*Plastic Water from your local Shopping mall*

sitting on a bench in the mall
i see old men wearing plaid pants.
their women hold on to them for their
lives, wearing their polyester nightgowns
and ugly fur hats.
i laugh and take a bite of my processed
water in a bottle.
i sit on the bench for awhile, waiting
for a sign to move.  a dog wearing
a bell on its ankle strolls by, and
i get up and walk.
old men smoking pipes make me laugh.
their pants are a riot in the plaid 
industry.  Without a silly hat 
there is NO style in an old man's walk.
ordinary just isn't good enough.

(they wanted lies,
                                    yet i fed them the truth.)


*Pallid Rainbows*

My grey heart has turned gold,
My gold tounge has turned white,
My black hair has turned blonde,
My red soul has turned blue.

My life, my ways,
My thoughts, my dreams,

have changed unseen,
have changed unknown,
                                except to me.      

all i have done,
       does not matter,
for i am not the girl I used to be.

My green eyes have turned red,
My purple feet have turned yellow,
My brown ears have turned pink,

i am now but a color,

Many colors,

    creating a colorful
assortment of a personality,

me.



*10*

ten different ways to say my name,
ten different ways to spell,
how I know my own damn name
is worse than bad 'ole hell.

ten different ways to lay in bed
ten different ways to talk,
how I know that i'm not ted
affects me how I walk.

ten different ways to kill a horse
ten different ways to fly
how i'd get rid of the corpse,
affects how it would die.


*Searching for Gold in a Silver Mine*

WIthout you or with you
I dine from empty bags.
I wait for you -
Yet the storm won't let you in.

I sense the scattered lines
in my eyes,
the red curves of destruction.
in my wishes,
the storm sets on
the shore,
and you arrive.

I cannot live without you.
My hands are here to hold yours,
My lips are here for you to kiss.

lightning serves as
an element to
seperate us,

in which the storm tries.

With you or without you
I sleep in a cardboard box.
I long for you -
yet the rain holds you back.

I sense the distance
in your eyes -

blue flowers of sadness.

I cannot live without you.
Please, take my hand.
My hands are made to hold yours.

Storms are everywhere,
hurting everyone.

My eyes turn from red to white.

WIthout you I'd have no color.

I cannot live without you.






*Decaying Wishes*

All my dreams of you are fading away,
they soon will be lost and decayed.
My dreams are all I have of you,
without dreams and wishes I know not
what to do.
Restore my dreams of you,
Visit me at night in my bed,
with dreams of you in my head,
Dreams of the love we once had shared,
when you had really cared.

Restore my dreams of you,
they are fading away,
they will be lost,
they will decay.



Real love lasts forever.




*Tonight*

Tonite, tonite, I'm losing myself again,
Tonite, tonite, don't think I shall return again,
My faces continue to change,
as the brightness fades into the dark,
Flashing colors leave my dreams forever.

Forever decay into the world of light,
you dreams of brightness.

Tonite, tonite, I'm losing control again,
Tonite, tonite, how I wish I could fly.

To fly at the comfort of nite,
So high I never shall fall,
I shall never die.

Tonite.




*Monsters*

Everyday they work me so hard,
in return I get not one damn thing,
What happened to my freedom of choice?

   forced, FORCED
inside of the daily cage,

                CONFORMED to society

     without my FREEDOM OF CHOICE

I am not real -

When they force me in the daily cage -

Since when did my schooling become my education?




*An ugly side of "love"*

    I saw an ugly face,
    a very mean,
    angry face 
    I saw.

A raised fist,
waiting to meet my face,
I saw the hatred in that ugly fist,
the fist that wanted to meet my face.

     The ugly face
     then lost its anger
      the fist went down,
       the face remembered 
         to act as if in love.

That fist would love to meet my face.






*People*

     as I
walked Across the
   room The
people were watching me.
   those people, those people stared,
they
      stared
at
     me as i
talked to
someone 
across
the 
room.  those people
wouldn't stop
staring.......

         those people
         were
                staring
                          at 
                           me.
then i Killed the person
i was talking to
across
the 
room.

   those people
   tHoSe PeOpLe

  those people........


stared
at 
me
no
more.




*Pained*


You,
me,
anger
and pain.

The anger
 is ugly and it hurts you.....

     but do you know it hurts me too?

i feel so:

trapped
unloved
unpraised
unwanted
used
cold 
mad
confused
    they give me this,
        and others inforce 
       it as well

   i see and
   feel the
  pain in your eyes

      just please.....

please don't ever give up


       on me.

Pained.
 



*Time*


It never ends
       it always spins -
in continious motion -
          always moving
ahead -
it takes me
with it,
        
   there is no 
escape - 
     it always moves
ahead,
       
  always alive,
never will be dead,

    
  it ticks,
      
 it tocks,

It wont stop!

moving,
spinning,
moving,
spinning.

    the spiral of time
has trapped
me into always
always moving
ahead.

           Will it stop to let me rest?

              It wont stop!

drags me ahead - 

i 
dont 
want
to 
be constantly
moving ahead!

   it ticks,
    it tocks,
i want it to stop!

spinning and moving and

SPINNING AND MOVING AND TICKING 
AND TOCKING,

AND NEVER STOPPING!


*Green*

Black funeral with an unknown corpse
dry eyes, confused looks
Wilted flowers on the opened casket
"Friends" dare not to look
Questions arise in the air,
yet no words were spoken,
For no one knew much of anything about anything
or anyone
Traveled from afar to hold social status
How could they all forget?
If only the dead could speak
Glazed eyes stare dead at the world
They all forgot, and they never cared
The soul lies in the casket,
has no other place to go
Shall live eternally in the box underground
If only the dead could speak
How could they all forget?
Blind to love
Found sight in materialism
Forgot family
Remembered wealth
Presented themselves to be "seen" at the black funeral
When green showed its evil face it destroyed them all.


*In Which Here I Turn*

the world has trapped me in its turn,
i fear it,
but me to it is no concern.

me, so unimportant
and small
trapped in a huge world
that knows all.

will a mark i hope to make someday,
really change such a mass
in a big way?

i am nothing really
but a speck of dust,
with some feelings,
as love and lust,

but to the world in which here i turn,

this is not to its concern.


*Sixth Sense*

As I watch my dreams
they become my reality,

my previous reality then
becomes my nightmare.



*Color*

I have seen better days then this one,

for the sun is too bright today,

and the air is too warm,

the children are all outside,
and everything has color.

I have seen better days than this one,

I love the Rain.


*Rush*

they are all rushing -

        they never seem to slow down,
just always in a hurry,

trying to roll in the money.

they have forgotton
love,
life,
and poetry.

they have remembered 
status,
wealth,
and greed.

I watched them as I wrote a poem.
 
        I never forgot.


*Rain*

i stood in the rain
for hours on end,

i heard beautiful music,
somehow, i was the only one.

i watched the people
run from their fear,
as i stood contently in the rain.

i watched you from your window,
you were listening to music,
that i believe i somehow heard.

i watched you for hours,
standing in the rain.

             I love it when it rains.


*i am*

   flowers dance,
      the leaves cry,
          the birds die.

i write.

            i am.

    monkeys fly,
    trees cry,
ducks die.


fed from the man,

   i am.


*greatness comes in all colors/the monkey awakens*


My underwear is turning cold
and blue
and i realize i am alive
so i dance in the rain
as i remove my underwear.

i see pretty things 
and ugly things in
the rain -

when people are too fat it disturbs me.

i go inside
and put on my colored robe
my lover awakens -
he is not me.

he reads his bible as i
wonder how i could ever marry
someone who believes in god -

for religion turns the wisest man into a fool.

he approaches me for his thrill of the day,
but i am not interested in making love to
a monkey who was just reading the bible.

i go back outside to dance in the rain.