JINGLE ALL THE WAY
1996
Dir: Brian Levant
Writer: Randy Kornfield
With: Arnold Shwarzenegger, Sinbad, Phil Hartman, Rita Wilson, Robert Conrad
WHAT IT IS ABOUT:
Arnold never spends time with his wife and child and come Christmas Eve he has yet to buy that Turbo Man toy that his kid wants. Arnold is SO desperate to have his kid like him that he wants to get this toy AT ALL COSTS! This, of course, includes the manhandling and assault on Sinbad who offers the same in return so he can get a Turbo Man toy for his kid.
CEPHAS’ NOTES and SPOILERS:
Apart from the sparse swearing, it is a family film. Arnold is lousy again in this film (geez, why can’t Ah-Nold get back to doing those cool as hell action films he used to be in like COMMANDO?? I love that film! Why can’t we see COMMANDO 2 or another PREDATOR with him in it again instead of Danny Glover? Instead we get KINDERGARTEN COP, TWINS, and (gasp) JUNIOR??????????) sorry, I had to rant for a moment. The only saving point of this film is the funny as hell Parade scene at the last 20 minutes or so where Arnold ends up in the real Turbo Man’s outfit and fights Sinbad in the streets of Minneapolis! (At least I think that is where it takes place. They mention Lake Minetonka and that just reminds me of that awesome scene in PURPLE RAIN when Prince gets Appolonia to undress and....uh..sorry. I digress again...wait a sec....mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....Appolonia nekkid....mmmmmmmmmmmm) SORRY!!!!!! Where was I? Oh yeah.....Arnold fighting Sinbad. Good stuff. Just for the parade scene I recommend this film. Hartman was just stupid in this film. I want Hartman in a manly comedy...I’m tired of him being in these wussy-assed roles where I swear his characters must be gay!
CEPHAS’ RATING:
RENT THIS FILM but only for the parade scene. The rest is just filler as far as I’m concerned. There is nothing to be learned here except “Give your kid what he wants because it will buy his love and make him a spoiled brat that deserves a good beating with a lead pipe.” (Oh! Sorry! Did I say that? Must be the egg-nog that I don’t drink that is doing this to me!)