Title: A Vulcan Does Not Author: Istannor Series: TOS Part: 1/1 Rating: [PG13] Codes: Summary: Disclaimer: These are the characters of Paramount and Viacom, they own them, I only check 'em out from the library. I promise to bring 'em back. Thank-you to the Beta Dominitrix Editor, Mary Ellen, the Doc of Science. If there are no errors, thank her, not me. Feedback to Istannor@Aol.com Glossary from Prof. K.V. Zvelebil + Dr. M.J. Zvelebil Ah'Hrak: the forge A'Kweth: the hidden A'Kweth ahn: the hidden weapon arei'mnu: mastery of passion and emotion arivne: denotes a state of unity between matter, energy, and thought ahn: weapon Heya: a cry of surprise and delight kaadith: what is, is lasha: precious stone Ni'var: duality of things, 2 halves that make a unity T'hy'la: brother, friend, lover, life-long companion A Vulcan Does Not The COM at the enclave outside Shi'kahr rang emphatically. A hand reached quickly to answer, and to prevent the noise from disturbing the Lord and Lady of the house. The screen opened; the message and the messenger were obviously important. Saylak, Sarek's personal assistant, buzzed the library immediately. He silently sent a word up to the Katras of his ancestors in supplication. Let it not be news of the young master's death. "Ambassador, there is a call for you... from Gol." Sarek looked up from the desk where he was reviewing treaty papers for the next session with several non-member planets. They suddenly lost all importance. "Forward the call here." He leaned back in his chair and lightly stroked a single finger against the side of his face. The COM on his desk beeped. The face of T'Par leapt into view. "Sarek." "T'Par. I greet you and offer you the peace of my home. You have news?" He fought down a sense of panic. He would have known if his son had died; perhaps it was Kirk. His stomach contracted with concealed anxiety at that thought. Without Kirk, there would be no hope for Spock's return from Gol. She began without preamble, in the manner of Vulcan. "We require your presence at Gol. Captain Kirk and your son have caused a problem. As expected, the Captain refused to abandon Spock, but your son has proven most stubborn. The human has been scorched by the flames of the desert. We have brought him inside Gol. He requires medical attention." Sarek came forward in his seat. "Is he seriously injured?" "Yes." "I am on my way, T'Par. I require you to do all you can to maintain the human's life. I value his life as I would a son of my flesh." T'Par waved a hand at him in dismissal. "Your admonition has no value, Sarek. We understand the worth of the human far better than you. He is safe for the moment. He requires extensive medical assistance, far more than we can render him at Gol. Come, retrieve your son's T'hy'la... and, Sarek -- we charge you to do far better with this child than you have with your other two." Sarek bowed his head in acknowledgment as the blade pierced him in the heart of truth. "I hear and obey thee, T'Par. What of Spock?" "Spock is damaged and requires healing. He still seeks to protect the only thing he values and in doing so he has risked destroying everything. He has worth, Sarek, but there is much yet for him to learn. We will allow him to stay here and learn what he must. "Come, retrieve James Kirk, and return to your compound. Treat him as flesh of your flesh, Sarek. His soul has been wounded and it is your responsibility to succor him." "I will be there." He broke the connection. Amanda walked in; her look told him she had sensed his distress through their bond. "Wife, prepare yourself. We go to Gol to save the life of James Kirk. " Her face flashed a look of anguish, quickly suppressed. She turned without a word and rushed from the room. They were in the air car and on their way in five minutes. Amanda turned to her husband. "Tell me." "Our son would not leave Gol and Kirk would not leave our son. T'Par called to say that Kirk is in need of urgent medical attention. We are instructed to bring him back to our compound and give him assistance. I have instructed our healer to meet us at Gol. She will accompany us back to Shi'kahr and remain with us at the compound until James Kirk is stable." "Why does T'Par think she needs to tell us to help James Kirk? We would do that regardless of her desire. What have they done to him, Husband?" "I do not know. However, we will find out shortly." They both turned to the windows and watched the desert fly by. Never before had it seemed so immense. Amanda's thoughts turned to an earlier time, an earlier crisis. -------------- "I struck our son in rage." Sarek turned and looked at her sadly. She could feel him probe her thoughts through their Bond. "You were pushed beyond your capacity to accept." "No, my husband, I was enraged that our son would risk your life for James Kirk's sake, and the sake of duty. I would do it again in the same circumstances. I want you to live." "Amanda, he does as he should. I would ask nothing less of him." "Then you both are fools," she hissed. Sarek silently held out his two fingers to share minds with her. She shook her head violently in negation. "No, you will not distract me. He is wrong, you are wrong and I am tired of putting up with this insanity." They heard footsteps and Sarek motioned her to silence. It was McCoy. "Doctor." "Ambassador, Lady Amanda." He moved towards the bio monitor. "Spock is getting prepped. He will be in here shortly and we will begin the surgery then." Sarek looked at his wife who spoke first. "I thought our son refused to leave the bridge since Kirk was injured." "Jim went to the bridge and told Spock he was okay enough to work while Spock helped you out." "Doctor," Sarek commented, "that is a falsehood. I heard you describe the extent of Kirk's injuries. He almost died." "I know that, Jim knows that, and you two know that. Keep the information to yourselves." McCoy's piercing blue eyes held them both. "If you screw this up, I swear I will never forgive either of you. I don't care what the hell is going on in your family, but James Kirk and Spock would die for each other and to spare each other. Jim knows that killing you out of a sense of duty will hurt Spock past Spock's ability to stand it, so, you are damn well gonna live. My Captain, my best friend, is risking his life to make sure your son doesn't commit patricide. You are going to smile and go along with the program and I am going to save your damn life, Ambassador. Do you understand me?" Sarek answered. "You are quite clear in your communications, Doctor. We will not "screw up"." McCoy nodded. "Here comes Spock. This is between us, keep it that way." ------------------------------- The desert flashed by, and Sarek remembered. "Wife, why are you crying?" "Look." Amanda stood in the door and watched her son play a game of tag football in the sand with his cousins and his Captain. Spock had brought Kirk to Vulcan after several missions which had stressed the Captain almost to the breaking point. Amanda and Sarek had watched the Human gradually relax, and begin to smile again. Kirk's smiles made Spock relax. Now, both their son and his Captain looked carefree and at peace. Somehow James Kirk had finagled five of their relatives, and Spock, into playing with a ball in the sand. Spock threw the ball to a yelling James Kirk. As they watched, the youngest cousin's pet Sehlat bounded through the sand and intercepted the ball before the human could catch it. The creature took the human down in a tumble. Spock raced to check on his Captain who was now wrestling for the ball with Oolong, the Sehlat. The Sehlat was a pure carnivore and a deadly hunter, except when it tried to keep a ball away from its friends. Spock and Kirk began to wrestle the Sehlat, who jumped up and fled with the prize locked in its mouth. All the cousins began to chase the animal, attempting to recover the ball. It was hilarious to Amanda, and still she cried. Sarek looked on in absolute mystification. "Why you are crying, Wife? I admit their behavior is lacking in proper decorum, but they are doing no-one any harm." Amanda turned to him and smiled a smile of pure joy, the tears still streaked on her face. "I am crying, my mystified Love, because for the first time in untold years our son is happy." She wiped at her face. "These are tears of pleasure, Husband." Sarek turned to watch the human and six Vulcans chase the Sehlat around the front of the compound. Small clouds of sand were kicked up into the air by the falling and tripping bodies. Oolong refused to be caught. Calls of: "Oolong, come back; Oolong, stop," and instructions from the Vulcans, yelled to each other, on how to intercept the animal and the ball, echoed through the compound. Loud calls and the sounds of human laughter were heard in a normally sedate world. James Kirk was laughing for them all. --------------------- The aircar sped through the desert. Its velocity was not high enough to suit Sarek. The thought was illogical, but true, he admitted to himself. He continued to watch for a sight of Gol . . . and held his wife's hand . . .for comfort. T'Par stood in the doorway while the healers worked on James Kirk. Spock hovered near by, slowly rocking back and forth. Standing next to her was a robed figure. The figure spoke: "His calls threatened to overwhelm even my shields. I do not know how much more of this your less- experienced acolytes could have tolerated. I have never heard such a mental scream from a non-telepath. Is it possible all humans have this ability?" "Doubtful. Kirk's contact with Spock has awakened something deep within him. We suspect he has always known of it, but abstained from its use. Now their mutual sanity is at stake; he does what he must." "I must return to Shi'kahr." The second figure turned to leave. "T'Pau, will thee not stay to see this thing through to its conclusion?" "I think not." She turned and looked down at the human stretched out on the platform. The last rays of daylight shone through the high windows in the walls of Gol and cast eerie shadows over his Vulcan desert robe. The human did not move and one had to look closely to be certain he was still alive. "He is an agreeable male to look upon. If it had been me instead of Spock on the Enterprise..." "Thee would be living in Iowa raising four half-breed children and expecting thy fifth while he worked on Earth, and the great plan would have been for naught." "Surely not five." "We remember thee when thee were thirty, T'Pau. Thee were insatiable and he is stunning... for a human." "He is that. You are probably correct, five." They fell into an amused silence. "Are you certain of this plan, T'Par, and are the First Humans sure it is Kirk and Spock who will do what must be done?" "We have had this discussion many times before. It is certain. They are the keys that will unite our two people forever. There is no doubt that Vulcan will follow where Kirk leads if Spock, son of Sarek, is bonded to his Forge in the old way. There can be no dishonor in this. Vulcan will serve Human and Human will serve Vulcan. All the wounds will be healed and we will disappear into each other as predicted." T'Pau grunted, but forbore further comment. "What is the new timetable?" "Thanks to Nogura's blind interference, we are ahead of schedule. It is only 336 years now." "So long before we are free at last." "Not so long as the next few days will be for your Grandson, my Sister. He will not leave his vigil and he will not relent. He is confused in the depths of his being." "I trust to your resourcefulness, my Sister. I was able to handle Spock's disastrous Pon Farr without assistance." A hint of sarcasm touched her voice. "That is an unfair comparison. McCoy is nowhere near to influence his mind. You had an advantage." "I had T'Pring, and never a more conniving plan have I had the displeasure of witnessing. If she did not want my Grandson she could have broken the betrothal without any disagreement from Spock, and he would have been drawn to Kirk as a full Bondmate, or chosen another female and had Kirk as his Warrior-mate. If she had married Spock and told him her preference, he would have allowed it, and he still would have had the same choices. Her way was illogical and ...cruel. I will not forgive her that. See them through this, Sister. Too much depends on their continued existence." "Understood. Live long and Prosper, Sister." "Thee also." T'Pau left as silently as she had arrived. T'Par allowed herself a small glow of satisfaction. It was rewarding to see the great plan finally reach its next stage. Her thoughts were interrupted by an acolyte. "Teacher, Sarek and Amanda are here." "Bring them." She waited. It was not long before Sarek and Amanda rushed into the room. They both bowed to her. "We may forego the ritual greeting. You have our permission to go to James Kirk." Sarek motioned behind him and a healer entered and crossed directly to the human. Amanda began to walk towards Spock, who now sat against the wall with his head in his hands, but Sarek put out a hand to stop her. Amanda turned to Sarek with the look of anger. "He is my son." "He is an acolyte of Gol now. We may not approach him. Amanda, T'Par has broken a tradition of thousands of years, allowing us this far. We may not insult her hospitality any further by talking to one of her acolytes. Spock belongs to T'Par." She looked as if she would go regardless. "I beseech thee, Wife. It is the way of Vulcan." She stared at Sarek and then turned in silent appraisal towards T'Par. T'Par said nothing. "I wish to see James Kirk," Amanda stated, and walked to him. "Thee have met thy equal in that one, Sarek. We wonder what she ever saw in thee. " Sarek watched Amanda walk away. "I am grateful for the blurring of her sight. She has been a source of contentment to me since first we met." He turned to T'Par. "What has happened here?" "The Human approached Gol in the approved fashion and remained at the gate for five days screaming psychically and vocally for your son to come out. He did so each day until exhaustion claimed him each night. He has been burned by the desert and rejected by your son." Sarek closed his eyes and sought control. "Spock would not speak with him, even knowing what Kirk endured for his sake?" "Rush not to judgment, Sarek. Spock pursues an honorable goal." "What goal could possibly excuse flight from his responsibilities, his family and his own T'hy'la?" "That is Spock's tale to tell." Sarek shook his head in frustration. "He continues to be a disappointment to me." "Then thee are a fool. James Kirk will forgive him before thee will. Seek the Human for understanding of thy son, Sarek. Thee require a guide to lead thee to the truth of thy own child. We take our leave now. Thee may take Kirk and go in peace. When he awakens tell him the countenance of Gol looks upon him with favor." She left. Sarek sighed. T'Par had been as insulting to him as a Tellurite in war-rage. Perhaps she was correct, and he misjudged his son once again. Unfortunately, he no longer had sufficient information about his son to judge him appropriately. They no longer were openly hostile to each other: Kirk's actions on the journey to Babel had helped partially mend that rift. Yet the wound still festered, and despite Sarek's recent attempts to heal it, Spock had not forgiven him. He went to stand beside Amanda. She looked down on James Kirk through eyes brimming with tears. They watched the healer work efficiently and quickly to return some semblance of life to the human. "Sarek, he looks barely alive. Vulcan has burned him almost beyond recognition." Amanda turned to watch Spock who sat silently against the wall, rocking back and forth. "What have they done to my son?" "I do not know, but I suspect he has done the damage to himself. Healer," he called out, "are you prepared to depart? " "Yes, I have done all I can here. How will we get him back to the car?" "I will carry him," Sarek answered. He moved to pick Kirk up. Suddenly, Spock rushed to the platform and lifted the Human in his arms. With a look of defiance, he turned and walked out of the room towards the waiting car. Sarek and Amanda could hear soft mutterings as they followed. "T'hy'la, I do this for you. Forgive me. You are my price. I have paid in blood. You are my price. Forgive me." Amanda was weeping silently when they came out under the night sky of the desert. Spock settled the Human into the car. His hand lingered on the forehead, and one finger traced the outline of the rounded ear. He stepped back and turned to his father. "Please, Sarek, he who was my Father, do not tell him I came out for him. It is better he think I never answered his calls. I require your pledge that you will not tell him. If he knows I did this, he will be back at the walls as soon as he can walk. The next time he will continue until he dies, or I surrender. I will not surrender...and he will die." "I do not understand you, my Son; I do not think I ever will." Sarek took a sighing breath. "You have my pledge, Spock." "She who was my Mother, will you pledge the same?" "No, I do not. I will make my own decision about what is right." Amanda demanded of him in a voice racked with pain, "Why, why do this to him, of all people, Spock?" The look on his face was a mute testimony to his own agony. "Of all people, he is the only one I must do this to. It is for the best. You will understand... one day. Telling him of my presence will serve no purpose, it will only continue this pain for us all. Live long and prosper, she who was my Mother. " They watched his retreating back as Amanda let her tears flow and Sarek held her. They rode in silence to the enclave outside of Shi'kahr. Two days later, James Kirk awoke. Amanda and Sarek sat beside Kirk and watched him struggle back to awareness. His eyes opened slowly, reluctantly. It was obvious he was dreading what he would find. When full consciousness finally took possession of him, he anxiously scanned the room for the face he clearly ached to see ; it was not there. A moan escaped his lips and a single tear ran from the corner of his left eye down to the pillow. Hoarsely: "Why am I still alive?" Amanda gasped softly. Sarek leaned forward. "James, your journey is not yet completed. Do not seek to end your life. You have so many more things to see and do. You must get well. We are your family and we will not fail you." Kirk turned his face away. "You don't understand. Just let me go." He struggled to get up, but he was too weak. Amanda was able to push him back down. "Please, I'll leave and I won't bother you again." There was no hope left in his voice. Kirk's irrepressible energy was gone. Amanda leaned forward and began to softly stroke the side of his face. That kindness was his undoing. He began to cry uncontrollably, great shuddering sobs that tore at his bandages. "I swear, I never meant to hurt him. I never meant to drive him away. I am so sorry. Please forgive me. I don't even know what I did. It's all my fault... my fault. I do this to everyone, you see. I drive them all away... or I kill them. At least I brought him home. Forgive me... I'm sorry... I can't seem to stop. I don't want to cause you any more trouble... I'm sorry. I don't cry, this is not me. I can't stop, what's wrong with me?" Sarek closed his eyes and touched the Human's face lightly. "You suffer from a bleeding Familial Link which calls out for its other end, your burns are not yet healed, and my son's betrayal has caused you pain. Are tears not appropriate for any one of these reasons? You are not Vulcan, James, and we would not wish you to be. I have seen Vulcans driven to distraction by lesser insults. Do not be disconcerted, only your family sees your pain, and in us it is absorbed and lessened." Kirk's tears began to flow freely and silently. Amanda gathered him into her arms and held him. Occasionally his body shook from his sobs. "Shh, Lasha, be calm in your soul. We will care for you. He cares for you, precious one; he cares for you more than his freedom or his own life. I know he does. One day he will come back and you must be well and whole for him then." Kirk clutched her and moaned softly. "Why? I never tried to hurt him. I let him into my soul. He tried to break our link. I won't let him go. I won't. We can get past this." He shuddered again. "I'm sorry," he said, finally looking at Amanda and Sarek and weakly trying to wipe his eyes. Amanda brought a warm towel and helped him clean his face. Slowly, visibly, Kirk gathered his thoughts and brought himself under control. Sarek sat and wrestled with his own pain at what this human was experiencing, and with his own...anger at the actions of his son. This Human had sacrificed and bled for Spock without hesitation. Kirk did not deserve this treatment. "You will remain here until you are well. This is your home; you are our son now." Sarek leaned forward and gently touched Kirk's meld points. "Rest. We will speak at length when you are stronger." He watched the human's eyes slowly close as natural sleep captured him. Amanda stared at the handsome face, lined with anguish even in sleep. "He still looks so young to have endured so much." She sighed. "Husband, he has already begun to forgive our son. It is time you do the same." "A Vulcan does not..." "Don't you dare say that! I know all too well what a Vulcan does. I watched you and our son pull opposite ways for years until you disowned him. I watched our son be willing to let you die rather than disappoint his Captain. I watched his Captain be willing to die rather than let your son kill you. I will not hear another word about what a Vulcan does not do. I have lain with you for 40 years. I have quenched your flames during Pon Farr. I have watched first one son, then the other leave me. "And I have seen Spock be happy. The only thing that ever made him happy is James Kirk. We didn't make him happy; I didn't make him happy; you didn't make him happy. You will learn from James Kirk and you will not drive my son away again; I will not allow you to. Open your mind and your heart -- for once stop hiding behind Vulcan logic. There is no logic in the destruction of our family. There is no logic in Spock's betrayal of James. James Kirk is the only honest one among us. At least he has the strength and the will to fight for what he wants, and to openly admit that he loves our son. Can you...will you... do less than that?" Sarek sent his shock at her outburst through their bond, but she did not relent. Finally he bowed his head, acknowledging her truth. "No, I cannot do less. It is... difficult. I have failed you and Spock. I will not fail James Kirk." He reached up and offered her two fingers. Slowly, she reached out and twined her own around them. "I am lost if you do not still desire me," he whispered. Amanda relented. "You are my heart and my soul. I love you today as I did on our first day." She stood and pulled her husband up to stand in front of her. "Come, you must notify Starfleet Command that we have their Captain, or else there will be a fleet circling Vulcan looking for their lost one." "I would find that amusing if it were not true. Nogura is adamant; he wishes Kirk to become his successor. It is possible that he *would* send a fleet after his crown prince." Amanda laughed. "Then you should hurry before Vulcan goes to war over a sleeping human." Sarek turned and began to walk slowly from the room. He stopped, looked back at his wife, and allowed a gentle twinkle to light his eyes. "Whatever fates brought you to me, Wife, I wish you to know that I thank them each and every day." She sent a jolt through the Bond, making Sarek gasp. "I love you, too. Go now, I will watch over the new addition to our family. I will be here when he awakens." Sarek nodded and left to make the call. Amanda turned back to the sleeping Human. "Oh, my son, what have you done? James Kirk deserved far better from you." Hearing no answer to her query, she sat down to begin her long vigil. She watched for hours. Occasionally, she would wipe his face. His tears still flowed while he slept. The healer relieved her near dawn. It was six hours later when she entered the room again to find the bed empty.