Title: Revelations Author: Istannor Series: TOS Part: 1/1 Rating: [PG13] Codes: Summary: Part 8 in the Years of Gol series. The previous installments are on my webpage. Disclaimer: These are the characters of Paramount and Viacom, they own them, I only check 'em out from the Library. I promise to bring 'em back, if'n they will respect them. Thank-you to the Beta Dominitrix Editor, Mary Ellen, the Doc of Science. If there are no errors, thank her, not me. Feedback to Istannor@Aol.com Revelations Kirk slept fitfully. S'Alal-Doe rose and silently wiped his brow. His eyes shot open. "I'm sorry, " he whispered. "Let me go. I'm tired of fighting." "No, young one," S'Alal-Doe whispered, "you must live for us all. Spock will never leave Gol, if you do not call him out. I will not allow you to perish, if I must bind you here myself." He began to struggle weakly. Her fingers covered his face, touching, burning him, until he felt the darkness descend and welcome him back into its embrace. In the adjoining sitting room, Sarek and Amanda watched with barely contained curiosity while Ambassador Little settled herself comfortably. Sarek could sense a change in the air of the room. His time sense became confused, and the motes of light that danced around them slowed until he was able to pick out individual specks of dust floating in the light from the window. The air seemed to cool and he fought the impulse to rise and adjust the room thermostat. He knew its settings were the right ones. His perceptions were gradually being altered.He sent a question to his wife. < I feel the change also, my Husband.> "T'Pau, I will tell what is only my right to tell. If you feel the need to add more, I bow to you." The matriarch nodded curtly. Jean Little turned toward Sarek and Amanda, closed her eyes, and began to take slow deep breaths. Finally, she opened her eyes. "You have questions." Her voice was slow and deeper than before, echoing faintly in the room. "You may ask them. I will tell you what you will understand." "Who are you?" Sarek asked. "That is a difficult question, and an answer that may not help you. I am Jean Little. I am one of The Chosen. I left willingly. I serve." "Whom do you serve?" Amanda asked. "Humans. I serve life. I serve purpose." "Are you Human?" "This is not about me. I won't answer that." "Is James Kirk Human?" Sarek persisted. "Yes." "Is he your real cousin?" "Definitely." Sarek and Amanda looked at each other in momentary confusion. T'Pau held up her hand. "There are some things you do not know to ask. I have never had this opportunity before and I may never have it again." Sarek nodded for her to ask the next question. "Where were you born?" "On Earth, or Terra as you call it." "Where on Terra?" T'Pau persisted. "I was born in the place of Man's beginning, in the place from whence our children were cast out, in the place without name. It was our home." "No, dear God, this can't be true," Amanda muttered. "Don't tell me this. I don't want to hear this. " "I will not tell you what you do not ask," Jean answered softly. "Ask yourself, if you will, why you fear the truth?" Amanda took a deep breath. "Tell us about the beginning, " Amanda's hands began to tremble. She did not try to hide it. "I was not there. That story is not mine to tell." "Tell me about the place of Man's beginning," Amanda persisted. Jean Little looked at Amanda and shook her head slightly. "Child, are you sure you wish to know your answers?" "Yes," Amanda took another deep breath. "I want you to tell me." Jean smiled. "As you wish, Amanda." She closed her eyes and chuckled slightly. "You have no idea how hard it is for me to resist saying:"B'reshit..." "In the beginning..." Amanda whispered the translation. She covered her lips against the words that tried to force their way out. Jean nodded and sighed longingly. "I have been told that I forget myself when I speak of those times. Forgive me. It is difficult to speak of what is lost. Sometimes. . ." She fell silent and Amanda moved forward to the edge of her seat. "In the Beginning..." Amanda prompted her. Jean shook her head softly, then returned her attention to them."I will tell you what I was taught about that time when I was a child." She began to sing a soft melody that resonated through Amanda's blood. Amanda found herself humming the tune that she should not have known, could not have heard before. "We were whole and without blemish. We were one people and lived in a state of grace. Wanting for nothing, knowing no fear. Hungry, we fed. Thirsty, we drank deeply. We basked in the glory of love, eternal and all knowing. Children laughed and played, fearless and serene." Amanda reached out for Sarek's hand, and gripped it tightly. Tears slowly fell down her cheeks, glistening in the Vulcan light. Sarek moved to wipe them away and she shook her head to stop him. "I am a child of the Old Ones. Sent from the place of the beginning. We were . . . and all that I was, they were. All that they are, I am. All that they loved, I love. All that I know, they knew. We were as one and knew no pain. Torn asunder, our hearts not true. Our children lost, our souls aflame The Chosen left to heal the stain How sweet the need to go home again The song ended. Amanda reached up and wiped her face."Why do I know that song?" "It is written in your very cells,child." "Where is the Place of Man's Beginning?" "That is not something you are required to know." The room was quiet. "What are you?"T'Pau whispered. Little sighed again and looked off into the distance. They waited for her to pull her attention back to them. Finally, she stared at the wall that separated them from James Kirk. "Enough, we don't have time for twenty questions. I'll tell you briefly, and if you live, you may learn the rest. She looked at Sarek, Amanda, then T'Pau."I do not need to say what the price of betrayal would be,do I?" T'Pau answered for them:"All is silence within this house." "Humans are . . .engineered, and have been a work in progress for several million years." She did not pause when Amanda gasped, and Sarek muttered, "Fascinating". "James Kirk is Human. The Chosen, such as myself, are not always. . . Human. The Old Ones are from before Humanity was molded and strictly speaking, they were never human. "Before Human history began, there were conflicts in the Place of The Beginning. The details are complex and irrelevant, for now. Many children became different, unexpected . . . alien. They were sent out to heal; we thought they would return. But they never came back and Human history began." One lone tear ran down Ambassador Little's face as she whispered. "They mated, had children, and multiplied. The first to be banished discovered a way to pass on his inheritance to all the children. We in turn had to find a way to pass on the Old Ones' inheritance. "We succeeded, but now Humans must battle against their dual inheritance. The Chosen help them reclaim that which is inside them all: the gifts of their ancestors. "The Chosen were sent out to bring the children back." She shrugged. "They refused to return." Sarek's throat tightened. *He, who must be forgotten*, would never return either. That Son had tried to corrupt Spock. It could not be tolerated, kaadith. Sarek understood Jean's pain. "They went further and further away, and each step they took away from us took them away from the truth of who we were and what we had been able to do. We learned to call these children: Humans." She frowned. "They mated with the lower animals, an abomination. Some traveled to other worlds, taking their animals and children, and the memory of what they had lost with them." "They left Earth? How?" T'Pau could not hide her disbelief. "They were young, not primitives. Think. How many worlds has the Federation found with Humans living on them? All of them are our children driven from their true home. How did that happen? Did you think the Preservers preferred Humans over any other species? No. Humans are scattered through the galaxy because they were driven out of their home. Everywhere they went, they took a memory of Home: the Place of Man's Beginning. They created new myths for their children but all the myths recalled their true home." She sighed. "Finally the Old Ones realized they needed to reclaim their children and help them. "They sent the Chosen out to reclaim the lost ones, but Humans no longer knew us. We planned, we inspected, we nurtured, we visited, we loved, and again we erred. Humans did not want to return with us. Our children rejected us. We were burned and pelted with stones. We were lynched. We were hunted. We were enslaved. The very children we had fashioned reviled us. We surrendered to their will hoping that our sacrifice would reach them. It did not. "The Old Ones were the past, to which there was no hope of return. The Chosen had a new idea, something never before attempted. We asked the Old Ones to look out to the future and tell us what would become of Humans. They saw no future: Humans were doomed to a path of self-destruction. Brother slew brother. Sister hated sister. They had created false divisions between themselves: tribe, race, creed, nation, gender, wealth, and religion. "The Chosen then made a choice. They did not reject the children again. They did not sit and lament the future. They created a future for Humans, learned to love them, and bore children with them. They planned for their children's children. They became counselors and teachers, sorcerers and wise women, second-in commands, never commanders. The Chosen speak the calm word on the brink of war or the whispered words of tolerance in the darkest hour. Always, we help man fight against the beast within. We instruct, we mold, but we do not lead." "We. . .you've used that term frequently. How old are you, Jean?" Jean turned to stare at Amanda. "I am as old as my memories, as are you." <¥~~~> <~~~><~~~~> < ~~~¥> S'Alal-Doe sat and watched the Human struggle against her command to sleep. He was as powerful as they had expected. His will drove him without rest. So few realized will was the driving force behind life and awareness. The Human fought his way back to consciousness. Perseverance and will dragged him up, until he struggled to get out of the bed. "I'm leaving. Get me my clothes." "I cannot do that. I am your healer. I am here to help you. You are not ready to leave." "You have to let me go, S'Alal-Doe. I'm losing control. I feel myself drifting away. If you keep me here, I don't know what will happen. You don't deserve to be put at risk. Neither do Sarek and Amanda. Let me go." He tried to stand up and she caught him by his shoulders, holding him with a fraction of her strength. "I will stay with you, Human. I am here because it is the place I was destined to be. Let me help you." He closed his eyes and whispered, "Once, someone said that to me right before I killed her." "Has life been that cruel, Human?" "I can't remember anymore." He shook his head slowly. "I tried to do my best, but it wasn't enough. I loved them. I was willing to die for them. Isn't that what I was suppose to do? Earn their loyalty; deserve their trust. I tried. For what? Almost everything I value is gone. I fought all my life for this day, and -- why? Is this success, S'Alal-Doe?" He raised his voice. "Is this fucking glory?" Louder. "On top of the world, Ma." Laughter. "Run, Healer, run as fast and as far as you can and don't look back. Run and tell them to come in here and kill me and get it over with. I don't have anywhere to go. I don't have a home anymore. It's all gone; they took it all. I'll make them sorry they ever saw me." He was breathing faster. His pulse raced. His pupils dilated. "Spock wanted her dead. He killed Edith. We could have told her the truth and she would have changed. We didn't have to kill her. He told me that bullshit on purpose. He wanted me to kill her." His eyes had a strange gleam. "He killed me before, you know. This is just finishing what he started. I'll show him. I'LL SHOW THEM ALL. I don't need any of them. They all wanted my ship. I'm the Captain. I made it happen. When they make me an Admiral, I'll be one step away from running Starfleet. I'll show them all then. I'll show them it wasn't a fluke. It was me all along, not Spock, not McCoy, not Scotty, *Me*. " He bared his teeth and tried to push up again. She held him firmly until he began to scream in her face. "Fuck you. Fuck Spock. Fuck McCoy. Fuck Starfleet. Leave me alone. Leave me the fuck alone. Why can't you leave me alone? Don't make me kill you." His screams became wordless as he fought her with an unsuspected strength. She forced him back to the bed. His temperature was soaring as he struggled and sweat rolled down his body. Water, falling from skin, how alien. She pulled out a hypo, dialed the maximum dose, and sent him back into oblivion. Then she reinforced his rest with a mental command. She slowed her breathing back to normal while she waited silently for him to stir. Satisfied, she left to get Sarek. It was past time to make the familial bond. <¥~~~> <~~~><~~~~> < ~~~¥> "Who is James Kirk?" Sarek asked again, afraid of the answer. "James Kirk is a human, with the inheritance found in all humans, and wasted in most. He leads." "What skills does he possess that are different than any other Human male?" Sarek's voice hinted at his disbelief. "His inheritance is no different. His gift is to use what he was born with." "Tell me what he does," Sarek demanded. "He remembers, he convinces, he leads, he sees the truth of a person's worth and helps them excel. Most importantly, he decides." "Explain." "I cannot." "Then give me examples." She laughed. "You are persistent and lacking in faith, Sarek." "You speak of mysticisms that have no place in Vulcan beliefs. We deal with the concrete and the rational." "Is that so, Sarek? Then what is the rational explanation for the Katra? Or A'tha: the experience of the divine universe? What of the Vulcan over-mind which connects you all and allows a Vulcan Science Officer to know when the crew of a Vulcan science vessel has perished? Are those rational concepts?" T'Pau gasped. "How do you know of these things?" "Really, this is tiresome. Would I be who I claimed to be, if I did not know?" Sarek and T'Pau stared at each other silently. T'Pau returned her gaze to Jean and spoke. "It is true that Vulcans hold some beliefs which . . . are not amenable to rational explanation." "A concession from a Vulcan; how pleasant." Little looked towards the room where Kirk was sleeping. She nodded once and returned her gaze to Sarek. "You have scanned the records. Jim killed Gary Mitchell, his best friend, after he had changed into a creature powerful enough to threaten even me. "Your son has hit him in anger, more than once, and James Kirk still lives and breathes. Spock is capable of snapping the neck of an ordinary human with one half of his strength. "Do you need more?" Sarek nodded. "He can convince anyone to do anything that he wants them to do, including you, because he freed your son to love." Sarek and Amanda exchanged a silent glance. "Perhaps he is. . ." "I don't believe you're going to say 'lucky,' Sarek." "Perhaps he has encountered a random convergence of events, aligned with admirable skills, resulting in an unusual propensity for victory." Jean's silence was eloquent. "Give me an example of how his memories come into play." She sighed. "Only one. How many Starfleet officers can recognize the raw ingredients and make gunpowder from scratch? What are the odds that an Earthman of this century would be able to know charcoal, potassium nitrate, sulfur, diamonds, a cane pipe, and a wick will make a good cannon? You have a treaty with the Gorn because James Kirk *remembered* the flavor of gunpowder and *remembered* how to make an ancient weapon." Amanda frowned. "Why should we believe the Chosen had anything to do with Kirk's success?" She frowned and looked towards the room where James Kirk slept. "This is taking too long. Our time is growing shorter. He was harvested and trained by us . . .to command hearts and minds . . .to decide, to win, to control his memories, and to trust his instincts. Who he became is who he was meant to be. We only molded his natural proclivities. We made sure he was loved and lovingly disciplined. You really should be grateful for our assistance." "You have said that before. You threaten us with destruction but fail to tell us how he would accomplish that deed." "I will not do so." T'Pau held her hand out to silence Sarek's next query. "Tell us what task you have set for him outside of his role on Vulcan." "I have set no task for him. His task was set by fate. We only harvested him when his existence became known to us." "What task does fate set for him?" T'Pau clarified. "His task is to create possibility where none existed. It is to create promise out of emptiness. He must be will, unbroken. He will help save our worlds, because he will refuse to give up. He must remember the past to see the future. Without him, Earth is destroyed and with Earth, Vulcan will fall. With him, Earth prospers, and with Earth, Vulcan will rise again. Human and Vulcan will be as one. Vulcan's children will be as sand on the desert." "I can not believe you have allowed the fate of two worlds to rest on one man," Sarek objected. "Your belief is your choice. Any person can be pivotal and all have a role in fate. His is larger than most, but some must die, must cross a street, or say a special word for the future to proceed towards the best Destiny." Little shrugged one shoulder. "He can help Vulcan and Humanity on that path. If he fails, all other paths lead to greater pain and more severe destruction. If I must kill him, all of our best destinies will die with him. The options that will remain are very unappealing." S'Alal-Doe opened the door. Her presence without permission signaled urgency. She looked at Jean Little and nodded once. "Enough." The Ambassador rose from her chair. "You have honored me with your concern and your love for my cousin. I pray your strength is enough to allow him to heal. "He is lost in his memories. Had you tried to enter his mind without my assistance, those memories would have risen to defend him and driven you into oblivion. Even you, Ambassador Sarek, are no match for the ones who began us both. Leave your personal needs and fears at the door. They have no place in what we are about to do. " She moved towards the door. "Let's go. It's time: he awakens." They turned and left to fight and win, or fight and . . . die. Revelations 6 by Istannor - 19 -