It's a Long Way Down


Yes...it's another of those damn stories based on the song "Ice Cream" by Sarah McLachlan...safely rated PG-13, so that Tammy can read it!!!  Just kidding, sweetie!

Anyhow, y'all know that I LOVE FEEDBACK, so I expect to hear from you *ALL*  really soon!

DISCLAIMER: As much as I would like for it to be true, a certain Ensign is never going to be my personal plaything...this also means that I don't own *his* plaything (a certain ex-Borg) or their playground (Voyager)...alas--woe is me--that's all owned by that big bully Paramount; the song that inspired this is by Sarah (as you all know), and the rest of it came from my twisted little brain...

**NOTE: The events in this story pick up where they left off in "Chocolate".  While it isn't necessary to read that one to get this one, it helps...


As Harry paced in his quarters, he couldn’t help but to relieve the events that had led to his present agitation...

The whole thing had started so innocently...*well* maybe not that innocently...he and Seven had been in the holodeck, picnicking, and Seven had decided to taste him...what had ensued was the single most erotic experience of his life...and it was also the catalyst for their first argument...well, argument wasn’t exactly the right word for what had happened, but whatever it was, it hadn’t been pleasant...

He could still feel the gentle sandpaper rasp of Seven’s tongue against his neck, and along his chest as it followed the tips of her cool fingers as she unbuttoned his shirt.  He could still feel the heat of her breath fluttering his hair and against his scalp as she placed a kiss against his temple...

* * * * * 

With gentle hands Seven pushed the two halves of his shirt apart, and leaned forward to kiss the center of his chest.  Turning her head she used her tongue to flick his nipple, causing him to gasp, and tighten his hold on her hips.

"Harry?  Have I injured you?"  Wide blue eyes looked into his, worry radiating out from their depths.

"No-o...I’m fine--I--it’s just that it’s been a long time since anyone touched me like this, and it feels--"  He broke off with a gasp as Seven again used her tongue, and her teeth as well, to bring his nipple to a stiff peak.  "Se-ven..."

"Yes?"

Her expression was one that he couldn’t remember seeing her use--it was a cross between amusement and satisfaction--almost smug.  A slight smile curved her mouth, and a tiny dimple had formed in her cheek.  Harry raised his hand and rubbed his thumb over the dimple and across her lips before pulling her down to his level for a deep kiss.  His hands began to move on her body, one caressing Seven’s jaw and tangling in her hair, the other sliding over the curve of her hip, and coming to rest on her rounded backside.

Harry broke the kiss, and using a fighting move that B’Elanna had once used on him, he flipped Seven, ending up on his knees between her parted legs.  Sure that he had her attention, Harry slowly lowered the zipper that held her shirt closed. Mirroring her earlier actions, he kissed each inch of Seven’s skin as it was exposed, stopping once to investigate a star-shaped implant on her breast bone, and stopping again at her ribs where there was another implant, this one a narrow wire that seemed to encircle her entire ribcage.  Each time he brushed his fingers over one of the implants, she gasped and arched upwards, only subsiding when Harry moved on to another place on her skin.

When Harry’s fingers arrived at the waistband of her leggings, he pulled the sides of  Seven’s shirt apart as she pushed his off his shoulders.  Harry frantically shrugged out of his shirt, helping Seven in her efforts, eager to be free of it, so that he could return his 
attention to Seven.  He was somewhat surprised to see that she wore a lacy peach bra--definitely *not* what he expected--and he wondered if her panties matched.  In the same breath, he felt his face redden, and he told himself to slow down and *focus*.

Forcing himself to calm down, Harry lay on his side next to Seven, and he began to trace the outline of the implant on her breastbone.  Seven turned her head to look at him, her usual frank and intense gaze, and it was his undoing.

Before he even knew that he was going to say them, the words ‘I love you’ came out of his mouth.  Holding his breath, he waited for her response.

"Does this mean that you wish to copulate?"

If Seven had thrown a bucket of cold water on him, she couldn't have ruined the mood any quicker.  Harry’s fingers stopped moving, and he rolled away from Seven.  Staring into the simulated sky of the Holodeck program, he asked, "Is that why you think I told you that I love you?"

With a calm that nearly infuriated Harry, Seven replied, "Before, when I offered to copulate with you, and you refused me, I understood your reason to be a lack of love.  Was this assessment incorrect?"

"Yes--no--I don’t know!"  With this, Harry got to his feet, and began to pace, trying hard to contain his mounting anger and frustration.

"I am confused.  Did you wish to be intimate with me, or not?" 

Kneeling before Seven, and grasping her shoulders, Harry said, "Yes,  gods yes, I wanted to--I still do.  But I can’t unless I know that you love me too."  Grasping her hand, and placing it over his heart, he continued, "I want you so badly that every part of me hurts.  Even," he pressed hard against her hand for emphasis, "here.  But I just can’t."

Using his free hand to pull her close, Harry cupped the back of  Seven’s head as he kissed her with all of the feeling in his heart.  As he broke away, he could feel her hand trembling against his chest, and he could see the confusion in her eyes.

"Harry?"

Suddenly feeling an overwhelming need to get away, away to someplace where he could be alone, alone to think, Harry rose and called for the exit.

"Harry, I--"

Afraid of what he would hear, Harry cut her off with, "No--stop, please.  Just think about what I said."  Not waiting to see if she had anything else to say, Harry left the Holodeck.  As soon as the doors closed, he fell against the wall, exhausted, and scared that he had just ruined the best thing that had ever happened to him--with a deep sigh, he pushed off the wall, and noticed that he was naked from the waist up.  Deciding that he would rather brave the odd looks of his crewmates than to face Seven again, he turned and headed for his 
quarters.

* * * * * 

A very confused Seven was left behind to contemplate all that had transpired between them, and to puzzle over what Harry had said.  Since she had never been *in love*, she really had no basis for deciding if her feelings for Harry were love, or something else entirely.  
She vaguely remembered the warm feeling that she had felt when she was with her parents, before they had all been assimilated.  She remembered telling her parents that she loved them, and hearing them reply, but even as inexperienced as she was,  Seven realized that loving her parents, and being in love with Harry would be two different feelings.

When she analyzed how she felt when she was with him, she realized that Harry made her feel warm and safe.  But she also felt strange when she was with him: her heart rate increased, her respiration was shallow, her pupils would dilate, and strangest of all, her stomach would feel odd--almost like there were thousands of tiny birds inside it, all fluttering around.  Sometimes, when she watched him, she would be overcome with the need to touch him, as if to confirm his reality. Was this love?

Then there was her other behaviors to consider.  When she and he were apart, Seven found that she would spend large amounts of time thinking about Harry.  She dreamt of him while regenerating in her alcove.  When she entered a room, she always looked for him, and was reassured when she saw him, even if they were unable to speak to one another.  She kept little things that reminded her of Harry, and things that he had given to her.  She displayed holos of him in the Cargo Bay.  Did any of these mean that she was in love?

She felt protective towards Harry--when the Hirogen had taken over the ship, Seven had nearly panicked when she her implant had been disabled, and she discovered that Harry wasn’t among the crewmembers imprisoned on the Holodecks.  Fearing that he had been killed, she had only been able to relax when she remembered that the Doctor had said he was alive, on the Bridge, and working to free the crew.   It pleased her to please him.  When she had been downloading letters from Earth off the Array, she had felt pleasure when she was able to ascertain that Harry had indeed received a letter, and that she had been able to retrieve all of it.  When Harry asked things of her, she was unable to say no to him.  An example of this was her hair.  She liked it up; he took it down.  What Harry liked, she would give him.  Were these feelings indicative of being in love?

When Harry had said that he loved her, Seven’s heart had skipped a beat, and her first instinct had been to please him--obviously she had said the wrong thing at the wrong time, but she was relatively inexperienced, and she hadn’t known how to respond.  Reviewing all 
that Harry had said afterwards, Seven felt that she knew now what her answer should have been, but she was still unsure.  She briefly considered talking to the doctor about her feelings, but decided that the Captain would be a better choice.  Before reporting to Astrometrics tomorrow, she would approach the Captain, and discuss the events of this evening.  Making this decision helped to clear some of her confusion, and she continued to tidy she and Harry’s picnic site, so that she could return to the Cargo Bay and regenerate. 
 
She packed away the last of the food in the hamper, and bent to pick up the blanket she had spread on the ground.  As she did so, Seven saw that Harry had left his shirt behind. 

Dropping the corner of the blanket, Seven sank to her knees, and picked up the shirt.  Bringing it to her face, she pressed the smooth cotton to her nose, and inhaled deeply.  Then for no reason that she could discern, Seven burst into tears.

* * * * *

It had been a really long shift, and B’Elanna was looking forward to her date with Tom.  It was her turn to choose the Holoprogram, and she had arrived a few minutes early, hoping to surprise Tom by already being in the hot tub, wearing nothing but a smile, when he 
arrived.

Looking at the panel, she noticed that a program was already running.  "Either I’m late, or Tom is early.  Computer, who is currently occupying Holodeck Two?"

"Ensign Kim and Seven of Nine."

Oh my...the picnic.  She wondered if Harry had told Tom about this little tete a tete... probably not.  Harry was pretty secretive when it came to his time alone with Seven.  "Torres to Kim."  Nothing.  "Torres to Seven of Nine."  Again, nothing.  While B’Elanna knew 
how easy it was to lose track of time in the Holodecks, she also knew that she wasn’t going to miss any of her time tonight, especially since she had had a rather trying day in Engineering, beginning with Vorik and his damn logic, and ending with a botched experiment.  All she wanted now was a hot tub, a drink, and Tom’s company.  A query to the computer revealed that there was no privacy lock engaged.  Knowing that Harry and Seven had the same taste in Holoprograms--innocent--B’Elanna felt safe in entering, so she keyed in the entry sequence, and stepped inside.  She expected that Harry and Seven were engrossed in one of their seemingly endless discussions about technical matters, but what greeted her instead brought her up short.

Sitting on the ground was thoroughly disheveled and half undressed Seven, and from all appearances, she was crying.  Seven crying?  What the hell was going on?

Just then, the doors to the Holodeck opened, and a whistling Tom entered.  He, too, stopped in his tracks, and his cheerful whistle died as he looked from B’Elanna to Seven, and back to B’Elanna again.

Thinking that his beloved had finally snapped, and done something drastic to put Seven into this state, Tom cautiously asked, "B’Elanna?  What happened?"

The only coherent thought in B’Elanna’s head was that they needed help--she, for one, had *no* ideas on how to deal with the sobbing ex-Borg.  As she grasped Tom’s meaning she answered, "Nothing...she was like this when I got here.  I don’t know *what* happened to her.  Tom, go find Harry."

"No!"  Seven’s head came up, and the word snapped out so forcefully that Tom actually stopped in mid-turn.

B’Elanna couldn’t have been more surprised if Seven had stated her wish to assimilate the whole ship.  As far as she knew, Harry and Seven were pretty close.   For Seven to say no to Harry, there had to be something going on.
  
"Seven, why don’t you want us to get Harry?"

Seven only shook her head, and said, "No.  I do not want to see Harry right now."

Tom knelt at her side, and asked, "How can we help you if you won’t tell us what’s wrong?  Is the problem Harry?  Is he the reason you’re so upset?"

B’Elanna knelt at her other side and said, "I know that we’ve not been the greatest of friends in the past, but I would like to help you, and I know that Tom would like to also.  Will you tell us what’s wrong?"

Seven raised tear-filled eyes to gaze at B’Elanna, and suddenly, like a river breaching a dam, the whole story, up to, and including Seven’s questions about the nature of her feelings, poured out onto the unsuspecting couple.

When it appeared that Seven had finished, B’Elanna told Tom to talk some sense into his thick-headed friend, so that she and Seven could talk.  As he left, B’Elanna turned back to Seven, and extended her hand.  Pulling the other woman to her feet, and into her arms, B’Elanna enfolded Seven into a hug.  Much to B’Elanna’s surprise, Seven returned it.  As they pulled apart, B’Elanna said, "Let’s finish picking up, and I’ll help you get back to your quarters."

As they folded the blanket, B’Elanna thought about what Seven had said, and decided that she should set Seven straight on this whole business as soon as possible.  She knew from experience that Harry didn’t use the ‘L’ word lightly, and she could tell that he was serious about Seven.  She could also tell that Seven had no idea that what she was feeling was love, or even  how to express her feelings to Harry.

After making sure that Seven was decent (she definitely didn’t want to answer to Harry if  she let Seven wander the corridors with her shirt hanging open), B’Elanna called for the exit, and deactivated the program.  Within a few minutes, she and Seven arrived at Cargo Bay Two.

B’Elanna looked around at the Bay, and saw that Seven had been adding some personal touches: a holo of Harry playing his clarinet; one of several crewmembers at one of Neelix’s parties; a branch of pale lavender lilacs; a kal-tow set; a box with delicate jade inlays; another holo, this one of Harry playing volleyball.  As she completed her inventory of the room, B’Elanna made a mental note to ask the Captain if she could outfit a set of crew quarters with a regeneration alcove, so that Seven would have a space to call her own.  
Turning 
to face Seven, B’Elanna noticed that she was clutching a red piece of fabric.

"Seven, can I ask you something?"

"You may."

"What is that you are holding?"

Looking down at her clenched  hand,  Seven replied, "It is Harry’s shirt."  She raised it to eye level, and showed B’Elanna.  When B’Elanna nodded, Seven folded the shirt carefully, and laid it on the console, next to the box, which she touched fleetingly.

Watching Seven as she folded the shirt, and seeing the care she took with it, B’Elanna made a decision, and chose her next words carefully.  "You know Seven, it seems to me that these feelings that you are describing are the signs of love."

"How do you know that?"

"Well, I feel the same way about Tom as you say you do about Harry.  You know how you say that you feel protective of Harry?  I feel the same way about Tom...you have to promise not to tell anyone what I’m about to tell you."  Seeing Seven’s nod of agreement, B’Elanna continued,  "I know that you remember pulling letters from home off the Array.  I saw 
you scanning the letters, and I saw you stop when we loaded Harry’s, so you don’t know that the last message that we received was from Tom’s father, Admiral Paris.  I was scared that the letter might be bad news, or something that Tom didn’t need to see, so I read it first."

"Is that not an invasion of his privacy?  Shouldn’t you have just given the letter to Lt. Paris?"

"Well, yes.  But I think in this case, the invasion was necessary, and in the end, for the best.  You see, Tom’s father didn’t write him a nice letter, full of gossip and family news, like Harry’s.  All he wanted to do was tell Tom how disappointing he was as a son, how much he had hurt his mother when he disappeared, and to ask him how he could live with himself, knowing that he was once again in a position where people counted on him, and knowing that he had killed his best friends--rather than let his father hurt him with that awful 
letter, I let Tom think that we had lost his message, along with the others.  I wanted to spare him that pain...because I love him."

"So you think that I love Harry, because you have may of the same feelings, and you love Tom?  I think that I understand what you are trying to tell me."  A small smile crept over Seven’s face as she sighed.  "I was unsure--I--I have never felt these feelings before, and I--"  She broke off, and swallowed before continuing, "Thank you."

B’Elanna was too surprised to do more than stammer out ‘thank you’.  In all the time that she had been on board, Seven had never thanked B’Elanna for anything, or been overly polite to anyone besides Harry and the Captain.  Being around Harry must be having a positive effect on her.

"Should I go to Harry now, and tell him that I love him?"

A sudden inspiration struck, and B’Elanna’s wicked streak took over as she answered, "Yes, but not just yet.  I think we should make Harry suffer.  Come on, we have some work to do."  Measuring the other woman with her eyes, B’Elanna turned to the replicator, and began to request items.

* * * * * 

By the time the door chime sounded, Harry had relived the whole wonderful, awful experience, and he was feeling like an idiot.  Thinking that it was Seven, wanting to talk, he ignored it, hoping that she would get the hint, and go away. He definitely *did not* want to talk to her until they had put some time and space between the two of them and the events of this evening.

When the chime didn’t sound a second time, Harry heaved a sigh of relief, and walked to the window.  When the doors opened, Harry realized that he shouldn’t have underestimated Seven’s desire to talk this out.  Not wanting to talk, he called out, "Go away, Seven," without even looking to see if it was indeed her.

"That’s certainly the way I’d greet my friends, especially the really pretty ones named Seven."

"Tom."

"Harry."

Stretching, and yawning for effect, Harry said, "I’ve had a really long night, so if you don’t mind, I’d like to get to bed."

"*You’ve* had a bad night?  I’ve just come from the Holodeck, where B’Elanna and I have been comforting a certain blonde of your acquaintance.   Do I need to go on?"

Fearing Tom’s response, but needing to know, Harry turned and asked, "What did she tell you?"

"Everything."

Harry had the grace to blush as he repeated, "Everything?"

"Yeah, buddy, *everything*, including how she feels about you."

Harry turned away again, hurt.  He struggled to keep that hurt from his voice as he said, "That’s funny.  She’ll tell you and B’Elanna how she feels, but she won’t tell me."

"Well, she didn’t come right out and say how she feels, but any idiot can read between the lines, and *see* how she feels about you."

"I don’t know what she said to you, but she’s never given me any indication of her feelings.  As far as I can tell, she’s just using me as a guinea pig in her experiments to become more human."

"Harry--you don’t really mean that."

"No.  I don’t.  But it is so frustrating to feel this way, and not have it returned." 

Exasperated with his friend’s dense comments, Tom crossed the room, and slapped Harry alongside the head.

"Oww.  What was that for?"

"Harry, you are an idiot."

Sarcasm dripped from Harry’s voice as he said, "Thanks."

"Well, it’s true.  For all of the intelligence that I know you have, you sure can be dumb.  Seven has never been in love before, so how would she know it?  Think about it, Harry.  She hasn’t done this whole human thing in the same order as the rest of us."

Harry blushed again as he realized that Tom was right. 

"Oh god, Tom--how could I be so stupid?  What am I going to do?  Oh shit...how do I even begin to make this up to her?"

"Well...if I was you, I’d get ready to apologize...repeatedly.  Flowers might do nicely in this case, or maybe even a new implant?"

Harry cracked up at this last one, and he and Tom joked about the best way to re-gain Seven’s favor.  After a few minutes, Tom decided that he had done what B’Elanna had sent him to do, so he told Harry goodnight, and turned to leave.  

"Hey, Tom."

Tom turned in the doorway, and smiled.

"Thanks."

"No problem.  What are friends for?  You’d better get some sleep...you’ve got a busy day tomorrow, what with all of these apologies you need to make to Seven and all...not to mention kissing B’Elanna’s feet for calming her down. ’Night."

"G’night, Tom."

* * * * *

"Paris to Torres."

"Torres here."

"We still have some Holodeck time left.  Would you like to join me in a hot tub?"

"You read my mind.  I’m just leaving Seven’s quarters; meet me outside of Holodeck Two in a few minutes?"

"Yes, ma’am."

"It’s not crunch time yet, Flyboy...I’ll let you know."

Grinning from ear to ear, Tom repeated, ‘Yes ma’am’ and closed the channel.  As he entered the turbolift, he began to whistle.

* * * * * 

As Tom left, Harry entered  the bathroom, washed his face and brushed his teeth, dropped his pants and boxers into the fresher, and pulled on his pajama bottoms.  On his way to the bedroom, Harry turned out the lights and set the alarm for 0530.  As he turned the corner into his room, he caught a whiff of something that he almost recognized, mixed with the unmistakable scent of silk.  Odd...he’d never noticed the scent that accompanied his wall hangings before.  Shrugging, he attributed it to the strange events of the evening.  He 
walked to the bed, peeled back the covers, and climbed in.

He was just beginning to drift off when he heard it--a faint rustling, from the corner of the room.  "Hello?  Is someone there?"

Instead of answering, Seven crossed the room to kneel at Harry’s bedside.  She leaned to kiss Harry, and as she pulled away, she murmured against his mouth, "I love you, Harry Kim."

"What did you say?  No wait--don’t say it yet. Computer, one-quarter illumination."

As the lights came up, Harry could see that Seven was dressed in a shimmery rose-colored gown, and that her hair tumbled past her shoulders in loose curls.  Inhaling deeply...yes, there it was: the silk, and...lilacs.  Her eyes seemed even larger than normal in the 
semi-darkness, and her skin glowed a soft pearly white.

"What did you say?"

Looking deeply into his eyes, Seven repeated "I love you."

Harry's heart contracted painfully in his chest, and he felt lighter than air.  But still a little voice inside prompted him to ask, "Are you sure?  You’re not just saying that because you think that it’s what I want to hear?"

"I have never been more sure of anything in my entire life...I love you, Ensign Harry Kim."  She sealed the phrase with a searing kiss that left Harry breathless. 

When he was finally able to speak again, he answered, "I love you too."

~Finis~