporate spy | Why is a duck asking questions about a chicken? |
| 81 | Skeptic | The grass was greener on the other side. Why did she cross again? She changed her mind. |
| 82 | The Universe | Maximum entropy |
| 83 | Why not? It gets blamed for everything else these days | El Nino! |
| 84 | Woman in Black | If I told you, I would have to kill you. |
| 85 | Ayn Rand | It was practicing the virtue of selfishness in a benevolent universe. |
| 86 | Edward Bulwer-Lytton | It was a dark and stormy night. |
| 87 | The Fonz | Hey! What's it to ya? |
| 88 | Hillary Rodham Clinton | To join the other chickens in their right-wing conspiracy |
| 89 | Henny Youngman | That was no chicken, that was my wife! |
| 90 | Darth Vader | To go to the Dark Side |
| 91 | Mrs. Browning | Why did the chicken cross the road? Let me count the reasons... |
| 92 | Pullitzer | The public needs to know! And once you find out why, find out when and where it crossed. |
| 93 | Cardinal Richeleui (my apologies for the spelling) | There are TWO reasons for the chicken crossing the road. |
| 94 | Frequent Chicken Poster | To distract me from work and make me follow this thread. |
| 95 | Beaurocratic physiologist | Neural transmitters crossed the necessary synaptic gaps to induce muscular contraction for |
| 96 | R2D2 | 1001001010010010001001011101010010101010101000101010101110101011010101001011110101010100101010111101 |
| 97 | Robert De Niro | Who cares? I'M WALKING HERE! |
| 98 | Richard Nixon | That Chicken is not a crook! |
| 99 | Gerald Ford | I pardon the chicken for crossing the road. |
| 100 | Sonny Bono | Chicken? What Chicken? WHAM! |
| 101 | Barnyard Fox | Here Chicken, Chicken, Chicken... |
| 102 | Vernon Jordan | The chicken and I still have a close relationship built of mutual trust, respect and friendship |
| 103 | William Ginsburg | The chicken will testify when it is granted full immunity from prosecution |
| 104 | Ted Kennedy | It wouldn't accept a ride from me. |
| 105 | George Steinbrenner | Because I fired him! |
| 106 | Diana Spencer | To get away from the paparazzi. |
| 107 | Ronald McDonald | Because "Happy Meal" is not a good career choice for a chicken. |
| 108 | Zen Master | To practice random acts of kindness and senseless beauty |
| 109 | Dick and Jane | See Spot chase the chicken. Run, chicken, run! |
| 110 | Crossing Guard | Because the light turned green. |
| 111 | Question to the panel at the annual Chicken Crossing the Road symposium | Chickens have the brain the size of a pea. Do you honestly believe it put some thought into this? |
| 112 | Arnold Horschack | Ooooooh! Ooooh! Ooooh! Ooooh! |
| 113 | Richard Simmons | To burn those calories! Doesn't she look fabulous?! |
| 114 | Politically Correct | It's not a chicken, it's an Avian-American |
| 115 | Dilbert | To go from one, long, boring, pointless, management meeting to another |
| 116 | Won't admit to this one | Because it was promised it that, if it did, it would get a few buck-buck-bucks |
| 117 | Cowardly Lion | A chicken, eh? Put 'em up! Put 'em up! |
| 118 | Clint Eastwood (aka Dirty Harry Callahan) | To make my day |
| 119 | Carl Sagan | To take advantage of the bilyuns and bilyuns of pecking locations across the wide traverse. |
| 120 | UFO Enthusiast | Because it was compelled by the aliens to undergo experiments on its abdomen and genitalia |
| 121 | Prof. Irwin Corey | This is actually a two part question |
| 122 | Marketing Department | To get a better look at the Diet Coke guy |
| 123 | Father Priest, slightly dissoriented, but in the right spot now. | To sanctify the pavement |
| 124 | MacGuyver | "Duck" tape! |
| 125 | "Buzz Lightyear" | To poop on the SUV parked on the other side. |
| 126 | The Borg | To be assimilated. |
| 127 | W. Shakespeare | To sleep, perchance to dream |
| 128 | Your mother | Because I said so! |
| 129 | San Diego Chicken | To get to the ballpark |
| 130 | 18-wheel Truck Driver | It didn't. |
| 131 | Timothy Leary | To tune in, turn on and drop out |
| 132 | Karl Marx | It was an historical inevitability. |
| 133 | Edwin Hubble | Disoriented by blue shift, caused by her approach speed, she didn't recognize |
| 134 | circus geek | because it had no head!!! |
| 135 | Chicken Hawk | It doesn't matter! I caught it anyway! |
| 136 | Karl Marx | To join the masses, who control the means of production! |
| 137 | Kenny | Mmmph-hrff mnnerf hmm grrpf smmmff. Hmnf frrf shmnrf frrf snnhhrf!!! |
| 138 | Stan and Kyle | Oh My God!! That giant chicken killed Kenny!! You BASTARD!!!! |
| 139 | Jimmy Hoffa | It didn't want to cross a picket line. |
| 140 | Foghorn Leghorn | To get, I say, to get away from that darn chicken hawk! |
| 141 | Help! | To get away from Ozzy Osbourne |
| 142 | Fidel Castro | To smoke a fine Cuban cigar. |
| 143 | Gallagher | To buy a "Sledge-O-Matic" |
| 144 | Allen Smythee | That was the question the whole movie was centered on. And the producers cut that scene!! |
| 145 | This is the last time I double post. I promise! | To get down and get funky. |
| 146 | Man of Lamanche | To dream the impossible dream |
| 147 | New Age | Can we really know if the chicken crossed the road? What is "to know"? |
| 148 | Jerry Seinfeld | Did you ever wonder, why do we care about the chicken? What about the road? |
| 149 | Brain | To try and take over the world! |
| 150 | Ralph Cramden | Because I threatened to send her to the moon! Bang, Zoom! |
| 151 | Hamlet | To be. Or, not to be. |
| 152 | Porky Pig | Be-a-ba-be-a-ba-be-ba-because the chi-a the chi-a the chicken was...aw skip it |
| 153 | Andy Rooney | You ever wonder why the chicken crossed the road? Why just chickens? Why not ducks? |
| 154 | Neal Armstrong | That may have been one small step for a chicken, but it was one giant leap for Chicken-kind. |
| 155 | Earl Scheib | I'll paint *any* chicken, *any* color for only $89.95! |
| 156 | Torgo | The Ma-ster made her do it. |
| 157 | Dr. Forrester | To push the button, Frank. |
| 158 | Crow T. Robot | To Bite Me!! |
| 159 | Tom Servo | To find the hamdingers. |
| 160 | Pinkie | I think I know, but how would she get the tutu over her head? |
| 161 | Jungle Goddess | For a cheesburger and some *french* fried potatoes! |
| 162 | Jack Nicholson | Who the @#$% wants ta know!?! |
| 163 | Pink Boy | To get some slack |
| 164 | Sgt. Pepper | To join my Lonely Hearts Club Band |
| 165 | Latrell Sprewell | To beat up the coach |
| 166 | Dorothy | To see the wizard |
| 167 | Cliff Hanger | To be continued |
| 168 | Ricky | I donno. Why deed the cheeken cross the road? Start 'splainin', Lucy. |
| 169 | George | Because the rabbits were on the other side. You remember the rabbits, don't you Lenny? |
| 170 | Frank Sinatra | To be to be toooo |
| 171 | Frank Perdue | He escaped! |
| 172 | Tevye the Milkman | Tradition! |
| 173 | BWAHAHAHAHAHA | To win the Pullet Surprise. |
| 174 | Master Po | Because he was finally able to snatch the pellet from my hand, Grasshopper |
| 175 | Bill Gates | Because he's out of a job! I just released Chicken98! |
| 176 | Chicken Hawk | I'm a chicken hawk and it was trying to escape my clutches! |
| 177 | Bill Clinton | I did not have a sexual relationship with Ms. Chicken. |
| 178 | James Carville | Because of a vast right wing conspiracy. |
| 179 | Mike McCurry | I think that if there was a simple explanation for this, we would have offered it already |
| 180 | Barney Fife | Andy, I'm going to go give that chicken a ticket for jaywalking! |
| 181 | Polka Pete and his magic accordion | Why, to do the chicken dance of course! |
| 182 | Al Gore | Oh......I.....get......it.......it's.........a......joke.......ha......ha......ha......... |
| 183 | Fats Domino | 'Cause he's walkin' to New Orleans |
| 184 | plucked again | Because someone said, "Pluck you!" and he misunderstood. |
| 185 | Surrealist | Fish. |
| 186 | Julio Lopez | Es no "Chicken", es pollo. Si? |
| 187 | Captain James T. Kirk | To boldly go where no chicken has gone before! |
| 188 | Mr. Spock | To cross the road? I see no logic in that Captain. |
| 189 | Charles Manson | The chicken will do anything I say. |
| 190 | Norm Peterson | I'll have a beer, make that a pitcher of beer, with that chicken sandwich. Okay Sammy? |
| 191 | Cliff Claven | It goes back to the time of the Egyptians. |
| 192 | Frankie Yankovich | To do the chickenski polka! |
| 193 | King Henry VIII | Pass me the drumsticks! |
| 194 | Math Teacher | A chicken crosses the road at 2:00 pm at the speed of 1 mph. |
| 195 | Joe Friday | Just the chicken Ma'am! |
| 196 | C. Darwin | Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that... |
| 197 | Louis Farrakhan | The ROAD, you see, represents the BLACK MAN... |
| 198 | "Lord Jim" | To pronounce Richard Nixon as a God.... |
| 199 | "WOE" | To quit smoking, stay at home all day Sunday, and constantly counsel the "humans" I must resource. |
| 200 | "bb" | to think up pity 2-line commentaries and never use capital letters |
| 201 | "English Teacher" | To fall in love. |
| 202 | "Coopmeister" | See above. |
| 203 | Steve Urkel | A chicken crossed the road. Did I do thaaaat? |
| 204 | Michael Jackson | Because I told her to "Beat It" |
| 205 | A. Management Consultant | It was time for her to undergo a paradigm shift |
| 206 | Harry Belafonte | Because daylight come and he wan' go home |
| 207 | Billy Ray Cyrus | To get away from her Achy Breaky Heart |
| 208 | ZZ Top | 'Cause She's got Legs and she knows how to use them. |
| 209 | Bud Abbott and Lou Costello | Lou, suppose a chicken crosses the road |
| 210 | Hungry Bob | Because I told her she looked delicious |
| 211 | Bob MacKenzie | To get to the beer shop, eh? |
| 212 | Doug MacKenzie | Hey, don't take our beer, you hoser!! TAKE OFF!! |
| 213 | Louise Woodward | I don't know. I just showed up to babysit and off the bloody thing went! |
| 214 | Ted Turner | Because I wanted to colorize her. |
| 215 | Martin Luther King, Jr. | I have a dream that one day all chickens |
| 216 | Sgt. Schultz | I see nothing, I know nothing!! |
| 217 | Richard Dawson | The survey says... |
| 218 | Bob Barker | Have your chicken spayed or nuetered. |
| 219 | PETA Person | WHY was there a road in the chicken's habitat in the first place???? |
| 220 | Pat Sajak | I believe that chicken would like to buy a vowel |
| 221 | Jan Brady | Chicken, Chicken, Chicken! All everyone talks about is that Chicken! |
| 222 | No regrets | It seemed like an eggcellent idea at the time! |
| 223 | Phil Collins | It ain't no fun, bein' an illegal avian |
| 224 | Chicken in a Basket | The sign read "Roasters for sale" and not "Roosters for sale" |
| 225 | Ron Popeil | I don't know why, but her task would have been much simpler if she used the Ronco Cross-O-Matic! |
| 226 | Another fowl subpoena | Will Ken Starr stop at nothing? |
| 227 | W. C. Fields | Come to me, my little chickadee |
| 228 | Oliver Hardy | That chicken was supposed to be our supper. Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into. |
| 229 | Stan Laurel | Well, I couldn't help it Ollie. (Cry) |
| 230 | Ed Sullivan | Come on, let's hear it for him. That was rrrreeeealllly great! Rrrreeeaallly great! |
| 231 | The Robot | Warning! Chicken approaching! Danger, Will Robinson! |
| 232 | Admiral Yamamoto | I fear we have awakened a sleeping chicken |
| 233 | Dr. Ruth Westheimer | It had something to do with sex. Yes? |
| 234 | Rodney Dangerfield | Because he couldn't get no respect |
| 235 | John Wayne | I didn't mind it the first time, but don't do it again, pilgrim!! |
| 236 | John Wayne | I didn't mind it the first time, but don't do it again, pilgrim!! |
| 237 | Eddie Haskell | Golly, Mrs. Chicken, that's a really nice dress you're wearing... |
| 238 | Bob Dylan | How many roads can a chicken cross, before it's allowed to be free of these comments? |
| 239 | Ayatollah Khomeini | To stomp out American imperialism and establish a just, Islamic state |
| 240 | Mao Zedong | It is a Great Leap Forward |
| 241 | Jerry Lewis | Because....oh, well, nevermind. I'm only funny in France. |
| 242 | Woody Allen | To look into the soul of the chicken on the other side, and marry its pullet. |
| 243 | Glider Pilot | Trying to use the "thermal" from the heated pavement to get airborn. |
| 244 | Pilgrim | (aside to J. Wayne)...do *what* again ? |
| 245 | Linus Torvalds | to grep road side other |
| 246 | Dilbert | HR director Ratbert designated it Personal Logic Interpreter to my boss |
| 247 | Buckaroo Bonsai | It was just checking..."wherever you go..." |
| 248 | Kenny Rogers | I offered it job you know! |
| 249 | Church's | I offered it job too, you know! |
| 250 | Superchicken | I did it to change in the phone booth over there, |
| 251 | Malcolm X | To praise Allah! |
| 252 | The Weasel | Ah ha! I see that chicken. I'm gonna follow her and suck her brains out. |
| 253 | The Chicken | Why should all of you care why I crossed the road? |
| 254 | Billybob and Cleatis | We sent that there chicken after some beer, dagnabit, and she ain't come back in a coon's age! |
| 255 | Wrong joke!?! | Because it's p*cker's on it's head? |
| 256 | Ace Ventura | Welllllll reeeeeeeeeaallllllyyy? All righty then!!! |
| 257 | Roadrunner | Beep, beep!!! |
| 258 | Cheech Y Chong | Ppfffssttttt! Ppffsssttt! (inhale) Wow man, that's pretty heavy! |
| 259 | Neil Armstrong | Thats one small step for a chicken, one giant leap for chickenkind |
| 260 | Arthur, King of the Brittons | Was this chicken African, or European? |
| 261 | The Bridge Keeper | I,...uhh..I don't know... |
| 262 | Machiavelli | The point is... |
| 263 | JFK | Ask not, why the chicken crossed the road... |
| 264 | Gen. George S. Patton | No dumb son-of-a-cluck ever won a war by crossing the road for his country. |
| 265 | Chico Marx | I understand why a chicken. I no understand why a duck. |
| 266 | The Road Warrior | To get gas. |
| 267 | little Billy Shakespeare | A road is a road. . . . .hmmm . . . interesting concept, wonder if I could use it . . . |
| 268 | John Lennon | Why did she do it...cross the road? |
| 269 | John Cleese | because someone farted in its general direction |
| 270 | Ahnold Svartznegger | Don't you vorry bout dat chicken! She'll be bach! Hasta la vista, baby! |
| 271 | Marcel Marceau | :-0 :-) :-( :-D :-| :~> |
| 272 | George Bush | READ MY LIPS! No chicken taxes! Unless they cross the road of course! |
| 273 | Angry Commuter | I don't know why, or what it was doing on the road, |
| 274 | A man from Nantucket | You ask why the chick crossed the road? |
| 275 | Phil Zimmerman | It was looking for its keys |
| 276 | Garth Brooks | I got chickens in low places! |
| 277 | Bawk! Bawk! | Cluck bawwwk cluck cluck baaawwwwkkk! |
| 278 | Cow | He's my bwother let him go! |
| 279 | The G-men | That was an unauthorized cross, and now we must take that cluck out! |
| 280 | The Beatles | Shae has the eggs, man! Goo goo gajoob! |
| 281 | Ronald McDonald | McNuggets! |
| 282 | Holly Farms | $1.49 lb. |
| 283 | Mr. Costanza | For SERENITY NOW!! |
| 284 | Lovely Rita, meter maid | Because that's where she parked her chicken coupe. |
| 285 | Douglas Adams | 42 |
| 286 | John Wayne | Cross the Road!! Are you looking for trouble, mister? (reply to Pilgrim) |
| 287 | Country & Western Singer | 'Cause she was lookin' for eggs in all the wrong places... |
| 288 | George Burns and Gracie Allen | What do you think about this, Gracie? |
| 289 | Shirley MacLaine | I know because I was a chicken in a previous life |
| 290 | Captain Queeg | Because it was after my strawberries. Yeah, that's it. The strawberries. |
| 291 | Captain Cruch | Because it was after my cereal |
| 292 | Scotty | It was trying to get away because my engines were gonna blow! I can't change the laws of physics! |
| 293 | Petula Clark | Because it wanted to go downtown, where all the lights are bright... |
| 294 | George Bailey | Because it wanted to shake off the dust of this crummy little town and see the world |
| 295 | Knight who says "Nee" | To get me a shrubbery |
| 296 | Cousin It | Tabeebadabeeebeee beeedabeeebebe debbeeedeebee |
| 297 | Walter Cronkite | Because that's the way it is |
| 298 | Rolling Stones | Because it can't get no satisfaction |
| 299 | R. J. Reynolds | Why not? It would walk a mile for a Camel. |
| 300 | IRS auditor | Because it looked at it's files, and that's what it did last year |
| 301 | Duck | To post the 301st follow up to the chicken thread! |
| 302 | Duck | To post the 301st follow up to the chicken thread!! |
| 303 | Bud Dry | Why ask why? |
| 304 | Pilgrim | (reply to J Wayne) I think you may have mistaken me for someone/thing else...but that's not importan |
| 305 | The Fonz | 'cuz it was the cool thing to do. |
| 306 | USDA Inspector | To get out of Texas. Too much dioxin in the chicken feed. |
| 307 | The Zucker Brothers | (reply to Pilgrim) "..to get some pictures, boys!" |
| 308 | Jack Kerouack | To see the road, feel the road, understand what it is to be the road. That long |
| 309 | R.E.M. | To Stand in the Middle of the Street. |
| 310 | Raoul Ritz (the doorman from Tom Robbins' "Skinny Legs and All") | My Heart is a Third World country |
| 311 | Rev. Jim Ignatowski | Uhh-uuh-hu-uuuh... Uhh-uhuhh-uh... aaah... ahuhaa... what was the question? |
| 312 | Striker | I guess the foot's on the other hand now, isn't it Cramer?! |
| 313 | Striker | Uh, make that '...the other *side* now...' |
| 314 | OB-One Kenobi | Because it felt a disturbance in the Force. |
| 315 | C3-PO | I'm sorry Master Luke, but that chicken does not speak a dialect I understand. |
| 316 | Charles DeGaulle | For France!!!! |
| 317 | Captain Kirk | Damn the regulations! It knew it had to cross to avoid an interstellar war! |
| 318 | Bob Dole | Who cares? Bob Dole doesn't need this kind of stress. |
| 319 | George Bush | I warned you all about chicken fecal matter! |
| 320 | Ford Prefect | because it forgot its towel |
| 321 | Ross Perot | Now, the way I see it is that the chicken had one heck of a motivation. Why else would he cross? |
| 322 | Captain Sheridan | To get the hell out of my galaxy! |
| 323 | Sgt. Schultz | I did not see a chicken, especially that one crossing the road! I seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee nothing! |
| 324 | Captain Janeway | Paris, set course and speed to match that chicken. It may have found a faster way home! |
| 325 | Copernicus | Because it is the chicken that orbits the road. |
| 326 | Mongo | Mongo no know. Mongo only pawn in game of life. |
| 327 | Wile E. Coyote | Shucks! You mean the Acme anvil didn't get her? She should have tripped the wire like so, and ... |
| 328 | Zathras | Zathras carry many things. Zathras work hard. Zathras need not worry about chicken, it brings |
| 329 | Jim Morrison | (This post contains the lost line from "Riders on the Storm") |
| 330 | Poultry | You'd have gotten outta town quick too if *you* were a bird in Hong Kong ! |
| 331 | Richard P. Feynman | I'll prepare a freshman lecture on it. |
| 332 | Alexander the Chicken | veni vedi vici |
| 333 | Alexander the Chicken | Oops! Wrong quote! Should have been "So I could mourn that there were no more roads to cross". |
| 334 | Julius Chicken | I said "Veni Vidi Vice". What's with Alexander? |
| 335 | Jim Morrison | 'Cause on this holiday, on turkey you will prey... |
| 336 | Marvin the Martian | Because she stole my Illudium Phew36 explosive space modulator!!! |
| 337 | Jimmy Carter | In my heart I lusted after that chicken. |
| 338 | Jim Morrison | To break on through to the other side. |
| 339 | Bonkers | To show the opossum that it *could* be done! |
| 340 | The Fireman | To hold up her pants!! |
| 341 | bb("we're repeating ourselves") | Bonkers, I did that at the beginning. We're repeating ourselves. |
| 342 | Cookie Monster | To get cookie! |
| 343 | Lou Reed | To take a walk on the wild side |
| 344 | Professor Henry Higgins | To see if I could turn her into a lady |
| 345 | Matilda | To go waltzing |
| 346 | Monty Hall | She's only dressed in a chicken suit to get my attention so I'll offer this fabulous deal... |
| 347 | Bonkers | To try to be original |
| 348 | Survived | Becasue it couldn't get a ticket on the Titanic |
| 349 | The Bird | To do the bird! |
| 350 | Jim Morrison | To break on through to the other side |
| 351 | Groucho Marx | Duck Soup ! |
| 352 | Robert Plant | She thought it was the stairway to heaven |
| 353 | Aerosmith | 'cuz I whipped out my big 10 inch |
| 354 | Lynrd Skynrd | Because it's a Free Bird |
| 355 | Wrangler | To distract us from the egg question |
| 356 | Nostradamus | Because I predicted it would |
| 357 | Wrangler (doing my best to keep it going) | Because it wanted Auto-erotic sex |
| 358 | Leper | To get away from me!!! |
| 359 | Bicycle Bill | Because the rooster goost'er... |
| 360 | bb("reader") | Bonkers, you mean you didn't READ them again and again, and kill yourself laffing (as I do)? |
| 361 | Vlad the Impaler (With Apologies to Vlad the Impala) | Because he spotted me with my rotisserie (sp?) spit |
| 362 | Chico Marx | I understand why a chicken. I no understand why a duck. |
| 363 | Chico Marx | I understand why a chicken. I no understand why a duck. |
| 364 | R.M.S. Titanic | To miss the iceberg |
| 365 | Kate Winslet | To get a better look at my breasts |
| 366 | Leonardo DiCaprio | To pummel the Academy Award nominating committee for not including me for best actor |
| 367 | Chicken's mother | To come home. Supper is on the table and it's getting cold |
| 368 | Webelow | Because that @#*//^$ boy scout wouldn't take "NO" for an answer!!!!!!!! |
| 369 | Werner Karl Heisenberg | It is uncertain |
| 370 | bb("LOL") | Damn, Webelow, I'd completely forgotten about that stuff! But isn't it "Cub Scout"? |
| 371 | Harry | Uh, to get to the other side!? |
| 372 | Herbert Hoover | It all started when I promised a chicken in every pot... |
| 373 | bb("andy kaufman") | Harry, did you take a look at the post that started this all? Or are you being a "modern" comic? |
| 374 | Abraham Maslow | To attain self-actualization |
| 375 | U.S.Army | To be all that she could be |
| 376 | U.S.Navy | Because it wasn't a job, it was an adventure |
| 377 | U.S.M.C. | To be one of the few, the proud, .... |
| 378 | Scarlett | Because she was going home, yes, home to Tara where tomorrow is another day! |
| 379 | Willie Dixon | To see the Little Red Rooster - who was too lazy to crow for days |
| 380 | Jim Morrison@Soul Kitchen | Because the clock says it's time to gooooooo...... nooooooowwwwwww |
| 381 | Patsy Cline | 'Cuz she was "Walkin' after midnight ", and "Crazy"... |
| 382 | Deer | I gave her these instructions! |
| 383 | The Homophobic Rooster | Damn it, I am not a chicken!!!!!! |
| 384 | Accident Report | It was a dark and stormy night, and the white lines hadn't been repainted... |
| 385 | Letter getter | To get to her mailbox, of course! |
| 386 | Schoolyard Bully | Cuz she were yeller! Chicken, Chicken!! |
| 387 | T_ _ET T_ T_E _T_ER S__E | Uh, I'd like to buy a vowel? An "A"? |
| 388 | Pat Sajak | Sorry, no "A"'s |
| 389 | Those damned snowplows | To FIX her mailbox! |
| 390 | Malcontent | The bugs are always juicier on the other side |
| 391 | Eggxaminer | It was a Friedian slip |
| 392 | Eggxaminer | She had to scramble... |
| 393 | (3)Minuteman | She couldn't see the whites of their eggs... |
| 394 | Eggs-Lax | Those prunes finally hit! |
| 395 | Eggxaminer | She got nervous about the poachers... |
| 396 | Eggxaminer | She was forced to give up nesting around all those nearsighted golfers - it was no yolking matter... |
| 397 | Eggxaminer | There were about a dozen reasons... |
| 398 | The Daily Eggxaminer | Eggstra! Eggstra! Read All About It! |
| 399 | E.M. Rooster | To get A Room With A View |
| 400 | E.M. Rooster | To get A Passage To India |
| 401 | Fats Domino | Because she's "Walkin to New Orleans" |
| 402 | The Prisoner | Because, I am not a number !!...... I am a .....CHICKEN !?!?!?! |
| 403 | Wallace StEGGner | To get a better Angle of Repose |
| 404 | Eggxaminer | The deviled eggs made her do it... |
| 405 | Eggxaminer (stop me, please) | She just followed the Eggxit sign... |
| 406 | Eggxaminer | I don't know, but I'll eggs her for you. |
| 407 | Rolling Sojourner | Oh, Lord, won'tcha stop me from posting to this thread? (Forget the Benz) |
| 408 | To Prisoner | It's just a simple qustion... |
| 409 | For Eggxaminer | !!!WHACK!!!...here, try some decaf, honey |
| 410 | Doc's evil clone! | I am not a chicken!! I have FREE WILL!!!!! |
| 411 | Erwin Schrodinger | She was looking for my cat. |
| 412 | Martin Luther | She crossed by the free Grace of God |
| 413 | B.F. Skinner | Because of operant conditioning, to get to Walden Two. |
| 414 | the Prisoner | It's either me or McGoohan.... take your pick |
| 415 | John Steinbeak (I'm baaaack - unfortunately for y'all, I don't do decaf) | to get to The Pastures of Heaven |
| 416 | People for the Ethical Treatment of Chickens | She saw our resident opportunistic libertarian coming & suspected that if he wanted to 'interact'... |
| 417 | Eggxaminer | Oh, sheesh, I missed my chance. That should have been "Eggcident Report." |
| 418 | Harry | The chicken was influenced be the movie "The Program." |
| 419 | Willy Nelson | The chicken was playing on the road again. |
| 420 | Tweety | The chicken taught he taw a putty cat. |
| 421 | Ronald Reagan | I don't recall. |
| 422 | Bo & Luke Duke | Sherif Rosco P. Coaltrain was chasing the chicken, Yeee Haaa! |
| 423 | Oliver Stone | The C.I.A made the chicken cross the road. |
| 424 | Sharen Stone | What, are you going to arrest me for crossing the road? |
| 425 | David Copperfield | Ta Daa! What chicken! |
| 426 | Bill Gates | To buy my updated software (we all know chickens like BUGS!). |
| 427 | Rosa Parks | The chicken was tired of having to sit on this side of the road! |
| 428 | The Chauvinist Pig | Because there was a sidewalk sale on the other side and...... |
| 429 | The silly knight | Because I was carrying her. |
| 430 | Baudelayer | She was headed for the Left Bank for a poetry reading |
| 431 | A Reader | She had Great Expectations! |
| 432 | EGGSACTLY! | You mean "Great Eggspectations," don't you? |
| 433 | Nicole Brown Simpson | To escape her eggs-husband. |
| 434 | Slanter | It saw the bumper sticker on the front of my '66 Dodge Dart! |
| 435 | Darth Vader | I turned it to the Dark Side! |
| 436 | Darles Chickens | Why shouldn't the chicken have been a fan of my books? |
| 437 | Ralph Waldo Egg-erson | Because you're not a Transcendentalist! |
| 438 | Hen-man Melville | Go suck an egg, Waldo! |
| 439 | Matt Cramer (aka Slanter) | I just saw that one, Striker, and being the only Cramer here, I don't get it! |
| 440 | bawk-bawk | To post to the chicken thread, of course! |
| 441 | Ulysses S. Grant | Because the chicken is marching home again, hoorah! Hoorah! |
| 442 | George M. Cohan | Because he's going over. He's going over. And he won't come back 'till it's over over there. |
| 443 | General Sherman | Because it couldn't stand to hear the rooster anymore ("Waaark is hell") |
| 444 | Leon Redbone, Blind Blake, and Blind Lemon Jefferson | Because it wanted to find out what "diddie wa diddie" means... |
| 445 | Mr. Moose | Because he had some serious reservations about The Captain and Mr. Greenjeans. |
| 446 | Chicken | How far must I go to be recognized for my eggcomplishment? |
| 447 | Chicken | How far must I go to be receggnized for my eggcomplishment?(just a minor correggtion) |
| 448 | Susan Powter | Because it wanted to end the madness |
| 449 | Mr. Magoo | That wasn't a chicken. It was a wild bandicoot! |
| 450 | Steve McGarrett | Okay, we got you for road crossing one! Dano, book, book, book, 'em. |
| 451 | John Denver | Because it's leaving, on a jet plane.... |
| 452 | bb("nitpicker, and picky, picky, PICKY") | Because it wanted to get to a thread where it would be called either "she" or "it". |
| 453 | Running out of ideas | Beak-ause it was tired of being lowest on the pecking order |