Why take such a beautiful child, God, and give to her such awful pain?

"So that others may learn."

Isn't that a kind of punishment?

"No. It is love, of the deepest kind."

But isn't there an easier way?

"Sometimes, no."

Here was my silent conversation with God one recent morning while standing in the shower shampooing my hair. Such dire thoughts skulked in like a stealthy intruder, sneaking through my brain before I realized they were there - and before I realized I was getting answers.

I had known better than to ask for the "why" of things, for only God truly knows why. "Whys" are the mysterious depths we cannot begin to plunge to while we reside on earth in our limited human forms. But "why" also represents our fears and our deep cries of pain when we slip from faith. So "why" then, was I getting answers? Most likely to give me just enough information to take me in another direction.

Automatically, I turned to the five vital questions we should ask instead of "Why God". These five questions - who, what, how, when and where - are querries we can make that will cause a flow of knowledge to begin. These questions leave the way open for continuation and enlightenment, be they of a spiritual nature or simply as a way of communication in relationships. These foundation questions will end up giving you substance.

The who, what, how, where and when of my "why God?" in this instance is my niece, a brilliant, kind and loving thirteen-year-old. She is a ray of sunshine in everyone's cloudy day, a rainbow in a storm. She has also just been diagnosed with a tumor in the middle of her brain.

Does Meghan matter? Of course she does. She always has, to many people. But suddenly, Meghan is impacting people on a very large scale. News of her crisis cut through us like a hot knife. Suddenly concerns of a daily nature became petty annoyances shoved aside to concentrate fully on her well-being.

An outpouring of love and support is coming to this child-becoming-a-young-woman, from all directions. She needs all the prayers she can get. She needs all the love and support she can get. But perhaps, in the mysterious workings of God, the people involved need to give to Meghan even more than she needs to receive it. Perhaps, in the bigger picture, this is what all of this is truly about.

And Meghan isn't finished with her impacting. I have seen her kind before. She is strong and vital, yet vulnerable. These are qualities needed to get her through this terrible event. These are the characteristics that will impress us and leave us with a memory of having given love in every measure that we have to give to another sacred spirit.

Nobody involved with Meghan, on even the smallest scale, will be the same again. There is no going back, even for those who do not know her and volunteered to pray for her anonymously. Their lives will change in subtle ways that perhaps they won't even be aware of. In one way or another, we will all grow from this experience, even those of you now reading this.

There is no doubt in my mind that the surgeons who cut into Meghan's brain at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota the morning of February 4th, "felt" Meghan's presence in profound ways. And what Meghan might contribute in the form of medical knowledge will surely impact other children who will be similarly afflicted. She is a link in some mysterious God-given chain. The service that Meghan is giving to the world cannot possibly be measured in human terms. Who knows, perhaps she is an "Enlightened One", one who agreed prior to birth to give this opportunity to those she would touch with her presence.

The greatest healing for Meghan lies as close as our intentions, as near as love.

Metaphysically, what we do affects our descendants for four generations beyond ourselves, whether ours are acts of kindness or of disrespect. In other words, what you do will affect your children, your grandchildren, your great-grandchildren and great-great-grandchildren.

When you grow more peaceful and loving, become more enlightened, you release the blocks that were set in place during your childhood. This affects your children. As they become more enlightened, their children are more purified of the things you were clearing out for your own enlightenment. As your grandchildren become more enlightened and purified it will affect their children. Imagine that - your great-great-grandchildren wil be the final link of your own enlightenment! But it takes a full seven generations before there is true purification. Yes, it takes a full seven generations down the line to carry the torch of the good we have performed - to affect true enlightenment, or destruction, by our acts of goodness of hatred.

Making the conscious choice then to be truly spiritual is essential. To be less than this and you harm the planet. You harm yourself and your descendants. There is an old Chinese saying: "When the wings of a butterfly flutter in the breeze by ocean's side, even the tallest tree in a mountain forest sways."

True spirituality is not easy, but it is quite simple: Respect and be kind to all living things. This does not mean that you lay down and become a mat for everyone to wipe his or her feet on. On the contrary.You must have strong boundaries. Metaphysical boundaries are invisible lines set by the integrity of the soul. They are different from barriers. Barriers keep everything out, including love.

Boundaries means you must live by the integrity of what is the inner you, doing what you are guided to do for the highest good of all concerned - even it if makes you unpopular.

One of the first signs I notice in people when they move into their true spirituality is a sudden concern about the planet and everything in it. They feel guided to take great care of whatever is their responsibility. This is called "human accountability", one of the most difficult aspects to master.

I have been accused of being a "tree hugger" in the past, but no longer. The results of whacking trees down in order to lay cement have changed weather patterns all over the world. San Antonio, Texas, for instance, is more humid in recent years, partly because of all the houses, streets, etc., that have replaced precious trees that once absorbed humidity. There is nowhere for the hot, sticky moisture to go now but to hang heavy in the air, clogging lungs and stimulating medical problems. Studies show that there has been a sharp increase (75%) in asthma sufferers nationwide over the past ten years. Is it because of our lack of clean air?

And what of our streams, lakes and rivers? Startingly, over 60% of them in the United States are polluted. As early as the age of six, looking upstream to observe someone in the process of throwing paint thinner in a creek, I "felt" the impact of it. In my simple child's mind I saw that if enough people did that it would have to end up "somewhere" hurting "something". It has.

We know better than to do such destructive things now, or at least I thought so until I moved to my home in Naples. There is a small stream running through my property. In it we found two sewage pipes from two different neighbors. I was horrified. This stream may be small, but it is polluted and it leads into Naples Creek not 150 yards from me, home of the annual spring trout derby. Worse still, Naples Creek creek flows directly into Canandaigua Lake, a source of public drinking water!

Brain tumors and cancers are rising at alarming rates, especially among children. One of the sneaking suspicions researchers have at this alarming situation is that our drinking water may be the silent culprit. We can only use just so many chemicals to try and counteract the pollution in the water coming from gray water (laundry and sink water), from black water (right from the john), and from pesticides and chemicals running into streams from farmlands and manufacturing plants, before serious trouble sets in. We are using chemicals to fight chemicals. It's not working with regards to our health and well-being. Serious trouble has set in.

Meghan's brain tumor may have been sitting there from birth, thought the experts at one time. But no longer. And what stimulated the growth of it? It may have been stimulated by her own changes in body chemistry as she matrues. Or, it may have been the environment triggering it. For me, this has hit too close to home with what we have been through trying to clean up the water in our own back yard. How can we take even a single chance with children's lives?

There is a wonderful lady living down the way from me who is most likely in her seventies. She tells me that when she was a little girl she used to play beside our stream. It was clean back then, she said, pristine and filled with fish, turtles and frogs. She used to wade in it for hours on end. What happened to destroy her little paradise in the last thirty, forty or even fifty years? One by one, people began to pollute it, to pass downstream god-knows-what, until it began to choke upstream as well. They thought their acts would not count. But they did. Now, one by one, perhaps we can clean it up. I know I will do my part. With the thought now in mind of Meghan and of those children who might be impacted by the clean-up of the water in generations to come - seven generations to be exact - I am even more determined.

If you think you cannot make a difference in the world you can. They say that if you were to give two people information and those two people gave two people information, and so on, that in just under three weeks everyone in the United States would have the knowledge.

We do matter.

One way or another, you can and you do make all the difference in the world.

(Due to the nature of this month's article, Kathleen will be updating it regulary with regard to her niece's progress)

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UPDATE: FEBRUARY 3 - The following is a poem Meghan wrote prior to her trip to the Mayo Clinic:

A PRAYER

My life was once perfect, as perfect as it could be.

Now my life is not so perfect, I found there is something troubling me.

So I pray to the Lord above, hoping he will give me his love,

And help to find a cure, when I am not sure.

I sit here waiting for answers to all my questions,

for all my prayers to be answered.

Oh, how I wish that I could go back to the way life used to be.

I see that THIS is the new me.

I pray to the Lord up in heaven, hoping everything will be all right

I pray to may angel in heaven

Now I KNOW everything will be all right.

*****

UPDATE: FEBRUARY 6

Megahn did well in a surgery that lasted longer than anticipated. The tumor was successfully removed. However, they found that it was not what had brought on the sudden seizures. There are other tumors surrounding her brain that are inoperable. These will be controlled chemically with medication she will have to be on for the rest of her life. They are not considered to be of a hereditary nature (from birth) but coming from another, unknown, stimulant (review article). She is responding to the nurses and is able to move her toes when asked. The family was informed that Tuesday morning, February 8, would most likely be her worst day and to expect a temporary parlysis of the left side of her body to take place. It is thought that if this takes place, six months of physical therapy should correct it. Thank you for all your e-mail and kind thoughts.

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UPDATE: FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11

Meghan came home! No paralysis - amazing. I know the prayers and ongoing Reiki (see Reiki description under index) is working. She is strong and resilient and is healing well. She is slow in reaction time due to her brain being exposed to air, say the doctors, but this will diminish with time. Along with your prayers and healing energy, thank you for all your kind thoughts, e-mail, gifts and cards you sent to her as well. My brother said they helped her tremendously. Surely Megahn will have another perspective on life now and I am anxious to learn of that as it unfolds. You see, Meghan is at a "Right of Passage," a time of change in her life. When things like this, or birth, death, divorce, etc. happen around a Right of Passage, they push one into it forcefully. They say God does not close one door without opening another - but in these cases, the person is being pulled through the keyhole!