|On the first day of creation,
God created the cat.
On the second day,
God created man to serve the cat.
On the third,
God created all the animals
of the earth to serve as potential
food for the cat.
On the fourth day,
God created honest toil so that man
could labor for the good of the cat.
On the fifth day,
God created the sparkle ball
so that the cat
might or might not play with it.
On the sixth day,
God created veterinary science
to keep the cat healthy
and the man broke.
On the seventh day,
God tried to rest,
but he had to scoop the litterbox.
And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever, and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will know I love you, even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish and childish and how unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourself."
And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and he wagged his tail. And Adam said, "But Lord, I have already named all of the animals in the Kingdom and all the good names are already taken and I cannot think of a name for this new animal." And God said, "No problem. Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him dog."
And dog lived with Adam and was a companion to him and loved him. And Adam was comforted. And God was pleased. And dog was content and wagged his tail.
After a while, it came to pass that Adam's guardian angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam has become filled with pride. He struts and preens and he believes he is worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught him that he is loved, but no one has taught him humility." And the Lord said, "No problem! I will create for him a companion who will be with him forever and who will see him as he is. The companion will remind him of his limitations, so he will know that he is not worthy of adoration."
And God created cat to be a companion to Adam. And cat would not obey Adam. And when Adam gazed into cat's eyes, he was reminded that he was not the supreme being. And Adam learned humility. And God was pleased. And Adam was greatly improved. And cat did not care one way or another.