Chapter 17
She was gone...where she went, he didn't know. He watched as the diamond ring glittered in the moonlight. He snatched it up from the ground. He was too angry and sad to cry. He stormed back into the house and headed upstairs to go off on Britney.
"BRITNEY SPEARS! YOU FUCKING BITCH! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE BRITNEY? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?"
She was giggling at his tone and was laying out on the bed with her legs open. "Hehe. O Justin, don't yell. You know, I lied about it didn't hurt. It hurt really bad. But I had to stay real quiet so Kim wouldn't know. If you cut your thingy in half the world would be a better place." She smiled extra bright.
Justin took her by the leg and pulled her off of his bed. "GOOD GOD HAVEN'T YOU ANY MANNERS? KEEP YOUR LEGS CLOSED! HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE BRITNEY?" When he got an up close look at her, he could see she was wearing Kim's nightgown and she had her hair cut exactly like Kim's. "WHY DID YOU DO THIS? WHY DID YOU MAKE HER LEAVE ME? WHY? WHY, BRITNEY?"
She puckered her lips and looked like she was about to kiss him. "Justin, I snuck in the house just to see you. A while ago, that was me on the phone not your Mom. When you said Kim leaves in the middle of the night, I knew it would be the perfect time for us to be together." She smiled.
"NOPE...THATS IT! YOU'VE WENT TOO FAR THIS TIME! I WILL NOT LET YOU GET AWAY WITH THIS! YOU ARE ONE SICK BITCH. YOU BROKE INTO MY HOUSE, GOT ON TOP OF ME AND DID THAT TO ME? YOU COULD EVEN BE PREGNANT NOW...DON'T YOU SEE? YOUR LITTLE GAMES ARE SICK! HOW COULD I HAVE NOT KNOWN YOU WEREN'T KIM? I'M SO STUPID! AND I'VE LOST MY, BABY GIRL, AND MY SON BECAUSE OF YOU! I HATE YOUR STUPID ASS BRITNEY, YOU TOOK MY WHOLE LIFE AWAY. YOU'VE RUINED ME! YOU'VE RUINED EVERY FUCKING THING!"
He picked up the cordless phone and dialed 911.
"Wait! No Justin. I'll leave. Don't call the cops." She ran to the bedroom door.
Justin slammed it closed with his fist. "NO SWEETHEART, YOU AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE! OH EXCEPT JAIL!" He put the phone to his ear. "Hi... the bitch Britney Spears has broken into my house. She is obsessive and someone needs to take care of her...CALM DOWN? I cannot CALM DOWN! You can't understand all the emotional damaged she caused...Yes Britney Spears the pop star...Yes I'm Justin Timberlake the pop star..."
Britney stole the phone from Justin and cut it off. "Thats a no no! You trying to rat me out, Justin?" She tore the back off of it and took each of the batteries, out one by one.
He approached her. "Give me the phone back, BITCH."
"If you want it, Justin. Come and get it baby."
He shook his head. "What is WRONG WITH YOU?"
She covered her ears. "Just STOP it, Justin. Stop trying to fake you don't love me. I'm already soar, we might as well continue where we left off. Only this time I can scream out your name when you make love to me." She threw the batteries throughout the room, each in different locations.
Justin raise his hand and he just wanted to slap some sense into her, but his hand slowly lowered and turned into a pointed finger. "I knew when I got into Nsync, it was the one thing I wanted in life...to be a performer. And, once you reach that goal and have made it, you have to set other goals to just keep building at success. About a year and a half ago, AFTER YOU BROKE UP WITH ME, I SET A GOAL FOR MYSELF! The goal was to find something else to make me happy besides my career in music. I don't know how or why, but I met Kim. Nothing is more important to me then her. Sorry mom, but Kim is the one something that I had been looking for all along. SHE COMPLETES MY LIFE, BRITNEY! I never thought I'd meet the ABSOLUTE PERFECT PERSON FOR ME. At first I was upset that she was pregnant because she lied to me about it, but now I want the baby too. I WANT MY SON. I WANT HER. AND YOU JUST RAN THEM AWAY FROM ME!" He grabbed Britney's arm and pulled her close. His face was so close to hers his lips were practically on hers. "I said I'll never kiss you again, and I WON'T. But do know this. You may have the looks, and the body, you wish you had a voice, and you may have the charm, but you are nothing more that a grade "A" SLUT! If I were you, I'd get some of the plastic taken away...I should know baby, I brought more than half of it." He shrugged her arm loose and stood back to watch her closely. The eye contact was so intense and he could see the pain in Britney's eyes. "Thats right! CRY ABOUT IT!" He punched his fist in the palm of his hand. "CRY ABOUT IT! I HAVE NO FIANCÉ TO MARRY, I HAVE NO CHILD. I HAVE NOTHING. God only know where's she going. She probably WON'T come back. IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT. CRY ABOUT IT. CRY! SO, IT WILL FIX EVERYTHING AND MAKE ALL THE HORRIBLE THINGS YOU'VE DONE, GO AWAY." He said sarcastically. A tear fell out of his angry blue eyes. He looked down at the carpet. "I'm a loser, just like she said. I could have gotten rid if you. BUT, NO! I'm too damn stupid and KEPT letting things slide with you, and now I have nothing. Look at me. I'm fucked!" The doorbell rang, it was the police. "As our old hit song would say...BYE BYE BYYYYYE!" He did the hand gesture in her face.
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She was torn and losing it. Kim had no idea what she had just witnessed, she didn't know what was going on around her. Ugh! And that sickening image. Justin and Britney...on the bed...moaning? She didn't know what to think. She couldn't because her body had just shut off from everything and she was spinning on a cliff, she was sure to fall of that cliff if she didn't do something. Where was she going? What was she going to do?
She reached into her purse and took out Justin's sliver cell phone. She dialed a familiar number.
"Hello?" A deep voice answered.
She wanted to cry at the sound of his voice, but she couldn't. She wasn't going to cry anymore. Probably because her body was numb and sick with grief. "Listen to me you bastard. I demand that you give me two million dollars in CASH. I've never really asked you for a favor, but you can give me the money tonight or I'll come to the house and get it myself. Believe me it won't be pretty either."
"Kim? Your mother and I don't have that much cash just on us like that. What's wrong? You sound as if something is wrong."
"YOU NEVER WORRIED WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME BEFORE, SO DON'T ASK NOW. And don't lie to me, I'm not stupid, there is about ten million in the vault. You know what I'm talking about. I WANT THE MONEY TONIGHT. If you don't have the money at the restaurant 'The Cobalt' in one hour, I'll take care of everything my way and you'll be sorry."
"Um okay. Kim I wanted to..."
She hung up on her father and threw the cell phone out the window of the car. It shattered, just like everything else around her. From her modeling photo shoots she had money, but she already lost all of her sanity, why not get a buck from her dad? It wasn't like she was getting the money for the hell of it. She was going to need it if she was going to have the best life for her baby...starting tomorrow, she was going to look at houses. She would never EVER, step foot in Justin's house. She would never go back there. Ironically most of their problems and major fights all happened at HIS house. "You and I are never going back there. I'm so sorry you have to be caught in the middle of this." She patted her stomach when she stopped at a red light.
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He looked at the door. For the first time in his life, Justin felt like his life was over. He left the house after Britney was arrested. He didn't know what was going to happen to her, to be truthful...he didn't care. Something that he didn't understand from what Kim said was when she said she was going to get herself a life. What did that mean? He had no mind to think with because his was gone and he was nothing more than the outside frame of a human. He had the gut feeling Kim was never coming back, and the thought just made him want to cry. Why wasn't he crying? He didn't understand that either. He reached up and wiped his eye with his fist. It was burning for some reason. So, his face was wet. Maybe he was even crying, but what were his tears now? The really didn't mean anything to him.
The door opened and his heart almost stopped when Chris just glared at him worriedly. "How long is it going to take you to knock, ring the doorbell, or something? Ha...ah...okay, WHAT HAPPENED, JUSTIN?"
He became so pathetic and vulnerable he chocked right there. He couldn't reply to Chris. He was trying to, but couldn't. It took all the strength he had and he lifted Kim's diamond ring and let Chris take in the moment.
From the look Justin had on his face and by taking a view of the ring, he pretty much knew something horrible between him and Kim happened. "Oh man, what happened? What happened? What's with the pillow man?"
JC came jogging up to Chris. "Who's at the door? Your missing the best part of the game. Halftime. Hey, Justin...oh no? What is it this time?"
His friends were so concerned it grew confidence within his mourning body. "The pillow...It's hers. It has her smell on it." He stepped inside the house. "She's gone guys." He whispered. Sure enough he was struggling not to breakdown. He was shaking and didn't realize it. "OHHHHHH GOOOODDD SHE'S GOOOOONNNNNNEEEEEEE!" He backed away from them, until he hit the wall, which he slid down and hid himself in the pillow he was holding. "But I don't understand what happened, because I was innocent and I thought Britney was her, but she wasn't and I would have never her hurt her like that. I'm innocent. I didn't mean to hurt her. I DIDN'T MEAN TO!"
"What happened, Justin? What are you talking about? Kim's gone?" Chris asked closing the door and kneeling down beside him. He rubbed his back. "What happened? Are you going to talk to us?"
JC joined them in kneeling. "Yeah...talk to us, Justin." He said softly.
He lifted his head and looked around. "I need to stay here, because I'm NOT going back to that damn house, other than that...I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!" With that Justin walked up the steps of Chris' house and didn't say anything more to them.
JC and Chris both looked at each other.
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Kim stepped out of her car and with no shoes and just a nightgown. She walked over to a man that was waiting for her. She held the side of her dress tight when they just stood, exchanging looks which were filled with confusion.
Kim took the first move and took two large suit cases which were on each side of the man.
"Look at you. You really are pregnant...It's all there, Kim. Actually, I gave you more than two million." She rolled her eyes at him and turned her back to him and walked. "Kim, wait! Your mother and I...we are sorry for what we did to you." Kim kept walking. "She's sick Kim. I wanted to tell you that. She's sick and you should come to see her before she dies."
Kim stopped in her tracks and sluggishly turned around. "Oh yeah? She's sick? Well I'm sorry about that." She put the suitcases in the back of her car and took off, leaving him standing there, filled with stupidity.
Maybe she meant what she said. Maybe she didn't. He said him and her mother was sorry? They were sorry? Sorry about the tortuous beatings and abuse? That was all? And they expect her to start loving them automatically after suffering from it for eighteen years? The main thing she needed at this point was rest. Her body was clouded with so many thoughts, most of them unpleasant and hurtful. She just need sleep. She was on her way to one of the finest hotels she could find...
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April 17 2002
Justin was sitting down at Chris' kitchen table with all four of his best friends. He gazed at his Ego waffle. It was cut up into many pieces and he had eaten about two pieces of it. He picked up another piece with his fork. He put the piece of food to his lips. His teeth sank into it but he removed the piece of the waffle. He couldn't eat it. He was slowly becoming nauseous. "She's really avoiding me." He blurted out of nowhere. "Yesterday I waited for her, because she had a doctors appointment, but she didn't show...she's really staying away from me."
Everyone stopped eating to put their attention on him.
"You've told us that every five minutes since yesterday morning. Justin, everyone is here for you. WHAT HAPPENED?" Joey spoke first.
"Yeah. ALL of us are here. Can you please tell us what happened? Maybe we can help you." Lance told him.
Justin pushed his plate away. "No! No one can help me."
Chris had the perfect thing to say. "If you don't tell us, we'll just call your mother and have her 'help' you solve your problem. I know she can get anything out of you."
"Ok. I'll tell you." Everyone moved their heads and inch closer to him. "I don't think you want to know, we are eating breakfast."
"No, WE are eating breakfast. YOU are NOT eating yours. Anyway, go ahead. It doesn't matter how bad or sick or nasty what you have to say is, JUST TELL US FOR GOD'S SAKE." JC said desperate to find out.
Justin wiped his face with his hand. He tried to rid the sad smirk from it. "Here goes nothing..."
Everyone nodded.
"I was sleeping and Kim woke me up. I mean, I thought it was Kim that woke me up. She was kissing me and touching me, and I was telling her it wasn't such a good idea, you know, her being pregnant and all. She was just so straight forward and I really had no say in the matter...so...next thing I know, the light comes on and I'm looking at Kim who was the one that cut the light on, and on top of me was...Britney. I swear I didn't know it was her. When I saw the look in Kim's eyes I could see how terrified she was. She wouldn't let me explain. I was tricked." He stopped talking and looked up to meet eight wide eyes.
All of the guys had their mouths hanging open.
JC coughed to relieve some of the tension. "Oh my G...how could you not know it was Britney? Couldn't you tell a different in her stomach? Come on Justin, man."
He was truly embarrassed talking about his life in such a manner, but the people in the room with him at that moment were the only he could tell things like that. "I'm serious I couldn't tell."
Chris bit his lip. "Justin, what do you mean? You were touching her, you should have known it was Britney, if you know Kim so well. It's okay if you made a mistake...so, it's one affair...people make mistakes."
He slammed his fist on the table and kicked his chair from underneath him. "Chris, WHAT THE FUCK? I'm innocent." He scanned them all because none, of them seemed to believe him. "WHY WOULD I HURT HER LIKE THAT? IF I WANTED BRITNEY I WOULD HAVE FUCKED HER ELSE WHERE, NOT IN THE FUCKING BED I SHARE WITH MY GOD DAMN PREGNANT WIFE." It was a habit of his to call Kim his wife when she officially wasn't.
"Okay, so you are innocent." Lance said strangely. "I'm just confused how could you did NOT know it was Britney, you can't tell us any reason."
"Yeah." Joey added. "Just give us one reason. it doesn't make sense you couldn't tell a difference, where were you hands? Couldn't you FEEL a difference?"
"Yeah?" everyone asked agreeing with Joey.
His head was throbbing and pounding and he whished it would explode so he could move on. "MY HANDS? GEE, I WONDER ON HER THIGHS MAYBE? YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW THAT THOUGH BECAUSE EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU CAN KISS MY AS!. YOUR MY BEST FRIENDS! YOU BEGGED ME TO TELL YOU, AND WHEN I DID, YOU THINK I'M LYING ABOUT WHAT I SAID? I TALKING ABOUT MY SEX LIFE! DON'T YOU THINK THAT IS A TAD BIT EMBARRASSING? YOUR MY BEST FRIENDS AND I LOVE YOU GUYS. I NEED YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, AND YOUR DOUBTING ME? DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A FUCKING JOKE TO YOU? WHY WOULD I CHEAT ON HER IF IT WAS GOING TO CAUSE ME THIS MUCH PAIN?" His own tear hit his hand. He wiped his reddened face and was attempting to just walk way from them but he stopped and turned around. He fixed his chair, wiped his face again and sat back down. He was only doing it to try to hold onto his strength, because had he went into that guest-bedroom he would have surely broken-down. He took a swallow of his orange juice and struggled to keep it down. His whole body was sick. He felt worse than he ever had and wished the pain would go way.
"Justin, I'm..." JC tried to say.
He put his hand up and shook his head. "Let me guess your sorry? Let me tell you something. I'll never do this to any of ya'll. Your word comes before any bad thought. I will NEVER do any of you, like you just did me." He bit his knuckles.
"No, really. I'm sorry...we are all sorry." JC stated. "Really..."
"What did I say? I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT SHIT! If you didn't hound on me to begin with you could have heard the rest of the story. KIM LEFT! I BITCHED THE BITCH, BRITNEY, OUT. SHE GOT HAULED OFF TO JAIL FOR BREAKING AND ENTERING, AND ASSAULT."
"So she..." Chris tried to say.
"I really don't want to talk to any of you right now. Why don't you bail Britney out? Get her side of the story. SINCE I HAD AN AFFAIR WITH HER!"
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Once again she was by herself. Laying in some over air-conditioned room which smelled like general medicine.
"I meant to ask you this, Kim. Where's Justin? I've notice you cancelled your appointment yesterday, which was a first. You don't seem yourself at all, and Justin is not with you. I know it is none of my personal business but I was just wondering, is everything...okay?"
She knew she looked gloomy enough. She wanted to smile so badly but she was so traumatized by what she saw in the bedroom the day, it actually cause he voice to become more like a whisper. "To be honest, no everything is NOT okay. And I really don't want to talk about it...lets just say, I have a new house and I don't think Justin will be coming to any visits anytime soon."
The doctor placed his hand on his chin and paused. "Ohhhhhhhkkkkkkkaaaay. I'm sorry for intruding in your privacy. I wish you and your baby well, for the future." He immediately put his eyes on the screen in front of him. "Well, what do you know. The baby is now downward. Which means it's head is now down, which is a natural reaction in preparation for labor.
Kim looked at the screen but could not identify much. "I...I can't see anything."
Doctor Clark laughed. "Well that is part of the head. I have the viewing scaled maximized a lot, and also your baby is taking up more space, so it's harder to get a scanned image of him or her. Ah yes, thats right, the sex. We have to check the sex of the baby. Let's see if those legs are uncrossed this time."
Kim watched closely as the doctor worked on her. She was confused by the images on the screen but didn't care, it was so heart touching to be actually seeing the baby."
"Whoa, it's legs aren't crossed. They aren't crossed at all! IT'S A GIRL, KIM. IT'S A GIRL!"
She covered her mouth with her hand and laughed and cried at the same it. "It...it is? But I thought it was a boy? It's not a boy?"
The man pointed to the screen with a pen. "Those are female parts. I don't see a penis, do you?"
"No, I don't." Kim said laughing and fanning herself. "Finally, I know. Justin was wrong. Oh my God, a baby girl." She cried in both of her hands worse than the first time she saw the baby. "I...I can't believe it. My own baby girl. Baby girl? Just like Justin called me..."
He wiped the jelly off of her oversized stomach. Now, her innie navel had popped out and became an outie. "I say we go into my office and continue with your progress so far."
She tried to get rid of some of her tears but she was blinded by them. "O-okay."
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"...Yes, so, you are in your thirty-second week. which is the very beginning of the eight month. Your almost there Kim. Week forty is the last week. Your weight is one-hundred and twenty-eight pounds. It is normal you've gain more weight. Do remember that you are growing heavier not just because of the baby, but increase in blood, and fluids, your milk. You should gain a pound a week from this point on, so the gain weight process will slow down. I'm sure you've noticed the baby is not moving much, as I've said many times, it is simply because the little one is running out of room in the uterus. Okay?"
Kim placed her hands in her lap. "Okay."
"Now, you've already registered for the hospital you want to deliver the baby in, thats great. So, that way when you go into labor you can just be taken straight to the delivery room, no papers to fill out. You told me a few weeks a go you wanted a 'natural' child birth, right? You don't want drugs right?"
"Right." She said quickly.
"Well if you change your mind, you could have drugs to numb you from the waist down. To be honest Kim, it's going to be hell. You will be in the most unbelievable pain if you have her naturally, but that is your choice."
She rubbed her stomach. "I don't want 'drugs' in my body, besides I think I can handle the pain. I've been though so much of it. I want to see if labor compares to it."
Doctor Clark typed up something in his computer. "Very well. You must make visits with me every week until your fortieth week. Not every two weeks, because there is a chance you can go into labor at anytime. Especially with you because while you were getting your check up, you were two centimeters dilated. I just need to keep a look out for that."
Kim was confused. "What does that mean?"
He chuckled and looked down at her. "It just means your vaginal walls are two centimeters wide. When you go into labor you have to be ten centimeters to be able to push the baby out."
Kim started to shake. "So this means I'm going into labor early?"
He stood up. "Oh no nothing like that. You can be dilating and not be in labor. It happens quiet often. Actually, it's a good thing because when your water breaks you won't have to wait as long to deliver. Just take it easy, Kim. Take some child birth classes or something. Just so you know how to do your breathing and that type of stuff okay? Your doing great. I just hope you have Justin with you. Because with natural child birth you are going to need him. You are going to want him with you because this is your first baby and you will need the affection and encouragement to go on."
"Oh, I think I'm going to be sick." She stood up quickly.
"It's very normal to start throwing up again." He laughed as she ran out of the room.
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Kim sighed at the automatic gate of her new house opened. She drove up the driveway in her new Lexus. New because she traded in her 2001 for a 2003. No matter how nice and beautiful the new house she brought was, it was not Justin's house. She missed him so much. Three days without his smile was killing her alone, but then that image. The image of them. Britney and him. It made her stomach turn. She saw a car in her driveway that had been there before she left.
She was not use to this. She was not use to living on her own; being responsible for so many things. She put her hand on the brick of the house. It was her brick, she owned the house, and it was huge. It was too much for her, but she knew that it was perfect when she saw it. It was perfect for her baby girl. Maybe it wasn't though. Maybe she was just so mad at Justin, and furious with him the house seemed perfect and it really wasn't. She didn't care. She brought her a house and it was time to be a woman and do something with her sorry and pathetic life.
She used her key to open one of the two front doors.
"Oh Miss Miller. We just finished decorating your home. We used the schemes you described to us and we are very proud or our work."
Kim looked around and was stunned my the modern-ness of HER new house. "Cool! I like what I see so far."
"Thank you very much! And just as you said, the only room we didn't mess with was the baby's nursery. You said you wanted us to leave that room empty because you wanted to create the baby's room by yourself. I just wanted you to know we fulfilled that request."
She almost smiled at the man in the suit in front of her. "Thanks."
He tipped his head. "Well the workers already headed out and I think I should too. Thank you very much for the amount of money you paid me and my assistants, if anything is wrong with anything...the china or even the toilet seat covers, please let us know."
She nodded hesitantly. "Okay...I got it. You can go now."
"Right...I'm leaving. I really hope you like your main bedroom, it was the main concern of the day." He opened the door and stood in the doorway talking.
"Okay BYE Mr. Henry!" she closed the door in his face then rolled her eyes...
She was having baby in eight weeks. What was she going to do? "I wonder what Justin is doing right now."