This story is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents 
are either products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. 
Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is 
entirely coincidental.  

STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE is a Registered Trademark ® of 
Paramount Pictures.
Copyright (c) 1997 by Paramount Pictures. All Rights Reserved. No 
infringement was meant.

UNEXPECTED APHRODISIAC (Or Garak Discovers Sneezing) copyright (c) 
1997 by BGM            

Note:  And here t'is ANOTHER piece of pure silliness :)

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"It's a kitten!"  Julian Bashir exclaimed, kneeling down to the little 
ball of fur cuddled next to his leg.  He smiled sweetly and petted it 
carefully, amused by how comfortably it sat in the palm of his hand.  
"Garak, isn't he just the cutest thing you ever saw?"  he asked, turning 
toward the tailor.  He promptly frowned at the funny look on the 
Cardassian's face.  "Garak?"

Garak would have liked to respond, but instead threw back his head and
violently sneezed.  "What the HELL was that?" he asked promptly, bemused.   
Julian giggled, taking a few steps away from his friend.

"I think you may be allergic to cats Garak.  It's okay, it's normal," he
reassured the preoccupied tailor.

"No, I meant the sensation ... the ... the ..."  he wiggled his nose 
before emitting another fabulous sneeze.  "DAMN that feels good!" he said 
with a huge grin.

Julian stared.  "You mean to tell me you've never sneezed in your life?"

He sniffed contemptuously.  "I'm not pregnant, nor am I Bajoran Doctor.  
Cardassians do not sneeze."  His nose tickled nose again, and he smiled.  
"Oh ... Oh ... here's another one ..."  he let it come, sneezing again 
with violent force.  When he looked back, tears were in his eyes but he 
looked blissful.  "Great Gul, I've never felt anything quite so good 
before.  Well ..." he flashed Bashir a seductive look.  "Aside from that 
of course."

"Garak, I am amazed at this.  It's almost medically impossible!  But then 
again, cats aren't exactly Cardassian so it's possible your people have 
never developed the ..."  Julian trailed off, and he thought of all the 
research papers he could write on this fascinating aspect of Cardassian 
body workings when another sneeze drew his attention.  When Garak looked back, 
his look was somewhat different.

"Garak?"

"Drop the cat," he growled.

"Wh--"  Julian gasped as Garak took the kitten from his hands and 
delicately deposited on the ground.  When he turned back, he grasped the 
doctor's wrist and pulled him into a darkened shadow.  

"I'm sorry doctor, but all these 'outbursts' have made me somewhat ... 
well, see for yourself."

Still cloaked by the small alcove they'd taken refuge in, Julian gasped.  
"Oh Elim!  No, not--"  His voice became muffled, then became clearer 
again, "--now!  We can't ... in the corridor ..." his voice segued into a 
moan, and there was a long moment of silence, broken only by whimpers 
which their hosts were obviously trying to surpress.  

When Julian finally emerged from the shadowed corner first, he was 
running his hands over himself, trying to erase the creases in his 
uniform.  Garak followed, smoothing his hair.  

"Is there anything else I should know about you Garak?" Julian asked, 
throwing the tailor a glance as he picked up the cat.    

"Well.  I do shed my skin at the end of the season, but I don't think 
that'll be a problem." 

As they walked down the stretch of corridor, Julian stared darkly at him.

"But I do!"  Garak insisted as they rounded the corner.  

Another sneeze echoed in the corridor, then a shuffle and a tiny mewl.  
Julian suddenly cried out indignantly.  "Elim!  Wait until we're inside 
quarters for goodness' sake!"

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THE END

Copyright (c) BGM 1997
soma@johnabbott.qc.ca