Never Look Back

long long time ago before the wind before the snow lived
an old and aging man who lost his friend he carried by his
side all the things he had in life left all the things that
troubled him behind he was once in a desperate need for
attention and so much more living his life with the question
of conception there is no more no more feeling sorry and
no more getting mad yeah right! You got the answer
through the years he came to know sometimes its better to
let it go and never look back no matter what they said and
then the ones he learned to ignore the ones who always
asked for more secretly respect the life that he led 

My Wall

a middle class mom crouches on the hill eyes behind
binoculars she sits so still spots a boy going under the
freeway whispers in her radio going for the kill open your
eyes! You're fighting kids who only want to make their
mark everything else you took away you left them in the
dark open your eyes! Your war is not about beauty it's
about rights and choice speech isn't free it is only for those
who can afford to raise their voice say it is pollution they
say it is a sin mobilize their force to stop the demon within
they say it is not a battle it is a full scale war recruiting
volunteers like never before say it is so ugly they say it is
an eyesore but remember they're the ones who build
department stores put ads on the benches signs on the
windows asphalt where the grass used to grow 

Old Man

you tell me of a place where everybody knew their
neighbors all the families helped each other and no one
ever locked their doors you tell me no one locked their
doors old man please stay a while I know at first I seemed
too busy but now i'll make the time stay and tell me one
more story tell me about the time you ditched school to go
fishing you thought the branch would hold your neighbor
pulled you from the river he helped you wash your clothes
and stitch the hole in your trousers and your mom never
knew why he giggled when he saw you a place where no
one locks their doors a place where no one locks their
doors you tell me that you would show me only now it is too
late I would like to build community only now it is too late
things can never be the way they were before you can't go
back to how things were before once the trust is gone
once the trust is gone once the trust is gone you'll lock the
door I can imagine that life but it seems so far from real it's
just like a story that's the kind of life i've never known old
man you're leaving now taking with you things i've never
known I wonder where you're going and if it would be like
your old home I hope you find the place you're looking for 

Fade Away

keep on playing me i'm not a toy i'm different from
everyone else lies are what you believe in promises that
you'll never keep don't tell me stories of your pastime
glories they've faded away with the sun faded away i'm
flying high above the gray see it on the floor beneath my
feet can't control what's out of my hands the river looks so
deep and I don't want to swim in the muddy waters that you
offer me i'm not going to waste no more of the good life
watching you fade away hands on a watch turn like the
wheels on a train and the days turn to weeks the months
seem the same look at all the bullshit that surrounds me
plastic people different countries speak different words
they're all the same life for them is just a game I want a way
out but i'm stuck here I need an excuse to be myself again
how long will I have to wait just fading away faded away i'm
sitting in the back because it's where I belong I don't say
anything just try to get along on to the runway to catch
another plane i'm going back home to be myself again 

World's Best Dad

they tell you there were better days you can't remember
through the haze this is the only life you've ever known they
sigh and talk about fist fights when you could go to sleep at
night without avengers tearing out your wishbone you pray
to god and wonder just who's up there what kind of father
would leave his kids alone in a world where you're lucky if
your mom cares hordes of people call the streets their
home they want to take away the guns you want to get
some bigger ones your defense is up to you and you alone
they think that they can stop the heat but they don't
understand the street you don't want your girl crying on your
tombstone living in that memory don't understand what they
see so they pay cops to make it yesterday you can't push
back the hands of time you want to know and keep on
trying do your best to stay out of there way 

Co-Song

we've been hiding out forever waiting to release all our
energy that's still inside it's time to get it out get it out of me
something new I want to make this time special something
for you playing as hard as we can grind out the energy I
want to scream again so you can hear me singing through
my hands release it let it go let it go we've found away to
make up for the lost time turn it up and play it loud grind out
the energy 

Closer to Gray

clawing his way out of the doldrums getting sick and tired
of coke and rums we'll just have to wait and see because
he's jumped on the wagon before only to crawl and beg for
more his pride is just another casualty his pride is just
another casualty can you see beyond today's euphoric
state do you remember how you'll feel tomorrow all the
people that you hate all the times you've had to wait every
piece of food you ever ate reminds you of your fate he's
clawing his way out of a paper bag reaching for the life that
he never had and he's just one step away he's going
backwards on a two track he's going one step forward and
two steps back getting closer to gray in the end there's
only grieving all his goals inside pulled thin air can you
blame him if he's desperate there's nothing left for him to
get and he doesn't care that the people stare and they do
fucking stare 

Final Hours

I knew the day would come maybe this would be the one
where I would say goodbye i've tried to understand the law
of supply and demand but it does no good to wonder why I
wonder if my number is really up this time there were other
times before when I thought it was over somehow I made it
this far won't be lucky forever these could be the final hours
I wish I could say I feel more than fear and bitterness i've
given you everything I had maybe I could have gave more
all I can do is wait and see if these are my final i'm waiting
just waiting to see are these my final hours you're so afraid
of how you look and what they think of you don't you know
what really matters it's not you say it's what you do you
make me laugh when you demand respect I only give
respect when respect is due you're just a gambler
politician chairman of the board corporate suck ass
playing the odds gambling with lives that to you are no
more than numbers and statistics 

Muffled

I thought we solved this problem long ago I thought we
grew up but we still need to grow somehow it rained on our
common ground now when dig in we slip around I hear the
sarcasm in your voice think of all the times you made me
wait without thinking without trying I make that face the face
you fucking hate it's always been this way between you
and me can we ever change is this how it has to be we try
to patch things up but it's not the same we try to show
respect it's too late in the game can you take me back to
yesterday so I can say all the things I didn't say maybe
times were tough and maybe things were worse but I don't
remember it that way the times the wasted times there are
times when we seem so strong then we forget that we
don't get along some of these times are not in a bar I can't
believe that we made it this far hmmm I can't believe that
we made it this far 

Broken Bubble

so you noticed that your city changed the old familiar roads
now seem so strange can you believe that there's paint on
the walls kids are murdered in the high school halls wake
up kid and stop your whining every silver cloud has a black
lining the world hasn't changed it just broke your bubble
now you see you can't hide from trouble you were raised in
the suburbs mom and dad gave you the best the referee
has left the field and you've all alone to face this test do you
have the strength to maintain your precious values are you
in control of your own fate or will you become one of those
guys you used to hate sooner or later everyone wants the
best and your private world becomes like all the rest
nothing is worse it's just touching you for the first time you
see the world zoo it's not a question of staying alive you
don't have to fuck over others to survive the question is
what's good enough how much do you need to stop being
tough 

Dying Duck in a Thunder Storm

you heard the warnings saw the signs do you still think we
left you behind don't you remember how we tried another
place another time without reason without rhyme can you
imagine life without your pride you look up at me with those
hurt puppy dog eyes I never meant to hurt you i'm sorry that
I had to be the one to tell you that you screwed up for the
last time I know that there were times before when I said I
would be there that's when I thought the choice was mine
but now i've lived and I know better promises were never
meant to be because I couldn't see that the things you
thought you'd change you had no will to rearrange so you
made a liar out of me what else can I say i'm sorry it turned
out this way do you think we'll ever be the same it'd still call
you my friend but to you it is the end I know you think that
i'm the one to blame 

Think of Tomorrow

looking in the mirror what's left to see fragments of life all
the pieces are broken the skyways open to conquer the
moon i'm going to get there just watch me maybe
tomorrow i'll think of tomorrow inspiring words the dali
lama prays for us oppressor and friend human
understanding we can build a better world oceans of
wisdom speak out loud we'll think of tomorrow tomorrow's
children come out and play when I have a kid of my own
what will I teach him prepare him to be all alone because
someday he'll be all alone I have tried all my life to find the
answers but the only truth is what you feel inside what's
inside when will we ever get along I sit by wondering
environmental consciousness you heard it all before the
present time is our future think think of tomorrow
tomorrow's children come out and play 

Pete's Farm

baaaah, mooooo, cluck, snort, etc. 

TEN FOOT POLE:

Walkin

Let me take you to a place no one's ever seen. 
It's so far it's so far away, back in deep behind the trees.
I know that I won't fall. It's been there a hundred years. 
I know that it won't fall. Trust the limbs are here. One more
time I'm telling you. Walk where you won't fall. We're almost
there. Come on follow me, to that fotrtrss in the sky. And 
I'm going to take you there. To the place, the place that
 no one's ever seen. The moss grows on the north side of
 the trees. I know that it won't fall it's been there a
 hundred years. I know that it won't fall. Trust the limbs are
 here. Walk through the forrest at night.


Tunnel's End

Yeah I 've heard that before but not someone as close as you.
I've tried to stay clear of the hate that surrounds us. It hurts
my ears. And I can't say you have no right to feel that way, all
burned up inside. But I can try to change your mind. Listen to me
or should I say goodbye??? Fear & resentment.
And you should see the face you wear. I wouldn't be here if you
didn't care. You're the same as the people around us. I feel your
pain. And I can't say you have no right to feel that way, all burned
up inside. But I can help you to find the things you need, the ties
that bind. Everytime I hear that sound of that little sigh that
brings me down inside, I cry 'cause I don't know why I can't make
you happy. Yourself's a prisoner of lifes injustice. All
that baggage is slowing you down. 
And I've heard that word before but
not from someone as close as you. I tried to
stay clear of the hate that surrounds us, it hurts my ears. 


Gnarly Charlie

By the time you hear this song it'll be over. Narlie Charlie's back
again. He's wearing a goatee. Doesn't look the way he did five years 
before on the streets again and knocking on my door. Only come out at 
night when the lights are out and no one's around. The streets are 
his to take. It's uncle Charlie's first playground. Don't you know he 
will find you in your sleep and rip through rip through you. Why don't 
you leave me alone. Why don't you stay away from me. He doesn't value 
time on the outside. Hes' just looking in on top of the world. Today 
see  Charlie's coming back again. I can see why he doesn't make it 
in the world us who really care. Why don't you leave me alone why 
don't you stay away from me . Charlie's back again.

Fiction

Life's so unfair, you thought
then turned on your TV
Life's so unfair you sobbed
then picked up the keys
You lock your castle door behind you 
to go for a ride
Your shiny car roars as you think 
of what you've been denied
No one understands your mind no one ever tried 
No one has a clue of what you are inside

And I lie
but I believe myself
and the truth hurts more than anything else

Drowning in self pity killing time
It helps me to write the words
to think about the grime
And if you piss me off
please don't apologize
My anger drives conviction as I proclaim these silly lies 
If you don't believe me
just read between the lines
No one has a clue of what's behind these eyes 
And I lie


John

John takes a seat so he can wind his watch 
Not working anymore but it's so good to touch

It's the only solid evidence of what he's done and seen 
It helps him to remember his past life was not a dream 
It used to tell the time when he was young
but time means nothing now 
he has a clear view of the sun

John stopped me on the street today 
he didn't have that much to say
I said I had to get to work but he begged me to stay

There was a look in his eyes I'd never seen before
I couldn't walk away I knew I wouldn't see him anymore 
He bummed a smoke looked off into space awhile 
then he looked into my eyes and unleashed a fleeting
smile

Dennis it's so good to see you
you have no idea
just how bad it's getting on the street 
I try to hide away
but they find me every day
And I'm so tired of the heat

Yesterday I heard the news
they sent me a letter
said it was suicide 
but I know better

It's Not Me

You took my closest friends
split my family
I gave up everything I had
except your memory but I know
Someone will hold your hand tonight
You won't remember me tonight
I wish I could forget so easily
Someone will hold your hand tonight
Someone will sleep right by your side 
All I know is it's not me

I miss your piercing glare
I miss your fearless touch
all the little things 
I never thought would mean so much
And after all this time
I thought we would forgive
I guess there is no turning back 
you have your life to live

I'm here all by myself 
remembering that you once said that
you would always be here "wait and see" 
Someone will hold your hand tonight
you won't remember me tonight
I wish I could forget so easily
Someone could hold your hand tonight 
someone could sleep right by your side 
All I know is it's not me


Denial

It's funny how a little truth can put things in perspective 
usually I try to hide from all of life's unpleasantries 
like corruption, lies and users
try to ignore all the abusers 
but sometimes truth just slaps me in the face

And I can't hide
try to deny deception but now I see the other side 
I can't hide 
try to regain my innocence but something's changed inside

Funny how perceptions change when you know secret
history 
suddenly you see right past the thin veil of diplomacy 
like the smiles that invite glare at you 
like they're filled with spite
the warm handshakes just seem so out of place 
And I can't hide

Every person has a dark side please don't show me yours 
I don't really think I want to know you can't be trusted 
they say the truth will set you free 
but they don't say how deep the cut will be 
trust dies and paranoia takes its place
And I can't hide

What You Want

Is there something you should tell me? 
Is there something I should know?
I guess I thought that you were happy 
but your eyes tell me. . . 

Was the attention all that you needed? 
Did we miss your silent cries? 
Is it too late to try?
Who do you want to see? 
Who did you want to be?
Is it too late? 
Can you tell me what you want?
Can you tell me what you need?
I can't read your mind 
but would I understand if I could?
I can't tell you what you want
I can't tell you what you need
I can't read your mind 
but would I understand if I could?

I see something in your eyes
exactly what I can't tell
and I'm still listening
exactly why I don't know

Can you feel it? 
Can you find it?
Well I can't take it 
and I can't fake it anymore

Daddy

Sorry I just had to call
don't want to wear you out on me 
but I need someone to listen 
you don't even have to speak 
Sorry to make such a fuss
I know these things will happen now and then 
if you bear with me 
I promise this will never happen again 
not again, never again...

Daddy won't hurt me
This time it was all my fault
I'll be a good girl
and he won't have to get so mad
He does so much for me
I know he loves me deep inside
From now on I'll be so good
I will never hurt his pride 
I guess I got what I deserved
and it does no good to cry
From now on I'll be good
This time I will really try

Thank you I'm so happy now
How was your day?
I'd really like to see you soon
When will you be out this way?
I'm so glad that you were home
gave me a chance to think it through 
Let's not mention this again.
The only one I ever told was you.
Only you...

Damage

She was working all her life for justice in this world 
but every time she made some gains 
someone would kick her down again
then damage takes its toll
the rising the falling the rising the falling 
can you get back up again?
it's easier to tear apart than build 
damage has momentum of its own
it takes less time to break things down 
than to wait around until they're grown

She was looking all her life for a mate that understood 
but every time she gave her heart
she ended up scarred and alone
then damage takes its toll
the rising the falling the rising the falling 
can you get back up again?
it's easier to tear apart than build 
damage has momentum of its own
it takes less time to break things down 
than to wait around until they're grown

Too Late

When she first apologized it seemed that no one cared 
no one cared about her shame
no one cared about her pain
and she could not accept that no one gave her time 
she said "they will watch me 
yes by God I'll make them see"

My God, I can't believe you're gone
it's too late to say "hang on"
sometimes you just have to wait
this time it's just too late

She keeps apologizing every single night 
every night she wrings her hands 
every night that's where she stands
and I cannot accept that I could have changed her fate 
if I only would have known

My friends keep telling me that it will be all right 
but they don't know the cost
no they don't know what I've lost
they keep on talking but to me there's nothing left 
there is nothing you can say

Excuses

It was the alcohol you said
took away your common sense
you don't remember a thing
unconsciousness is your defense

it's everybody's fault but yours 
and now we must forgive
how can we hold a grudge?
when you can't remember what you did but

it's not so easy to forgive 
no matter what you say
it's not so easy to forget 
it won't just go away
it will never be the same

You'll never drink that much again
those intentions sound just great
and while I'm glad to see you've learned 
I think it's just a little too late
it's everybody's fault but yours 
and now we must forgive
how can we hold a grudge?
when you can't remember what you did 


Pride and Shame

Is there something more I just can't see?
I've been so busy trying every day to make ends meet 
been such a long time
since I stopped to smell the coffee 
now I wonder can I tell the forest from the trees?

I know that I feel pride and I know that I fear shame 
I know I want you to smile when you hear my name 
seems like a silly game
but I know I play it harder than anything

I feel alone
there's people everywhere
some of these people even care
once in a while you find someone who really cares 
but I'm too busy to give them what they need
it's not greed it's the fear of failure 
it keeps me going
but when tomorrow comes there's always something more 
and I can't stop working long enough 
to wonder what life's for
what is it for?
am I just a whore?
who am I working for?

Regret

you heard It's no use trying to make sense it doesn't matter
anyway 
There's no one worth the pain no reason left to stay
I try to turn it off where did the old me go? 
How did I get so far away? I just don't know

Every act of kindness boils down to lust or greed 
No one acts from altruism it all comes down to need 
There's a monster inside my heart
He tries to tear my world apart
There's a demon inside my head
Tells me I'd be better off dead

I try to turn it off get back to positive
Don't want to drag you down to the street where I live 
I try to turn it off get back to happy days
Pull this barrel from my mouth and look for better ways 
Every act...

Everything you never tried 
Every time you might have lied
Every flaw you tried to hide
Every drop you ever cried
Every time you've been denied
Every tear that ever dried 
Everything builds up inside in waves of regret miles wide

Hey Pete

"Hey Pete" she said "it's not too late 
I still think that you're just great 
you need to wait in the right place 
where you'll meet a girl with good taste" 
"Aw, ma don't you think I tried? 
I think there's something wrong inside 
I have no problem making friends 
but that's where the story ends"
I have no problem hanging out 
then I see a glimpse of doubt 
and I don't understand 
what makes them not like me?
I'm just trying to be myself
but it's so far from everyone else
and I don't understand what makes them not like me

"Hey Pete I see from what you said 
that the problem's all in your head 
and if you want to make a change 
you must let go of being strange."
"Yeah mom the problem's in my brain 
sometimes I really think I'm insane 
it goes much deeper than the beard 
deep down inside me I'm just weird

I have no problem hanging out...
maybe I'm just weird

"You're not weird Pete you're just fine 
and I'm proud to say you're mine
regardless of the strange things you've done 
I'm so glad that you're my son
I really think from what you said 
that the problem's all in your head 
and if you want to make a change 
you must let go of being strange"


A.D.D.

Mommy what does hyper mean?
Teacher says I'll never read
She says I need to take a pill
so I can learn to sit real still

the microwaves did something to our brains 
we need to take these pills to help us change

Please let me take them I don't want to be an idiot 
Ritalin will make me smart 
at least that's what my teacher said
All the other kids take them, I think I am the only one 
I need something to slow me down 
I talk too much cuz I am dumb

Mommy what's a deficit?
I think it means that I can't sit
Disorder of attention
and I don't learn the lesson

Mommy please help me see the light
Don't you know my teacher's always right? 
Joey's starting on week 4
he's not in trouble any more
Susie's ending up week 9
Now she's never out of line

Please let me take them I don't want to be an idiot 
Now Mommy takes my Ritalin 
there's not enough for me she said
All the other moms take them, I think it's not just mine
I don't know if she's smarter now but at least she's feeling
fine