Title: The Chosen
Author: Istannor
Series: TOS
Part: 15
Rating: [PG13]
Codes:
Summary: Sarek and Amanda finally confront Jean.

Disclaimer: These are the characters of Paramount and
Viacom, they own them, I only check 'em out from the
Library.

Feedback to Istannor@Aol.com



Later the next day, S'Alal-do gave permission for Sarek to get up and
walk. She and Amanda cautiously led him to Amanda's Library where he
stretched out on the settee with a small sigh of gratitude. Ambassador
Little was summoned and they waited patiently for her to come from
James Kirk side, where she had spent the previous night.

T'Pau was the last to enter and make herself comfortable as drinks and
a small plate of fruit slices and spiced vegetable pate on wafers was
passed around in silence. The ritual of sharing completed, Sarek broke
the silence.

"Ambassador, I wish to know about the Old Ones and the Chosen. Our
ignorance has threatened our lives and the future of our sons. I
cannot countenance participating in this any longer without further
information. "

"I can't say I wasn't expecting you to ask this, and I actually agree
with you, Sarek. I live with uncertainty everyday, but there's no
reason I can't bring you close to my level of ignorance."  Jean
shrugged and gave a half-hearted smile while she drummed her fingers
on the side of her wide, over-stuffed chair and considered where to
start. "Well here is the official line. Please excuse the archaic
language, but you asked an very old question so here is an answer that
is equally ancient."

She crossed her hands in her lap and sat forward in her chair. She had
a faint smile, almost mocking them for their predictability. "The Old
Ones are from the beginning and had many children in whom they were
greatly pleased. Many ages passed in peace until their children began
to change, mutate, and became abhorrent in the eyes of their parents.
These children were banished after their crimes became too great, but
the changes did not stop. Humans are the children of the banished ones
and those who the Old Ones had made. Humans lost the gifts of true
speech, and the seeing, and the sharing, and the making, and the
knowing, and the love known as agape, the love without counting the
cost. They were mortal and flawed." She slumped slightly and all
traces of humor fled from her face. Her voice dropped to a whisper.
"Our babies died. Our joy was lost for time beyond time. Helpless, we
saw our children's children age and die, like the seasons and the
lesser animals. Our grief knew no limits." They thought she had
finished, but something stayed their questions.

"The Old Ones were slow to learn the errors of their ways and drifted
without a vision while the Humans struggled to avoid oblivion. In
those days, civilizations rose and fell without help or guidance from
the Old Ones, or the Chosen. For this we ask forgiveness. We had run
from the pain, and in the running, lost our vision. One hundred
thousand years later we looked out from where we thought our thoughts,
and realized our children were adrift and more numerous than the
grasses of the savanna."

Sarek sat forward, slowed by obvious pain and stiffness. "Then
Nanghabee is an Old One, true?"

"Yes."

"When was he born?"

"I honestly don't know, but he predates Human history. Years had no
meaning to the Old Ones until they began to watch Humans."

"Why was he so powerful if he was only a memory?" Sarek continued.

"You all are familiar with the phenomena of telekinesis in Humans?"
Amanda and Sarek nodded. "It has been studied for centuries, along
with extra-sensory perception, foretelling of the future, and the
paranormal in general. All those gifts are the legacy of the Old Ones.

"All humans hold the genetic memory of their ancestors. Some hold more
than others. Some are fully functional espers, some have visions.
Nanghabee, or another Old One, is in millions of humans, but in Jim,
he's strong."

"As is whatever, or whoever, attempted to kill my son." T'Pau added.

Jean nodded her agreement. "True. In fact that particular one, is a
far more active part of the Human subconscious than Nanghabee, because
he speaks to the fears, lusts, selfish desires in them all.  He was
the first to be cast out. He was the first to mate with the others. He
was the first to kill."

"Who did he kill?"

Jean hesitated and then shook her head. "No one you know."

T'Pau's eyes flashed in irritation. "Name the creature who killed long
ago, the same beast who tried to kill my son. We shall no longer fight
nameless ghosts, simply to honor some vague and irrational ritual thee
and thy family may hold on to."

Jean snorted. "Do you honestly think I'm playing a game with you by
not naming him? He has a name that would mean precisely nothing to you
. . . unless you were alive on Earth when the brontosaurus roamed
Central Africa. Let's just call him . . . Awa Dun Sol."

"Enough." Sarek gave a curt wave of his hand. "This is obviously an
area where we will not receive an answer that has any meaning for us.
Whatever or whoever he was, now he is the personification of evil. I
realize there is no logic in that statement, but it described my
experience with him in the over-mind." Sarek repressed a shudder at
the memory of the knife carving his flesh. As he fought for calm, he
felt love and concern surging towards him through the Bond. He turned
and Amanda's gaze filled him with cool comfort.

"We can agree on your description. Awa Dun Sol can rightfully be
described as self-absorbed and without any concept of morality." Jean
gave a slow shrug. "It is hard to call him anything but evil; he is
outside any standards of civilized conduct. He acknowledges no rules,
no regulations.  Awa Dun Sol acknowledges no right except what he
wishes. He has been consistent for thousands of years besides being
powerful and extremely dangerous."

"Could he have killed Dr. McCoy and my husband."

"Yes and Nanghabee has the same power."

"Could thee have stopped either of them?"

"Not in their own element, T'Pau. Within the landscape of the mind,
they are both far more powerful than I. In humans, they are both
vulnerable, but I would've had to kill Jim to destroy them, or destroy
this particular manifestation of them. They can never truly die as
long as one Human lives."

"Is Jim . . . is James as powerful as thee?" T'Pau queried.

Jean laughed. "Oh my, let us hope not. Jim is no superhuman; he is
merely a better-trained human. We only enhanced his inherent gifts:
his willingness to learn, his ability to sense and integrate multiple
pieces of information, retain them and synthesize conclusions when
needed. Any Human can do all those things if they are receptive and
trained by skilled mentors. No, he is slightly more durable than your
average Human male, because he is trained to be quick and resilient.
Spock could probably kill him with a single blow . . . if Spock had
the will and caught him off guard."

"Thee are not complete with thy truth. It is not normative for a Human
to be able to establish a mental link with a Vulcan, or scream
psychically to every mind at Gol."

Jean smiled. "That is where our view of reality differs. It is
normative. Human babies are born with the ability and trained out of
it by millennia of fear and ignorance. Jim could have demonstrated
more abilities but he chose this path as a young man of thirteen.
Much of James Kirk's potential was lost on Tarsus to murder, rape,
terror and hatred. Now he has killed too many, seen too much, felt too
deeply to ever be all that he had within him." She held her hands up
in front of her as if they belonged to someone else. Her voice
continued in a faint whisper, but not too faint for Vulcan ears. "
Perhaps we wrought too well."

Amanda looked at Sarek and he mentally shrugged his lack of
understanding. "I don't think we understand what you mean. What did
you have to do with his renouncing his potential?"

She blinked and dropped her hands to her lap. "I'm sorry. Of course
you don't understand because I'm wandering about like a lunatic." She
slowly straightened out the folds of her silken caftan. "Jim .. let. .
., yes, that would be the most appropriate term, he let Awa Dun Sol
lose to roam freely on Kodo's Commandos after they began the mass
killings on Tarsus. He did some horrible things back then. When he
returned to his 'senses' he rejected the animal he became to save his
own life and those of the children he protected. When he rejected his
more ruthless side, he also rejected the power he could have wielded.
He has shackled Awa Dun Sol and Nanghabee and refuses to use them. In
doing so, he turned away from the part of him that could rule worlds
and take minds. He chooses to never commit, to stay apart and protect
anyone else from his inner beast." She shook her head. "Sadly, his
quest is doomed. He needs to love and be loved; he requires
friendship. Spock assisted Jim in the past and probably can continue
to help him to control his most destructive urges. My cousin will
fail, utterly, if they both do not change course."

"You say: he seems to be. . .Spock probably can. . ... Your words tell
me you do not know with complete assurance, do you?" Sarek probed.

Jean shrugged. "Life is full of surprises."

Sarek leaned back and began to tap on the arm of his chaise. "So you
are telling me Kirk is human."

"He is fully human."

Sarek persisted. "Why was he dangerous to us if we were attempting to
assist him?"

"He has been abandoned and betrayed. He is wounded, and the most
dangerous beast is a wounded one. Wounded, he can kill without mercy.
Spock and McCoy were his anchors . . . the ones to tell him no and to
love him in his weakness. He had learned to trust them, and to love
them in turn. In trusting, he had found his humanity once again.
Without trust, he is Child of the Chosen unbound, or was until you
adopted him. Your familial bond has given him a peaceful place where
he can rest."

Sarek leaned forward with a question. "What is 'Child of the Chosen
unbound'?"

Jean's eyes gleamed. "Death."

"Why?"

"Our children unbound are power without conscience, will without
limits, lust without love. They are the antithesis of life and the end
of all we hoped to achieve. James Kirk unbound is a man I am obligated
to kill. "

Amanda's shock rippled through the Bond and Sarek sent reassurance.
She stood and went over to the window and stared silently out on to
Mount Selaya, it's peak covered in mist. "How does my son, Spock, fit
into this?" Amanda's voice was full of longing as she stared at the
desert expanse between she and her Son.

Jean sipped her drink as the last rays of daylight filtered through
the window. Fine particles of dust floated in the air moving in a slow
and stately dance.  "Vision is a gift that few are comfortable with.
How many of us truly want to see the future or see the possible paths
destiny can take? Sam had the gift of seeing and he never fought it,
no matter what it told him." Sadness descended on her as she paused in
memory of the cousin she had lost. "He was one of the bravest souls I
have ever known. Knowing the final outcome, he still chose to reach
for happiness and to love. It was he who saw Spock and McCoy as Jim's
anchors. Spock was to be the primary anchor because his link with Jim
was the clearest seen of all possible choices.  His existence was a
living gift to us, and to Jim. Spock loved Jim and Jim would have done
almost anything for your son, especially listen to his advice, and
that kept him from committing acts you can not even conceive of. An
anchor holds and protects in rough seas, giving you the ability to
stay in the safe harbor."

She took another sip and shrugged softly. "Spock left. McCoy left. Jim
is adrift. This was not unanticipated, however, we hoped it could be
avoided. We were wrong.  Now, the future offers two roads and only one
leads to hope. Without any anchor at all, Jim would have self-
destructed. Without any ties over the days and months ahead, he still
would have self-destructed. We believe the familial link you gave him
will help, even if it doesn't heal him."

"You believe my link with him will be temporary." Sarek stated.

Jean turned towards him but her eyes seemed to look somewhere outside
of the room where they sat. "We have seen many branches. All branches
come from two trees. One, Spock returns; the desired future returns to
its rightful track. Two, Spock does not return; Earth and Vulcan die.
We all have seen it. There are no other viable options seen."

"Oh, my God," Amanda whispered.

"What an interesting statement." Little tilted her head and looked at
them with an enigmatic smile. "We have a small amount of time before I
leave and the new quilt is sewn." Momentary amusement flashed across
her eyes as she looked around at the confusion evident on their faces,
even the Vulcan ones. "I see your questions have given you only some
of the information you desired. What more do you want to ask, Amanda,
Sarek, or T'Pau? Now is the time to ask the last few before I see Jim
and take McCoy home. "

"Are you an angel?" Amanda whispered the question.

"Oh, dear me, what a question." Jean laughed. "No, no, no and no. I am
just a fallible being with a long list of regrets and losses, and a
job to do. One might say I have a few extra tricks than the average
person; that's all"

"Jean," Amanda asked softly, "have you ever thought Jim might just
give up and walk away?"

The Ambassador sighed and gently shrugged her shoulders. "We all have
thought it, and then we move on. What other choices does he have? It's
the only life he knows and the only one he has prepared for, for all
of his life."

T'Pau slowly stood and rested her weight on her cane. "You ask us to
conclude that your manipulation of Earth's history is benign and well-
intentioned, while everyone else who has done this has an evil intent.
What proof do you offer?"

Jean sighed. "Again, you have no idea how many times I have been asked
that over the last few thousand years, too. I guide, I teach, and I
cull when we fail. We do not cull any but our own and the occasional
miscreant who is dangerous to all the futures."

"That is not a convincing argument." T'Pau stated.

"How about this: you are alive and talking to me with your memory of
everything that has transpired still intact. It did not have to be
that way."

"Threats are irrational." T'Pau waved a hand in dismissal. "We are not
without our own resources."

"I'm afraid you are, in this particular case." Jean shrugged
sympathetically. "T'Pau, I consider shows of force to be tiresome so I
would prefer you take my word on this: you are no match for me, and
neither is your sister, or you and your sister together, for that
fact. I am the Chosen and you have no concept of what I am able to
do."

T'Par tapped her cane rapidly on the floor, and remained silent as she
considered the statement. "We shall consider your cautionary advice.
Resume your discourse."

She bowed her head, briefly, then continued. "The children of the
Chosen , or the Fruit of Humanity as they call themselves, are
Ambassadors, soldiers, scientists, teachers, explorers, mothers and
fathers and Starship Captains; always pushing for the next horizon.
The Chosen nurture our children where we can and patiently wait for
what must be. One day, humanity will irrevocably change and we wait
for that day with a smile on our hearts. But . . . it will not be
Humanity alone, who will change."

Her face began to take on a special animation. The excitement was
almost palpable in the room. "With them will be many races, many
people, and many worlds. When that happens our children's children,
many times removed,  will have reached a new state of grace, past
hate, past fear, past lies, past death. On that day, our children and
your children will play in the fields again. Then and only then will
the Chosen rest. My brothers and sisters left the womb of Man to walk
among our children. We were the first to learn sacrifice and will be
the last to rest." She closed her eyes and whispered, "We are the past
made whole in the future."

"Can you never go home again?" Amanda asked. Such longing was in her,
it made Sarek gasp aloud as it reverberated through the Bond.

"Never. Home is lost to us. We may one-day return but it is not where
and when it once was. It is elsewhere and elsewhen, lost to us until
we succeed and the Children become whole."

"You left your home, and in effect have pinned your hopes on one frail
human," Amanda persisted. "How can you put this all on him? It's not
fair."

Jean Little chuckled. "Fairness is a delusion shared by humans. I have
memories of when they first created the concept." She shook her head
from side to side.
"Life was never meant to be fair, only experienced and savored. You
have no idea how difficult a concept that is for most to grasp."

"James and Spock deserve happiness," Amanda fought back. "Nowhere have
I heard anything about their happiness, or their contentment.  Why
must you involve Spock in this?"

"Spock chose to be involved. Sam gave Spock a choice and your son
chose with eyes wide open. Do not fool yourselves, your son is in no
way a second-tier player in this drama. Spock can accomplish more than
he is capable of imagining."

"Earlier, you said Sam, and others saw Spock. I assume this means
there are visions of other possible futures.  This is not unknown on
Vulcan. Since ancient times, our adepts have had prophetic visions.
Why was this not seen on Vulcan?" Sarek asked.

Jean looked expectantly at T'Pau.

She considered his question before she reluctantly answered. "The
Chosen approached us 63 years ago. They said there would be a child
born to a Human/Vulcan mating. They asked that this child be given to
them to mate with one of their own children. They showed us their
prognostications and they matched with ours in many respects. Our
Adepts did have visions, but the interpretations were not clear until
the Chosen came. It seems we were blinded by our inability to imagine
a Vulcan-Human pairing, or a Human who could lead us. We suffered from
overweening Hubris. After we established that our concerns were
similar, we offered the first born Vulcan -Human hybrid to the Chosen.
Recall, Son, you were already Bonded and I did not realize you would
be the one to marry a Human." T'Pau announced.

"You still offered my child as a tool without my permission." Sarek
eyes flared.

"Kroykah!" T'Pau waited for him to gather himself. "I was not aware
that I required your permission. I am the Clan Mother. My will is
word. "

"T'Pau . . ." Amanda began.

"Shh, child. You both do not understand. Vulcan dies. We have fewer
children each generation. We estimated that we had less than 2000
years before the end of our civilization as we know it. Prior to that,
we are in danger of being conquered by our more aggressive cousins,
the Rihannsu, or an invading force  from beyond known space.  All
models tell us the Federation will be attacked and Vulcan with it.
Realize I am speaking of only 175 Vulcan normal generations. We
required new thoughts, new ways, new energy. As the Voice of Vulcan, I
could not openly renounce Surak."

"You speak treason."

T'Pau flicked her hand in dismissal. "I am the Voice of Vulcan. I have
been and will continue to be tested at Gol. I live; therefore the
Katras proclaim my innocence of treason. " She sighed as Sarek
continued to stare at her in open defiance. "My son, T'Par holds the
Katra of all the rulers of Gol who have gone before, including the
Bondmate of Surak. She has known for 127 years that we had drifted far
from the intent of Surak's path. We have lost all of our brashness and
aggressiveness. Vulcans die without a fight, again and again. When we
reach the logical conclusion there is a negligible chance of success,
we simply give up. In the old days, we never gave up; we fought to our
dying breath and beyond. Surak did not mean for us to vanish. We were
to learn to control our animal half, not renounce life."

"You offered my son, Mother." Sarek said with barely veiled hostility.

"Tsk," she hissed in frustration. "No, I offered your daughter. You
changed your mind without consulting me and had a son through further
manipulation and genetic engineering, even with the increased risk of
infertility in a male. Had you conceived a daughter, she and Kirk
could have been mated and with child by now. Fortunately, the strength
of the link between Kirk and Spock is visible to any Vulcan with eyes.
Human/Vulcan Bonds have multiplied exponentially since Kirk and Spock
became famous. The hybrids born of those unions are robust, energetic
and fertile. We are moving apace towards our goal."

"Your goal," Amanda almost shouted before she clamed herself. "And at
what cost? Neither James Kirk nor Spock is content. "

"Jim was not born for contentment, Amanda, not in this existence."
Jean answered for them both. "Contentment breeds apathy and apathy
saps his will. His will must be unbroken. His life will be one of pain
and suffering; triumph and fame; adoration and loneliness. That is his
lot, if he lives. It is what he was born to do. Happiness, yes, he
will have periods of extreme happiness, as will your second born son,
Sarek." Sarek looked at her in shock as the family secret was
discussed like common news. "They will be fleeting, like all things in
life, but they will be intense and the stuff of legends. What more can
mere mortals desire?"

Amanda responded forcefully. "They can desire happiness and a choice
of whether or not to have everything rests on their shoulders. You
have set him up for failure. No one can flourish under that kind of
pressure."

"Perhaps. But if I were you, I would hope he can." Jean rose and
glided serenely for the door. She paused under the lintel. " Sometimes
hope and faith are the only weapons you have. I'm going to see my Jim
and then I have to take my leave. McCoy must be returned to Earth
within the next 72 hours and it is not a short journey."

She left them to their own thoughts and they sat in silence until the
last rays of sunlight vanished from the room

Revelations by Istannor		- 10 -