Title: Doctor's Logs 2 Author: Istannor Series: TOS Part: 1/1 Rating: PG13 Codes: Lang. Summary: McCoy is ordered to keep a personal log as a physician, of his observations aboard the Enterprise. They are for his use only, for therapy and to work out any issues he might have. Disclaimer: These are the characters of Paramount and Viacom, they own them I only check 'em out from the library. I promise to bring 'em back. Stardate 1598.9 Call it planet hell. They will give it a number on a Starchart and a name eventually. It looked so idyllic. The first contact team went down to start the survey. Kirk actually let them go without him , because the readings were so ordinary and he had to finish a report for Starfleet. The largest animals were the size of Bengal tigers, but seemed very placid. Kirk had planned to be in the second team. Spock led the first beamdown. It was uneventful and Kirk followed with the second squad about two hours later. The reports on the planet made it seem wonderful. I was just getting up my nerve to use that dang blasted transporter when reports of injuries came up to the ship. They started sending up people with signs of being mauled. One was already dead before I got to him. I was able to get some life signs out of him, after a hell of a lot of work, but I'll be damned if I gonna give up on a kid that young. He is in stasis now, on full life support. I may be able to do something with him, later. Reports came filtering up fast of the away team being under attack. Kirk started the beam up process, but lost sight of Spock. They were moving fast to keep out of range of attacking animals. It was hard to get a transporter lock on them. He got the rest of the team up on a rocky outcropping and went to look for Spock, damn fool. The Team beamed up safely, and then we started to search for Kirk, Spock, and one missing crewman from the Science section. It turns out, I found out later, Spock had heard the crewman being attacked and had tried to rescue him. In the ensuing fight he had lost his communicator and phaser. He was basically running for all he was worth, carrying an injured crewman on his back. Kirk didn't "feel" we could wait for sensors to find him. He "felt" Spock was in trouble, so he went after him, by himself, loaded to bear with the weapons from the team he had beamed up. In hindsight, he was right, but it doesn't make what he did any easier to digest for me. He found Spock backed against a rock ledge fighting off four of the creatures with his bare hands, at the same time trying to protect the man lying at his feet. Sometimes, I forget how strong the Vulcan is, then he forcibly reminds you. We are still trying to figure out what set those creatures off. Spock thinks it was our smell. That's possible. If so, maybe it was the smell of his blood, that was driving the creatures insane. Kirk phasered as many as he could, but the last one was too close to Spock to hit it without hitting Spock, and their signals were too close to separate out for transport up. The fool, admittedly the brave fool, ran and grabbed the creature to pull it off of Spock, so he could throw it clear. He succeeded, but not before that thing raked his belly with its claws and opened him from his sternal notch to his symphysis pubis. His ribs protected his lungs. His guts were falling out of him and he was gushing blood all over the transporter platform when they beamed up. Spock was trying to hold the walls of his abdomen together. He saved all of his crew, but at what cost. Is this the same man that blew apart an Orion pirate? I will sit here a little longer. I can't sleep. When Spock told him everyone had made it back to the ship, Kirk had smiled. He went under with that smile on his face. Spock is in the next room, sitting at his bedside. End Log Stardate 1600.1 Kirk is going to live. Spock has us heading for deep space still. He feels the Captain will do better on board ship than at a Starbase. He's probably right. The closest Starbase doesn't have anything better than we have. I was able to get the other boy back, too. I will play with him for awhile. He is going to need some reconstructive surgery and a lot of tissue regeneration, but he'll do okay. He wanted to stay aboard too. He said his family is on the ship. I feel good about my work. I'm damn good at surgery, I know that, and I'm not afraid to say it. It looks like by the time I finish on this ship, I'll be even better. I went to sit with James Kirk today in the sickbay and just talk with him. I needed to understand why he went off after Spock alone like that. I am in charge of the mans psychological well- being, as well as his physical health. When you get him to talk, he is refreshingly open and honest. In fact, I don't think I have ever met a man with so much power, who had so much ability to look at his and everyone else's actions and motivations from alternate view points. Let me explain what I mean. I asked him why he went after Spock alone. He answered, because he had a hunch, Spock needed him, and couldn't wait. Then when he saw my reaction he didn't get defensive, he just tried to help me understand. "Bones," I may learn to hate that nickname one day, but now, I sorta like it, " it is hard to explain hunches, or intuition. I know that as a medical man you may be skeptical, but in command school, they talk about subliminally integrated information. They have a theory that some people are able to see and store information, unconsciously, and work on its integration. The final result can be decisions or insights that result in hunches. Most people discard them or ignore them because they don't know where they originate. I don't discard anything, especially my hunches. I had a hunch Spock needed me, so I acted on it." "Suppose you had been killed or maimed doing so?" I had to ask him. I wanted to know what he thought of his own mortality. His answer was as strange as he is. "Dead, I wouldn't have given a shit, because I wouldn't have known. Maimed, I would have been content, if I succeeded. I don't think I'm immortal, or unstoppable. I am just difficult to kill without most folks dying in the attempt. Any man can be had." I asked him the next question on my mind. "Would you do it for any man? Would you risk you life for any man like that? Would you be as quick to do it, if the men lost had not included Spock?" He answered without hesitation. I will give him credit for that. "I would do it for any member of my crew. But, because Spock was at stake, I was, not only afraid for them, I was afraid for me. " He answered and I believe him. I think I am beginning to understand him better and what I see, I like. Spock is in there now. He came in with a chessboard and set it up for them to play. He moves his pieces and Kirk's pieces. They chat a little. When Spock is around, Kirk's pain readings decrease and he visibly relaxes. I can see the effect on the monitors. The Vulcan, away from Kirk, since he has been hurt, has been as stone faced as I have ever seen him. But. . .when he goes into the sickbay, his whole body language softens. His eyes crinkle around the edges and he gets just the hint of a personality. I have never heard him thank his Captain for his rescue. I asked Kirk about that. Well, to be truthful I was mad at Spock for not having shown any gratitude. Damn, the man almost died saving his green ass and he hasn't even said thank-you. Kirk just looked at me with a half-smile and told me what I already know. "Bones, Spock isn't human. Thank-you's are illogical to a Vulcan, and I don't require one from him. I have all I need, he's alive." I still think the ungrateful bastard should say, thank-you. End Log 8 1