Doctor's Logs 1
Title: Doctor's Logs 1
Author: Istannor 
Series: TOS
Part: 1/1
Rating: PG13
Codes: Lang.
Summary: McCoy is ordered to keep a personal log as a
physician, of his observations aboard the Enterprise. They
are for his use only, for therapy and to work out any issues
he might have.

Disclaimer: These are the characters of Paramount and
Viacom, they own them I only check 'em out from the library.
I promise to bring 'em back.


Okay, where do I begin? I am supposed to start keeping my
own private logs for this damn journey out into nowhere, on
this tin-plated claptrap. New regulations. Screw Starfleet.
Just another damn inconvenience in a line of thousands of
such intrusions into my life. Once again, I wonder why I am on
this damn ship out in the middle of a vacuum. Okay, what
Stardate is this? Oh yeah. Stardate 1533.8 It is the day after
Charlie got taken back to the planet he was rescued from. I
know who he was, but for the purposes of this log, I better be
factual, in case anyone looks at this stuff later.

Charlie was a human boy of 17 years of age, that had been
marooned ion a planet by himself from early childhood after
his vessel had crashed on the deserted planet. All the adults
died in the crash. When he was picked up, his survival was
thought to be a direct result of human ingenuity and plain luck.
What fools we were. He was taken care of all those years by
discorporeal beings that protected him and fed him. The only
thing they could not teach him was how to be human. They
gave him mental powers that were unbelievable. Put that
together with the raging hormones of adolescence and you
spell disaster. He ended up destroying one ship , and almost
taking ours over.

The strangest things happened around that boy. He was able
to move matter and create things out of thin air with his mind.
The only thing he couldn't create was what he ached for the
most, human companionship. I thought I was being real smart
when I tried to get Jim to take him under his wing. I didn't
understand his no. Now, I still don't. Charlie's absence is
tearing the captain apart, and I don't know why. James Kirk is
the most complex individual I have ever met. Just when I think
I have a handle on him, he takes a jig where I am waiting for a
jag. I think the man is torn up over Charlie being destined to
be alone, without human companionship, forever.

I saw him on the bridge, still reeling from what Charlie had
done to him, trying to convince the ones who came to get
Charlie to allow him to stay with us. I didn't get it then, and I'm
not sure I get it now. The boy could have destroyed the entire
Ship if he wanted to, and for some reason, Jim wanted to
give him another chance. Why for God's sake? So he can get
it right the next time and blast us all into oblivion? Aw, hell. He
was just a kid. He did deserve better than he got.

Spock has been very strange lately. He came to me today
and told me there is something I needed to know about
James Kirk. He recommended I go and speak with him.
Maybe I will. The man is an enigma wrapped up in a mystery,
or should I say both of them are. I am not sure who is worse.
The Vulcan practically cursed me out and threatened me
after my screw up with the salt creature. I didn't know he had
it in him. The next day he acted like it had never happened. I
have some time now. Kirk is off duty, I think I'll go chat with
him. The CMO needs to know the mind of the Captain, and I
sure don't know his yet.

End Log

Continuing Log entry same date. Well close enough. It is
actually 3:00 am the next day but this is my damn log and I
can number it any way I like. I think I'm drunk.

I'll be damned. Who knew. The man has a son. Worse yet,
the mother of his son won't let him within ten parsecs of the
boy. She is afraid he will contaminate the child's mind. Or
worse yet, she's afraid he might learn to love Kirk and
depend on him. Since she does not expect our Captain to
live long, she does not consider his playing a role in the Boy's
life to be logical. A classic case of who he doesn't know, he
won't miss. What a bitch. I had to get him almost drunk to tell
me that. At least, I think he was almost drunk. Really, I'm not
sure anymore. Maybe it was something he wanted to get off
his chest. That was why he was resistant to the idea of being
a Father figure to Charlie. It hurt too much. Me and my brilliant
ideas. And then seeing the boy taken away was another
reminder of what he would never have and what Charlie
would never have. Why do I think nothing has ever hurt the
Golden Boy of Starfleet? The truth is more like, nothing that
has ever hurt him, has stopped him. Leonard, Leonard,
Leonard, when are you going to stop underestimating that
man. I gotta get some sleep.

End log

Stardate 1534.8

Guess what I found out today. That seemingly boring, staid,
fixated engineer of ours, Montgomery Scott, makes hooch,
on board ship. Damn good vintage, if I say so myself. A little
raw, but better than some stuff I've had on shoreleave. I'm
sipping it now. Off duty of course. I asked Scotty, that's what
he likes to be called, what the illustrious Captain would do if
he found out. Now, his answer confounded me, I admit. He
said the Captain knows. He said Kirk always knows what
happens on his Lady. The man says the ship talks to the
Captain and tells him all her secrets. I know he was drunk. I
think I want to talk to him a little more about that tomorrow.

End Log

Resumption Log entry:

Scotty and I had that talk. He really believes what he said. I
didn't see any evidence he is delusional. The man is 15
years older than Kirk, shoot I'm 14 years older than the man.
Scotty says the only reason he's on this ship is because his
Lady says Kirk is the man. Now, you know I had to get some
clarification on that. I am a doctor after all.

Scotty says Kirk can feel the ship. He's knows when the
engines are even a little off, or when the matter-antimatter
mix is skewed. He can feel the ship's vibrations and tell just
how far he can push her. Scotty, it seems is the most famous
engineer in Starfleet. He could have his choice of berths. He
told me that when he first saw Kirk, he was ready to transfer
offship. He thought the man was just too damn green. The
second night, the man came to his cabin with a bottle of
Scotch, the kind you had to blow the dust off. They spent all
night drinking and climbing though the Jeffries tubes,
discussing warp mechanics and engine harmonics. Scotty
says you will have to drag his cold, dead corpse off any ship
Kirk is on. When he wants to make non-regulation engine
modifications, all he has to do is explain what it will give to
his Lady, and he gets the okay. Anything for the Lady. He
said that a lot today.

End Log

Stardate 1539.9

I sat and watched Kirk and Uhura today. Piper told me they
used to have a thing, years ago. I honestly can't see any
evidence of it. She was singing in the rec room. He sat
quietly and watched her. When she turned to look at him, he
gave the strangest smile I had ever seen, then he just got up
and left. The Vulcan watched him all the way out. Spock
watches Kirk a lot. It would drive me crazy. Every where he
goes, Spock is a half step behind him.  Maybe not
everywhere, but the man does hover. I wonder if all Vulcans
do that. I think I will have to start my research on Vulcan's and
our Vulcan in particular. One thing I found out, I heard Spock
say something to Kirk yesterday after a meeting. I am sure it
was in Vulcan. Kirk answered him in the same language.
They didn't know I was there. None of Kirk's information says
he speaks Vulcan. In fact according to his bio, he only
speaks standard. I suddenly don't believe it. I wonder what
else the boy wonder is hiding.

Stardate 1567.4

We are on a search and destroy mission. I admit I am
terrified. Orions boarded a Cruise ship on a regular shipping
line. It was full of tourists and business travelers. They robbed
them, killed a lot, raped some, and kidnapped quite a few for
sale into the slave trade on Orion. We were in the sector on
our way to deep space. A cruiser patrolling the area got there
ahead of us and ran them off before they could finish the job. I
was on the bridge when pictures from the inside of the cruise
ship were broadcast over to us. It was horrible. Kirk got this
gleam in his eyes I have never seed before. His voice was so
quiet. He asked the Captain of the Cruiser Nightwing if they
could handle the passengers. When the man said yes, he
told him, and I quote: "then we will take care of the rest."

We will have been following the warp trail of the Orion for
hours now. They don't know we are on their tails. We weren't
supposed to be around this area of space. I left the bridge
because it was too quiet. Too intense. Kirk is out for blood. I
am getting the sick bay ready to receive patients now. I have
blood components and antibiotics and burn care equipment
out  and waiting. I know I will need it all. The trauma team is
on ready. pause log

Resume Log

God I'm tired and I'm living a nightmare.

We have rescued twenty Federation citizens from the Orion
slavers. Two of the poor devils, we were too late for. Kirk
says it is better to be dead than on an Orion slave ship. The
man is a son of a bitch. We had fifteen injured among the
crew, none of them were too serious. I am not sure I even
want to tell you how we rescued the passengers.

No, I need to say this to someone. Well, here it goes.

We ran on communication silence until we were able to scan
the Orion ship. He waited until they were clear of normal
shipping lanes. Spock told me why later, when I asked.  It
was so, strategically, the Orions would not be able to use any
civilian vessels to distract us. The Vulcan was actually
satisfied Kirk was able to show so much restraint. It seems
most in his experience would have just gone after them with
their guns blazing. Kirk stalked them, from the high grass of
the Savannah. When we had cleared the lanes, Kirk overtook
it at warp eight. He destroyed the shields and targeted its
engineering section only. We flew circles around the pirate
ship. All the time you could hear a pin drop on the bridge.
When we finally blasted though his shields, the Orion Captain
decided to pull one of the hostages up to the bridge and
there in front of our eyes, he slit his throat. The boy had to be
about 22 years old. The Orion bastard. He told us that unless
we let him go, he would do that to each and every one of the
passengers. Kirk's eyes got scary, but his face was as
expressionless as a Vulcan's. He asked for a second to get
the okay from Starfleet and broke the connection. He called
down to the transporter room and had them pinpoint the
Captain of the Orion ship. When they had a lock on him, he
had them beam a tiny explosive device over to the other ship,
into the Captain's body. Then he detonated it, himself. The
negotiations went smoothly right after that. The Captain of the
Orions is, of course, in very small pieces.

Kirk has been very quiet. He doesn't seem to be enjoying his
victory. I think even he is repulsed by what he did. I know
deep inside, he saved the rest of those passengers lives, but
I don't have to like how he did it. He has already been by here
to speak to all of the injured crew and the passengers. The
passengers we rescued, needless to say, were pretty shook
up by the experience, but they have been hugging him and
praising his name like it is a benediction. To them, I guess it
is. The crew just stared at him with open adoration. One idiot
didn't want his scar removed. He wanted it as a momento of
when he kicked Orion ass.  We have all the pirates naked
and in the brig. An Orion considers it humiliating to be naked
in front of aliens. They all are butt naked even as we speak.

Kirk let Sulu blow up their ship. He dissected it like a
watermelon. These guys I am working with can be very
dangerous. My other ships were nothing like this.

A while ago, I couldn't sleep. I decided to go to the
observation deck to be by myself. It was 0300 I figured
nobody would be up there. I was wrong. Kirk was sitting up
there in the dark with the ports wide open to the stars. He
didn't hear me come in, I think. When I got next to him, he
startled a little. He turned away. I could have sworn he had
been crying. It felt like that. The air seemed all heavy and
dense, but when he turned back to look at me his eyes were
as dry as a desert. I left him alone. It seemed like he needed
that space more than I did.

End Log