Monday. The next few days were rough for me. On Monday I played sick so that I wouldn’t have to go to school. I’m pretty sure my parents knew I was upset about Zac and so they let me slide. I spent the day watching Lifetime movies, trying to cry about someone whose problems were worse than mine while downing nearly a pint of Ben & Jerry's. Monday night I called Suzy. We hadn’t talked since she went shopping with me for an outfit for the Teen People party. Although that was only a few days ago, it felt like an eternity. So much had happened since, I wasn’t sure I could ever remember it all to tell her.

“Suzy?” I asked.

“Sam! What’s up? Where were you at school today? Did you stay an extra day in New York? How was the party? Omigod, who did you meet? Was Freddy there?!” Suzy was ecstatic, I didn’t know where to start with so many questions! I didn’t want to tell her just then about me and Zac, she was so excited about it all and I knew the second the words slipped from my lips I’d cry.

I laughed, “No, I didn’t stay an extra day. The party was great! Besides Zac, Ike, and Tay I hung out with Jessica Simpson and Nick Lashay. And yes, Freddie was there,” I knew that would make her squeal. Suzy had the hugest crush on Freddie Prince Junior.

“Oh MY GOD! Are you serious? Did you talk to him? Did you touch him!?” Suzy can be such a freak sometimes!

“No, I didn’t! I meant to get his autograph for you, but we left kinda early. I feel really bad, but I think I have a photo of him. I’ll enlarge it to poster size for you, ok?” I bargained. I felt totally awful for forgetting her obsession with him.

“Deal. But I can’t believe you didn’t talk to him!”

“He’s not THAT great Suz!” I joked.

“Please!! He’s all that and MORE!” Suzy bragged and we both giggled, “So if you didn’t stay an extra day in New York, then why weren’t you in school today?” Suzy asked the dreaded question.

“I was sick,” I couldn’t say it.

“Bull. Out partying too late Sunday night huh?”

“We broke up,” I said in one quick breath so it sounded more like ‘web rokah.’

“What?” Suzy inquired.

“I’m not... we’re not together. Anymore,” My forehead and ears got hot as tears gathered and streamed down my face.

“I’m coming over,” she declared and hung up the phone. I curled into a ball in the corner at the base of my bed and rocked back and forth shivering.

“Sam, you did the right thing,” Suzy assured me, “You weren’t comfortable, and you’ll sort things out! It’s not like you and Zac aren’t still friends!”

“But he hasn’t called-”

“It’s been what? Two days?” Suzy was right, but if only she knew how much longer it felt!

“I guess so,” I moped.

“Stand up straight! Walk with pride!” Suzy ordered, and like a soldier obeying the drill sergeant I straightened without question, “Billy Krane is checking you out!” She whispered while poking me in the rib. I flinched, then glanced to the tall handsome sophomore. He was looking at me, actually, he looked like he was mentally undressing me. It made me feel uncomfortable, but I smiled anyway to please Suzy. Maybe I needed to be more social in school. Billy Krane wasn’t a bad place to start either. Almost every freshman and sophomore girl swooned over Billy. He winked at me. “Nice going!” Suzy congratulated me.

“I think I’m going to be sick!” I grabbed my stomach and headed directly to the girls bathroom. I splashed my face with water and felt much better for it. I wasn’t really sick, just the whole scene with Billy made me nauseous. I mean, am I supposed to like that? He winked at me, he pictured me naked, is that normal? Why don’t I know the answers to these questions!!

Wednesday. I agonized over Zac the next few days at school. I couldn’t concentrate on my work only: why hasn’t he called and what am I really searching for. Then there was Billy. He called me Wednesday night and asked me out for Friday. I said yes. I figured that I should give him a chance. I could have been wrong, easily. And maybe, just maybe, a date with Billy would take my mind off Zac, if even for a minute!

Thursday. I’m still thinking about Zac all the time. I’m beginning to think about Taylor too. What ever came over me that night? And why did that have to ruin things between me and Zac? Or should there even be something like that between me and Zac? More questions. But answers? Not sure yet. Date with Billy tomorrow night. We’re going to the movies. I know, so original, but it’s been a while since I’ve seen a movie so if all else goes bad at least there’s that. Suzy and Glinda came over Thursday afternoon to hang out.

“So I hear you’ve got a big date on Friday night?” Glinda said, prying me for details.

“I guess,” I replied flatly.

“You know, the most popular sophomore guy is after her, no big deal,” Suzy said sarcastically.

“Girl! I’d love to be in your shoes!” Glinda babbled cheerfully, “Billy Krane is a GOD!”

I rolled my eyes. Suzy picked up her lovely sarcasm again, “Sam’s only used to dating rock stars.” She was definitely getting on my nerves now. Sometimes Suzy can be so sweet and totally there for me, but other times she seems to be the furthest from ever understanding how I feel! Not to mention it was a little embarrassing in front of Glinda who was a sassy sophomore and never gave me the time of day until I began to hang out with Suzy. All the same, I took my shoes off and put them in front of Glinda. Neither her or Suzy seemed to get my joke. She wanted to be in my shoes.... oh well, not funny I guess.

I decided to liven up my gloomy mood and act the way Glinda and Suzy did: excited. Maybe if I acted excited I could fool myself into actually believing it, “Well...” I began, “Maybe you guys could help me pick an outfit?” Both their faces glowed, the mention of clothing was magical. We trampled up the stairs to my room and Suzy and Glinda paraded through my closet and drawers turbulently searching for the “perfect outfit.” I just sat on my bed in utter amazement of their grand amusement as they each would find and reject a shirt, skirt, or pair of pants. Nearly ten minutes later they’d finally narrowed down my wardrobe to a single outfit. A red cardigan with a matching red tank top for underneath and dark blue Union Bay jeans.

“Yeah, this will do,” Glinda clapped her hands at her accomplishment, “Leave like four buttons of the cardigan undone to, you know, show off a little.”

“Okay,” I shined a completely hollow smile which seemed to please Glinda and Suzy. I knew I would definitely keep those buttons up.

“Well anyway, my work here is complete!” Glinda was triumphant, “I better get going.”

“Me too,” Suzy agreed.

“See you tomorrow Sam and if I don’t have fun with Billy!” Glinda called as she exited my room.

“Hey Sam,” Suzy said softly as she approached me, “Are you feeling at all better about Zac?”

“Yeah, a little, it’s hard, but hopefully this will help,” I said honestly.

“I hoped so too. Listen, if you need to talk, you know you can come to me. I just want you to be happy, that’s why I was pushing this whole Billy thing...”

“I know,” I nodded, “thanks.”

“Okay, see you tomorrow Sam.”

Friday. When Friday rolled around I actually began to feel some anticipation for the date with Billy. But I must reiterate some. I still totally miss every last thing about Zac and wished he would call. It’s been a week now since I’ve seen him. I wonder if he misses me as much as I miss him or if maybe he’s mad at me. I hoped he wouldn’t be mad, but I’m not sure what to think about it.

I don’t wear the diamond pendant that he gave me anymore because it reminds me too much of that night. Just last week! It wasn’t even a week ago! It lays in it’s box on my nightstand. Sometimes at night I open the box and just stare into the pendant. It’s so beautiful and means so much, staring into it gives me a strange sort of comfort.

Friday night: things become a little more interesting. Billy called to be sure that I could make it tonight. His older brother Jarred would be coming to pick me up. Jarred is a senior. He calls himself “buff stuff” because he is the quarterback for our football team and therefore thinks he’s better than everyone else. He’s not all that great looking but girls go for him anyway because he is the quarterback of the football team and totally full of himself which somehow makes him better. I don’t understand that at all. I was dressed in the outfit “perfectly picked” for the occasion by Glinda and Suzy by a quarter to seven. I still had fifteen minutes before Jarred was going to come so I decided to waste the time playing a video game. This is a much enjoyed past time and every time I bring it out I never seem to remember why or when my addiction to it deterred. In the middle of my second game I got a phone call. I figured it would be Billy again. What could he want now?

“Hello?” I said slightly irritated since I was in the middle of a pretty good game.

“Hey Sam!” The voice was familiar, but it really didn’t sound like Billy. I couldn’t quite place this voice.

“Whose this?” I asked, but then I knew. The uneasy feeling draped over me like the moon over the sun in a solar eclipse. Darkness. Confusion. Panic. I knew the voice, but why was he calling me? Before he could reply the words slipped from my lips, “Taylor. What’s up...”