Not all of these phrases are ones I personally saw. I admit, some were copied from another web site, but I couldn't reprint some of them here, nor do I wish to give credit to where I got them because they were hardly the type that are family oriented. I will also be listing some I made up or saw myself.

If you wish to invent your own, or e-mail me with some you saw, feel free to send it in.

Vote Republican - it's easier than thinking.

Missing dog and wife. Reward for dog.

i souport publik edekasion.

Back Up My Hard Drive? How do I Put It In Reverse?

Pardon my driving. I'm reloading.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Don't look back, they might be gaining on you.

Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.

There are two kinds of pedestrians - the quick and the dead.

I have an answering machine in my car. It says: I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out.

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.

Beat the 5 o'clock rush, leave work at noon!

They couldn't repair my brakes, so they made my horn louder.

Drive carefully! Remember, it's not only a car that can be recalled by it's maker.

Drive carefully, we need every taxpayer we can get.

Drive defensively - buy a tank.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce today would cost $100, get a million miles to the gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.

Hang up and drive!

Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Cover me. I'm changing lanes.

My kid beat up your honor student.

I'm out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?

Support Search & Rescue - GET LOST!

Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States.

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming in terror like his passengers.

If you don't like the way I'm driving, YOU come get these handcuffs off!

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

A.A.A.A.A. - An organization for drunks who drive.

Two wrongs don't make a right but three rights make a left.

Attention: Driver carries less than $20 in ammunition.

Jesus is coming - Look Busy!

I got this motor home for my wife. BEST deal I ever made!

The kids drive me crazy. I drive them everywhere.

Why am I the only person on earth who knows how to drive?

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change ready.

Go on, I'll see you at the next traffic light.

I Brake For No Apparent Reason.

No Radio - Already Stolen.

Back off, I'm a postal worker.

Don't like my driving? Then quit watching me.

I may be slow but I'm ahead of you!

Even though this is a stupid bumper sticker, you're squinting to read it.

Keep honking - I'm reloading.

My Other car is a beater (On the back of a beater).

I love animals - especially in a good gravy!

Earth first! (We'll strip mine the other planets later)

Born free... Taxed to death.

IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.

On the back of an old pickup: If this truck was a horse, I'd
have to shoot it.

In a few years I'll be tall enough to see over the wheel.

Jesus, protect me from your followers!

I brake for tailgaters. Hard.

I'm not tailgating, I'm drafting!

Women make great leaders, you're following one.

Honk if you love cheeses.

If you can read this, you are in phaser range.

So many cats. So few recipes.

I need patience. NOW!

My other vehicle is a broom stick.

My God is alive - sorry about yours.

I don't trust President Clinton (or her husband).

If you listen carefully on a quiet night, you can hear the
sound of Chevys rusting in the distance.

Red meat isn't bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is.

FREE TIBET! (with the purchase of a 44 oz. drink).

Help beautify our dumps. Throw away something pretty.

Free Tibet! (With the purchase of a Tibet of equal or lesser
value.)

(On the back of a VW Beetle) Don't honk, I'm peddling as
fast as I can.

(On a VW being pulled by an RV) Don't honk, I'm pushing as
hard as I can.

Witches' Parking - All others Toad.

My kid was Prisoner of the Month at Orange County Jail.

Missing your cat? Try looking under my tires.

I think therefore I'm dangerous.

Get in - buckle up - shut up - and hold on!

Never drive faster than your Guardian Angel can fly (Found
on the back of a Pontiac Fiero)

Support your State Troopers - Drive really fast.

'YES this is my truck. NO I wont help you move.'

My Governor can beat up your Governor. (Minnesota bumper
sticker)

You're driving a car. It isn't a telephone booth, a beauty
parlor or a restaurant.

Montana - At least our cows are sane!

Guns don't kill people (postal workers do).

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a
vegetarian.

Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!

If you are close enough to read this, I am close enough to
slam on my brakes and sue you.

I brake for hallucinations.

Forget About World Peace... Visualize Using Your Turn
Signal!