Many, perhaps most people, believe that battered women will be safe once they separate from the batterer. They also believe that women are free to leave abusers at any time. However, leaving does not usually put an end to the violence. Batterers may, in fact, escalate their violence to coerce a battered woman into reconciliation or to retaliate for the battered woman’s perceived rejection or abandonment of the batterer. Men, who believe they are entitled to a relationship with battered women or that they “own” their female partner, view women’s departure as an ultimate betrayal which justifies retaliation.

Because leaving may be dangerous -- dangerous from the point that the batterer learns that the relationship may end through several years of separation -- does not mean that the battered woman should stay. Cohabiting with the batterer is highly dangerous both as violence usually increased in frequency and severity over time and as a batterer may engage in preemptive strikes, fearing abandonment or anticipating separation even before the battered woman reaches such a decision. Although leaving may pose additional hazards, at least in the short run, ultimately a battered woman can best achieve safety and freedom apart from the batterer.

Leaving will require strategic planning and legal intervention to avert separation violence and to safeguard victims and their children. Law Enforcement advocates, and battered women must work in partnership to assure that the separation process is safeguarded against batterer violence.

(Source: Metro Nashville Police Dept., Nashville TN)