Disclaimers: Evreything belongs to the all mighty Paramount, I own
nothing and am not making any profit from this, but doesn't mean I can't
have any fun with the characters since TPTB  don't seem to be able to treat
them right. This is rated N-17 for a sexual relationship between two male
characters (G/B) so if this isn't your cup of Tarkalean, then you have
been warned. 

Spoilers: No spoilers as of yet, but since it's been rumored that Colm
Meaney may be leaving the show...well, here's my take on that rumor.

Summary: When O'Brien is killed, there is only one person Julian Bashir
can turn to for comfort.


                          Sorrowful Opportunity
                           By: Diana Bloomfield
                       (c) 1997 dcb12313@soltec.com


        DS9's tailor Elim Garak was sitting on the Promenade surrounded by
colleagues and coworkers that he had come to know over the years during his
exile. Major Kira, Odo, Commander Dax and Worf - everyone the tailor was
familiar with had come together on this somber day. Currently all eyes were
on Captain Benjamin Sisko as his deep baritone voice filled the crowded
room. 
        "A Starfleet Captain has many duties he is to fulfill, as a
Captain, I must say that this is one of the saddest of such duties. We
are here to honor the passing of Chief Engineer Miles Edward O'Brien. He
was one of the best officers I have ever had the privilege to have served
under my command. His bravery and ingenuity is to be commended and his
sacrifice against the Dominion shall never be forgotten....."
        Garak inadvertently tuned the Captain's speech out as his
concentration turned towards the man sitting next to him. Doctor Julian
Bashir was starring strait ahead and seemed to be paying earnest
attention to Sisko's eulogy with a nearly expressionless impassive look on
his face, but the Cardassian tailor knew his friend well enough that he
could read the storm of emotions within the doctor's eyes. O'Brien's death
had come as a shock to everyone that had know him - much like the
Dominion's surprise attack that had taken his life. Anyone could have
easily become the victim of the Jem Had'dar when they had beamed aboard,
but it had been the Chief of Engineering, one of Julian's closest
friends, that had become victimized by the war. Everyone had grieved for
the man who left a wife and two small children behind - giving Keiko
their condolences and offers to help in any way possible. Garak had
noticed that in all this time Julian had become reserved, quiet, and
seemed to pull into himself. Several people, including Dax and Sisko,
gave condolences to Julian as well because they knew how close the doctor
and the engineer had been - nearly the best of friends. Their friendship
had been a rocky one at the start, neither knowing how to take each other,
but slowly Julian had won over Miles' respect and friendship and it had
grown to become unshakable during the last years of the engineer's life.
Now as the tailor looked at the doctor, he knew that the younger man was
locked inside his own grief and didn't know how to go about breaking
through the emotional barriers Julian had surrounded himself with.
        After the memorial service was over, everyone went to Quark's to
try and celebrate. O'Brien had wanted an old fashion Irish Wake when he
died and that included music, food, drink, and trying to be of good
cheer. Everyone attempted this out of respect for the Chief, but no one's
heart was truly in it. Garak noticed that Bashir had stayed only long
enough to talk a few minutes to Keiko before making his way out the door
towards the habitat-ring. After several minutes passed, Garak discreetly
excused himself and headed in the same direction. Coming to stand in
front of Julian's quarters, Garak sounded the chime.
        "Who is it?" he heard the doctor ask.
        "It's me, Garak. May I come in?" he asked in return.
        There was a brief pause before the door finally opened to allow
him access. The doctor was lying on the sofa in his living area. Hearing the
Cardassian approach, he pulled himself into a sitting position. Garak was
caught a little off guard at Julian's appearance. His eyes were bloodshot
as if from holding back tears, and his normally handsome face seemed
weathered and aged...leaving his young friend looking anything but. 
        "What can I do for you Garak?" Julian asked wearily. 
        "Nothing," the tailor replied. "I just thought you might like to
talk to someone. I know that the Chief's death must be extremely
difficult for you."
        Julian squeezed his eyes shut and when he opened them again, there
was such pain reflected in the depths of his hazel eyes that Garak had to
fight the urge to reach out and gather him to him, wanting to banish that
look for good. Garak had resigned years ago to keep their flirting and
bantering as nothing more than that because of not wanting to jeopardize
their precious friendship, but at times, it was extremely difficult not to
show the doctor the extent of his caring for him. This was one of those
times. It took him a moment to force those thoughts out of his mind far
enough to realize Julian still hadn't said anything, he was just staring
at the Cardassian with an odd expression on his face. "Julian?" Garak
questioned in a soft voice.
        The tone of Garak's voice seemed to have broke through the
doctor's thoughts. "Do you know what I am Garak?" Julian finally
asked.
        "What?" Garak asked, puzzled by the strange question.
        "I'm nothing more than a hypocrite," Julian replied. 
        Garak walked over to the sofa and took a seat close to Julian.
"Why would you say that Doctor? I've known you quite awhile and have
become aware of your many traits, but being a hypocrite has never been one
of them."
        Julian sighed deeply, "I'm a hypocrite because I called myself
Miles' friend."
        "I thought you and the Chief were very close," Garak replied,
still not knowing what the doctor was talking about.
        "I was no true friend to Miles. How could I be with what I've been
feeling lately?" Julian asked, he got up and started walking around the
room. "Gods, you don't know how guilty I've been feeling! I tried to
repair the damage the phaser had done to him, but it just wasn't any
use."
        "I'm sure you did your best to save him," Garak replied knowing
without doubt that was the case.
        Julian went on without seeming to hear him. "I just can't believe
it. I'm suppose to be one of his best friends and..."his stopped short of
saying whatever he was going to. "Then having to talk to Keiko, wanting
to tell her how sorry I was, but not really able to mean it...thinking
about poor Molly and Kiraoshi. I'm almost like an uncle to them, but if
they only realized..." Julian's voice was becoming more distraught as his
pace around the room quickened. Garak, unable to stand it any longer got
up and came to stand directly in front of the doctor's path, startling
him slightly- nearly forgetting the tailor's presence. Garak had to grasp
his shoulders to keep him from colliding with him. 
        "Doctor, Julian, why were you feeling guilty?" the Cardassian
asked.
        "What?" Julian asked with an almost dazed look in his eyes.
        "A minute ago you said you had felt guilty. Why?" he asked again.
Julian remained silent then tried half-heartedly to brake Garak's grip.
"Doctor, maybe it would help to talk about it." Julian hung his head in
shame. The tailor shook him by his shoulders to get him to meet his
eyes. "Talk to me," he implored in a hushed voice.
        "Dammit Garak, how on Earth do I live with myself knowing that as
Miles laid on that operating table, all I could think of was thanking
God that it wasn't you!" Julian nearly yelled. 
        Garak blinked at him, "Excuse me?"
        Julian let out a long frustrated sigh and tried desperately not to
look embarrassed at what he just admitted. "Garak, while I was operating
on Miles, fighting for his life, all I could think of was that I was glad
it wasn't you that had been hit by that Jem Had'dar. I realized that I
could face loosing anyone else important to me, Dax, Kira...anyone but
you," the doctor admitted quietly. "The thought of having something
happen to you that was out of my control to repair scared me to death. I
had realized it when I removed that neural implant and tried to put it out
of my mind, but Miles' death brought it all rushing back."
        Garak didn't want to allow himself any false hope in misreading
the meaning he felt was masked in Julian's words. "Doctor, your
friendship is something I cherish more than nearly anything else as
well, but it wouldn't make your friendship with Miles any less meaningful."
        Julian gave him a nearly sarcastic smile. "You still don't get
it...after all this time you still don't get it do you?" he asked sadly
shaking his head. "We're talking about more than simple friendship
Garak," Julian replied and looked into the crystal blue depths of the
tailor's eyes. "I love you."
        Garak starred at him in disbelief. Had he just heard the doctor
correctly? Did he actually just admit to being in love with him? As Garak
thoughts stumbled over one another, trying to make sense out of
everything, Julian pulled free from his grasp and started pacing again.
        "This is just fantastic," he mumbled to himself. "I've just
managed to make a complete fool out of myself and ruined our friendship on
top of it. When will I ever learn to keep my stupid, big mouth shut?"
Sighing loudly, he came rest in front of the viewport.
        Garak walked the distance separating them and placed his hands on
the doctor's shoulders. "Julian, believe me, you haven't ruined
anything," he whispered into Julian's ear. He turned Julian around to
face him. "You might find this hard to believe, but I feel the same way
about you." 
        "You do?" Julian asked disbelievingly, his hazel eyes searched the
those of the tailor's.
        Garak smiled and nodded. "I have for nearly the entire time I've
known you. I never pursued it because you always had someone else you
were interested in. I simply didn't think I stood much of a chance
attracting your attentions when there were so many lovely ladies that
wanted you to notice them."
        "The only reason I ever paid them any notice at all was because I
was trying to distract myself from dwelling on you. Our friendship meant
more to me than acting recklessly and putting it at risk," Julian replied.
        "That's exactly the same reason why I put myself through the
torture of reading all of those horrid novels you gave me . Having
something to discuss was the only way I made it through all those lunches
together without letting on how I felt," Garak replied. "Not to mention I
felt if I didn't, you'd get bored with spending time with me and choose
someone else to share your company with." the tailor replied.
        "I simply don't believe this!" Julian replied in amazement.
        "Then let me prove it to you," Garak whispered, his lips coming
within a hare's breath of Julian's. Closing the distance, Garak's lips
brushed against Julian's softly, so gentle that it almost couldn't be
felt. They pulled back and looked at each other for a scant moment before
Julian bent forward to taste the Cardassian's lips again. The kiss was
much firmer and sure as the tailor opened his mouth to the doctor's
probing tongue. 
        Julian's hands reached behind the Cardassian to stroke his broad
back, pulling him in closer into the kiss. Garak's hands roamed up over
Julian's back to cup the nape of his neck, his thumbs gently massaging
the skin, causing a shiver to run through the doctor's body. Julian held
the tailor close enough to him that he could feel the older man's growing
firmness.        
        Julian pulled away as the tears began to flow.  "It's not right to
feel like this.  Miles is dead, I should be grieving for him instead of
feeling..." his voice trailed off.
        "Feeling what, Julian?"  Garak asked softly as he pulled the
doctor back into his arms, gently caressing the younger man's back.
        Julian rested his head on the tailor's broad shoulder.  "I-I-I'm 
happy, I'm sad. I want to laugh, I want to cry.  Garak, I just don't know
what I'm feeling, it's all so confusing."
        "My dear, sweet Julian, do you believe that you are not
grieving?   How is it that you think other people grieve?  Do you think
that Commanders Dax and Worf aren't glad that it wasn't one of them?  That
they do not lie in each others arms with that gratitude?  Or that the
Captain and his son are not equally satisfied that it was not one of
them?  What if it had been you instead? Would not Keiko offer to comfort
her husband in his grief?  No, my love, yours is a very deeply felt
grief.  Allow me to ease it for you.  Allow me to love you as I have
desired for so many years." 
        Julian looked up at Garak's face, his eyes searching,
seeking....   When he spoke it was barely a whisper as the truth
overwhelmed him, "You do love me." 
        In response Garak, tenderly wiped the tear-stained face of his 
beloved doctor.  Then effortlessly lifting the young man, Garak carried
him towards the bedroom. The doctor was laid upon his bed as the
Cardassian joined him to lay at his side. Tentative fingers brushed against
the warm skin of the doctor's cheek as the older man bent down to
recapture his lips. They simply laid side by side tasting each other at
first, kissing deeply as they explored the unique flavor of the 
other. Garak's hand lightly played across the length of the doctor's body,
making long strokes from his shoulders, down his side and hips and back
up again in an unhurried manner. Julian's own hands were caressing the
tailor's broad chest, feeling the nipples hidden under the heavy tunic
tighten at the fleeting touch. Garak stopped his caresses to sit up and
remove the tunic that kept the doctor's touch at bay. Tossing it on the
floor, Garak watched as Julian reached for the concealed zipper on his own
clothing. The doctor started to pull it down slowly before Garak reached
for the opening and pulled the uniform away from him, exposing the caramel
hued skin underneath. He helped the doctor free himself from the
troublesome material and it was tossed to join Garak's tunic on the
floor - leaving the younger man in only his briefs, which hid nothing of
his awakened arousal that was straining against the thin fabric. Garak
stood from the bed to rid himself of the rest of his clothing that was
also becoming extremely uncomfortable. Julian's gaze journeyed over
tailor's body and admired his exquisite physic,  taking in the broad, smooth
chest, the flat muscular stomach, firm muscular legs and felt a growing
warmth of anticipation spread through him at the thought of the tailor's
body under his touch.
        Garak laid down beside Julian again and gently urged Julian
onto his back. As the tailor's hand roamed over Julian's chest and
his washboard stomach, Garak bent his head to slowly run his tongue
over one coffee colored nipple, teasing it to puckered hardness
before gently nipping at it with his teeth. A moan broke free from
Julian as his hands came to caress cooled flesh of Garak's back, his
nails slightly scraping as Garak pulled away and covered the other
nipple. The tailor moved himself on top of the doctor, his firm member
pressed insistantly against the responding firmness of Julian's. His hips
rubbed against Julian's, pressing harder and harder. The thin fabric that
remained on Julian was no barrier to the heat he was feeling coming from
the Cardassian. Garak's lips traveled over Julian's throat and neck,
finding the sensitive spot in the hollow of his shoulder and neck that
made Julian groan softly. Julian's own hands came down to cup the tailor's
firm rear end as he tried pulling him even more firmly down on him, his
arousal growing stronger at feeling the Cardassian's pressed against him. 
Garak's tongue trailed upwards behind Julian's ear, kissing and licking he
went, murmmering something Julian didn't quite catch.  Garak's hand came
in-between them and mastered fingers came to gently stroke the
doctor's throbbing member. Both of their breathing was erratic, and Julian
could feel the beating of his heart pounding in his ears as he looked into
the tailor's eyes to see the same desire and want he was feeling mirrored
the icy blue depths looking back at him.
        Garak sat up, leaving the doctor chilled from the missing contact, 
and Julian pulled the remaining clothing off to add to the pile. Garak
returned quickly to cover the younger man's chest and stomach with light
kisses and licks, as his hands caressed Julian's legs and thighs. Lower
and lower Garak dared, until his hands and warm lips met at the center of
Julian's sex. Julian's eyes closed as the tailor ran his tongue up the
shaft from the base to tip, licking and tasting the pearly moisture
pooled at the head, before taking the entire length into his warm, wet
mouth. Julian's fingers tangled in the soft dark mass of ebony hair as
Garak drew him into the recesses of his mouth, teasing him with his
tongue as he gently sucked on the heated flesh before releasing him, only
to take him in again, over and over. Gradually the sucking became firmer
and Julian found himself rocking his hips back and forth in time to the
pace Garak set. Garak's hand came up gently massage Julian's tightening
testicles. Julian was writhing against the bedcovers and the tailor knew
that he was bringing the doctor closer and closer to the edge. It pleased
him endlessly to know that he was giving the doctor such pleasure, but he
wasn't quite ready to have it approach the end just yet. Pulling away
from the doctor, he looked down into a pair of hazy, desire filled umber
eyes.
        "Is something wrong?" Julian asked in a breathless voice.
        "Not in the least love," Garak reassure him in a scratchy
voice, "I just need to feel you inside me," the tailor replied.
        "Are you sure?" Julian asked, uncertainty shown in his eyes.
        Garak smiled at him, "I've never been more sure of anything," he
whispered. 
        Julian rolled over on his side and reached over to the night
stand near the bed and rummaged through the drawer until he found what he
was searching for. The doctor found a vial of massage oil that he had
replicated several month ago for a woman whose face he could not seem to
recall at the moment, let alone remember her name. That was insignificant
compared to the caring man currently laying in front of him, a man who
more than anything, he longed to be able to return at least a part of the
pleasure that he had shared with him - to show him without the tangles of
language how deeply he cared for him. 
        Taking the top off the bottle, Julian poured a healthy amount
into his palm and spread it over the aching firmness at his groin. After
it was coated thoroughly, he poured another amount over his fingers and
brought them to the Cardassian's crevice. Garak softly moaned in
anticipation as one slender finger worked it's way past the muscular
entrance to coat the heated channel. The single digit was replaced by
two as the doctor tenderly stretched him with patience. Garak couldn't
keep himself from pressing against the fingers and groaned as they brushed
against his prostrate.
        "Gul, Julian. I need you now!" he whispered loudly, and started to
roll over before Julian's touch halted him.
        "I want to watch your eyes while I'm inside of you," Julian
explained in a hushed voice. The mere sound of his softly accentuated voice
sent a rush of excitement coursing through the tailor. Garak brought his
legs up to wrap around Julian's waist. Julian pressed the tip of his
solid erection against the tailor's entrance.
        "Are you ready?" Julian whispered seductively.
        "Yes," the tailor moaned, reaching for the doctor.
        With one movement of his hips, Julian entered the Cardassian's
body. Closing his eyes, he had to still himself to get accustomed to the
tight, warm, depth that encompassed him, beckoning to draw him in deeper and
deeper. Garak took in a sharp breath and reached for Julian's hips as he
gradually started to rock back and forth gently - moving with
painstaking slowness until he was completely embedded in the tailor. He
was still long enough to allow Garak the chance to get accustomed to the
feel of him. When he felt the Cardassian's muscles relax and slacken
under his hands, the doctor slowly started moving inside of him. He only
pulled himself back and forth a little at first, but as Garak started
pressing himself upwards towards him with purpose, Julian began to move
quicker himself and pulled himself nearly all the way out before filling
the Cardassian again. Garak's fingers dug into the flesh of Julian's rear
as his hips rose to meet every thrusting movement in time. The pace was
turning more urgent as they both demanded and took all that the other could
give. Julian kissed Garak hard as his hand came down to grasp the tailor's
aching member. Gentle fingers stroked the tailor in time to the thrusts
that filled him, taking him closer and closer to the abyss. Julian could
read the desire in the tailor's eyes, could feel the growing tautness of
his muscles, could hear the soft moaning radiating from him, and knew it
wasn't going to be long for either of them. 
        "Elim, you're mine from now on, no one else's...ever. Promise me
that," Julian whispered against Garak's ear, continuing to thrust into
him as deeply as he could, his hand still tightly clasped around the
tailor's sex urging him onward and upward to the peak they were racing
towards together.
        "Never anyone else's, just like you belong to me Julian," Garak

whispered in a promise before another moan overtook him and he reached
behind Julian's head to pull his hungry lips down on his. Garak's body
grew taunt under Julian and the doctor felt a tremble run through the
tailor seconds before he moaned Julian's name loudly as he came, covering
the doctor's fingers with warm, pearly, liquid. Hearing his name so
passionately moaned out and feeling the tailor's body contract around him
was enough to send him spiraling forward past the pinnacle towards his
own orgasm. Waves of pleasure capped and crashed over him and he
couldn't help calling Garak's name as his own warm, viscous seed filled
the tailor's body.
        When Julian's racing heartbeat finally slowed, and his breathing
returned to nearly normal, he reluctantly broke the connection they had
forged and pulled himself from the older man's body. Both felt a slight
loss at the lack of contact, and Garak gathered the doctor close to him
and held him tightly. 
        As Julian laid his head on Garak's chest and let his eyes flutter
shut, he thought how the night had been so bittersweet. The tailor had come
to comfort him in his grief and how doing so had led to a discovery of
shared feelings. It seemed strange to him that it took such a tragic event
to make them see how much they cared for each other and he couldn't help
feeling melancholy and grateful at the same time. Julian knew Miles was
gone and he had lost a wonderful friendship, but with the passing of a
cherished friendship that he was unlikely to forget, there had been an
even greater gift bestowed upon him by the loving man wrapped in his
arms. The doctor wondered mildly what Miles O'Brien would say to him if he
knew about the events that had taken place. A small smile played on
Julian's mouth as an image of the engineer floated into his mind's eye.
The Chief's warm eyes sparkled with mischief and a friendly smile lit up
his face and just before the doctor drifted into sleep, Julian could have
sworn he heard O'Brien say "About bloody time!" 

The End