ID |
POSTER NAME |
SUBJECT |
0 | Duck | Why did the chicken cross the road? |
1 | E. Hemingway | To die. In the rain. |
2 | Capt. Jean Luc Picard, USS Enterprise | To go where no chicken has gone before |
3 | Sid Viscious | Because it was stapled to the punk rocker |
4 | another anti-meditec | The chicken crosses everyone . . . just like meditec. |
5 | Alan Greenspan | Irrational exuberance! |
6 | Albert Einstein | Perhaps the road crossed the chicken; it's all relative |
7 | "Library Guy" | To buy thingies anonymously. |
8 | Sir Edmond Duck | "Because it was there!" |
9 | Kenneth Starr | I'll have my staff prepare a list of potential witnesses to be subpoenaed for the grand jury. |
10 | "meditec" | Would you repeat the question? |
11 | Alex Trebec | Correct. |
12 | Bill Clinton | I don't remember a chicken crossing the road. |
13 | Al Gore | I saw the chicken go across, but I didn't realize it was a road. |
14 | I. Newton | Why did the egg cross the road? It had the inclination. |
15 | Hillary Clinton | That chicken needs my healthcare program |
16 | Homer J. Simpson | That chicken got away from me -- DOH! |
17 | Nike | Just to Do It! |
18 | Thomas Aquinas | For all the wrong reasons |
19 | S. Freud | Sex |
20 | I. Stravinsky | It was harder to hear the violas that way. |
21 | Doc Brown | Because it had no Free Will |
22 | Bill Clinton | I never crossed the road with that chicken |
23 | bb("small-font man") | To show the Possum it COULD be done!! |
24 | Jokerman | It was the chicken's cross to bear! |
25 | bb("mad programmer") | That was no chicken, that was a mad cow that THOUGHT it was a chicken. |
26 | Darren | Because it had free will! |
27 | Jokerman | Keeripes, bb! You better keep quiet about mad cows... |
28 | Guinevere | The aforementioned poultry, hereafter "chicken," did purportedly cross the said blacktop and/or |
29 | Perry Mason | Objection!! Your Honor, counsel is trying to lead the chicken! |
30 | O.J. Simpson | You can't prove he crossed the road. |
31 | Jerry Springer | Tune in tomorrow to find out the truth. |
32 | Andy Grove | Only the paranoid survive |
33 | Lord Jim | Good one Guin. But game, set, and match to... |
34 | Lugnut | You contributors to this thread... |
35 | I won't admit to this one | She had run a-fowl of the law |
36 | Chicken | Because I can't fly two flippin' feet with these stupid wings! |
37 | Logical Positivist (alias Tom Swift) | To Cross The Road |
38 | Jean-Paul Sartre | To Be Free |
39 | My First Wife | To Find Herself |
40 | Ralph Waldo Emerson | The chicken did not cross the road, it transcended it. |
41 | Calvin | God predestined her to, of course. |
42 | Lee | Hey, Duck, what did the Anderson Consulting one say? |
43 | Anderson Consulting | Deregulation of the chickens side of the road was threatening its dominant market position, |
44 | Lee | LOL |
45 | Gautama Buddha | "To become one with the universe!" |
46 | The Road | If that dang chicken crosses me one more time, I'm going to show it what a cross road can do! |
47 | Bill Gates | Because it was outdated. I'll have a new model out, Chicken 98, which will be even better!! |
48 | Mary (smashing two threads together) | In my day we didn't ask why. We accepted it crossed the road and liked it. |
49 | "Click" and/or "Clack" (no not the real ones) | To digress. |
50 | J. Steinbeck | To escape sorrow, misery and death - only to find more sorrow, misery and death. |
51 | K. Vonnegut | It's all a metaphore for my declining sex life. The chicken is me, the road is women, and the other |
52 | Freddy Neitzche | To find her "will to power" |
53 | Dorothy and Toto | To find the Wizard. |
54 | Scarlett O'Hara | To find tomorrow, which is another day. |
55 | Zaphod Beeblebrox | That's where the bar was. |
56 | Marvin | I'm sure it was just to annoy me. Here I am, brain the size of a small galaxy |
57 | Jophn Cleese | To practice its silly walk |
58 | Sir Isaac Newton | The mass of the other side was sufficient enough to create a gravitational pull |
59 | Macintosh | You wanted it to cross. We had it cross. You liked the way it crossed. Don't try to change it. |
60 | UNIX | Did it get hit by a car? Maybe if we all cross together, we can keep it from crashing. |
61 | PC | How did it cross? I thought we put enough bugs in the system to keep that from happening. |
62 | VAX | It tried to cross, but because of all the other millions of chickens who were also trying to cross, |
63 | Sliderule and Abacus | It crossed just fine without any techie help, thank you very much. |
64 | Pavlov | Conditioning. Or maybe to escape a hungry dog. |
65 | Elmer Fudd | It went acwoss the woad to find that scwewy wabbit |
66 | Annoying 7-year old kid | Why did the chicken cross the road? |
67 | Lee | "You're concerned about why the chicken crossed the road. Mm-hmm." by Carl Rogers |
68 | Steve Wright | slight digression |
69 | bb("able to distinguish tall sex at a single bound") | Steve, to help you find out that chickens are female!! |
70 | Dr. Seuss | Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road. Why |
71 | Oliver Stone | The question is not "Why did the chicken cross the road?" |
72 | Lieber and Stoller | Poultry in motion |
73 | Mr. Rodgers | To be my neighbor. I knew it could. |
74 | Officer Bob | I don't know why, but she was jaywalking so I wrote her a ticket. |
75 | Mark Twain | Reports about the chicken crossing the road have been greatly exaggerated |
76 | Spock | It is not logical for the chicken to cross the road. |
77 | Dr. McCoy | D*mmit Jim; I'm a doctor, not a chicken farmer! |
78 | Spock (the real one) | It is not logical to attempt to determine the concious intentions of... |
79 | anonymous | Uh, real Spock, shouldn't that be "conscious"? |
80 | Corporate spy | Why is a duck asking questions about a chicken? |
81 | Skeptic | The grass was greener on the other side. Why did she cross again? She changed her mind. |
82 | The Universe | Maximum entropy |
83 | Why not? It gets blamed for everything else these days | El Nino! |
84 | Woman in Black | If I told you, I would have to kill you. |
85 | Ayn Rand | It was practicing the virtue of selfishness in a benevolent universe. |
86 | Edward Bulwer-Lytton | It was a dark and stormy night. |
87 | The Fonz | Hey! What's it to ya? |
88 | Hillary Rodham Clinton | To join the other chickens in their right-wing conspiracy |
89 | Henny Youngman | That was no chicken, that was my wife! |
90 | Darth Vader | To go to the Dark Side |
91 | Mrs. Browning | Why did the chicken cross the road? Let me count the reasons... |
92 | Pullitzer | The public needs to know! And once you find out why, find out when and where it crossed. |
93 | Cardinal Richeleui (my apologies for the spelling) | There are TWO reasons for the chicken crossing the road. |
94 | Frequent Chicken Poster | To distract me from work and make me follow this thread. |
95 | Beaurocratic physiologist | Neural transmitters crossed the necessary synaptic gaps to induce muscular contraction for |
96 | R2D2 | 1001001010010010001001011101010010101010101000101010101110101011010101001011110101010100101010111101 |
97 | Robert De Niro | Who cares? I'M WALKING HERE! |
98 | Richard Nixon | That Chicken is not a crook! |
99 | Gerald Ford | I pardon the chicken for crossing the road. |
100 | Sonny Bono | Chicken? What Chicken? WHAM! |
101 | Barnyard Fox | Here Chicken, Chicken, Chicken... |
102 | Vernon Jordan | The chicken and I still have a close relationship built of mutual trust, respect and friendship |
103 | William Ginsburg | The chicken will testify when it is granted full immunity from prosecution |
104 | Ted Kennedy | It wouldn't accept a ride from me. |
105 | George Steinbrenner | Because I fired him! |
106 | Diana Spencer | To get away from the paparazzi. |
107 | Ronald McDonald | Because "Happy Meal" is not a good career choice for a chicken. |
108 | Zen Master | To practice random acts of kindness and senseless beauty |
109 | Dick and Jane | See Spot chase the chicken. Run, chicken, run! |
110 | Crossing Guard | Because the light turned green. |
111 | Question to the panel at the annual Chicken Crossing the Road symposium | Chickens have the brain the size of a pea. Do you honestly believe it put some thought into this? |
112 | Arnold Horschack | Ooooooh! Ooooh! Ooooh! Ooooh! |
113 | Richard Simmons | To burn those calories! Doesn't she look fabulous?! |
114 | Politically Correct | It's not a chicken, it's an Avian-American |
115 | Dilbert | To go from one, long, boring, pointless, management meeting to another |
116 | Won't admit to this one | Because it was promised it that, if it did, it would get a few buck-buck-bucks |
117 | Cowardly Lion | A chicken, eh? Put 'em up! Put 'em up! |
118 | Clint Eastwood (aka Dirty Harry Callahan) | To make my day |
119 | Carl Sagan | To take advantage of the bilyuns and bilyuns of pecking locations across the wide traverse. |
120 | UFO Enthusiast | Because it was compelled by the aliens to undergo experiments on its abdomen and genitalia |
121 | Prof. Irwin Corey | This is actually a two part question |
122 | Marketing Department | To get a better look at the Diet Coke guy |
123 | Father Priest, slightly dissoriented, but in the right spot now. | To sanctify the pavement |
124 | MacGuyver | "Duck" tape! |
125 | "Buzz Lightyear" | To poop on the SUV parked on the other side. |
126 | The Borg | To be assimilated. |
127 | W. Shakespeare | To sleep, perchance to dream |
128 | Your mother | Because I said so! |
129 | San Diego Chicken | To get to the ballpark |
130 | 18-wheel Truck Driver | It didn't. |
131 | Timothy Leary | To tune in, turn on and drop out |
132 | Karl Marx | It was an historical inevitability. |
133 | Edwin Hubble | Disoriented by blue shift, caused by her approach speed, she didn't recognize |
134 | circus geek | because it had no head!!! |
135 | Chicken Hawk | It doesn't matter! I caught it anyway! |
136 | Karl Marx | To join the masses, who control the means of production! |
137 | Kenny | Mmmph-hrff mnnerf hmm grrpf smmmff. Hmnf frrf shmnrf frrf snnhhrf!!! |
138 | Stan and Kyle | Oh My God!! That giant chicken killed Kenny!! You BASTARD!!!! |
139 | Jimmy Hoffa | It didn't want to cross a picket line. |
140 | Foghorn Leghorn | To get, I say, to get away from that darn chicken hawk! |
141 | Help! | To get away from Ozzy Osbourne |
142 | Fidel Castro | To smoke a fine Cuban cigar. |
143 | Gallagher | To buy a "Sledge-O-Matic" |
144 | Allen Smythee | That was the question the whole movie was centered on. And the producers cut that scene!! |
145 | This is the last time I double post. I promise! | To get down and get funky. |
146 | Man of Lamanche | To dream the impossible dream |
147 | New Age | Can we really know if the chicken crossed the road? What is "to know"? |
148 | Jerry Seinfeld | Did you ever wonder, why do we care about the chicken? What about the road? |
149 | Brain | To try and take over the world! |
150 | Ralph Cramden | Because I threatened to send her to the moon! Bang, Zoom! |
151 | Hamlet | To be. Or, not to be. |
152 | Porky Pig | Be-a-ba-be-a-ba-be-ba-because the chi-a the chi-a the chicken was...aw skip it |
153 | Andy Rooney | You ever wonder why the chicken crossed the road? Why just chickens? Why not ducks? |
154 | Neal Armstrong | That may have been one small step for a chicken, but it was one giant leap for Chicken-kind. |
155 | Earl Scheib | I'll paint *any* chicken, *any* color for only $89.95! |
156 | Torgo | The Ma-ster made her do it. |
157 | Dr. Forrester | To push the button, Frank. |
158 | Crow T. Robot | To Bite Me!! |
159 | Tom Servo | To find the hamdingers. |
160 | Pinkie | I think I know, but how would she get the tutu over her head? |
161 | Jungle Goddess | For a cheesburger and some *french* fried potatoes! |
162 | Jack Nicholson | Who the @#$% wants ta know!?! |
163 | Pink Boy | To get some slack |
164 | Sgt. Pepper | To join my Lonely Hearts Club Band |
165 | Latrell Sprewell | To beat up the coach |
166 | Dorothy | To see the wizard |
167 | Cliff Hanger | To be continued |
168 | Ricky | I donno. Why deed the cheeken cross the road? Start 'splainin', Lucy. |
169 | George | Because the rabbits were on the other side. You remember the rabbits, don't you Lenny? |
170 | Frank Sinatra | To be to be toooo |
171 | Frank Perdue | He escaped! |
172 | Tevye the Milkman | Tradition! |
173 | BWAHAHAHAHAHA | To win the Pullet Surprise. |
174 | Master Po | Because he was finally able to snatch the pellet from my hand, Grasshopper |
175 | Bill Gates | Because he's out of a job! I just released Chicken98! |
176 | Chicken Hawk | I'm a chicken hawk and it was trying to escape my clutches! |
177 | Bill Clinton | I did not have a sexual relationship with Ms. Chicken. |
178 | James Carville | Because of a vast right wing conspiracy. |
179 | Mike McCurry | I think that if there was a simple explanation for this, we would have offered it already |
180 | Barney Fife | Andy, I'm going to go give that chicken a ticket for jaywalking! |
181 | Polka Pete and his magic accordion | Why, to do the chicken dance of course! |
182 | Al Gore | Oh......I.....get......it.......it's.........a......joke.......ha......ha......ha......... |
183 | Fats Domino | 'Cause he's walkin' to New Orleans |
184 | plucked again | Because someone said, "Pluck you!" and he misunderstood. |
185 | Surrealist | Fish. |
186 | Julio Lopez | Es no "Chicken", es pollo. Si? |
187 | Captain James T. Kirk | To boldly go where no chicken has gone before! |
188 | Mr. Spock | To cross the road? I see no logic in that Captain. |
189 | Charles Manson | The chicken will do anything I say. |
190 | Norm Peterson | I'll have a beer, make that a pitcher of beer, with that chicken sandwich. Okay Sammy? |
191 | Cliff Claven | It goes back to the time of the Egyptians. |
192 | Frankie Yankovich | To do the chickenski polka! |
193 | King Henry VIII | Pass me the drumsticks! |
194 | Math Teacher | A chicken crosses the road at 2:00 pm at the speed of 1 mph. |
195 | Joe Friday | Just the chicken Ma'am! |
196 | C. Darwin | Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that... |
197 | Louis Farrakhan | The ROAD, you see, represents the BLACK MAN... |
198 | "Lord Jim" | To pronounce Richard Nixon as a God.... |
199 | "WOE" | To quit smoking, stay at home all day Sunday, and constantly counsel the "humans" I must resource. |
200 | "bb" | to think up pity 2-line commentaries and never use capital letters |
201 | "English Teacher" | To fall in love. |
202 | "Coopmeister" | See above. |
203 | Steve Urkel | A chicken crossed the road. Did I do thaaaat? |
204 | Michael Jackson | Because I told her to "Beat It" |
205 | A. Management Consultant | It was time for her to undergo a paradigm shift |
206 | Harry Belafonte | Because daylight come and he wan' go home |
207 | Billy Ray Cyrus | To get away from her Achy Breaky Heart |
208 | ZZ Top | 'Cause She's got Legs and she knows how to use them. |
209 | Bud Abbott and Lou Costello | Lou, suppose a chicken crosses the road |
210 | Hungry Bob | Because I told her she looked delicious |
211 | Bob MacKenzie | To get to the beer shop, eh? |
212 | Doug MacKenzie | Hey, don't take our beer, you hoser!! TAKE OFF!! |
213 | Louise Woodward | I don't know. I just showed up to babysit and off the bloody thing went! |
214 | Ted Turner | Because I wanted to colorize her. |
215 | Martin Luther King, Jr. | I have a dream that one day all chickens |
216 | Sgt. Schultz | I see nothing, I know nothing!! |
217 | Richard Dawson | The survey says... |
218 | Bob Barker | Have your chicken spayed or nuetered. |
219 | PETA Person | WHY was there a road in the chicken's habitat in the first place???? |
220 | Pat Sajak | I believe that chicken would like to buy a vowel |
221 | Jan Brady | Chicken, Chicken, Chicken! All everyone talks about is that Chicken! |
222 | No regrets | It seemed like an eggcellent idea at the time! |
223 | Phil Collins | It ain't no fun, bein' an illegal avian |
224 | Chicken in a Basket | The sign read "Roasters for sale" and not "Roosters for sale" |
225 | Ron Popeil | I don't know why, but her task would have been much simpler if she used the Ronco Cross-O-Matic! |
226 | Another fowl subpoena | Will Ken Starr stop at nothing? |
227 | W. C. Fields | Come to me, my little chickadee |
228 | Oliver Hardy | That chicken was supposed to be our supper. Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into. |
229 | Stan Laurel | Well, I couldn't help it Ollie. (Cry) |
230 | Ed Sullivan | Come on, let's hear it for him. That was rrrreeeealllly great! Rrrreeeaallly great! |
231 | The Robot | Warning! Chicken approaching! Danger, Will Robinson! |
232 | Admiral Yamamoto | I fear we have awakened a sleeping chicken |
233 | Dr. Ruth Westheimer | It had something to do with sex. Yes? |
234 | Rodney Dangerfield | Because he couldn't get no respect |
235 | John Wayne | I didn't mind it the first time, but don't do it again, pilgrim!! |
236 | John Wayne | I didn't mind it the first time, but don't do it again, pilgrim!! |
237 | Eddie Haskell | Golly, Mrs. Chicken, that's a really nice dress you're wearing... |
238 | Bob Dylan | How many roads can a chicken cross, before it's allowed to be free of these comments? |
239 | Ayatollah Khomeini | To stomp out American imperialism and establish a just, Islamic state |
240 | Mao Zedong | It is a Great Leap Forward |
241 | Jerry Lewis | Because....oh, well, nevermind. I'm only funny in France. |
242 | Woody Allen | To look into the soul of the chicken on the other side, and marry its pullet. |
243 | Glider Pilot | Trying to use the "thermal" from the heated pavement to get airborn. |
244 | Pilgrim | (aside to J. Wayne)...do *what* again ? |
245 | Linus Torvalds | to grep road side other |
246 | Dilbert | HR director Ratbert designated it Personal Logic Interpreter to my boss |
247 | Buckaroo Bonsai | It was just checking..."wherever you go..." |
248 | Kenny Rogers | I offered it job you know! |
249 | Church's | I offered it job too, you know! |
250 | Superchicken | I did it to change in the phone booth over there, |
251 | Malcolm X | To praise Allah! |
252 | The Weasel | Ah ha! I see that chicken. I'm gonna follow her and suck her brains out. |
253 | The Chicken | Why should all of you care why I crossed the road? |
254 | Billybob and Cleatis | We sent that there chicken after some beer, dagnabit, and she ain't come back in a coon's age! |
255 | Wrong joke!?! | Because it's p*cker's on it's head? |
256 | Ace Ventura | Welllllll reeeeeeeeeaallllllyyy? All righty then!!! |
257 | Roadrunner | Beep, beep!!! |
258 | Cheech Y Chong | Ppfffssttttt! Ppffsssttt! (inhale) Wow man, that's pretty heavy! |
259 | Neil Armstrong | Thats one small step for a chicken, one giant leap for chickenkind |
260 | Arthur, King of the Brittons | Was this chicken African, or European? |
261 | The Bridge Keeper | I,...uhh..I don't know... |
262 | Machiavelli | The point is... |
263 | JFK | Ask not, why the chicken crossed the road... |
264 | Gen. George S. Patton | No dumb son-of-a-cluck ever won a war by crossing the road for his country. |
265 | Chico Marx | I understand why a chicken. I no understand why a duck. |
266 | The Road Warrior | To get gas. |
267 | little Billy Shakespeare | A road is a road. . . . .hmmm . . . interesting concept, wonder if I could use it . . . |
268 | John Lennon | Why did she do it...cross the road? |
269 | John Cleese | because someone farted in its general direction |
270 | Ahnold Svartznegger | Don't you vorry bout dat chicken! She'll be bach! Hasta la vista, baby! |
271 | Marcel Marceau | :-0 :-) :-( :-D :-| :~> |
272 | George Bush | READ MY LIPS! No chicken taxes! Unless they cross the road of course! |
273 | Angry Commuter | I don't know why, or what it was doing on the road, |
274 | A man from Nantucket | You ask why the chick crossed the road? |
275 | Phil Zimmerman | It was looking for its keys |
276 | Garth Brooks | I got chickens in low places! |
277 | Bawk! Bawk! | Cluck bawwwk cluck cluck baaawwwwkkk! |
278 | Cow | He's my bwother let him go! |
279 | The G-men | That was an unauthorized cross, and now we must take that cluck out! |
280 | The Beatles | Shae has the eggs, man! Goo goo gajoob! |
281 | Ronald McDonald | McNuggets! |
282 | Holly Farms | $1.49 lb. |
283 | Mr. Costanza | For SERENITY NOW!! |
284 | Lovely Rita, meter maid | Because that's where she parked her chicken coupe. |
285 | Douglas Adams | 42 |
286 | John Wayne | Cross the Road!! Are you looking for trouble, mister? (reply to Pilgrim) |
287 | Country & Western Singer | 'Cause she was lookin' for eggs in all the wrong places... |
288 | George Burns and Gracie Allen | What do you think about this, Gracie? |
289 | Shirley MacLaine | I know because I was a chicken in a previous life |
290 | Captain Queeg | Because it was after my strawberries. Yeah, that's it. The strawberries. |
291 | Captain Cruch | Because it was after my cereal |
292 | Scotty | It was trying to get away because my engines were gonna blow! I can't change the laws of physics! |
293 | Petula Clark | Because it wanted to go downtown, where all the lights are bright... |
294 | George Bailey | Because it wanted to shake off the dust of this crummy little town and see the world |
295 | Knight who says "Nee" | To get me a shrubbery |
296 | Cousin It | Tabeebadabeeebeee beeedabeeebebe debbeeedeebee |
297 | Walter Cronkite | Because that's the way it is |
298 | Rolling Stones | Because it can't get no satisfaction |
299 | R. J. Reynolds | Why not? It would walk a mile for a Camel. |
300 | IRS auditor | Because it looked at it's files, and that's what it did last year |
301 | Duck | To post the 301st follow up to the chicken thread! |
302 | Duck | To post the 301st follow up to the chicken thread!! |
303 | Bud Dry | Why ask why? |
304 | Pilgrim | (reply to J Wayne) I think you may have mistaken me for someone/thing else...but that's not importan |
305 | The Fonz | 'cuz it was the cool thing to do. |
306 | USDA Inspector | To get out of Texas. Too much dioxin in the chicken feed. |
307 | The Zucker Brothers | (reply to Pilgrim) "..to get some pictures, boys!" |
308 | Jack Kerouack | To see the road, feel the road, understand what it is to be the road. That long |
309 | R.E.M. | To Stand in the Middle of the Street. |
310 | Raoul Ritz (the doorman from Tom Robbins' "Skinny Legs and All") | My Heart is a Third World country |
311 | Rev. Jim Ignatowski | Uhh-uuh-hu-uuuh... Uhh-uhuhh-uh... aaah... ahuhaa... what was the question? |
312 | Striker | I guess the foot's on the other hand now, isn't it Cramer?! |
313 | Striker | Uh, make that '...the other *side* now...' |
314 | OB-One Kenobi | Because it felt a disturbance in the Force. |
315 | C3-PO | I'm sorry Master Luke, but that chicken does not speak a dialect I understand. |
316 | Charles DeGaulle | For France!!!! |
317 | Captain Kirk | Damn the regulations! It knew it had to cross to avoid an interstellar war! |
318 | Bob Dole | Who cares? Bob Dole doesn't need this kind of stress. |
319 | George Bush | I warned you all about chicken fecal matter! |
320 | Ford Prefect | because it forgot its towel |
321 | Ross Perot | Now, the way I see it is that the chicken had one heck of a motivation. Why else would he cross? |
322 | Captain Sheridan | To get the hell out of my galaxy! |
323 | Sgt. Schultz | I did not see a chicken, especially that one crossing the road! I seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee nothing! |
324 | Captain Janeway | Paris, set course and speed to match that chicken. It may have found a faster way home! |
325 | Copernicus | Because it is the chicken that orbits the road. |
326 | Mongo | Mongo no know. Mongo only pawn in game of life. |
327 | Wile E. Coyote | Shucks! You mean the Acme anvil didn't get her? She should have tripped the wire like so, and ... |
328 | Zathras | Zathras carry many things. Zathras work hard. Zathras need not worry about chicken, it brings |
329 | Jim Morrison | (This post contains the lost line from "Riders on the Storm") |
330 | Poultry | You'd have gotten outta town quick too if *you* were a bird in Hong Kong ! |
331 | Richard P. Feynman | I'll prepare a freshman lecture on it. |
332 | Alexander the Chicken | veni vedi vici |
333 | Alexander the Chicken | Oops! Wrong quote! Should have been "So I could mourn that there were no more roads to cross". |
334 | Julius Chicken | I said "Veni Vidi Vice". What's with Alexander? |
335 | Jim Morrison | 'Cause on this holiday, on turkey you will prey... |
336 | Marvin the Martian | Because she stole my Illudium Phew36 explosive space modulator!!! |
337 | Jimmy Carter | In my heart I lusted after that chicken. |
338 | Jim Morrison | To break on through to the other side. |
339 | Bonkers | To show the opossum that it *could* be done! |
340 | The Fireman | To hold up her pants!! |
341 | bb("we're repeating ourselves") | Bonkers, I did that at the beginning. We're repeating ourselves. |
342 | Cookie Monster | To get cookie! |
343 | Lou Reed | To take a walk on the wild side |
344 | Professor Henry Higgins | To see if I could turn her into a lady |
345 | Matilda | To go waltzing |
346 | Monty Hall | She's only dressed in a chicken suit to get my attention so I'll offer this fabulous deal... |
347 | Bonkers | To try to be original |
348 | Survived | Becasue it couldn't get a ticket on the Titanic |
349 | The Bird | To do the bird! |
350 | Jim Morrison | To break on through to the other side |
351 | Groucho Marx | Duck Soup ! |
352 | Robert Plant | She thought it was the stairway to heaven |
353 | Aerosmith | 'cuz I whipped out my big 10 inch |
354 | Lynrd Skynrd | Because it's a Free Bird |
355 | Wrangler | To distract us from the egg question |
356 | Nostradamus | Because I predicted it would |
357 | Wrangler (doing my best to keep it going) | Because it wanted Auto-erotic sex |
358 | Leper | To get away from me!!! |
359 | Bicycle Bill | Because the rooster goost'er... |
360 | bb("reader") | Bonkers, you mean you didn't READ them again and again, and kill yourself laffing (as I do)? |
361 | Vlad the Impaler (With Apologies to Vlad the Impala) | Because he spotted me with my rotisserie (sp?) spit |
362 | Chico Marx | I understand why a chicken. I no understand why a duck. |
363 | Chico Marx | I understand why a chicken. I no understand why a duck. |
364 | R.M.S. Titanic | To miss the iceberg |
365 | Kate Winslet | To get a better look at my breasts |
366 | Leonardo DiCaprio | To pummel the Academy Award nominating committee for not including me for best actor |
367 | Chicken's mother | To come home. Supper is on the table and it's getting cold |
368 | Webelow | Because that @#*//^$ boy scout wouldn't take "NO" for an answer!!!!!!!! |
369 | Werner Karl Heisenberg | It is uncertain |
370 | bb("LOL") | Damn, Webelow, I'd completely forgotten about that stuff! But isn't it "Cub Scout"? |
371 | Harry | Uh, to get to the other side!? |
372 | Herbert Hoover | It all started when I promised a chicken in every pot... |
373 | bb("andy kaufman") | Harry, did you take a look at the post that started this all? Or are you being a "modern" comic? |
374 | Abraham Maslow | To attain self-actualization |
375 | U.S.Army | To be all that she could be |
376 | U.S.Navy | Because it wasn't a job, it was an adventure |
377 | U.S.M.C. | To be one of the few, the proud, .... |
378 | Scarlett | Because she was going home, yes, home to Tara where tomorrow is another day! |
379 | Willie Dixon | To see the Little Red Rooster - who was too lazy to crow for days |
380 | Jim Morrison@Soul Kitchen | Because the clock says it's time to gooooooo...... nooooooowwwwwww |
381 | Patsy Cline | 'Cuz she was "Walkin' after midnight ", and "Crazy"... |
382 | Deer | I gave her these instructions! |
383 | The Homophobic Rooster | Damn it, I am not a chicken!!!!!! |
384 | Accident Report | It was a dark and stormy night, and the white lines hadn't been repainted... |
385 | Letter getter | To get to her mailbox, of course! |
386 | Schoolyard Bully | Cuz she were yeller! Chicken, Chicken!! |
387 | T_ _ET T_ T_E _T_ER S__E | Uh, I'd like to buy a vowel? An "A"? |
388 | Pat Sajak | Sorry, no "A"'s |
389 | Those damned snowplows | To FIX her mailbox! |
390 | Malcontent | The bugs are always juicier on the other side |
391 | Eggxaminer | It was a Friedian slip |
392 | Eggxaminer | She had to scramble... |
393 | (3)Minuteman | She couldn't see the whites of their eggs... |
394 | Eggs-Lax | Those prunes finally hit! |
395 | Eggxaminer | She got nervous about the poachers... |
396 | Eggxaminer | She was forced to give up nesting around all those nearsighted golfers - it was no yolking matter... |
397 | Eggxaminer | There were about a dozen reasons... |
398 | The Daily Eggxaminer | Eggstra! Eggstra! Read All About It! |
399 | E.M. Rooster | To get A Room With A View |
400 | E.M. Rooster | To get A Passage To India |
401 | Fats Domino | Because she's "Walkin to New Orleans" |
402 | The Prisoner | Because, I am not a number !!...... I am a .....CHICKEN !?!?!?! |
403 | Wallace StEGGner | To get a better Angle of Repose |
404 | Eggxaminer | The deviled eggs made her do it... |
405 | Eggxaminer (stop me, please) | She just followed the Eggxit sign... |
406 | Eggxaminer | I don't know, but I'll eggs her for you. |
407 | Rolling Sojourner | Oh, Lord, won'tcha stop me from posting to this thread? (Forget the Benz) |
408 | To Prisoner | It's just a simple qustion... |
409 | For Eggxaminer | !!!WHACK!!!...here, try some decaf, honey |
410 | Doc's evil clone! | I am not a chicken!! I have FREE WILL!!!!! |
411 | Erwin Schrodinger | She was looking for my cat. |
412 | Martin Luther | She crossed by the free Grace of God |
413 | B.F. Skinner | Because of operant conditioning, to get to Walden Two. |
414 | the Prisoner | It's either me or McGoohan.... take your pick |
415 | John Steinbeak (I'm baaaack - unfortunately for y'all, I don't do decaf) | to get to The Pastures of Heaven |
416 | People for the Ethical Treatment of Chickens | She saw our resident opportunistic libertarian coming & suspected that if he wanted to 'interact'... |
417 | Eggxaminer | Oh, sheesh, I missed my chance. That should have been "Eggcident Report." |
418 | Harry | The chicken was influenced be the movie "The Program." |
419 | Willy Nelson | The chicken was playing on the road again. |
420 | Tweety | The chicken taught he taw a putty cat. |
421 | Ronald Reagan | I don't recall. |
422 | Bo & Luke Duke | Sherif Rosco P. Coaltrain was chasing the chicken, Yeee Haaa! |
423 | Oliver Stone | The C.I.A made the chicken cross the road. |
424 | Sharen Stone | What, are you going to arrest me for crossing the road? |
425 | David Copperfield | Ta Daa! What chicken! |
426 | Bill Gates | To buy my updated software (we all know chickens like BUGS!). |
427 | Rosa Parks | The chicken was tired of having to sit on this side of the road! |
428 | The Chauvinist Pig | Because there was a sidewalk sale on the other side and...... |
429 | The silly knight | Because I was carrying her. |
430 | Baudelayer | She was headed for the Left Bank for a poetry reading |
431 | A Reader | She had Great Expectations! |
432 | EGGSACTLY! | You mean "Great Eggspectations," don't you? |
433 | Nicole Brown Simpson | To escape her eggs-husband. |
434 | Slanter | It saw the bumper sticker on the front of my '66 Dodge Dart! |
435 | Darth Vader | I turned it to the Dark Side! |
436 | Darles Chickens | Why shouldn't the chicken have been a fan of my books? |
437 | Ralph Waldo Egg-erson | Because you're not a Transcendentalist! |
438 | Hen-man Melville | Go suck an egg, Waldo! |
439 | Matt Cramer (aka Slanter) | I just saw that one, Striker, and being the only Cramer here, I don't get it! |
440 | bawk-bawk | To post to the chicken thread, of course! |
441 | Ulysses S. Grant | Because the chicken is marching home again, hoorah! Hoorah! |
442 | George M. Cohan | Because he's going over. He's going over. And he won't come back 'till it's over over there. |
443 | General Sherman | Because it couldn't stand to hear the rooster anymore ("Waaark is hell") |
444 | Leon Redbone, Blind Blake, and Blind Lemon Jefferson | Because it wanted to find out what "diddie wa diddie" means... |
445 | Mr. Moose | Because he had some serious reservations about The Captain and Mr. Greenjeans. |
446 | Chicken | How far must I go to be recognized for my eggcomplishment? |
447 | Chicken | How far must I go to be receggnized for my eggcomplishment?(just a minor correggtion) |
448 | Susan Powter | Because it wanted to end the madness |
449 | Mr. Magoo | That wasn't a chicken. It was a wild bandicoot! |
450 | Steve McGarrett | Okay, we got you for road crossing one! Dano, book, book, book, 'em. |
451 | John Denver | Because it's leaving, on a jet plane.... |
452 | bb("nitpicker, and picky, picky, PICKY") | Because it wanted to get to a thread where it would be called either "she" or "it". |
453 | Running out of ideas | Beak-ause it was tired of being lowest on the pecking order |