When I was 15 years old I thought I was the coolest thing on the planet, but now looking back I was so not
even close. When I look at pictures of myself when I was 14, 15, 16, I wonder what the hell I was thinking and why I thought
I looked so good. I was the girl that wore the bright red pajamas with farm animals on them to school because they were
so comfortable and to get attention. All through grade 10 I wore big fuzzy bee slippers through the hallowed halls of
St. Mary's high school because shoes were just so boring and big bees on my feet, that was funky. Grade 10 and
11 were the highlight of my life because I was just so into doing anything that I wanted to do and I didn't care what anyone
else thought. Of course now things have changed. I'm 18 years old and I just can't pull off the same stuff that I could when
I was in high school...actually I probably could, I'm just more subdued in my style right now. When I have a scanner (which
hopefully will be soon, just keep your little fingers crossed) I'll put up some pictures. I should start taking more
pictures, thanks for reminding me.
It's funny how when I was in high school in the midst of my teen angst I was never afraid to do anything
or say anything or be anything. I would walk around downtown at night all alone at night not even considering the
fact that serial rapists and peopel waiting to jump me were lurking around every corner just waiting for some innocent
little girl to come along. I was never scared of anyone, I befriended everyone and person I met would have an automatic
invitation to sleep over at my house. We would hang out in droves infront of A and B sound or in Terra Nova not
buying anything, just loitering. I was the person that I scoff at now. Now I'm a little more anxious about walking anywhere at night alone and
the kids that I was I am afraid of. The loud annoying kid who swears too much and talks to loud who's fashion choices
are just extreme fashion faux pas that was me and I don't know what happened to her.
Somewhere in between yesterday and today I grew up and became jaded and lost my naive innocence,
outgoing became antisocial and fearlessness became caution. It's strange how much people change in such a short
amount of time and it's strange how some people never do.