I have many self-esteem issues. I often find myself thinking I am not good enough for my boyfriend, even though I know that he loves me. I look at myself in the mirror and wish that I was 10 pounds lighter, even though I know I'm not that hefty. I look at other people and constantly think about how much better they are than me, even though I know they aren't thinking "Hey, I'm better than her!" Oh yes, my self-esteem is a little low, though it is vastly grown since I was 12 and had no friends and wanted to kill myself. I'm not the little girl who hates herself anymore, but I'm still not entirely happy with what I see when I look at myself.

If I was entirely secure with myself then I wouldn't need to feel prettier, and smarter then everyone else...but I do. It's sad really. I have so much growing left to do and now I realize I've actually left many things i did when I was a child behind I don't know why. I'm not even entirely sure of what I am trying to say. But sitting here right now I realize that I want to move forward at full force and not look back. You know what else is wierd? Many of the things that appealed to me when I younger just don't anymore. When I was 15 I thought I would want to be a punk forever, and I thought I could be...now I'm not so sure.