Subject: RP: A TSU Mary Sue By O. Monteith PG A TSU Serial From: chapman@dixie-net.com Date: 1998/03/24 Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative Okay folks it doesn't get good till the end so please read the whole thing before you give up on it. The Star Trek stuff belongs to Paramount, but Jen owns TSU, and I own this story. Any questions? Good, now on with the story. Jen sat in a chair at the end of the row in the lecture hall, looking around impatiently and glancing at her watch irritably. "She's late," she kept grumbling between telling several gorgeous woman that the seat next to her was taken. Finally a short round woman with red hair and green eyes and a black sweat shirt that reads 'Four out of five voices in my head say 'Eat the chocolate' comes in and flops into the chair that her friend has so diligently been protecting. Without so much as saying 'Hi' Jens turns on her and starts ranting, "You're late. How could you leave me sitting in here with these people?" Olivia looks nonplussed and thoroughly unsympathetic as she glances around the hall. With the exception of these two, everyone here is thin, tall, beautiful, in short perfect. "What, did somebody say something to set you off again?" She asked, leaning back in her chair, propping her feet on the back of the seat in front of her and leaning her head back, looking as if she is getting ready for a nap. "Are you kidding? Not in this crowd. Everybody has to like them, so of course you can't get mad at them. I just don't like being the sore thumb in the bunch. You know the only one that's not perfect." Olivia turns her head slightly, and glares at Jen through one half closed eye. "Glad to know that you feel better not to be the only ogre in the room." Jen gave Olivia a crooked smile and said, "You know what they say, if you want to look good hang out with ugly people." "Bitch," Olivia mumbled. "Actually, I have heard that, that's why I hang out with you too." "Well, now we're even. So what time is this lecture supposed to start? I thought she was supposed to be here ten minutes ago." "I just want to get it over with, if this wasn't a course everyone had to do, I wouldn't even be here. God, I hate those stories," Olivia groused with a shudder. Another glance around the room and she continued, "So, how many of these have written at least one?" Jen scanned the sea of classic noses and blue eyes, mostly young women, but occasionally a man. "Oh, probably all of them. I bet that everyone of them has a mirror on them somewhere." She looked back at her companion to catch her quickly trying to wipe a smirk off of her face. "What?" she demanded. "Nothing. Just thinking about a story you wrote a while back." Jen's eyes flashed with irritation once more, as she snapped, "That was not. It was my first attempt at fan fiction and I just thought that adding a character would help the plot." "You mean be the plot," Olivia snickered. "Shut up. And I still don't think it qualifies as one of those stories." "For God's sake, she had the same name as you." "So? Whatever, I thought you weren't gonna' talk about that anymore. Besides, I NEVER even posted it!" "Sorry, it just seemed like the appropriate time." Just then a breathtakingly beautiful woman with auburn hair, dark green eyes, dressed in a very fashionable green pantsuit, came into the room by way of the door at the front. "Good morning, class. I'm Professor Mary Sue and I'll be teaching this course this semester. In the next few weeks you'll learn how to create a flattering surrogate character, how to make that character sound intelligent, how to write an over done romantic relationship between your character and a canon character who you find attractive. Then we will advance on to projecting yourself into canon characters, writing yourself as someone of the opposite sex, slash and hetsmut surrogacies, and finally we will explore ways to get you out of you self involved fantasy world and into real writing. As you all know, this is a requirement. Everyone has to write at least one Mary Sue in their writing career, this course is designed to basically get that urge out of your system and get you over yourself. Any questions?" Olivia, who is a bit shocked, raises her hand, and clears her throat to get the willowy woman's attention. "Uhm, Professor Sue? I was wondering,... well, I couldn't help but notice... you and I have some similar traits, do you look the same to everyone?" "That's a very good question, I'm glad we're off to such a promising start." Olivia blushes, pleased to have impressed the professor. She is rewarded by a rude punch in the ribs from her neighbor. "Suck up," Jen snorts loudly. "Shut up." Olivia retorts. Professor Sue fails to notice the exchange between the friends, and continues, "No, class, my appearance and demeanor, my manner of speech, even my sexual preference changes according to who is writing the story. For example, at this moment I have dark red hair, emerald green eyes, even though I haven't had a chance to show it, I have a short temper, a cultured southern accent, I am well read and I have a weakness for wise cracking holographic doctors, loner Changeling security chiefs, exiled Cardassian spies, exotic looking, naive human doctors, and yellow eyed androids. If someone else were writing this, I might not only appear different, but I might even be a different species, or even gender and have a very different opinion on what my type is." Olivia is scribbling furiously in her notebook as Jen looks on in intense amusement. When Olivia finally looks up, she see her friend's expression. "What? We all have to do this course, I might as well try to do it in an amusing way. Besides you wanted me to do a TSU bit, I just thought I'd kill two birds with one stone. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to meet Constable Odo, Doctor Bashir and Garak for lunch in the cafeteria. After that Odo and I are going for drinks, then I have to save the station single handedly, say a tearful goodbye to Odo, who is my lover, drop a hint or two at Kira, and then lock Garak and Julian in the back of Garak's shop until they admit their feelings. After that I'm off to my new assignment on the Enterprise as Data's personal assistant. I'll call you tonight after I'm done and tell you how it all went. 'Bye." In a whirl of red hair dye, Olivia is gone, leaving Jen sitting by herself, chuckling evilly and saying, "Oh this is going to be fun."