God grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway.
The good fortune to run into the ones that I do.
And the eyesight to tell the difference.
Now that I'm older, here's what I've discovered:
I started out with nothing, and I still have
most of it.
My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.
I finally got my head together; now my body is
falling apart!
Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
All reports are in; Life is now officially unfair!
If all is not lost, where is it?
It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
Some days you're the dog; Some days you're the
hydrant.
I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few...!
It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere!
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't
been anywhere.
Only time the world beats a path to your door
is when you're in the bathroom.
When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does
everyone decide to play chess?
The only difference between a rut and a grave is
the depth.
Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
Accidents in the back seat cause...kids!
These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter...
I go somewhere to get something and then wonder
'what I'm hereafter?'
Here!
