Title: Doctor's Logs 25
Author: Istannor
Series: TOS
Part: 1/1
Rating: [PG 13]
Codes:
Summary: McCoy and James Kirk go on a short Shoreleave
together.

Disclaimer: These are the characters of Paramount and
Viacom, they own them I only check 'em out from the library. I
promise to bring 'em back.





 Doctor's Logs 25



Hot diggity dog. Life is grand, dammit. Woo Boy, that was
one great shoreleave. I'm never going on another shoreleave
without Jim in tow. I had no idea how many perfectly
wonderful women throw themselves at him. Far more than he
can possibly handle on a three-day leave.

I will take my bows all-around. I know I aimed to serve. I
helped myself to the best castoffs I have ever seen. Damn,
the boy is good. He is beyond good, he's phenomenal.

I had a different woman every damn night, and if I had been
younger, I could've done better than that. Woo, doggie.

Let me catch my breath and explain.

Jim agreed to join me on shoreleave. He said that he had
tried to hook up with Sam, but his brother couldn't make it.
Jim told me we had to travel in civvies, so I got on my
"looking-for-women" wear and met him in the transporter
room. He walked me back to my cabin and made me change
clothes. Over my loud objections, I took off my wonderful
bright-blue, silk shirt and tight, dark blue, leather pants, and
put on a pair of casual black slacks and a plain shirt with
some boots.

Come on, in nature, males need color to attract females.
That's what I told Jim. "Go screw a peacock, then," is what he
told me. He thought that was so funny. Har frigging, har, what
a jokester. He told me if I was going to go trolling in open
waters with him, I had to look the part.

 What did he have on? Get this - he was wearing drawstring
 black linen pants, a crisp white silk vest, and some really
 comfortable faux-skin black shoes.

 The asshole looked fabulous, smelled good, too.

I thought it was going to be a rough frigging night for me,
really lean and hungry, if you know what I mean. He must've
read my expression because he patted me on my shoulder
and said: "Looking for women isn't a  competitive sport,
Bones." He claimed there were more than enough women to
go around. Then he promised me some action. Damn, did
that man ever keep his word.

We beamed down to Starbase 9 and as soon as we left the
Starfleet sector, Jim reached into his pocket and came out
with that little earband I saw him wearing on Antares. The
further we got from Starfleet, the looser he walked, and the
more relaxed he became. Me too, for that matter.

We walked to the civilian sector and I thought Jim would get
raped on his way to the bar.

How does he do that?

Women just stared at him and smiled. He smiled back at a
few but never stopped.

We made it to our destination -- The Binary Bar. The caption
below the name read: "The answer is always yes... or  no."

I liked that instantly.

The place was smoky, loud, crowded, sweaty, and filled with
some of the most gorgeous and exotic looking women I've
ever seen. There were some really handsome men too, but
who gives a hoot about them.

Jim got us a table and we sat down to wait for a waitron.
Before we got settled, somebody screamed right in my ear.
"Jimboy, where have you been, you naughty Boy? You know I
miss you horribly when you're away."

I turned around to the hottest piece of luscious, big breasted,
big behind, narrow-waisted impossibility I ever had the
pleasure of drooling over. She floated by me like something
out of a wet dream. I tried to keep my tongue in my mouth.
Yummy. She went straight to Jim and proceeded to kiss him
like she was using her tongue as a probe to examine his
vocal cords. No one, and I mean no one, has ever kissed me
like that.

That lasted forever, or at least until she got tired of standing,
plopped herself onto Jim's lap and restarted her examination
of his inner reaches. I felt about as left out as a person could
feel. Talk about being a third wheel, sheesh.

When they finally came up for air, Jim introduced her. Her
name was Lala... really.

Lala was the proprietor of the Binary Bar. Believe it or not,
she and Jim are  just friends. In reality, behind those
impossible body measurements, is a woman with an iron
trap business sense, a great sense of humor, and a blade in
her left boot. She made me feel really welcome. After she
found out I was a friend of Jim's, I got almost the same
welcome he got. I thought I had died and found Nirvana.

She was one mean kisser. I was so glad the place was dark,
I was sitting, and my pants were loose.  Did I tell you Jim
doesn't wear skivvies when he's on leave? I found out why.
They are very uncomfortable when the little man wakes up. I
wondered why he always wore loose pants when he was off
duty. What a smart guy.

I refuse to tell the particulars of that evening, or the next two,
except to say I got more than enough attention to make me
stand at attention, if you know what I mean. Yes, I did indeed.

The club was for men, women, humans, non-humans,
anybody that wanted to relax, screw, relax and screw, and so
on.

While I was sitting there, one of the most handsome men I
have ever seen came up to Jim and rubbed him on his
shoulder. He said his name was Cary. I think he was all
human, but I could be wrong. Regardless, he was painfully
handsome. He leaned down and whispered in Jim's ear. Jim
smiled at him and shook his head softly. Cary leaned back
down and kissed Jim on the neck. Then he walked away.

I asked Jim what that was about. He told me Cary wanted to
know if Jim was interested in the best blow job he would ever
get in life. Jim had thanked him for his interest, but gave him
the binary no. No meant no.

As far as I could tell, there were only two rules at the Binary
Bar-- no children and no blood. Anything and everything else
was okay. If you were into S&M, you wore little chains around
your neck. The folks who liked domination and submission
games had handcuffs for bracelets if they wanted to be the
submissive one, and whips for bracelets if they wanted to be
the dominant one. If you were into fantasy, you dressed the
part.

Jim had on a sleeveless shirt, a loose pair of pants, and one
earring around his left ear.  All that meant was: I'm Jim.

He had women lining up and I was happy to talk to the
women he couldn't accommodate. I'll give the Boy credit, it
wasn't for lack of trying. Jim had a reputation in the place for
being a great lay. So, the women would walk up to our table,
sit in his lap and proceed to stick ten yards of tongue down
his throat.

He was definitely an equal opportunity employer. Now I know
why he can stay celibate for months on end. I also know why
he never gets high on shoreleave. There's no way he could
have made all those women happy if he had been drunk; they
sure looked happy to me.

I asked him the next day why none of the females he dealt
with seemed jealous or possessive. He said, "I'm one of the
few men in their lives who will never lie to them. I tell them up
front, I just want to screw. I don't play mind games; I don't tell
them I love them; I don't promise to call. I just screw them until
they have enough and want to go on to the next man. The
women who come to places like this are adults. They are not
here for love, only sex. They usually are experienced and
intelligent, at least intelligent enough to know what they want
and go after it. I let them come to me, decide on me first, then
I decide which ones I want to have fun with. No commitments,
Bones."

For some reason, I didn't like his answer. So, I asked if he
ever got tired of screwing all those women and not really
knowing any of them. I'm sorry I asked that question, but the
doctor in me took over. Jim just seems to deserve more.

"Sure," he said, "but, I don't have a lot of choices other than
being completely celibate." He got real quiet for a minute and
I wished I could've pulled back my stupid question.

"Bones, how does it feel to have someone agree to marry
you?" He was being serious and I didn't have an easy answer
for him so he went on. "I mean, how does it feel to come
home to the same person day after day?"

Ouch, that brought back unpleasant memories. But, it
reminded me of some good times, too. My ex-wife and I had
a lot of good times, for a lot of years.

I tried to answer him as honestly as I could. "It's ... it is really
good to feel loved. I still would be on Earth if my marriage
had lasted. That's how good it was. I loved every minute of
being married ... until the end."

We both sat there quietly, lost in our own thoughts.

He was the first to break the silence. "You know, I have a
reputation of being a dog, alias James 'Tomcat' Kirk. Most
people think that because I have a lot of partners, I'm some
kind of liar, or cheat. I've never cheated in a monogamous
relationship. But, no one believes that, including the women
I've tried to have relationships with.

"The men get jealous because they see so many women
coming after me. Shoot, Bones, if half of them spent the time
paying attention to a woman's responses and needs that I
spend, they'd have women lined up and waiting for them, too.

"Bones," his voice was the barest of whispers, "I'd give up
every sex-partner I've had, for one committed, real,
relationship with someone who loves me." He laughed but I
wasn't amused. "A lot of women want to play with me for  a
while, but none of them want to make the necessary
sacrifices to stay with me.

"It is a hell of a lot easier to make a woman happy for a few
days than it is to get her to stay. Attention to detail, that's all it
takes. Make sure you give as well as get pleasure. Take your
time and make them laugh. Those are the James Kirk rules.
Heck, everything I know about making love to women, I
learned from a woman. You can't learn about women from a
man. We don't know anything. Unless a woman teaches you,
you remain permanently ignorant. Next time you make love,
listen to your partner; go slow. Ask her what she wants and
she'll want to enshrine your dick on her dresser." He looked
off into the distance, and I got the distinct impression that for
a minute, he had forgotten I was there.

"I have another two days left. I'm going to go practice what I
preach. I have no idea how long it'll be before anyone
touches me again, so I'm going to get as much as I can now
... for the lean times."

He got up and led me to the back room of the club. I did what
he told me to. I listened to my partners the next two days. I
never knew how good it was to have a woman be multi-
orgasmic because of me. I was always one of those guys
who use to turn over and go to sleep. Damn, just thinking of
all those wasted years makes my stomach hurt.

I wonder if my wife would've been faithful if I had listened to
what her body told me.

Well, that sure is water under the bridge, now ain't it?

 Shoreleave is over.

 I got laid.

 Now it's time to ask my Captain some important questions,
 and this time, I won't leave until I get my answers.