Date: Fri, 20 Feb 1998 02:13:38 -0800 From: BGM Organization: Lusty Lizards R' Us To: ascem@earthlink.net Subject: NEW DS9: Tailor, Spy, Tease Extraordinaire (G/B) (R) [Challenge(S)] I guess this falls under the Sex Toy and UST challenges ASCEM put out. ;) It's extremely silly. :) Paramount owns DS9, yadda yadda. Hey, I ain't making money over this! God forbid. ;) R - Language, Implicitness, Slash TAILOR, SPY, TEASE EXTRAORDINAIRE by BGM Garak's Quarters ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ "Are you certain this device is fool proof? I won't have some unexpected visit from the Constable asking me if we could 'have a talk'?" "Positive Elim. Look, relax - you said this was to 'pleasantly surprise' someone. If this someone is 'pleasantly surprised' by this, I don't think the first thing he would do is ask the Constable to have a look at it!" "You're right, as always Setkh. The controls are simple?" "Oh very - just thumb the switch for intensity, and the red panel switches to green when you activate it. I suggest not leaving it on while he sleeps ..." "Oh my dear, that's the whole point -" "Suit yourself. But you'll have a very exhausted victim on your hands. By the way, you didn't forget to implant the node did you?" "Who do you take me for? Dukat?" "All right, all right, I'm just checking. You never know - exile might have dulled your wits." "Not quite. I still know how to entertain my free time ..." "So I see. And you disposed of the hypospray and every-" "Sethk." "All right, you know well enough. I have to go - enjoy my little creation Elim." "Oh I'm quite certain I'll enjoy it thoroughly. Until next time, Sethk." "Right - and Elim?" "Hm?" "Next time, please don't interrupt my meetings with this sort of so- called 'urgency'? I have about twelve angry Guls screaming outside my door." "You poor creature." "*grump* - good evening Elim. Sethk out." "Oh I'm quite certain it will be ... let's see. Red panel - you're safe for now my dear. But - not for long." Replimat ^^^^^^^^^ "*groan*" "Julian? What's wrong? Is your raktegino too sour?" "Jadzi- I ... *moan* I - I think I have to go!" "You think you have to go?! Julian, you're red as a beet! What's wrong, sit down!" "No - I have to - go, need - Bye!" "Julian!" "What's all this?" "Kira - I don't know, Julian just ran out of here like a bat out of hell." "Bat?" "Sit down. I guess he's not coming back. Want to share lunch?" Bashir's Bedroom ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ "Oh God - Oh God - Oh God! Damn it, what the hell -" *chime* "Fuck! No - go away! *moan* *ruffle*" *chime* "ARG! I SAID go away! *ruffle* *whimper*" *chi- ...* "Finally! *moan*" "Doctor! My dear, I didn't mean to interrupt your - self-entertainement." "*gasp* *ruffle* What in hell are you doing here? You can't just intrude like this! Get OUT! OUT, NOW!" "My dear, there's nothing to be ashamed of. No, nothing indeed. Is there some way I can assist you?" "GET OUT! *toss*" "*dodge*" *crash* "You know, I'm not Klingon. Our practices don't involve throwing objects at each other." "OUT!!!! *toss*" "*dodge*" *thump* "*sigh* Very well. You know where to find me my dear. Good evening to you. By the way, you might want to satisfy that soon; I don't think blue is a healthy shade for Humans, is it?" "..." "All right, I'm leaving, no need to give me the Dark Eye." "*whimper*" "..." "You're still here!!" "Yes, I apologise - you're just a marvel to look at in the midst of lustful passion. I truly desire to participate, but I think I might just watch." "Garak, do you understand Standard? I don't WANT you here!! GET OUT!" "If you don't want me involved, then why are you still rubbing - it?" "That's none of your fucking business!!" "Oh but I think it is. *crink* Really doctor, if you don't want me to see your - delicious release of sexual tension, you just need to stop. The question is - can you?" "*moan* Gara- *whimper* Please - leave ..." "Tsk tsk, you're going at it all wrong." "ExCUSE me?? I think - *moan* - I think I know my cock better than you do Garak!!" "Oh I've no doubt you do - but I know certain techniques that would put to shame the mindless stroking you seem so fond of. Oh my, do you have trouble breathing?" "*pant* Please - please ..." "Please what doctor? Come now! Oh - I didn't mean that literally - I do enjoy a *loooong* bout of self-satisfaction, don't you?" "You bastard." "Why thank you! Is that any way to treat the one that - for the moment - has absolute control over what that cock of yours does? Let's see, we could always stop this entirely ... *crink*." "*exhale* *thump* Garak, I don't know what's going on or what you think you'll accomplish with this, but I'm not at all amus-" "I think I rather liked it when you were silenced by your own lust, Doctor. Let's resume your prior exhibition, shall we? *criiiiink*" "*scream* *crash*" "Oh dear, don't thrash around like that, that vase looked entirely too expensive to meet such an end! Tsk. Here, let's go about it methodically." "Shut up and fuck me Garak - fuck me now or I swear I'll sew that fucking mouth of yours shut with your own needle!!" "Well you needed only ask, my dear Doctor. No - no! - wait, you're entirely too pressed for this! Relax ... calm down, take a few deep breaths. *crink* There, isn't that better? Oh dear, you stained these trousers. *ruffle* Tsk tsk, such little consideration for your clothing. Though I suppose this sort of second-grade Starfleet material doesn't deserve such regard in the first place! *fold*" "What - *moan* What are you doing??" "Folding your trousers, Doctor. What does it look like I'm doing?" "FUCK the trousers!!" "I'm sorry Doctor - your fantasies are a bit beyond my comprehension; how am I expected to fuck a pair of trousers?" "*growl*" "*Mffmfmf* Oh my Doctor! *gasp* I never took you for such an animal! *mfmfmfffm* All right, all right! Haven't you ever heard of foreplay? How selfish! *ruffle*" "STOP FOLDING!!!" "Your quarters are in an enough mess as it is, Doctor - I wouldn't want to be accused of adding to it!" "Just come to bed, please - Garak ..." "*criiink* "GARAK FOR GOD'S SAKE COME FUCK ME NOW!!!" "Tsk. Look at the time. Ooooh well, I suppose I shouldn't have gotten myself involved this far. I'm sorry Doctor, but I have an appointment. It shouldn't take more than an hour or so." "GARAK!!!!!!!!!!!" "Hm. Now I wouldn't want you to get rid of that lovely erection while I'm gone though - ah! Here. *ruffle*" "What - Garak - No! NO!! DON'T DO THIS TO ME!!!!!!!" *click* *click* "There. Muuuch better. Oh don't thrash around like that, you'll only exhaust yourself and hurt your wrists. Now, I'll *try* to make it quick, but no promises. *airy kiss*" "GARAAAAAK!!!!!" "*criiiink*" "*thrash* *moan* *scream* *whimper*" "*sing-songing* I dreamt a little Human - dangling and squirming at the end of my line - I dreamt a little Human - who was my complete possession - My deeeear, it'll be a long weekend." THE END