I have stubbed my toe times today.

Confession

These pages are maintained by two amateur idiots who create drivel (and lots of it too). It is a story what we (there are three of us, confused?) have writted over the e-mail air-waves. The text appears in three different styles, one for each author. Eeeeeyyyuurrr! I've just gobbed all over me keyboard, yuck.

Hello mum!

All complaints, praise and death threats to:

Bartholomew D. Batplucker III (The D is for Dong know what I mean ladies.) Or his frenzied companion Schtup

Let your fingers do the surfin' Yellow Pages:

The owners of this web site are the proud winners of the
 1893 Spurious Compounds

Award

Dung Quest

Toasty

Fire Welcome my friends Fire

Come in, take a seat next to the fire.

Not that close.

Quick! Sponge, fetch the fire extinguisher!

No not me you fool that burning charlie over there!

What are you doing? You're supposed to spray him with it not use it to beat out the flames.


That's better, now rest your charred remains beside me.

Yes, on the rickety, splintery old wreck of a stool.

Yes the one with the nails sticking up.

Now are we sitting comfortably?

Good then I'll-


STOP FIDGETING!


I'll tell you a tale.......




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