This story is a work of colorful and slashy fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents have been long-standing slaves of Paramount Pictures. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is probably because the author has written too many of these already. Forgive her. STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE is a Registered Trademark ® of Paramount Pictures. Copyright (c) 1996 by Paramount Pictures. All Rights Reserved. No infringement was meant. Well, not consciously anyway. TITLE: PAWNS AUTHOR: BGM RATING: NC-17 PAIRING: Garak/Bashir --------------------------------------------------------- "Sometimes we turn a corner of our lives and everything changes. A stranger is standing there -- in sun or shadow, it doesn't matter. He is there for us. He moves the pieces of the board when we're not looking, wipes tears from our eyes when we thaught we were laughing and places them on our tongue so we'll recognise the taste, wince at the saltiness." -- Exerpt from BONDAGE by Patti Davis This story is loosely based on some parts of said story. It's a fabulous book, and I encourage it immensely. PAWNS by Sophie Masse It doesn't matter where you turn, what direction you point to, he's always there. Watching, staring, feigning studied innocence when you regard him with the faintest bit of suspicion. He calculates the delicate mechanisms of life with a surgeon's eye; has seen its faults and glories often enough to know its pattern; random to us, transparent before his veteran eyes. And he hides it all, this keen knowing of psychology and life ... confines it to the limitations of his own mind, allows us a peek only when it suits a purpose, or a necessity. And then the suspicion grows ... swells into an obsession so strong, simple basics of life are forgotten or ignored in the hungry pursuit of truth. The ultimate truth, to the young innocent's eyes it has become in any case; the truth behind his best friend. Julian Bashir regarded his friend across the lunch table, one eyebrow raised, pouting lips curved in a skeptical line. "I can't really picture that Garak ..." "Oh it's all very true my friend," the Cardassian said merrily, chewing enthusiastically on a slice of taspar egg. The young doctor shook his head. The truth behind Elim Garak's past was one thing; the truth behind his weekly anecdotes was entirely another. Or was it? Did they serve as bread crumbs for the Cardassian? Crumbs with which he scattered the very table they sat at, spelling out the ultimate truth? "So tell me my friend," Garak pursuied. "Are you attending the Sklerruu Festival?" Bashir was drawn out of his personal inquiries by the odd name. "Sklerruu?" "Why yes," his companion cheered, cleaning his plate with a piece of lotaa bread. Bashir pressed down an urge to remark on Garak's unusual celerity in eating today. "If I am to understand it correctly, there is to be a celebration here, on the station, concerning the Bajoran's liberation." He shrugged primly. "I find it rather quaint." *You would ...* Bashir smiled faintly at his unkind thought and nodded. "Sure ... I'm surprised I haven't heard of it yet. When is it?" Garak stuffed the piece of bread in his mouth and replied, "Next week." "All right Garak," he smiled, dismissing his meal as he dropped his napkin over his plate. "Count me there." "Fabulous!" the Cardassian cooed, and equally dropped his napkin to the table. "I'll attend as your guest. Now doctor, thank you once again for a most enjoyable meal." He stood and offered his customary farewell bow, and walked away lightly. Bashir's eyes followed him with a smile still on his lips, and he figured he should be returning to the infirmary as well. As it turned out, the celebration was hardly that. More of a formal gathering of officials and resistance leaders than anything else. Among the present were a couple of Starfleet officers, one of them a very bored Julian Bashir. And Garak his guest, even though much protest had been uttered concerning the alarming presence of a Cardassian at such a Bajoran-inclined gathering. Both alienated, they soon found comfort in each other's presence. Always drifting back to one another to exchange a word or two on nothing of grand importance. Julian became more and more eager for those chance encounters, and he began initiating fortuitous coincidences, one of which near the lavishly set buffet table. He feigned to get himself a third glass of wine, at the table he knew Garak was hovering near. The Cardassian turned away from a particularily engaging conversation with two resistance leaders and spotted his friend. Mumbling an apology, he quickly scurried to Julian's side, replenishing his glass. And though wine had little, if any, effect on the Cardassian, Julian was already feeling warm and pleasantly light on his feet. He smiled dazedly at his friend. "Are you as bored as I am?" he asked him, giggling at just how loud he'd spoken. Hiding slightly behind his drink as he surveyed the few reactions, Garak let go of a brief chuckle. "Not anymore," he replied honestly, straightening up and deigning a more serious poise. "I do believe I owe you an apology doctor, for having given undue attention to something which was clearly not what I had expected." "Oh Garak, no ... it gives me a chance to get out," Julian said softly, quickly taking a sip of wine to wet his dry throat. Garak smile pleasantly at him. "Ah but ... do you not value your solitude?" Julian quirked an eye at him. Garak merely continued, feigning interest in the crowd. "To retire after the day and be at peace with yourself? Alone ..." "Garak ..." The Cardassian turned abruptly. "Isn't it?" he asked again, a trace of forceful intent in his tone. Julian startled at it. He deposited his glass on the table and moved to walk away. Garak's arm lashed out subtly and looked to place itself lightly across Julian's wrist. But in truth, he'd just gripped him with impossible strength. Looking at the crowd as though nothing was out of the ordinary, Julian pressed close to Garak and muttered through the side of his mouth, "Garak, what are you doing?" The answer he expected came in a low whisper, slightly tousling the curls of hair framing an ear. "Come now doctor ... I know you ... I know what it is to live the life you live ..." A nervous tingle crept up the back of his neck. He still looked to the crowd, smiling small polite smiles. "Garak let go of me." "I will let you go Doctor ... in your quarters." This time Julian looked back squarely at his friend, and he nearly gasped at the different light shining from Garak's eyes. "What game are you playing with me now Garak?" "No game," the tailor roared softly. "I have been haunted by your presence all evening, smiling, laughing, flirting ... it has driven me to the point where careful plans of deceit are no longer applicable... in essence, Julian, I want you." Julian stared wide-eyed. "You can't possibly mean that ... you ... you don't know *anything* about me ... I even less about you." "Oh but I do Julian ..." Garak sighed, the hold on Julian's wrist partially loosening. "I know enough to be certain you will want this as much as I do ... once you are shown exactly what I want from you ..." His smile turned into a slight leer, and Julian tugged his arm free. Yet the effects of the alcohol and the atmosphere distorted his perception. He felt very comfortable, to be so close to Garak, yet at the same time nervous as hell. Some part of him begged to uncover Garak's meaning further, while another screamed to run away. His resolve broke when Garak trailed a hand subtly down to the curve of his backside, lightly tracing the outline of his taut muscles. He bit back a moan, and without another word, left the mess hall. Garak drained his wine, made a few practiced farewells to those he deemed worthy, and left leisurely. The heat was prominant now that Garak pressed behind him, a noticeable curve in the tightly tailored trousers he wore. Julian let out a barely audible whimper as he fumbled through the code to his quarters, finally slipping inside with Garak close behind him. When he turned, the Cardassian captured his face in cool hands and kissed him. Julian pulled away and breathed, "Why are you doing this? Now?" he asked, his breath tainted with wine over Garak's sensitive nose. "You do not want me?" he asked simply, his hand trailing down Julian's arms and wrapping his fingers through Bashir's. "You were given ample time to resist Julian ... and you chose to come here, with me. Your heart has made its mind, follow it." He pulled at his hand, leading him toward his own bedroom. Julian followed mutely, his thoughts trapped in a whirlwind of confusion and hesitation. Garak turned and let go of Julian's hand, staring softly into the young man's wide, expressive eyes. "Undress me ..." he whispered. "Garak ..." "Undress me," he repeated, more forcefully. Julian's lower lip quivered slightly as he moved to unfasten Garak's tunic, his hands uncovering the concealed clasps and removing them easily. Soon Garak's tunic was open, revealing a chiseled chest, covered in most part with scales. Julian stared in fascination, but soon his curiosity swelled to the point where he removed all of the Cardassian's clothing' without hesitation. Garak stood pleased before him, and proceeded to do the same for his young friend. The clothes were then tossed to a chair, already forgotten as Garak lowered the doctor to the bed. Julian trembled all over as the Cardassian covered his body, his hands caressing the rich golden skin relentlessly. And just as Julian was tensing and about to get up, Garak captured both wrists in his hands and moved them above the young man's head. Julian wailed in faint protest, his knees bending slightly to test Garak's weight. All he managed was to invite the Cardassian to press more against him, spreading his legs in the process. "Do you trust me?" Garak asked abruptly, Julian's wrists still held by the firm, cool grip of his hands. Everything screamed in him to say no. But what whispered from his lips was a simple yes, and Garak smiled. Whether triumph was present in the sudden lightness in the Cardassian's features, Julian would never be sure. But he was certain of one thing; things had changed. He whimpered softly in pain at the first intrusion. He wanted to scramble free, but Garak's hold was inexorable. He squirmed lightly, moaning at the torrent of sensation flooding his body ... such novel feelings. He arched his throat and closed his eyes. Cool hands pressed over the sides of his head and forced him back to focus. "Do you like it? This deep," Garak growled low, thrusting his hips pointedly. Julian wailed again, this time a greater measure of pleasure bordering his tone than before. "No-one's ever been this deep, have they Julian?" he asked, and Julian shook his head no. In truth, no-one had ever even touched him this way ... yet the double-entendre had been unmistakable. He cried again, his legs wrapping firmly over the Cardassian's back, as though never wanting to let him go. His hands embraced the taut arms stretched at his sides, clinging to anything which reminded him he wasn't drifting away to some faraway haven. **Almost paradise ... how could we ask for more ... I swear that I can see forever in your eyes ...** The song rolled through his mind unbidden and he whimpered again, the hands at the sides of his face pressing harder, forcing him to look wide-eyed at his lover. "Look at me when I'm coming inside you ..." Garak whispered, his soft blue eyes brilliant as they bore into him. "As you come ..." Julian's subsequent cry was far more passionate than any he'd uttered up until this moment. Hesitancy became foreign to him, doubt long gone. All that mattered was the connection binding his and Garak's souls together. He sighed, feeling the familiar whispers of pleasure building inside of him, roaring into something more wonderful ... But then Garak was gone. What was with him was a hollow shell, devoid of the passion and love from before. He was being fucked, senseless, by an empty body. He sobbed and closed his eyes, his fingers unable to close over Garak's hands which had slid into his palms so much they were being squeezed so tightly, wailing like a lost child as he felt the torrent of pleasure release in a hot flash of relief. Inside him he felt Garak's essence fill him, invading, learning the secrets of his body he'd kept such a tight lock on. And the only time he'd offered the key, he had offered it to a hollow soul. He opened his eyes to the ceiling, smelling the Cardassian's enticing scent close to his nose. A slight shift in his eyes revealed a patch of raven hair, and Julian realised Garak had fallen asleep in the curve of his neck. His hands were still entwined with his, and he sighed again, sadly, rolling his head the other way and letting himself fall into the natural sleep of the exhausted. Julian awoke angry. "How can you do this to me," he cried, scrambling from the bed where Garak was reclining casually against the headboard. He watched the young doctor gather his clothes hastily, amusing himself greatly. "Do what to you?" Julian turned his head to him, spitting out the words like bullets. "You used me ..." "Did I? You didn't seem to have any qualms about me _using_ you Julian ..." Garak chuckled under his breath and shook his head. "But we could play word games all morning, and miss out on more entertaining activities ..." His eyes scintillated with something outer- worldly as he tapped the empty space next to him. Julian was holding his trousers against his lap, face flushed. "I'm leaving ... I'm not spending another minute letting myself be--" "...used? Oh come now Doctor. The excuse is getting rather tiresome. Drop what you're doing and come to bed," he insisted. Staring down at his pants, Julian finally whirled toward his friend. "Why did you do that?" Garak stared innocently. "Do what?" "Leave ... you used me ... I thought it was going to be special, but you just ... It meant nothing to you did it?" he asked regretfully. Garak sat up, new interest shining within the pallid blue of his gaze. "Why do you say that? "Because I saw it in your eyes Garak ..." Julian said, sliding against the wall in a sitting position, sighing. "You weren't there ... we shared nothing." "Does sex _always_ need to mean something to you?" Garak said sharply. "I never said I loved you did I? Unless those glasses of wine distorted your hearing, I merely said I wanted you ..." The words stung and Julian bit his lip. "So. You did use me." "I did not use you!" Garak cried. "I would like to believe you wanted me as well ..." "I did .. I ... at least I thought I did ..." "And the fact you're now completely lucid helps you understand you _don't_ want me?" Garak pressed his bare back against the headboard, muttering, "I would have offered you wine at our first meeting doctor ..." "I don't ..." Julian blushed and looked down. "I don't know exactly what you've heard of me, but I am _not_ equal to my reputation on the station. Unlike you apparently, I don't believe in one-night- stands." "My dear boy, you have an uncanny ability to put words in my mouth," Garak growled. "Did I ever say I only wanted this for one night?" Julian looked up, a sudden brighteness in his eyes. "You want a relationship?" Garak sighed, climbing off the bed and padding to Julian. He knelt down and said, "A relationship ... Julian, but not of the kind you expect." He stood and towered over him. "To enter a relationship with you would mean my complete defection to Cardassian social protocal. It is little, perhaps even insignificant to your wealthy eyes, but this has become the last vestiges of Cardassia. Strip away my stature, and I am reduced to nothing. I will cling to it as long as I can Julian ... not even you, I'm afraid, can change that." He turned away and walked silently to bed. "Although taking you as my lover would not contradict any protocal ..." "Yes it would," Julian said, scrambling up and slipping into his pants. He looked across the room, to where Garak had been caught climbing the bed. On all fours, he regarded Julian silently as the doctor added, "My own. I'm sorry Garak ..." Garak stretched in a lain position and looked outside the viewport. "So am I..." Julian finished putting the clips on his collar and stared out at the same viewport. "I'm off to work ... Ah ..." "I'll be gone when you return Julian." "Thank you." He turned to leave, though paused and turned at Garak's beckon. "Yes?" Garak smiled faintly. "Lunch? Tomorrow?" "As always Garak. I look forward to it." Julian was long gone when Garak sighed and addressed the sky. "As do I ..." The stars remained quiet, pitiless. THE END