On this page you will find...
- Canadian Stock Quotes
- Father's Ashes
- Emails Between Father & Son
Canadian Stock Quotes
Today's Stock Market Report...
______________________________
Helium was up.
Feathers were down.
Paper was stationary.
Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.
Knives were up sharply.
Cows steered into a bull market.
Pencils lost a few points.
Hiking equipment was trailing.
Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.
Weights were up in heavy trading.
Light switches were off.
Mining equipment hit rock bottom.
Diapers remain unchanged.
Shipping lines stayed at an even keel.
The market for raisins dried up.
Coca Cola fizzled.
Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.
Sun peaked at midday.
Balloon prices were inflated.
Scott Tissue touched a new bottom,
...and furnaces were a "HOT" item!!!
Father's Ashes
Stacey makes a new friend at school and invites her home for the first time.
Stacey excuses herself to fetch her Mom and introduce her new friend.
As her friend is standing in the living room next to the fireplace, she picks up the attractive vase on the mantle.
When Stacey returns with her mother, her friend is staring curiously into the vase.
"Oh, those are my father's ashes," Stacey informs her new friend.
However, this startles her so that she drops the vase with a -- ashes and broken vase scattering all around.
After turning three shades of red she stammers out, "Oh, no... I'm, oh!...I, can't... didn't mean to.."
"It's OK dear," the mother says.
"The vase was just from Wal-Mart."
The new friend catches her breath enough to say, "But... but your husband's ashes..."
"Well," the mother says, "looks like he'll just have to get off his lazy butt and get the ashtray from the kitchen from now on!"
Emails Between Father & Son
Dear Dad,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard.
With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love,
Your $on.
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Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy.
Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love,
Dad
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HUMOUR!!!
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