Wise men say that every cloud has a silver lining. We all mourned the defeat of Mr. Ehud Barak, Israel's most decorated soldier, at the hands of a certain well known overweight politician whose name we shall not mention. But on the other hand, because Barak's defeat caused him to resign from the holy Knesset, we have merited the return of one of Israel's most pious politicians. Enlightened web surfer, I am referring to the one and only Mr. Eitan Cabel, who was next in line on the holy One Israel Party list to enter the holy Knesset. Because of Barak's resignation, Mr. Cabel was sworn in as a member of the parliament of the post-zionist entity.

Mr. Cabel is a man rich in good deeds. There are few people in the New Middle East whose actions reflect the ideology of The Church of Rabin And Peace more than Eitan Cabel. We would like to mention just a few of those deeds which caught our attention and prompted us to bestow upon Mr. Cabel the prestigious Church of Rabin And Peace Award.

1. It is well known in our circles that right wing incitement created the political atmosphere that led to Rabin's assassination. But we, the enlightened can say what we please. So we were quite delighted by what was said by Mr. Cabel at a meeting of a Labor faction, as reported on August, 6, 1997 by the sacred Maariv newspaper:
   
   "Hit Netanyahu -- shoot in all directions"

2. One of the values dear to our hearts is the rule of the law. Another important value is the need to erect monuments to commemorate our master. The following item which was reported in the detestable Arutz 7 email newsletter on the holy date of November 4, 1997 shows what the enlightened public does when these values clash:

   Anti-right incitement appears to be on the increase, as the second anniversary of Yitzchak Rabin's murder nears. The police prevented Labor MK Eitan Cabel from erecting an illegal monument in memory of Rabin this morning in Zion Square in Jerusalem. Several of the people who aided him were detained for questioning.

   From this one may learn that a member of the enlightened public can break the law in order to erect Rabin monuments.

3. One of our goals is to rid the State of Israel of any sign of Jewishness. Therefore we like to encourage things that the Torah prohibits. Once again, Eitan Cabel leads the way as reported on June 28, 1998 in the most sacred newspaper, Ha'aretz:

   More than 1,500 homosexuals, lesbians and heterosexual supporters braved the heat to march through Tel Aviv on Friday afternoon in the first Gay Pride Parade held in Israel.
   
   The marchers gathered at Rabin Square, where they collected banners and gay pride rainbow-colored flags, before setting out with police accompaniment shortly after 2:30. Led by lesbian and feminist motorcyclists, the parade's front row, carrying a huge gay-pride flag that covered the width of the street, consisted of Labor Knesset members Elie Goldschmidt, Yael Dayan and Eitan Cabel, Meretz MKs Dedi Zucker, Naomi Hazan and Anat Maor and Hadash-Balad MK Tamar Gozansky.

4. And who is spearheading the battle against the abominable Arutz 7 radio station?

   Wednesday, February 24, 1999
   
   ARUTZ-7 APPEAL TO BE HEARD NEXT WEEK
   
   The continuing saga of Arutz-7: A forum of three Supreme Court justices will hear petitions to disqualify yesterday's Knesset bill which formally licenses Arutz-7. The two appeals - by MK Eitan Cabel (Labor), and MKs Yossi Sarid and Chaim Oron (Meretz) - were submitted just hours after yesterday's vote, and will be heard next Monday.

5. But what really made our day was a mivzak from the holy y-net web site on May 3, 2001. The Church of Rabin And Peace has translated it into English for the enlightened virtual community.

   MK Eitan Cabel objected to a meeting between the president of the High Court of Law and Arutz 7 reporters. Cabel who petitioned the High Court of Justice against Arutz 7, expressed rage with regards to the meeting between the President of the High Court of Law Barak and the Arutz reporters, in the framework of a meeting that was held today with reporters of religious affairs. Cabel said, "It cannot be that an illegal communications body, whose matter is presently before the High Court of Law, will be invited to the holy of holies of the law establishment in Israel." He added, "If a flame has befallen the cedars, what will the wall hyssops say?"

   Holy of holies! What piousness, what a zealot, what a Chassid, what a Tzaddik! Who is more fitting than Mr. Cabel to be a CRAP prize laureate?

If you would like to congratulate MK Eitan Cabel, send him an email at ecabe@knesset.gov.il .

Copyright 2001 by The Church of Rabin And Peace.  All rights reserved.