Title: Doctor's Logs Author: Istannor Series: TOS Part: 1/1 Rating: [PG 13] Codes: Summary: Spock tells how he found his Captain. Now Disclaimer: These are the characters of Paramount and Viacom, they own them I only check 'em out from the library. I promise to bring 'em back, one day. Doctor's Logs 37 "I'm on my way." "Bring me an enteral tube, please." "I have to go get it." "We're going to be finished in a minute, Captain. At the Vulcan Science Academy, I was taught that the mind is always aware. They never leave anyone alone when they are ill. I wonder if it's the same for Humans." "Here, Spock, give me your last set of bio-readings from the surface. I want to compare them to Jim's brainscan." "You will find them to coincide exactly, Doctor." "Hmm, we'll see." "Captain, it's me, M'Benga. I'm not sure if you can hear me, but you're back on the ship. Everybody is here and safe. Mr. Spock was really worried about you. I thought I'd have to knock him out. He kept going deeper and deeper, past the suit's safety limits. Giotto and I had to threaten him with an emergency beam up to get him to come to the surface the last time and resuit up. I think he almost smiled at first, when the Elder One brought you back up to the surface. But, you looked like a tiny broken toy lying on a living mountain. The air crackled with electrostatic discharge. I have never seen anything like it in my life. I could hear it, just bits and pieces, but I wasn't suppose to be able to hear that through my shields." <...> "It was beautiful. The Song. The Elder one never stopped Singing. Allah be praised that I was allowed this opportunity. We thought you were dead. Mr. Spock's bio readings jumped off the scale. He ran across the flesh of the Elder to reach you. Giotto couldn't move fast enough to stop him. You have to live now. You have become lodged in a Vulcan's heart. I don't think you understand what that means yet. I once was lodged in a Vulcan's heart. There is no place as warm, this side of a Sun's interior." "When T'Lienna, she who was my Bondmate, died, I thought I would go insane. You will find there is no substitute for a Vulcan's regard. No Human will serve as well, no-one will focus as clearly. It is...frightening and...exhilarating." "Forgive me. I still miss her. I always will. We're going to make you better. When you get better, can you please make sure Leonard doesn't break my neck for me being down there instead of him? Spock suspected the creatures were telepathic, so I was a better choice. You know how much Leonard hates mindgifts. He would've had a fit if Spock had told him what he planned to do. How did it feel to Sing with the Elders? What did you see, I wonder?" "Dr. M'Benga, I've got the tubing. How is he?" "Not as good as he's going to be, Christine." "It's an exact match. Sit-down, Spock." "I do not require a seat, Doctor. Why have you insisted on this discussion taking place in your office? I was willing to give you a report in Sickbay." "I don't want them to hear what I have to say you, Spock. Stop weaving in place. You're almost out on your feet. Sit down." "A seat is not required for conversation." "You are one stubborn...never mind. How are you going to deal with the fact that your decision to leave me on this ship may have contributed to Jim coming up here half dead? I told you I needed to be down there. I'm the trauma specialist, not M'Benga. You placed both of us in untenable positions. The delay getting the appropriate things done may have caused irreparable damage to Jim." "I required other things from Dr. M'Benga than you were able to give me. He performed admirably. I have explained myself to you once, Dr. McCoy. I shall not do so again. If that is all you wished to speak about, I shall leave now. " "Wait one damn minute, Mister. What can M'Benga do that I can't? Shit...telepathy. Did you take my doctor down to that planet to initiate a telepathic contact without my knowledge?" "Would you have agreed to it?" "You'll never know, because you didn't give me a chance to make a decision that was mine to make." "I am in command." "Not anymore." "Bridge, Scotty. "Alive. Scotty, Mr. Spock is no longer in command. He has had mental contact with an alien influence. You are in command until he is cleared per General Order 52.3. CMO Discretion. McCoy out." "That was unnecessary. I had planned to take the same steps without your intervention." "Well then, I only made it easier for you. I want to know what happened down there. Give me my answers, or spend the next 10 days of review locked in your quarters, while I slowly evaluate your fitness for command. Who brought Jim up to the surface? Who told you he'd be all right?" "The wwisshaalomnaaaaijsssuthanjhussmmannigwanndoathaanmmkas adommmithanjuubnnsjjwhhaujjkkwakwwanmdsimmmdish..." "Spock! Look at me. Stop it, stop it, take a breath." "There, that's better. What the hell was that?" "Their name is their essence. It has a power I did not anticipate. I began to say it and I felt myself being drawn away, back into the Song." "I have never seen you this...vague. Give me a short version, then, in standard." "There is no equivalent in standard for their name, Dr. McCoy. It would and does take a combination of telepathy and symbols to represent who they are." "Spock, sit down, before you fall down. Dammit, I'll get the chair myself. Just stand there." "Sit!" "That's better." "Look at him. Asleep, he looks like one of our ensigns.I can't ever forget how kind he was to me after Roger died.I must have cried on his shoulder for twenty minutes and he never complained. I almost got him killed and he told me what a great job I did. Evans, one day, we won't be able to save him." "Yes, well today isn't that day, Christine. Why don't you get him cleaned up while I go get a cup of cha? My head is killing me." "Sure." "Here, drink this, Spock. I don't want you falling out in the middle of my sick bay. You look like a damn avocado. " "I fail to see how insulting me can assist in achieving your goal of more information, Dr. McCoy." "You're right, it probably won't help me, but it sure as heck makes me feel better. You put me through hell up on this ship and brought me back a friend who was almost dead. Part of me wants to punish you for that, Spock, and I'm sorry. I shouldn't take it out on you, at least now. Later, maybe I'll beat you with a sonic wrench. Tell me what happened with Jim and I promise to keep my mouth shut." "Very well." <...> "Mr. Spock. . ." "I am thinking, Doctor." "No, you're stalling. Why?" "I can still hear them. It is most disconcerting." "You can still hear who? Will you open your damn mouth? Don't give me your super Vulcan look, I need answers." "Very well. It seems our previous evaluation about the possibilities of intelligent life on the surface was incorrect. We did not take into account the life cycle of the dominant sea creature, the Neo-Caninopiscineolithcus." "The what?" "Jim's Seadog. I was remiss. I should have pursued the incident at the beach when Jim fell asleep on what he had euphemistically named a Seadog." "Yeah, he said they fetched and played just like his dogs at home. He almost gave me a heart attack when he rode that real big one the night we were on the beach. I saw you go a little green around the gills too. It was the alcohol that made him fall asleep." "No, I no longer believe that, Doctor. When has he ever passed out from alcohol? I allowed my personal antipathy to the ingestion of mind-altering substances to affect my judgement. Swimming while under the influence was completely unlike him. Unfortunately, I also attributed his falling asleep to the alcohol he had imbibed. It was not the alcohol that sedated him, it was contact with the Seadog. The larger Seadog had come up to investigate and he carried with him part of the Song. Jim heard it without hearing it and was lulled into sleep. I can hear it." "You hear what, Spock?" <...> "Spock, what do you hear?" "The Song. It takes all of my effort not to hear it. You hear nothing? I hear it even now. I do not understand why I did not hear it earlier. Perhaps they have to reach out to you first in order to hear it. That would explain. . ." <...> "Spock, I'm over here. Use your voice, I can't read minds. You just went silent on me again." "I am listening. They are so loud. You cannot hear anything?" "All I hear is you not telling me what I want to hear. " "They are enormous. Equivalent to three times the size of the largest sea creature ever known to inhabit your primeval oceans on Earth. As the Seadogs age, those who survive grow larger and larger. At a critical mass, they become aware and profoundly changed. They become part of the Song. They began to sing, not with voices, but with their minds, their very souls. This is not logical. I..." "Spock..." "Then. . . they sink towards the bottom of the ocean 6,000 m below the surface. Pressures down there are great enough to crush the life out of a human in 1.34 seconds without the protection of a suit. I must surmise the Captain heard the song on a level below, or beyond, the conscious level. They must have already sung to him once, while he rode the large Animal on the surface. It pulled him towards them and when they were floating in the darkness of the middle ocean, he donned an EVA suit and went to join the song. "He floated down, rested on the back of an Elder, and entered the song. He became One Who Sings. He swims in the corona of stars, dives into black holes and emerges into new galaxies. It is a galaxy without time, limitless space. Doctor, they sail the universe with their minds. They leave the corporeal form here on the bottom of the ocean and make their way through space to touch and taste the stuff of stars. They put everything they have ever passed into a song that has lasted for untold millennium. He hears the Song. I hear the Song. I can feel the winds of space pulling me along towards the Orion Nebulae. Did you know there is music in the flicker of a solar flare?" "What is that, Dr. McCoy?" "A mild stimulant and some of your own special Vulcan-hybrid cocktail for times just like this. Your not making a hell of alot of sense. Song, shmong. Why is Jim's brainwave pattern not returning to normal? Why does it match the patterns from the planet surface? Maybe after you get some rest, you'll make some sense." "No, I will finish this." "Then, start. You don't have long before the juice's kick dissipates and you'll be ready to pass out." "Jim did not wish to return. The suit was running out of oxygen. His corporeal form was failing. They Who Sing sensed he was dying and returned him to the surface. They did not wish his death to become part of the song. It is possible they never die once they learn to Sing. One who was still mobile, young in their reckoning and ancient in ours, returned him to us. Jim remains in the Song. I can hear him; I can hear where he has woven himself into the Song. It is a calling. He calls us...me. I cannot touch his mind without touching the song. I will lose myself if I attempt it again. I cannot. . .help him." "Christine, I'm back,refreshed and full of Cha. Raise his core temperature by one degree. " "One degree core elevation. Done." "Dr. M'Benga?" "Yes, Ensign Jones. " "The chamber is ready and up to the temperature Dr. McCoy asked for. Do you want to transport the Captain to it now?" "Yes. We're ready. Christine, get on the other side and Jones, you take his feet. We'll transfer him to the trolley on the count of three. " "Spock, I'm getting older every minute here. Finish telling your story." "1 ... 2 ... 3 ...lift. There. All right folks, make sure all the lines are secure. Christine, switch him over to the remote monitors. " "He's not heavy at all. I always thought he would weigh more. " "You're not the first to say that, Jones. I think we all assume he's bigger than life and indestructible." "Do you think he'll make it?" "God, I hope so, Ensign." "He'll make it. Leonard and Spock will kill each other trying to make sure he does. " "They're not that bad, Christine." "I'm here all the time, Evans. I know what I'm talking about. I'm not sure who would feel more devastated, Leonard or. . ." "Spock. . .Spock. . .look at me!" "I am slightly fatigued." "No, you're almost unconscious. Damn, and that's after a stimulant. Just answer two more questions and I'm through for now. Are you saying that Jim is still under their mental influence?" "Yes. He is still in the song. He still sails through space. They could not completely send him away without forever altering the Song. The Song is all. " "It sounds like you're still affected." "I cannot deny the strain inherent in resisting the Song." "Why do you?" "I beg your pardon." "I said, why do you resist it. It sounds just up your alley: exploration without emotional involvement. Why aren't you singing with the best of them? Jim left, why are you still here?" "If I join the Song, Jim will die. Humans are not meant to leave their bodies in this fashion. His body will cease to function and when it dies, his mind will follow." "Won't you die, also?" "Unknown. Vulcans are. . .different. We are telepaths. It is possible I could endure forever." "But, even if Jim died, you'd have a good chance of living forever, traveling through space like a damn God, and getting to see the 'Mysteries of the Universe'." "The operative phrase is, 'Jim would die'." "I see." "You see what, Doctor?" "Never you mind. What do we do next?" "I. . .do not know." "I do, dammit. Go to bed. I'll check on Jim. You're off duty until further notice. Somehow, we'll figure a way out of this. First, you get some rest and I'll get his bio's up to speed. He's not dying on my watch. I won't have it." "For once, I concur. I can do nothing now. Perhaps when I am better rested. . ." "You're off duty, Spock, because you've been and continue to be in contact with an alien consciousness. You can't do anything. Go to bed. I'll walk you to your door." "That is not necessary. " "Sue me. Come on." "Where is everybody? Christine! Evans! Jim's gone. They must have taken him to the decompression chamber. Who left this log recorder on? Damn, I bet it recorded everything anyone in this damn place said. If people just use the manual switch instead of always relying on voice commands, they could turn the thing off. Why people can't follow simple..."