Ops' question rang in his head.  He loved three women in Section:  Madeline - as misguided as that was - Simone who thought more of revenge than his love and Nikita who had been torn from him by Jurgen.  Only after the Armel mission did he realize that she did still love him.

Ops had hit so close to the truth - he really hadn't tried with Nikita.  At first, he tried, but being drawn to the light in her made it impossible.  He had spoken the truth to Ops - she was stronger than any of the others.  Her innocence made her so.

Thinking back over the last two years, he reviewed each mission.

Her first mission was one which was literally a test of fire - if she failed she would have been canceled.  Whether or not Ops would have canceled him as well is debatable, but possible.  Ops had been holding him responsible for Nikita's behavior ever since he bucked at canceling her.  Taking Nikita to that restaurant seemed the easiest way to prove her with the least amount of risk.

He had instructed Nikita to obtain the PDA that one of Van Vactor's men had in his brief case. He never counted on her not shooting Vactor's man.  Rubbing his hands through his hair, he remembered the look in Nikita's eyes when she entered the car - angry and disdainful.  She had berated  him for  "pretending" to take her out.  If she only knew the emotional turmoil he was feeling - if he only admitted it to himself.

The first attempt to grab Van Vactor was at the hotel.  This was truly her first Section test.  Madeline was there to evaluate her.  They dressed her in a maid's attire.  Only years of self-discipline kept him from staring at her while she undressed.  He had explained the profile to the entire team.  Nikita's responsibility was to blow the door from an adjoining room.  As she was putting the plastique on the door, one of  Vactor's men came in.  Although he had ordered her to shoot the man, she refused - believing what Vactor's man  had said to her.  She knocked him out instead before leaving the room.

Operations had literally raked him over the coal for that one.  Michael summoned Nikita to his office.  As he paced back and forth, he tried to get a hold of his temper.  Michael smiled at the memory - even then she could get under his skin without even trying.  If it had been another operative, he would have canceled him.  He had even had to yell at her to get her to stand.  Nikita seemed unimpressed with his "Section One" speech.  She had tried to explain to him that she couldn't do what he wanted her to do.  When he asked why not, she replied that she wasn't who he thought she was - a killer.  For some reason this simple statement infuriated him - he told her that when he believed that, she would be canceled. During this tirade, Nikita never showed fear - he had to admire her for that.

Birkoff managed to find Van Vactor as he was leaving the country.  In the ensuing melee, Van Vactor and several of his men fled into a building, Nikita and her partner followed them in.  Noticing some stairs that lead to underground tunnels, they cautiously descended.  As they made their way along and Nikita's partner stepped over a small rising, one of Vector's men grabbed Nikita's partner.

Vactor did not recognize Nikita.  He even remarked that he would have remembered those blue eyes.  He attempted to make her talk by threatening her partner.  He kneecapped Nikita's partner - she wouldn't talk.  Taking a different tactic, Vactor's man held a knife to her throat while Vector shouted questions at her.  Michael thought back to that day as he watched all of this taking place from above.  At the time he questioned why he felt the urgent need to rescue Nikita.  Jumping down, he shot the man holding Nikita.  Her instincts obeying her Section training, Nikita disarmed the other man and pointed the gun she had recovered at Vactor.  Acting out of character, he asked her if she was okay.  Nikita did not answer, but pointed her gun at him.  Michael remembered being shocked - he never had a trainee turn on him before.  Niktia pulled the trigger killing the man sneaking up behind him.

To this day, the look on Nikita's face after killing to protect him haunted Michael.  He knew at that moment that Nikita had told the truth in his office - she had never killed anyone before that day.  He just stood there, while the other team members came in and took control of the situation, shocked at what he had turned this innocent woman into.  From that day, he made a vow to himself to watch over her.  He could not give her her life back, but he could look after her and make sure she came to no harm.  He also knew that Madeline must have known about Nikita's innocence.  When she handed him Nikita's file there was a glimmer in her eye.  At the time he thought that this was Madeline's way of getting him over Simone's death - he never thought that she would go this far.

It still made Michael angry when he thought of it.  Madeline had been his trainer in seduction.  He had fallen in love with her only to find out in the most brutal way possible that it was part of his "training."  He never meant anything to her.  Throughout his years in Section, Michael had used the same ploy over and over again with female operatives.  It never failed.  But from the beginning, Michael never used it with Nikita.  At the time he thought it was because of how Madeline gave Nikita to him and also it was six months after Simone's "death."  He had promised himself that he would mourn his wife properly.  He now realized that he had started to fall for her from the day he "introduced" himself in Entry.  Although he ignored his feelings, he had felt drawn to her - taking extra time in the training area, watching as Walter showed her how to shoot, actually sparring with her.

Michael had to smile, at the beginning, she was no match for him.  He would pin her to the mat, gazing into her eyes.  He would hold her there for seemingly long periods of time - not realizing that the others where starring at them - including Ops and Madeline.  One evening, about a year after Nikita came into Section,  as he was leaving Section, he heard her in the practice area.  Wondering who she was sparing with, he walked over.  Seeing her working out alone, he took his jacket off and joined her.  Spinning around she saw him standing there.  He saw anger in her eyes as she lunged at him.  Sweeping her legs out from underneath her, she landed on her back.  Before Nikita could get up, Michael pinned her to the ground by sitting on her and holding her arms behind her head.  His eyes roamed her face - lips to eyes and back again.  At the second pass, he saw that her lips was parted and that her breathing was heavier and not from her workout.  As he felt his manhood stir, he wanted to kiss those lips and make love to her right there.  For the first time in a long time, Michael panicked.  He knew he shouldn't have these feelings, and yet they seemed so natural.  After that, Michael limited his contact with Nikita to watching.  Never again did he spar with Nikita,  and he had hoped that his arousal that night had gone unnoticed by her.

To this day, he never had the nerve to ask her.  For the next several months, he kept the promise he made to himself - he watched over her.  When her "friend" Julie made an appearance in her life, Michael immediately began to check Julie out. When he found that she was missing, he knew that the woman posing as Julie was an imposter.  He wasn't sure who she was exactly, but knew that she was possibly an assassin that Section knew might be out to kill Miovich, a visiting strongman from Eastern Europe.  Going to her apartment to "search" for Julie, he stated loud enough that Miovich was arriving in one hour.  When the attempt on Miovich's life happened at the airport, he knew for sure who "Julie" really was.  By not pushing Nikita to admit that Julie was in the apartment, he more than likely saved her from cancellation.  He knew that Nikita's apartment was monitored.  He never counted on Nikita being taken by the other side.  When he went to her apartment that night, it had been to capture "Julie."   When he found the apartment empty, his worst fears came true.  Fortunately, Nikita had been wearing the boots with the tracker that Walter had placed in them a few days ago.  When his panel went off, Michael raced to find her.

Moving slowly about the warehouse, he heard her screams.  Following those sounds, he made his way to the innermost rooms.  Seeing her through the dirty window, he watched as she fought to hold onto the man she had caught between her legs.  Michael heard running directly beneath him.  He could see through the boards another man running to help. The man Nikita had captured kept screaming for the other to shoot - he did - killing his comrade.   As the man with the gun approached Nikita, Michael knew that he only had one choice - to smash through the glass and shoot on the way down.  Michael knew he was a good shot, but wasn't certain he could hit his target without hitting Nikita as well.  Going through the glass, he made a mental note of where the man was standing.  When he stood up, the man was dead and Nikita was unharmed.

He looked at her and saw the burn marks on her body.  He felt guilty - he should have made her give "Julie" up when he went to her apartment the first time.   But he hadn't.  To keep her from harm, Michael feed Nikita the story that she would tell when she debriefed.  Nikita was confused as to why he was doing this.  He was certain she was also confused by what he knew was showing in his eyes no matter how he tried to hide it - he cared.  Michael remembered that all he wanted to do then was to hold her to him and comfort her.

Michael shook his head - how did he ever let it get that far?  Nikita's next assignment was to get close to Alex Chandler, a child-slaver.  When Madeline first broached the subject with him, he was against it.  How could Nikita, a child of the streets herself, manage to give the appearance of fondness for a man who sold street kids?  Madeline smiled at him and said simply "We don't tell her."  Michael balked at the idea.  He knew when she found out the truth she would be devastated.  After her first "date" with Chandler and her debriefing with Madeline, Ops and himself Nikita asked why they were going after Chandler.  She was simply told that he laundered money.
After Nikita left the briefing area, he once more told Ops and Madeline that he thought that they should tell her the truth.  Ops just looked at him.  Madeline turned around and said, "She likes him."  Ops answer and tone of his voice made Michael made him uncomfortable.  The thought of Nikita with Chandler  made him sick to his stomach.  If he could have been honest with himself, he would have recognized the stirrings of jealously.  Her next date with Chandler was even worse.  He had to listen to her getting closer to Chandler.  Not being able to take anymore, he left Section and went to wait for Nikita in her apartment.  When she came home, it was 3am and Nikita was visibly tipsy.

Michael remembered that night as if it was yesterday.  The first thing she did was pick up the cat that Chandler had given her.  Although he liked animals, Michael would have liked to have thrown that cat out the window solely because Chandler had given it to her.  He smiled and wondered whatever happened to that cat.

When Nikita finally noticed him there, she wasn't startled.  It was almost as if she knew he was there before she walked in.  Slowly walking towards him, she stopped and turned on the stereo and started to undress before him.  Michael let out a sigh, little did she know that when he got up to turn the music off, he had fantasized ripping that dress right off her.  Instead, he acted like a jealous moron - even told her to get rid of the cat.

To be continued......
 

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