Variation on "The Year of Hell" Disclaimer: I really have to give kudos for this one, especially since it’s basically an expanded version of some of the events in The Year of Hell, Part 2. I solemnly swear that I’m not making any $$$ for this; all characters and the story are the property of Paramount; only their thoughts and a few of their actions came from my twisted and sappy little mind. As soon as they exited his mouth, Neelix knew that his words had hurt the Captain. She hesitated at the threshold and he could see she was unhappy, but still she went in. He followed her into what was left of Commander Chakotay’s cabin, and discreetly looked elsewhere, while she surveyed the mess. Her tricorder began to beep more rapidly; a sure sign that she had found something. Against the beep-beep he heard the tinkling of debris as she brushed shards of pottery and glass away from something on the floor. "He disobeyed orders." Turning to her, he asked, "Captain?" Looking in her direction, he could see that she was holding something; only a flash of silver showed as her fingers tightened around it and she spoke. "Chakotay gave this to me five months ago, a birthday gift - I ordered him to--" She stopped speaking abruptly, and Neelix realized that she was trying not to cry. As he looked on, she stood and pulled back her shoulders, command settling onto her frame like a dark cloud. She turned with her hand at her waist: she was holding a large, old fashioned time piece suspended on a silver chain. "What do you think?" "Handsome." ~~~~~~~~~~~ She’d not entered Chakotay quarters since he’d been taken from the ship because to do so would have been too painful. Her brain was yelling to her body to move. The part of her that she kept hidden deep inside had other ideas. She paused in the corridor, deliberating. This last thought propelled her into motion, and she stepped inside, sweeping her tricorder from side to side, looking for the less obvious damages. The metallurgical scan began to beep wildly, and she knelt and pushed aside the pieces of Chakotay’s things to see what it was. Her watch. Telling him to recycle it had been the hardest thing she had ever done. The look in his eyes as he pleaded with her to keep it had been more than she could bear, and she had been unforgivably rude to him. She must have spoken aloud; Neelix’ voice registered in her mind, but she had no idea what he said - she felt the next words slip out of her mouth, and with them a rush of emotion. She struggled to hold back the tears; there would be time enough to cry later, when she was alone. As she gripped the watch, she could feel its hard edges, pressing into her palm, and she made a decision. She stood and took up her command stance, shoulders back, head up. She would keep the watch. It had been important enough to *him* that he disobeyed orders; she would wear it as a reminder of what could be... ~~~~~~~~~~ For the first time ever, Kathryn Janeway was alone on Voyager. Tuvok and Seven had just left to beam to the other ship. Slowly, deliberately, she walked to her chair. The comforting weight of the watch at her waist drew her attention. She took the timepiece in hand and gazed at its face while she continued to the command chair. Letting the watch dangle free once again, she sat and surveyed the bridge. ~~~~~~~~~~ It was bold move; reckless. But if it worked - she tried not to think of Chakotay on one of the other ships. If this failed, they would all be dead, but that did not lessen the pain. While Voyager fell toward the Krenim ship, she murmured "Time’s up." As the two ships drew closer to one another, she held the silver watch to her heart. At the moment of impact Kathryn closed her eyes; her last thought was of Chakotay, and what could be... End.